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Thursday 31 October ~ by Gemini
We had quite an exiting day one way and another. For a start our long awaited 'Big Box' arrived, containing the first ever batch of the first ever exclusive 'Cat Rescue' T-shirts designed by us! Oh yes, we're even more talented than we look, I know that's hard to believe, (so if your wardrobe is one t-shirt short of a full collection, check them out on this page: T-Shirts). The next exciting thing was having a visit from our old friend Man in Socks. He hasn't visited for a while so George went a bit bonkers showing off and generally going silly (typical). I however, just went straight in for the fuss, and Man in Socks never disappoints on the fussing front. Never trust a man who won't fuss your cats, that what I say. I must admit though that the best thing of all wasn't the T-shirts, or the fussing, it was the Big Box!
Wednesday 30 October ~ by George
I'm glad our folks are rubbish at gardening. If they were any good at it I'm sure there wouldn't be half the overgrown bushes and undergrowth in our garden that there is. And if we didn't have that, where would I go on my secret hunting missions as 'Secret Agent George, Double-O one-and-a-half'? It doesn't bear thinking about. I went on a good long hunt through the bushes today, and found lots of the frogs that live in the pond during the summer have now set up camp in there. I don't mean they've got little ridge tents and sleeping bags, singing round the campfire in the evenings or anything, although that's a lovely image come to think of it. They seem quite happy living under stones and twigs and bits of wood, so I'm glad I'm a George and not a frog. I may be Big and Bold but I like my home comforts!
Tuesday 29 October ~ by Gemini
Our new slumber-pad-bed thingy just gets better and better. Today, one of the folks made a new cover for it, all fleecy and cuddly it is, I guess it's the winter version of the regular cover. As it's positioned right by a radiator, it's currently my second favourite napping spot. I say second favourite, because I still prefer a good lap when I can get one, especially when it doesn't move about too much. This is why I'm a big fan of Harry Potter. Why Harry Potter you might ask, well I'll explain. I have no idea what is so fascinating about these particular books, but I do know it makes my favourite lap sit still for ages! I have never known any other books to do this so successfully, and I am most grateful. As soon as I spot them picking up a HP book, I know I can count on a good hour's lap-nap!
Monday 28 October ~ by George
I was full of beans all day, after our lazy Sunday yesterday. I don't know where my energy comes from, but I do know that if I don't use it up one day, I'm left with two lots for the following day! Bounce, bounce, bounce. Boing, boing, boing. Leap, pounce, leap, pounce. Nope, still got some left. OK, time for some George Aerobics: dash up the stairs, dash down the stairs, repeat exercise. Sprint across kitchen, crash through catflap, once round the garden, back in again then wail. That was yesterday's energy used up, now for today's. A little coffee-table-skating was called for, so I had a couple of good goes at that. I haven't lost my touch, in fact I don't think I've ever knocked quite so much 'stuff' off the coffee table in one go before, most impressive! I don't know what Gemini does with her spare energy I'm sure. Eats it probably.
Sunday 27 October ~ by Gemini
I can't remember the last time it was this windy, the pigeons in next door's tree must have had to strap themselves on to stay there! Half the clothes off someone's washing line a few gardens away ended up on our grass (just missed the pond!), and poor little George was nearly knocked off his paws just walking down the path, (well he hasn't got the same amount of steadying 'ballast' that I have). This was definitely one of those days best viewed from behind a window, and not experienced first hand, unless absolutely necessary. So, basically we did the sensible thing and stayed indoors watching things fly past every so often, and counting our blessings. I counted about twenty before I did an even more sensible thing and went off to sleep, (on our new four layers thick G & G slumber pad of course!)
Saturday 26 October ~ by George
I caught another little bird bandit again last night, oh I'm just sooooo clever. So clever and so Big, Bad, Tough and Streetwise and all those other admirable things that a George Cat should be. I left it's insides in a little pile under the kitchen table for the folks, well it's traditional isn't it? I like traditional things, like always eating out of the right hand bowl while Gemini eats from the left. I also like christmas lights, tinsel, wrapping paper and hazelnuts, all traditional see? I don't eat the hazelnuts you understand, no that would be daft, and a waste of a good toy. No, I swipe them and bat them around the floor, then chase them behind the settee or under the telly, that's what hazelnuts are traditionally for in my book. I'd like to know why we only have them at Christmas, 'Swiping the Hazelnut' seems like a good all-year-round game to me. I did manage to hide one under an armchair once, and it wasn't discovered until February!
Friday 25 October ~ by Gemini
There were strange goings on today with our duvet. I mean with our duvet, mine and George's, not the folks' one. First of all, it had deserted it's usual place, which was very odd. I found it in the living room with one of the folks, who appeared to be cutting it up into pieces! My initial reaction of 'Oy, that's our bed!' soon gave way to total curiosity. I thought it best to stick around to see what the deal was (after all, we'd need it later), so I sat on some bits and watched them muck around with other bits. Then out came the needle and thread, and it all started to make sense, as a proper two-cat sized bed (and fitted cover) started to take shape. I'd never really thought too much about our duvet before, but now it's been transformed into a lovely, neat, four layers thick G & G slumber pad, I realise what a messy old heap we'd been sleeping on up until now! They should have done this years ago. Needless to say, we didn't waste any time trying it out!
Thursday 24 October ~ by George
My mate the printer in the office has been working his little socks off today. Actually, he hasn't really got socks, it's just a figure of speech but if he did they'd definitely be worked off. I on the other hand haven't been busy at all today except for catching up on some well earned sleep. I was out hunting last night, and catching (and eating) that bird took all my spare energy. I did manage to show my face up in the office for a while, and had a little chat and purr session with my printer pal. I still can't exactly work out where his purrs come from, I had a good look all round him as you can see, but am none the wiser. Mind you I don't really know where my purrs come from!
Wednesday 23 October ~ by Gemini
When is a Wednesday not a Wednesday? When it's Sunday apparently. What I mean is, today bore all the hallmarks of being a Sunday, but I know it wasn't. The folks were doing Sunday things and cooking Sunday food, I've no idea why. Changing duvets and turning the mattress over for a start, not something I would expect of a Wednesday at all, maybe it's a seasonal thing. It was quite fun though, particularly when the mattress got 'flipped over', me and George were both on hand (and in the way) to help (and hinder). Salmon soup was on the menu later, that's the 'juice' from the tin, and is usually a Sunday type treat. And then, to make my day, there was trifle! It's not that I like trifle (it's a waste of good custard, putting fruit in it), no, it's that we get to lick the bowl after they've made the cream topping, scrummy!
Tuesday 22 October ~ by George
There's things in this life that you want to get into and there are things you don't. Today I managed to do both. The thing I wanted to get into was a big warm, fluffy towel, and all I had to do to get that was to go out and get soaking wet. That's not so easy when it isn't raining of course, but the weather was very obliging today and bucketed down all morning. The Big Towel is great, it's miles bigger than me, and I purr like crazy when I'm in it. The thing I didn't want to get into was a coat, a people-coat, you know, one with sleeves. It happened during one of my bonkers sessions of running up and down the stairs. Our folks hang their coats on the bottom of the stair bannisters you see, and this particular one decided to leap out and capture me! It did, honest, I'd just pelted down the hall and rounded the corner to go up the stairs and 'Whuumpph!' there I was stuck in this coat! Undignified for me, but highly entertaining for everyone else.
Monday 21 October ~ by Gemini
Uh-oh, it's that noisy time of year again. I'd forgotten how noisy it can be. I'm talking of course about fireworks. They've been going 'Bang' for the last few nights and I have no idea how long this is going to go on, last year it seemed like months. Don't get me wrong, I don't dislike them totally, in fact I have been known to sit in the window with one of the folks and watch them, it's just the noise that I'm not keen on. When will someone invent fireworks that do all the pretty bits without the noisy bits? Not much frightens me as you know, (being a TFT ~ Top Fighting Tabby) seeing off the local bully-cats is one thing, but they don't go 'Bang!' do they? I've decided that this year I'd just get as far out of the 'Bang's way as possible and stay there until they shut up. It's not bad behind the settee actually, quite comfy and warm, and virtually 'Bang' free. I could do with some prawns behind there though, any chance? Hint, hint?
Sunday 20 October ~ by George
Today was mostly rainy, windy and yukky, so it was time for some good old warm-you-up winter games. First on my list was that old favourite Rug-Tug, which I haven't really played seriously since last winter. The folks say it's like Monopoly in that no-one ever plays it in the summer. Yes, well that maybe true, but Rug-Tug is a lot more fun than Monopoly. Actually I'm not sure that's true, the last time the monopoly board came out, me and Gemini both joined in and it was great fun. Particularly the part where you skid across the board taking all those pieces of paper with you, I liked that bit. Oh, and batting those little toy things across the carpet, that was good too. I've no idea what the object of the game is, but if it's to scatter all the bits as far around the room as possible, then we definitely won. And yes, I did win Rug-Tug today, but frankly I think our rug's getting a bit past it. Or maybe I'm just to darned good!
Saturday 19 October ~ by Gemini
What was all the fuss about yesterday? I was only up the road at Poppy cats place. Honestly, they know I can more than handle myself, still it's nice to know they care. And I can't be mad at George for eating my tea, I'd have done the same! I'm glad I was home today though, it was superb fun. One of the folks was thinning out the pond plants and re-potting them, which meant baskets and bags of dirt, gravel and weed, and lots of ripping up of material (other pond-owning cats will know exactly what I mean). I quite like the bags and baskets, but my favourite is the ripping material. It looked for a moment like the material was winning, so I stormed in to attack it, you should have seen me go. I went in like a true warrior, using all the teeth and claws I own, and some I'd forgotten I even had! Good fun, and good practice!
Friday 18 October ~ by George
Where's Gemini? Hellooooo Gemini. Cooo-eeee! Are you there? (silence) Oy Gems, where are you!(nothing). Right, well it looks like she's left me to it today. I haven't seen hide nor hair of her since breakfast, which is very unusual. It's already past tea time as I write this. No-one's panicking yet, but give the folks a few hours and if she hasn't turned up they will be. It's usually me who goes off hunting and gets them in a spin, so maybe it's her turn. They've been known to go scouring the gardens with a flashlight at midnight before now, but if it gets that late, I might start worrying about her myself. Still, not one to miss an opportunity, I ate both our teas just in case it went off. I don't know exactly where food goes off to if it's not eaten, but I've heard that it does. Off to the great uneaten tea place in the sky I expect.
Thursday 17 October ~ by George
Continuing on from my success conquering the summit of the Fridge, I decided to try even more daring heights today. The wardrobe. It's taller than the fridge, and also has a lot of 'stuff' on top of it, so a little more careful planning was required. The first bit was relatively easy, because there's a chest of drawers by the side, so I made it that far in one straight leap. Unfortunately there's 'stuff' on top of that too (why do humans need so much stuff?), so getting in the right position to aim for the wardrobe wasn't easy. I had one back leg on a box (probably filled with stuff), and the other on a pile of CD's, it all felt very precarious. However, Big Bad George is also Brave and Fearless, so I just went for it. Yes, of course I made it. The only slight hiccup was that I sent the CD's crashing to the floor and got shouted at. Oooops. Hence, my descent was totally unplanned, I just leapt one huge leap straight from wardrobe to floor which is at least eight George high. Kerr-thudddd! (Ouch.)
Wednesday 16 October ~ by Gemini
There's something quite comforting about this time of year. It's the combination of early sunsets, comfort food and nice warm radiators. I shall start putting on my winter belly soon, that always makes me feel comfy too. I usually lose most of my winter belly through the summer, but this year some of it stayed, so I won't have to try so hard to get back to a satisfactory girth. George doesn't bother with this, he stays skinny all year, and then wonders why he gets cold and has to snuggle up to me! He wanted to snuggle tonight, but I was already nicely positioned on a lap, and there's only room for one. I have to admit to giving him a little swipe, and telling him to go and find his own lap to sit on. There are two in our house after all, although one's better for curling up on than the other. It's about time they made special heated cat chairs in the shape of laps, now there's a winning idea if ever there was one!
Tuesday 15 October ~ by George
I've not had any Big Bold Adventures since it's got cold outside, so I decided to look for something Big and Bold to do indoors instead. The biggest, boldest thing I could find was to leap up on top of our fridge, which I've not done before. It's not your regular fridge you see, it's almost up to the ceiling, so I had to do it in three stages. Leap one: kitchen worktop, Leap two: computer monitor (yes there's one in the kitchen, I know it's not normal), Leap three: Top of the Fridge! This is a photo of me at the summit. I suppose I should have taken a little flag with me to plant, like they do up mountains, saying something like"George Cat, Big Bold Adventurer, first cat to reach Fridge Summit". What a hero I am!
Monday 14 October ~ by Gemini
I don't know if humans ever realise this, but us cats can tell where they've been and what they've been up to just by the smells they bring home with them. I always know if our folks have been to visit one of their friends like Man in Socks or the Giggle Lady, because I know their smells and the smells of their cats, (and our folks are totally unable to go somewhere where there's a cat, and not stroke it). Take last Friday for example, my nose told me instantly that they'd been to 'the pub', but on closer inspection I detected that the cat in charge of this mysterious place had been sitting on one of their laps, yes my laps. Today then, was most intriguing. They'd been off somewhere, and as I welcomed them home, I caught a whiff of... no, it couldn't be... yes it could... most definitely... unmistakeably, kittens! One boy, one girl, very young indeed. See, they can't even go kitten-fussing without me and my nose knowing about it!
Sunday 13 October ~ by George
I was soooo impressed by Gemini yesterday, in fact she's my heroine right now. You should have seen her lay into that intruder, (Blam! Pow! Swipe!) she was amazing! She lost a few clumps of fur, and now has a small but impressive scab on her cheek, but apart from that she came out of it totally unscathed. A true TFT (Top Fighting Tabby) indeed. My conquest today wasn't nearly as spectacular, only a mouse, but at least it was edible. I let Gemini share it, so there was only a little bit of 'insides' left for the folks, not that they're ever grateful. I also did some thinking today, I don't know what brought that on I'm sure. Anyway, I was thinking how smart our radiators are. I mean, they stay cool all summer, then suddenly when it gets cold outside they get all warm. How do they know? All I know is they got warm just in time for us to want to curl up underneath one today. Perfect timing guys!
Saturday 12 October ~ by Gemini
It became very clear to me today that humans do not understand the first thing about cat-fighting etiquette. At least our next door neighbours don't, although I suspect their intentions were good. You see, I own their garden as well as ours, so I feel obliged to defend it from intruders, which is what I was doing today. A rather scruffy type he was, spraying up their lavender bush. I growled a warning first of course, but when he took no notice I had to take action! We rolled over a few times in a mutual claws-to-neck lock, before I pinned him to the ground in front of their trellis, all the while making our battle cries as loud as possible. The noise brought the next door folks out, armed with a bucket of water, which they aimed right in our direction. Now really, there was no need for that, I was winning for goodness sake! I did win of course, and saw him off, but I could have done without the bucket of water, thank you.
Friday 11 October ~ by George
Today I had some devastating news. My email 'girlfriend' is shortly going to be email-less, and we won't be able to contact each other. I feel lost. What am I to do? I can't write her letters (due to my lack of opposing thumbs), and I can't visit (she lives miles away), so I am going to be girlfriend-less until her folks sort this awful situation out. Don't they realise that us 'pets on the net' can't just be cut off like that, it's not fair. I am multi-talented as you know (I can play the answerphone messages, change the TV channels and crash the computer), but even I, Professor George, Defender of the Universe, can't resolve this one. We are at the mercy of fate. Gemini says I'm being a drama queen, but I think she's mistaken there. A drama king maybe. So, farewell my dear... for now, (pauses for dramatic effect) and maybe we'll email again someday, in our dreams. (wipes brow, sniffs, hangs head, exits stage left).
Thursday 10 October ~ by Gemini
I have this theory that as the winter gets near, not only does it get dark annoyingly early, but that the days are actually shorter. I mean seriously shorter, with less hours in. Take today for instance, I ate breakfast, had a good wash and retired for forty winks on the bed. Then I got up, ate tea, had a good wash and retired to the bed for forty winks. Now pardon me if I missed something here, but isn't there supposed to be some hours in between that I can do things in? I'm certain there were loads of doing hours in the summer, so where do they go? It's not that I had anything in particular in mind to do today, but I'd like to have had the choice! I am consoled only by the fact that all that beauty sleep must surely be making me even more gorgeous than I already am. Just agree, George, for your own good.
Wednesday 9 October ~ by George
Gemini tried out a scary new game this morning in which she pretended to be a guided missile. There I was at breakfast time, minding my own business eating some biscuits. Gemini wasn't around when breakfast was served, or so I thought, but she was just outside the back door waiting to play her guided missile game. She must have had a good run-up to the cat flap to make the kind of noise she did, which was basically 'BAAANG! (clatter clatter clatter)'. The 'Baaang!' was Gemini being the missile and the 'clatter clatter clatter' was the cat flap reeling from it's ordeal. My reflexes are very sharp when they need to be, so I was out of the kitchen and halfway across the lounge by the time the first 'clatter' started. Unfortunately I stepped in the biscuits first, so they went everywhere. Scared? Big Bad George? Nah, not me. Just cautious that's all. I'll get her back, I will, just you wait.
Tuesday 8 October ~ by Gemini
George was pretty pleased with himself yesterday, getting to lick the sardine bowl, but it was my turn tonight for the unexpected bonus. It was better than sardines too, I got to lick the custard pot! I sometimes wonder if we should return the favour, and invite the folks to lick what's left in our bowls, but then again if they fancied our food, I'm sure they'd just open a fresh packet. Me and George had a grooming session on the stairs later, and we got 'snapped' in the act as you can see. I know it looks as though I'm just about to bite George's ear off, but I wasn't, honest! I'd been giving his head a good going over when a big yawn crept up on me and took me by surprise.
Monday 7 October ~ by George
Our folks never learn. Every winter they do the same thing, and this year appears to be no exception. They hang these basket things on the washing line and fill them with nuts (their secret winter nut store), but every year the bird bandits come along and nick them all! They're very sneaky about it too, they only nick them little bits at a time, so no-one notices. But I notice! Am I the only one around here who can see what's going on? The best I can do is to accompany the folks when they go to fill the baskets up, and I can honestly say there's not a bird in sight when Big Bad George is their armed guard (armed with very sharp claws and a degree in leaping). I can't keep watch all the time though, so I'm afraid until the folks wake up and smell the coffee these little feathered fiends will carry on getting away with it. That's unlikely though, I think they only drink tea. Oh, I nearly forgot, I got to lick the sardine bowl tonight, yum!
Sunday 6 October ~ by Gemini
I've just read George's diary from yesterday, and nearly split my sides laughing. I haven't got the heart to tell him about parallel George, that would be far too mean, so I'll just humour him instead. Anyway, I love him the way he is, daft as a brush. I also love George's enthusiasm for playing impromptu games, although I must admit I'm not always in the mood for them. Today was great fun though, we were 'helping' change the bed linen, and I plonked myself right in the middle and ended up with a fitted sheet being fitted over me! George was on the windowsill, and quickly spotted that the big lump under the sheet (me) needed pouncing on. I couldn't see his flying leap from where I was, but I sure felt him land! So I did burrowing and he did pouncing, and the making of the bed was forgotten I'm afraid. When I eventually emerged, the folks had given up and left us to it. Yes, they've definitely got their priorities right!
Saturday 5 October ~ by George
It's been a cold, windy yucky day outside today, so I decided to catch up with some old friends instead of going out on the prowl. My mate the printer in the office was purring away. I say purr, but it's more of a chug, still I'm certain it's his best shot at a purr, so I stood on top of him and purred back. Then I spotted my parallel cat (the one who lives in the parallel office through the mirror). He's great, the parallel George, always there to meet me, never fails. Today was different though, one of the folks had the camera and took this picture of us. So this is the first ever published picture of George from the parallel universe, just to prove to everyone that I wasn't making him up!
Friday 4 October ~ by Gemini
Just when I thought we'd tried every different kind of cat food there is to try, up pops a new one. I can't give away the brand (but if any discerning cats out there want to know, send me an email), but it was dee-licious! I sometimes give the imression that I just like all food, full stop, and will eat anything, but that's not strictly true. I'm fussy about the quality, and if it's not to a certain standard I'll make a point of leaving some in the bowl, giving a definite message of displeasure. When I first came here after being rescued, I used to eat anything and everything that was put in front of me, just in case there wouldn't be any more, but I soon learnt. George was the same whe he first arrived, so I taught him all I knew about 'holding out for the good stuff'. He was quick to learn my little tricks, and now he's even fussier than me!
Thursday 3 October ~ by George
Most of the time I'm very happy being Big Bad George and doing Big, Bad, Tough, Streetwise things, but sometimes it's nice just to be little Georgie-Porgie, and getting all the fuss off the folks like when I was tiny. I'd been Tough and Streetwise all day, so this evening I had some 'being Georgie-Porgie' time. Gemini was upstairs crashed out on the bed, so I took full advantage and plonked myself down between the 'fuss-machines' on the sofa. Due to my magnificent length when stretched out, I can quite happily be fussed by two people at once and still have body to spare. I turned my purrs up loud to encourage them (not that they need much encouraging), and when off into one of my little fantasy lands, (you know, the ones filled with very slow pigeons, dishes of prawns and lots of muck to roll in). I appreciate their displays of affection of course, but I just wish they wouldn't call me 'sausage'!
Wednesday 2 October ~ by Gemini
The strange and noisy structure is still going up in Sooty Cat's garden. I spent a while on the garage today watching the proceedings, and I'm guessing it'll grow up to be either a small summer house or a big shed. Either way it's going to make walking along his fence very difficult, it's right smack bang in the way. Me and George like to use that route to get to the 'strange garden' next door to Sooty's, so I'm a bit put out that they didn't consult us first. Whatever happened to planning permission? This one's all planning and no permission. If our folks ever decide to have something like that, I trust we'd be on the working party. With less emphasis on the 'working' and more on the 'party' naturally!
Tuesday 1 October ~ by George
Why is it every time I get a little scrape or cut or scab, the folks make such a big deal out of it. They insist on grabbing hold of me to inspect it, then they debate it for a bit, and more often than not out comes the cotton wool and salt water. I get this treatment more than Gemini just because I'm white, and any scabby or bloody bits show up more on me. It's about time they realised I'm a cat, and it's just a hazard of the job! Being George involves stalking through the undergrowth, squeezing between prickly bushes, crawling under next door's decking, leaping up high fences (and down again), and that's just before breakfast! Alright, I'll admit that the streak of blood down the side of my face this morning might have looked nasty to the untrained eye, but it was smeared out of all proportion, that's all. And no, it does not warrant a trip to the vets. Gemini says they fuss because they love me. Yeah? Oh, alright then, I'll let them off. But no vets, d'you hear me?
Monday 30 September ~ by Gemini
Something very strange and noisy is going on down in Sooty Cat's garden. He came up here to keep out of the way of it all. He said they'd had a great pile of wood delivered a few days ago, and now it was all in his garden, and his folks were out there making lots of noise with it. I had heard lots of banging coming from that direction, but hadn't taken a lot of notice until then. I do like to keep abreast of what's happening in my neighbourhood, (alright, so I'm just nosey, I'll admit it!) and the best place to do that from is on the top of our garage. So up we went, and sat, and watched. They're definitely building something, although quite what isn't exactly obvious yet. It'll be something strange and unnecessary no doubt. That's usually what humans do when they're bored, strange and unnecessary things. It makes me glad I'm a cat. With cats, boredom isn't something to be overcome, it's something to enjoy!
Sunday 29 September ~ by George
The folks must have had a brainstorm yesterday, they've done so much clearing up and pruning and tidying and stuff I thought I'd come back to the wrong garden! I mean, they don't do tidy! It won't last, I'd bet my last vole on it. I can only imagine the Queen must be coming to visit, yes I expect that's it. Or maybe someone really important like Charlie Dimmock. Talking of voles, what about that pigeon, result or what? Faaan-tastic. There's still loads more left in next door's tree, it's not like we've endangered the species or anything (you'd think we had, the way our folks went on about it). Now we know that's possible, maybe those seagulls aren't as safe at they thought they were. Hmmm, that'll need a special Big Bad George strategy methinks. The best catch of today was a prawn out of the salad. It was already cooked so it didn't put up much of a fight. I can't imagine prawns would be difficult to catch even in the wild, lets face it their legs are so tiny they'd never outrun me!
Saturday 28 September ~ by Gemini
I always like to help out when the folks are mucking around trying to do gardening, they'd be pretty useless without me to tell the truth. What then was I supposed to do today when one of them was 'doing' the back garden and the other 'doing' the front? I can't be in two places at once, I'm smart but not that smart! Very frustrating it was, I spent all morning having to nip back and forth through the garage trying to supervise both. I was totally exhausted by lunchtime and had to retire to the duvet for the rest of the afternoon. Heaven only knows where George got to, 'somewhere else' I expect, that's where he usually goes when there's work to do. The folks must have appreciated my efforts though, because they went out later and bought ice cream, (they know I'm partial to vanilla). Luckily I wasn't to exhausted for that!
Friday 27 September ~ by George
I was so excited about yesterday's pigeon, after all this time of waiting, longing, and dreaming, it finally happened. I just can't understand why the folks were so upset, I mean we even saved them a wing! Gemini's right, we'll have to keep quiet about who did the catching, or one of us will be under house arrest for sure. I was still in a hunting mood today, so I went out and got me a mouse to play with. I brought it into the kitchen and then let it go off for a run around. I know it couldn't go far, it wasn't tall enough to get out through the cat flap, so I had a good half hour's chase in mind. One of the folks saw where it ran and tried to corner it, but it was too quick for them, (what cheek! if they want a mouse to chase, they should jolly well find their own!). Nothing in the Universe is too quick for Big Bad George however, so I whizzed across the floor, swiped it up in my mouth and flew back out the flap before you could say Jack Robinson, (though why anyone would want to say that isn't clear). Cat and Mouse, the best game ever. Even better than Monopoly. Or Snap.
Thursday 26 September ~ by Gemini
Well, what a night we had last night, out on the prowl together, what a team! Going hunting together is a rare thing for us, so it was a good exercise in 'bonding'. I'm going to have to be a bit careful how I phrase this next bit, and any ornithologists would be advised not to read any further. Regular readers of our diary will know that George has wanted to catch a pigeon from next door's tree for as long as he's lived here (and that's all his life bar eight weeks) but has never succeeded. It's also fairly common knowledge that I can catch bigger and better things than him when I put my mind to it. So, in a nutshell, next door's tree now has one less pigeon in it than it did yesterday. However, due to the adverse reaction of our folks when they found the remains under the kitchen table this morning, we have decided not to tell who caught it, on the basis that if they don't know, they can't get mad at either of us!
Wednesday 25 September ~ by George
Does the whole world get colder at this time of year or is it just our road? Either way it's getting a little too chilly for my liking, at least too chilly to stand still, so I don't. Luckily it's also the time of year when the leaves start to fall off next doors tree, which gives me a perfect excuse to go nuts and chase them round the garden. Maybe someone designed it that way, which is brilliantly clever when you think about it. I mean, if leaves fell off trees in the middle of summer it would be too hot to chase them, so they'd have fallen off for no reason at all. And if they didn't fall off now when it's colder, there'd be nothing to chase would there? Whoever invented trees really had their act together. It's a shame they didn't invent pigeons too, so that they all fell off their trees in the autumn. Now that really would make my day!
Tuesday 24 September ~ by Gemini
Since we came back from the cattery I've been re-discovering all my favourite home comforts, both here at home, and next door. I think the next door folks missed me as much as our folks, they made such a fuss of me when I went to visit today. I do sometimes nip up for a quick forty winks on their bed if the mood takes me, they don't seem to mind. Anyway, back home I spent a little time on my favourite stair, a while on the folks bed, even a short spell in the jumper cupboard (I know summer is definitely over when I choose the jumper cupboard!). The warmest and best spot though is on the still-warm cooker top, as you can see. Aren't I simply exquisite?
Monday 23 September ~ by George
Oh it's good to be back, I haven't caught a pigeon yet and I don't care, I'm just happy to be home. I don't even care today if the folks (one in particular) keep on wanting to pick me up and fuss me like I was a girl. I've even been happy for them to pick those black bits out of my nose. Oh, maybe I shouldn't have said that. Was that too disgusting? Surely it's not just me who gets black bits? Never mind, today I don't care if I'm the only cat in the world with black bits, because I've invented a new game! It's called 'Washing Squashing' and it can only be played when there's heaps of washing on the kitchen floor like today. All you do is leap off the worktop into the pile, 'Phlummppp!' see? The game can also be improved by then burrowing into the pile like a mole, but the best bit is definitely the 'Phlummppp!' bit. I'm best at that, leaping and Phlummppping, almost olympic standard I'd say!
Sunday 22 September ~ by Gemini
I hope I'll be forgiven for doing a very brief diary entry today. As it's our first full day back, I don't intend sitting still for very long, or staying indoors for that matter. There's the pond to patrol, two gardens to check for smells, frogs to count, and lots of re-establishing of territory to be done. A lot can change in a week you know, and I need to get out there and tell the world I'm back in charge of the homestead. George is already out there sitting under next door's pigeon tree, still hoping. I know it's going to be a good day today, not just because we're home, but because I've been reliably informed that later on there's going to be custard!
Saturday 21 September ~ by George & Gemini
George's instinct was spot on, and whether it's called 'staying with Uncle Dave' or 'visiting Auntie Grizelda' or whatever other secret code name there might be, it amounts to the same thing, we were conned into a week at the cattery. Yes conned, duped and outsmarted we were. Luckily, the thought of being at the cattery is far worse than actually being there. This time we had one of our favourite runs, it's angled just right to get the last of the afternoon sun and only has neighbours on one side. There was a grumpy persian next door when we first arrived, moaning and whingeing that he shouldn't be there, that it was all some ghastly mistake, but thankfully he went home the next day. Things really looked up after that, when Pebbles and Bam Bam moved in to his run, they were a real hoot! Brother and sister, two years old, but still acting like eight-week-old kittens. They got top marks for entertainment value, and we got on famously. We think their folks might be in for a surprise though, after hearing about our little 'hobby', they're dead set on having their own website! Oh dear, what have we started?!
Friday 13 September ~ by George
Maybe I'm getting an instinct for these things, but I can definitely sense something's going on. I haven't spotted the cat basket yet, but the 'big bags' are out, and the folks are acting a little odd (yes, odder than normal). My girlfriend was telling me in an email recently that when her folks go away, they say she's going to stay with 'Uncle Dave', and that always turns out to be the cattery! And I thought our folks were sneaky! I'd never fall for that one, Uncle Dave indeed. That said, I seem to fall for some trick or other. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think so. I know, I'll go and check if the cat flap is locked up yet, that's always a telltale sign. One of these days I'll get tricked into the cat box right in the middle of writing a diary, can you imagine that! Oh...
Thursday 12 September ~ by Gemini
Unbelievably, our folks still haven't finished painting the window frames, (are all humans this slow?) so out came the paint tins and stepladder again today. Ho Hum never mind, at least it was sunny, so I was quite happy to do the supervising again. I wanted to keep my distance this time after my previous 'splattered' experience, so I chose the spot on the wall between us and next door, (that gets the sun all afternoon, I'm not daft). I'll admit I dozed off there until the next-door folks came home. They think I'm cute anyway, so finding me draped exquisitely over their wall was a real treat for them, and predictably I got fussed and then fussed some more. They went indoors muttering something about 'it's a cat's life', and yes, I suppose it is pretty perfect sometimes. No prawns though, so there's room for improvement.
Wednesday 11 September ~ by George
I really admire Marmaduke cat who lives up the road (and owns it). Not only is he very very wise, but he also commands a level of respect that I can only dream of. Our friend Man in Socks found this out today when he came to visit. He drives a car (Man in Socks, not Marmaduke), and he wanted to drive it up our road to our house, not unreasonably. Marmaduke however, was in his 'middle of the road' spot, and was not about to get up and move for something so trivial as a car. Man in Socks had to stop his car, get out and give him a stroke, then ask him very nicely if he would please move. He did move, only temporarily though, as soon as the car went past he went back to his spot, so Man in Socks had to do it all over again when he left! Marmaduke is just so cool. Re-spect! Reee-spect!
Tuesday 10 September ~ by Gemini
This morning I had an immediate intruder alert. As soon as I put my nose out the front door, I spotted a big brown furry bum underneath our tree, a massive clue to the fact that there's a big brown furry cat in there with it. I chased him off in two seconds flat of course. It made me realise how useless some cats are at camouflage. This one had definitely failed the Gemini course of advanced concealment. Not wishing to sound too immodest, but I am particularly good at blending into most backgrounds, only being observed when I wish to be. This does have the occasional drawback however, usually when I'm napping on the settee. I'm not even trying to be camouflaged, but my disguise is so good I get mistaken for a cushion and sat on! If George was this good, he'd have caught a pigeon by now!
Monday 9 September ~ by George
Nowhere else in the world can have had any rain today, because we had it all. It was that very thick rain too, not the skinny stuff, and we had oceans of it pouring into our garden nearly all day. When it finally did stop, I rushed out to do the necessary (I'd hung on for ages, I hate doing that in the rain), and couldn't believe my eyes when I saw our pond. The rain had filled it right up to the top, and it was overflowing onto the 'sunbathing slabs' at the end. Another inch and the fish could have gone swimming right across the lawn! I'd also like to use today's diary to ask a question, so I hope the folks take notice. Please tell me why, oh why, do they keep calling me 'Sausage'? I don't look remotely like any sausage I've ever seen, unless someone somewhere makes furry sausages with four legs and a tail, but that sounds a bit far fetched to me. I've got a number of very suitable, very cool and very appropriate names, but 'Sausage' is not one of them! Never has been, and never will be, do I make myself clear? Good. I feel better now.
Sunday 8 September ~ by Gemini
Is it just us, or do other 'pairs' of cats have eating routines like us? What I mean is, we get fed side by side, but we always choose the bowl on the same side each time. I take the bowl on the left, and George has the one on the right, every time, without fail. But what's to stop us eating the other way round I thought (swapping sides I mean, not eating with our backs to the bowls, that doesn't work at all). We tried swapping sides once, but it just didn't feel right somehow, I can't explain why. It's the same when we curl up on the duvet, I always go at the end nearest the wall, and George furthest away. Why is this? It must be the same thing that makes humans sleep on the same side of the bed. There must be some scientific reason for these things, maybe to do with the Moon or something. If anyone knows, drop me an email!
Saturday 7 September ~ by George
It seems like years since it's rained properly, so it was all quite exciting when it poured down all morning. I thought the best way to enjoy it was to keep going out, then coming in again, shaking myself all over the folks, getting the 'Big Towel' treatment and then repeating the whole thing over again. After my soggy, squelchy, muddy sort of a morning I had a mucky, soggy, froggy afternoon, helping the folks shift the garden bags. These mucky bags of garden stuff have needed shifting for ages, and I've been waiting for this moment, because there's frogs living behind them! Actually I think they might be toads, they're a bit wide for your regular frog, but I'm not fussy. Frogs, toads, they all hop the same when they're being chased by Big Bad George. Do I catch them? No way! They taste disgusting!
Friday 6 September ~ by Gemini
George always goes on about his techno-skills when he does things like play the messages on the answerphone, or pause (paws?) the video, well today was my turn. I was doing my daily ritual of walking back and forth along the desk, in front of the computer when I stepped on the keyboard and hit the exact key combination that turns the volume up! I actually didn't realise how clever I'd been, and the folks didn't realise quite how loud the volume could go, so they had a bit of a shock to say the least! If they gave me and George just another few lessons, I'm sure we could operate the thing entirely by ourselves. It's hardly rocket science after all. Or quantum physics, as George has so rightly pointed out. The only human skill I'd really like to learn is how to open the cat-food cupboard. We're still working on that one.
Thursday 5 September ~ by George
Do you know what an amanuensis is? Neither did I until recently, but my 'girlfriend' mentioned hers in an email to me (she's soooo smart!), so I had to find out. I've now put it in my little book of big and impressive words, alongside extraterrestrial and Wensleydale. I still prefer small words like fish, frogs and mice, but you never know when you might need a big impressive word, do you? Gemini was more impressed by the fact that my girlfriend is a TFT like her (Top Fighting Tabby), and that she's got a history of seeing off the local bullies. It's probably a good job she lives miles away, there's only room for one TFT in every road. Lucky for me there only seems to be room for one Big Bad George too. Apart from my parallel George of course, but he's only in a parallel road so that doesn't count.
Wednesday 4 September ~ by Gemini
It's been gloriously sunny all day today, the sort of day when all sensible cats (are there any other sort?) laze in the shade or chill out under trees. Even George thought this was the best plan today, so we chilled out together under our front tree. Humans it seems, aren't as sensible as cats and one of ours decided to start painting the window frames (yes the same ones they scraped all the paint off the other day!). We watched their activities from our under-tree snooze spot, and made the odd 'you missed a bit' comment just to be helpful, but it really was too hot to watch all that work. I must admit I fell asleep before they got to the windowsill, well let's be honest it's hardly top-flight entertainment is it? It's more like watching paint dry. In fact, it was exactly like watching paint dry!
Tuesday 3 September ~ by George
Good news! I think the pink pills have worked, and my harvest mite scabs are nearly gone, which means I don't have to go back to the vets, yippee! I helped the last of the scabs off with a good scratch, as you can see, and with such an elegant technique too. Scratching is an art form you know, I mean you don't just do it. No no, scratching with style has to be practised and improved, then practised again and perfected. You have to go in at the right angle for a start, then there's the amount of pressure you apply, see? It's maths, physics and biology all rolled into one. And you thought I was daft didn't you? They don't call me Professor George for nothing!
Monday 2 September ~ by Gemini
I always like to be helpful as you know, so today I offered my supervisory skills to help with some painting. I don't actually do the painting you understand, but I'm good at the 'look you missed a bit' bit. One of the folks was painting the garage door (about time), a task that should never be undertaken without the expert advice of a worldly-wise cat such as myself. I hadn't bargained for being splattered with green paint though, that wasn't in my brief at all, and being attacked with soapy water to get it off was definitely not in my contract! I retired upstairs for the rest of the day to get over my ordeal. Luckily, I woke up in time to enjoy the sky this evening, which was bright pinky-red, quite spectacular. I've heard it said that red sky at night means shepherds pie. Something like that anyway.
Sunday 1 September ~ by George
Our folks went a bit loopy today, they took in into their heads to start scraping the paint off the window frames. Up ladders and everything they were, how potty is that? Now I don't claim to have the best memory in the universe but I'm sure they only put that paint on a few years ago, and now they've changed their minds and want to take it all off again! Humans honestly, no logic whatsoever. It gave me a good excuse to climb one of the ladders though, that was a bit exciting. I've been on the kitchen roof before of course, but never that way. There's loads of muck up there too, so I had a good roll in it, like you do. In fact the best bits of today involved rolling in muck. I really think that on a nice sunny day like today, the folks should have abandoned their paint scraping and just come and rolled in the muck with me, it's loads more fun. Surely that's what life's for, having fun, making a racket and rolling in the muck. Yep, I'm sure of it.
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