Sunday 31st May - by Tangle & Gemini
 Tangle: Can I come out then? Can I?
Gemini: Well of course you can. You come in and out all the time don't you, collecting up all those blasted leaves!
Tangle: No, I mean can I come out right now.... you know... while you're there.
Gemini: Ah, I see. Well now, I'm not really sure. I'd say you probably could come out. I mean, I can't see any technical reason why you wouldn't be able to. Let's face it, you're practically a quarter of the way out already.
Tangle: No, I know, but... what about that comfort zone you were telling me about? I mean, what happens if the other three-quarters of me comes out and some of me accidentally goes inside your comfort zone, what then?
Gemini: Hmm, I see what you mean. Glad to hear you were paying attention anyway. Well now, I would say that seeing as I'm outside, and it's sunny, and I've just eaten, and seeing as I'm laying down and pointing due South, then on balance I reckon you'll be safe as long as you keep moving, don't come any closer than is absolutely necessary, and definitely don't noozle me like the other day!
Tangle: But noozles are great! The folks both love my noozles! Maybe if I just gave you a quick noozle, just a little one...
Gemini: No... no noozling! Oh look, Tangle, just come outside will you, and go and get your leaf before it blows away. I'll forget about my comfort zone if you forget about wanting to give me noozles... OK?
Tangle: Thanks Gemini! OK leaves... here I come... ready or not! You don't know what you're missing with no noozles though...
Friday 29th May - by Gemini
Oh, now that's interesting. Without me even asking, Tangle has started helping me with garden patrol. Now I'll admit she can get a bit annoying sometimes when she follows me around, but this is rather handy - she does one half of the garden, I do the other, and then we both get more time for lounging around! Well... to be more precise, I get more time for lounging around, and Tangle gets more time for running up and down the path for no obvious reason, more time to treat the catflap like a novelty fairground ride, and more time to go dragging a steady stream of leaves indoors for the delight (her description, not theirs) of the folks. One has to give her full marks for enthusiasm, I suppose. But, despite her growing confidence she still hasn't got the hang of new people. Just the sound of an unfamiliar voice is enough to send her running for cover in one of her can't-get-me-now places, like behind the office desk, or under the spare bed, or her latest hidey-hole behind the sofa (where she spent a full hour and a half today whilst we had a very nice lady visitor round). I really must give Tangle a lesson in basic common sense. I mean, common sense tells me the time to hide in your can't-get-me-now place is not when we have unfamiliar visitors round (after all, even unfamiliar visitors might have prawns in their pockets), the time to hide in your can't-get-me-now place is when you see a cat-box!
 Wednesday 27th May - by Tangle
I caught a moth! I caught a moth! All on my own too, a great big one, so I took it inside for the folks. I know how pleased they are when I bring them leaves, so I knew they'd be over the moon with my moth. Except that they weren't, very. Turns out our human of the female variety is scared of moths. How can you be scared of moths? At least Gemini was impressed. She said when she was my age there was one summer where there were just hundreds of big red butterflies, and she took loads of them in the house. Only our female human's scared of those too, so she had to stick bowls and buckets and saucepans over them until our human of the male variety came along to put them back out again. Gemini said one day she caught so many that there weren't enough bowls, buckets and saucepans to go round, (I think she was daring me to try to beat her record). Anyway, I'm having to do lots more clearing up in the garden since the weekend. The folks are as untidy as Gemini. They chopped these big tall reedy things down in the pond and then just left them out on the bank! I can't have that, I like a tidy garden. So I'm having to bring all those indoors now, as well as the ordinary leaves. I can only manage one at a time though (they need playing with a bit too), so at this rate it'll take me weeks to bring them all in. I'll do my best though.
Monday 25th May - by Gemini & Tangle
Gemini: Oh? Oh really? Old Biddy am I? I'll have you know young Tangle Cat, that (a) I have all my own teeth and all my own marbles, (b) I can beat you at Da Bird any day of the week, and (c) I can still get over that fence you wimped out of tackling yesterday, so I'd be careful who you're calling an Old Biddy if I were you!
Tangle: I didn't do it! Wasn't me! I never said that!
Gemini: Oh come off it, I know jolly well you did. I heard the folks going over the shopping list before they went off to the cat-food shop earlier. It said, and I quote: "Young Cat Biscuits (as opposed to Old Biddies Biscuits) as requested by Tangle", and I don't think they'd just make something like that up, do you?
Tangle: Errr... well, no, but I umm... no listen, I didn't mean it like that! I wasn't calling you an Old Biddy, I just meant the biscuits we have are Old Biddies Biscuits, that's all, honest! You can have some of my new Young Cat Biscuits if you like... oh, you already have!
Gemini: Of course I have. Being Top Cat gives me certain rights and privileges you know, one of which is sampling any new food first. They're jolly scrummy as it happens.
Tangle: So... what happens if you eat my Young Cat Biscuits and I eat your Old Biddies Biscuits then? Will you get younger and I'll get older?
Gemini: Well, I'm afraid you'll get older whichever biscuits you eat. And I shall eat whichever biscuits I like, and carry on being as young as I feel.
Tangle: Right... errr, yeah, that's good then. I think. Can we play shoelaces now?
Sunday 24th May - by Tangle
 I thought my adventure in the bushes out the front the other day was great, but today I went even further, and discovered something amazing. What I discovered was if I jump on the outside-cat-box under the bushes I can get on the wall, and if I jump down the other side of the wall I land in the secret alleyway! It's not big enough for people, it's a cats-only alleyway, and it goes along the side of our house and ends up by the big fence - our big fence, the same one that goes along the side of the back garden. So the secret alleyway means you can get to the back from the front without going through the house! And I nearly did too... only the fence was too high for me (well, I've only got little legs). So I sat there and miaowed instead. I'm good at miaowing, I do it every time I bring a new leaf indoors (so I get lots of practise). The folks know my miaow now, so they came out to see where I was (I was over the fence), and they know I've only got little legs, so they lifted up the fence panel so I could nip in underneath. Gemini reckons that was cheating, going under the fence, but she's bigger than me, and anyway it was my first time, I'd never met that fence from the wrong side before! I also found out how our house joins up to next door's too, but that's easy, it's just a wall. And even with my little legs, I can get up there, easy (see, that's me on the wall). And I brought some more leaves in tonight! I nearly brought a stick in too, but sticks don't go through catflaps, not sideways anyway.
Friday 22nd May - by Gemini
It's funny, but I feel all Big since Tangle arrived. I haven't felt Big since George's days. The truth is I'm not particularly big, but Colonel Beau was exceedingly big and Pickford wasn't far off, so I've got used to being the smallest for the last few years, and now all of a sudden I'm the biggest again. Tangle just looks so dainty and delicate somehow. She's still a mischievous little monkey though, even with her dainty head, her delicate paws and her curiously tiny tail. Mind you, there's more to tiny Tangle than meets the eye, I heard the folks say she'd had kittens before she was at the rescue. Honestly... kittens... I mean, eeuuurghhh, what a horrible thought! Still, the good news today is the folks got the results of my 'Senior' well-cat blood tests, and as I suspected, my blood (like the rest of me) is thoroughly perfect! That's all very well of course, but who is it who's now got to grow back a vast expanse of top tabby fur, practically the size of a football pitch? Hmm? The folks surely have a duty to assist, seeing as this was all their doing. Now... I heard somewhere that tabby fur-growth could be rapidly accelerated by eating more prawns. A minimum of three times a week for at least a month, if my memory serves. Or, was that four times a week..?
Thursday 21st May - by Tangle
I've done it! I've been out the front! Well, it was sunny, and the folks were out there and so was Gemini, so it had to be safe. Gemini sat on the path so I sat on the path too, only that turned out to be a bit boring so I went off to investigate under the big bushes and trees instead. It's great in there, like a real jungle, and I found a box! A box right at the back, by the wall - a box with a cat-bed in it, (a bit like my safe-place box under the spare bed, only under trees). Gemini told me later there's a white cat who goes in there sometimes, well she wasn't in there today. But anyway, after I found the box I nipped back out of the bushes again just to check the folks and Gemini were still there. They were, so I nipped back in again... and then out again... and they were still there so I nipped back in for a proper explore. I think I explored a bit too long though because after a while one of the folks came down to the edge of the jungle and started calling for me. Well I didn't come out straight away, but then Gemini came over looking for me too, so I nipped out quick. And then Gemini bopped me round the ear and told me off for worrying everyone! Anyone would think she was my mum! That was my best adventure yet (the jungle, not getting bopped round the ear). I felt like a proper explorer, bold and brave, discovering new frontiers and all that. (I'm glad the front door was still open when I got back though.)
 Tuesday 19th May - by Gemini
Yes well, I can see I'm going to have my work cut out keeping young Tangle in check. I suppose it's good that she's coming out of her shell, and getting more confident and all that, but she needs to learn the subtle difference between being a confident cat, and being a mischievous little monkey who's taking far too many liberties than is good for her! Do you know yesterday she came right up to me and touched noses - her nose to my nose - just like that! Well of course I bopped her with my paw (boundaries you see, she needs to learn boundaries), only instead of learning boundaries she bopped me back! Hmmm, see what I mean? Then today, there I was relaxing on the folk's bed when along comes Madam (following me as usual), and naturally she decided she'd like to be on the bed too. Well that's fine, the bed's big enough that we can both go on opposite corners and not invade each others' comfort zones... however it seems Tangle hasn't learned about comfort zones yet either, and jumped right on my corner! It's just as well I have my brand new posh-as-a-posh-thing fleecy bed to escape to (yes I have finally agreed to use it, just when the folks thought I was never going to, so perfect timing I think you'll agree). As you can see it's perfectly Gemini-shaped, and definitely no room for any mischievous Tangle-shaped little monkeys!
Sunday 17th May - by Tangle (The Great Leaf Warrior)
Our folks must be so pleased they got me, their garden's never been so tidy! Gemini doesn't tidy it. If it was left up to her, those leaves would stay out there, all over the grass, making a right old mess! Well I like to have a tidy garden, not with leaves everywhere. So I collect them up and bring them in through the catflap. One by one. I wait 'til after dark so they can't see me coming, then I go out and pounce on them and tidy them up. I know the folks are pleased because they keep fussing me and telling me how clever I am. They were ever so pleased last night, they'd gone out and when they came back I'd tidied up loads of leaves for them. I'd put some in the kitchen, some in the hall and a few upstairs too. I got a really big fuss for tidying that lot up! The only problem is the slugs. Well I can't help that, these little black slugs just seem to be stuck to the leaves, so they have to come indoors too. And even I know slugs don't belong indoors. The folks scoop them up on bits of paper and put them out in the front garden. I haven't been out the front yet, but when I do I just know it'll be covered in slugs. I won't tidy them up though, they taste disgusting!
Friday 15th May - by Gemini
Oh, the indignity of it! The sheer audacity, the cheek of them.. of the folks... of the vets... of all of them! I'd quite forgotten about this so-called 'Senior' well-cat checkup business, so it was a big shock when I got whisked off to the vets today. Now I don't mind too much about the usual ears-eyes-teeth-and-tum check, and I can even put up with the thermometer (provided they ask nicely and don't take too long about it), but what I wasn't prepared for was that this time, as part of this 'Senior' nonsense, they wanted my blood! And furthermore they wanted to shave off a not insubstantial portion of my gorgeous tabby bib to get at it. It was, as the late Colonel Beau would have said, an outrage. So now I have an unsightly great oblong gap in my fur, and a distinct deficit in the blood department - I swear they took nearly a pawful! The only good thing to come out of my ordeal was finding out that my diet has been a success. Nine months I've been on short rations, nine months of less-snacks-than-normal, nine months of sheer hardship... well OK, not exactly hardship, but anyway, wait for this... I've lost 900 grams... that's nearly a kilo! And actually, seeing as they weighed me first, before all this 'Senior' business, I expect I've lost a full kilo now if you count my paw-ful of blood. Apparently human blood donors get tea and biscuits after, so umm... where were my treats then? As the late Colonel would have said, Hrrrmph!
Thursday 14th May - by Tangle
 Chicken... washing basket... frog. No, no, that's not right. Washing basket... chicken... frog, that's more like it! Those were all my most exciting things of today in order of excitingness. The washing basket definitely came top, mind you it wouldn't have been exciting at all if it hadn't been for the shoelace being waggled around inside it by one of the folks. The great thing about our washing basket is the holes round the sides - they're just big enough to stick my paws through. Swatting a shoelace through the holes in the washing basket is almost as good as rolling in the dirt on the patio (I would have done that too, only it was raining). Then we had proper chicken again, and guess what - I can eat downstairs now! I've got my own feeding place too, by the cupboard, just round the corner from Gemini's feeding place. I thought she might get the hump about that, but luckily Gemini can't get the hump and eat at the same time. And then - well, then there was the frog. It just jumped out right in front of me! It made me jump too, so I jumped, then it jumped again, and so I chased it under the bushes. They're good fun frogs, but not as good as shoelaces in washing baskets. Oh yeah, look, here's me and Gemini on the armchair, being bookends! There's usually a human in the middle, but they were taking the photo, and anyway our folks aren't allowed to have their photos on the diary. Public health and safety reasons, Gemini says.
Tuesday 12th May - by Gemini
No! Not prawns! Please not prawns! I don't believe it, Tangle turned her nose up at prawns the other week, and today she just sat there and ate them! With no consideration for me whatsover, even after I'd kindly agreed to eat any of her spare prawns (being the helpful cat that I am), she suddenly changes her mind and decides that there won't in fact, be any spare prawns. My only hope is that perhaps, like Pickford, she is picky about the sort of prawns she'll eat and then I may have a 50/50 chance. It's a good job the folks went off to a Cat Chat committee meeting tonight, otherwise I'd have had no 'extras' at all. As it turned out, my 'extra' was half a crunchy all-butter biscuit (not suitable for those with a nut allergy), which were on buy-one-get-one-free at the Co-op. I preferred it when they used to meet here to be honest. Not only did I get lots of extra fuss and admiration, I also got first pick of the snacks, but these days I'm at the mercy of what's left over (request to the folks: can you save me some of those cheese puff things next time please?). Oh yes - I nearly forgot - not only did young Tangle eat my... err, I mean her prawns (the ones I would have got if there were any justice in this world), but this morning she had the bare-faced cheek to use my litter tray! That I think, confirms my early suspicions that she might possibly be as fearless as me. Just as well Top Tabby ranks higher than a Tiddler of a Tortie!
Saturday 9th / Sunday 10th May - Tangle's Bravest Weekend So Far - by Tangle
 OK, that's it... I've done it... I've gone outside! And I mean properly outside, in the daytime, with Gemini and the folks. Outside with all the exciting things like birds and butterflies and compost sacks and big tall weeds and bees and leaves and broken flowerpots, and all the things I've seen from the upstairs window. And I went in the garage too. I can't believe how brave I was going in there. It's full of all this stuff, so it looked exciting and scary all at the same time, but I went in anyway. It was really good until I walked into a spider's web and got it all tangled up in my whiskers. That wasn't too clever. It made my whiskers go all curly where they were covered in web and bits of mucky spidery stuff, and the folks had to come and clean it off. I've been right down the bottom of the garden too (and back) twice. Our outside's full of birds, flying over all the time they are, and sitting on the fence and in the trees too. I'm sure I could catch one, but Gemini said I mustn't, so I haven't (well not yet anyway). But my favourite bit was going rolling! The patio steps are great for rolling, all dirty and dusty and warm in the sun. Rolling in the dirt on a warm patio is just the best thing ever! I was even brave enough to do it while Gemini was watching, how about that?
Friday 8th May - by Gemini
Ah good! Finally it looks like Tangle is starting to operate on the same time zone as the rest of us. Up until the last couple of nights she appears to have been on a 12-hour time difference, sleeping most of the day (even more than me), and playing (noisily) most of the night. Just like a cat is supposed to, you might say, well not in this house! I was beginning to think the folks had rescued her from somewhere in Australia. They can't have though, or she'd probably have been called Sheila and would have arrived with a little in-flight bag containing a tiny toothbrush, earplugs and a pair of socks. Mind you, the earplugs might have come in handy for me, when she was clattering round upstairs at three in the morning. Anyway, thankfully she is at last coming round to our way of doing things. Well mostly, anyway. I still have to keep reminding her that our way of doing things does not include following me around and then sneaking up behind me to sniff my bottom. I wish she wouldn't do that!
Thursday 7th May - by Tangle (getting braver)
I don't know if this is interesting enough for a diary, but me and my tummy found it very interesting indeed - we got chicken! Not cat-food-chicken, this was real chicken. Real chicken in my bowl, a whole dinner-full, all for me! Well, Gemini had some in her bowl too. She said I wouldn't like it. She said because I didn't like real fish or real prawns that I wouldn't like real chicken either, (I think she was hoping to put me off it so she could have it all herself). I may be young and new here, and I don't want to get on the wrong side of her or anything, but she's not having my chicken! Things are happening so fast here, I'm finding out new things every day (like how you can't run fast on the downstairs floor, especially not round corners), and I'm discovering new places every day too (like the clever little gap between the sofa and the armchair that you can run out of and attack the rug without it seeing you coming). So many new things I can't keep up with myself sometimes! I've never been anywhere like this before. The folks seem to let Gemini do whatever she wants... and go wherever she wants... whenever she wants... and I'm beginning to wonder if they might let me do that too..?
Wednesday 6th May - by Gemini
I've seen some strange feline habits in my time (mainly the late Colonel Beau's habits it has to be said), but this is a first. For some hitherto unknown reason Tangle has taken to collecting catnip sacks. Pickford used to love playing with them, chewing them, throwing them up in the air and wrestling with them, but Tangle... well, she appears to like hoarding them! Yesterday morning I went upstairs to find a neat and very deliberately placed pile of four catnip sacks arranged in the doorway to her room. There would have been five I'm sure, but I happen to know the fifth sack is wedged behind one of our human of the male variety's boots in the hall, so I think she just hasn't discovered that one yet. What a curious little thing she is! I've also come to the conclusion that she only has two settings, you know... two speeds: 'top' or 'stop', and nothing in between. She's either haring around like a kitten fitted with Duracell batteries, or she's totally crashed out either in her box-bed-under-the-spare-bed or in my bed-under-the-radiator (on a brave day). So am I bothered about her stealing my bed? Well no, not really, especially not since the folks bought me a brand new posh-as-a-posh-thing fleecy bed yesterday. It's a glorious thing - deep-cushioned, high-sided luxury in fact. Naturally I haven't used it yet, well one wouldn't, would one? No, I shan't use that for a while, I mean.... that's just what they want me to do, isn't it?
Monday 4th May - by Tangle (on a Brave Day)
 I didn't think I'd ever have anything interesting enough to put in this diary, but today I've got lots of things all at once! First there was the hoover. I didn't get close while it was moving, but I did when it stopped, and do you know what? Hoovers can't do anything without a human on the end. Hoovers don't scare me! Then a strange man with a box turned up. Now if he'd turned up last week I'd have hid in my box-bed-under-the-spare-bed 'til he went (that's my safe place, no-one can get me there), but this week I can sit at the top of the stairs and watch things. Men with boxes don't scare me! Then things got really interesting. One of the Folks (Gemini said I can call them that now I'm part of the family) started a game of shoelaces with me, and Gemini joined in! She's still pretty good with a shoelace for an old bird (can I say that?), in fact the only time I've seen her move that quick was when she came in my room to steal my coley fish. I would say Gemini doesn't scare me, but that'd be asking for trouble. And then I realised I hadn't been back in my box-bed-under-the-spare-bed all day, so I knew I was having a Brave Day. So then I got really brave and went in Gemini's bed-under-the-radiator again - in broad daylight! So then Gemini came along... and went in the other box-bed (I think that one was meant for me), and she didn't growl or anything! So that's when I knew I had something interesting to say, and this is it, my first proper diary!
Sunday 3rd May - by Gemini
You know, it's a shame Colonel Beau isn't still around to witness Tangle's progress, he'd have been mightily impressed with her. For a start she has diligently continued with her early morning circuit training around the upstairs, just like he used to. She's every bit as noisy as he was too, despite being barely half his size. But as it turns out, she's also rather good at shredding things, (another of the late Colonel's skills) most notably the side of the blanket box and the base of the folk's bed. During the Colonel's years here, he made a pretty respectable start on shredding that blanket box, and now young Tangle has taken up the challenge of finishing the job. She's already got through the last bit of upholstery, and is down to the wood... sorry, I mean down the the chipboard. And as for the folk's bed, I really don't rate it's chances of survival very highly at all. As I said, Beau would have been mightily impressed! I'm rather warming to the kid in some ways, I mean she's turning out to be a lot braver than anyone thought. She's not afraid to stand her ground in the face of one of my 'Special Glares' either - Special Glares, I'm proud to say, that would send a lesser cat running. I suppose she reminds me a little of myself in my youth... well, except that she's not quite as gorgeous, naturally. And another little Tanglefoot bonus... turns out she doesn't like prawns - result!
Friday 1st May - by Tangle (sort of)
I umm... well, I don't exactly know, err... you know, what I mean is, I'm not sure how... look, I'm new here, and I've never done a diary before! Gemini said it was about time I did a diary on my own, and then she went off out in the garden and left me to it! I wish I could go out in the garden. It looks great out there, I've seen it from the windowsill. I know I could go out there in theory, I can work a cat-flap, only... when I've tried to go outside, there always seems to be something noisy and scary going on. Like pigeons, or seagulls, or lawn mowers. No, but listen... I'm not a scaredy-cat, honest I'm not, not really, not inside! I've been up on the desk, I've been on nearly all the windowsills, I've been on the sofa, and I've even been in Gemini's bed-under-the-radiator (while she wasn't looking), so I'm really, really not a scaredy cat! Only I'm not brave enough to do a diary on my own. That's scarier than pigeons. Even scarier than lawn mowers, and definitely scarier than pigeons with lawn mowers. So I'm just going to hide behind the curtains until it's all over, that's what I'll do. I'm not afraid of curtains. Not even when I get my claws caught up in them, and one of the nice people has to come and untangle me.
Wednesday 29th April - by Tangle & Gemini
Tangle: I thought I was going back! ...they wouldn't make me go back, would they?
Gemini: Go back? What to the rescue? No of course not, don't be silly, you're part of the family now. What on earth made you think you were going back?
Tangle: Well, they put me in a cat-box. I thought it was going to be like what happened before. My first people didn't want me, so I got put in a cat-box and taken to the rescue. Then, a few months ago, I got taken to this other house to live, only a couple of days later those people put me in a cat-box too, and took me back to the rescue. They didn't want me either. I never knew why. So today I thought that was it - I thought I was going back again.
 Gemini: Tangle, that's awful! Well that won't happen again, not now... not ever! So... I know you went to the vets today, I could smell that much, but what did you have to go there for?
Tangle: Erm, well, I'm not sure really, it all happened so quick. The vet poked a thing in my neck, and then he waved a wand and it went 'bleep!'
Gemini: 'Bleep?'
Tangle: Yeah, 'bleep!', definitely 'bleep!'
Gemini: Hmmmm.... oh I know! You've been microchipped!
Tangle: Have I? What's that mean then?
Gemini: That means you're definitely not going back to the rescue, that's what that means!
Tangle: Oh that's good! Can we play shoelaces now?
Tuesday 28th April - by Gemini
Well give her her due, Tangle almost had something interesting to put in a diary today. It would probably have been very interesting in fact, had it not been for Pigeon Man's pigeons. She's been getting increasingly interested in the catflap over the last couple of days, and this morning, while the folks were outside having breakfast and I was outside supervising (and sunbathing), Tangle decided to get her brave head on and join us. Well, she would have... except the second she set foot outside, a whole pack of Pigeon Man's pigeons chose that very moment to perform a close-formation, low-level fly-past of the Cat Chat base. Poor Tangle. If you've never been in the flight path of fifty or so racing pigeons, believe me, the noise can be quite disconcerting if you're not used to it. So this morning, Tangle beat a hasty retreat back through the flap. Pigeons: one, Tangle: nil. Heh heh heh!
Monday 27th April - by Gemini & Tangle
 Gemini: Err... excuse me young Tangle, I do belive that's my collar you're wearing! My best Kitty Collar in fact! Look, it says 'Gemini' on it, plain as day. So what've you got to say for yourself?
Tangle: I didn't do it! Wasn't me! They put it on me! ...can we play shoelaces now?
Gemini: Shoelaces..? You've had the folks playing shoelaces at least three times a day from what I've heard, is that all you can think about, playing shoelaces?
Tangle: Birds too! I went on the windowsill and saw birds!
Gemini: Yes well, I'm sure you did. There's lots of birds round here, specially since we've had the bird table. That's not news though. Maybe I didn't explain properly, but the diaries are supposed to be about interesting things. You can't just put that you saw birds. Maybe if you elaborated a bit...
Tangle: Jingly balls! Can you play those? I can play jingly balls. There's two in my room!
Gemini: Oh for heaven's sake, there's jingly balls all over the house, but it doesn't mean you have to play with them. They're just for kittens really, you know.
Tangle: What about those wiggly waggly things then, can you play them? I can play them. There's two of those in my room too!
Gemini: Right, that's it, I'm going to to have a nice long nap, somewhere quiet. Call me when you've calmed down, will you? And look after that collar!
Tangle: Catnip cushions maybe...?
Saturday 25th April - by Gemini
Our vets have a cheek you know, I shall give them a piece of my mind next time I see them. Which may be quite soon if today's letter is anything to go by. It was an invitation to attend for my annual MOT, you know, the ears-eyes-teeth-and-tum check, plus my usual vaccination, a hop on the scales (I hope they'll be impressed!), and then naturally, a chance for the vet to tell me how good I look for my age and say how marvellous it is that I still have all my own teeth, etc etc. Well that's what usually happens, only this time there was an extra invitation... one which I feel sure was sent to me in error. An invitation to have a 'Senior Well-Cat' checkup! Really, I kid you not. The Well-Cat bit I can understand, but to invite me to the Senior one... well, I mean, do I look Senior? I think not. That implies crotchety old biddies, surely? I'm only thirteen! I suppose technically that make me a senior, but to put it in writing like that, well, a girl could get quite upset. Still, maybe the folks will tell them it's all a mistake. You see as well as having all my own teeth, I also have all my own marbles, and I will tell them when I'm ready to be a Senior, and not the other way round, thank you very much!
Friday 24th April - by Gemini
Well, I'm not calling her that! Honestly, we've waited with baited breath all week (well, we waited anyway), for Madam, New Cat, TBA to let us know what her proper name should be and she comes up with this! I mean where did that come from? She's only been here a week. Apparently, get this, Madam's name is Pandora Tanglefoot (the first). That girl's got ideas above her station, if you ask me. So, as I say, I am not calling her that! I think even the folks were rather surprised, and have very wisely decided to call her simply 'Tangle'. Yes, that's better, I can handle that. One name's good enough for anyone in my opinion. So Tangle it is. Now... I wonder...
Gemini: "Hey... Tangle...?"
Tangle: (no reply)
Gemini: Hmmm. Let's try that again. "Oi you! Madam! Yes you... cat in the box!"
Tangle: (Tangle peeks out from her box-under-the-bed, sees Gemini, and decides to stay in her box)
Gemini: "Oh come on, I'm not that scary, am I?"
Tangle: (no reply)
Gemini: "Well, listen, all I wanted to say is that now we know your name, I'll need to explain to you about our diaries. You'll have to do one sooner or later you know."
Tangle: (no reply)
Gemini: "OK, look, this is silly, I'm not sitting here talking to a box!" (thinks: actually, that's exactly what I am doing), "I'll be on my Special Cushion when you're ready OK?" (thinks: Pandora Tanglefoot indeed!). "I'll erm... just finish up your biscuits before I go though, OK? I mean it would be a shame to waste them." (thinks: rotten so-and-so, she didn't leave me many. I'll have to get in sooner next time).
 Thursday 23rd April - by Gemini
Oooh, she's brave, I'll give her that. The folks have been letting New-Cat-No-Name-Yet have the freedom of the upstairs whenever I'm elsewhere (they still don't trust me to be alone with her), like last night when me and the folks were downstairs watching telly. Well, let me clarify that a bit, they were the ones watching telly, I had much more important matters to attend to, in this instance that meant lounging gracefully on my Special Cushion attending to my important little areas (of which I have many). If my memory serves me correctly, I was approximately halfway through attending to the important little bits-between-my-toes on my left hind leg, when out of the corner of my eye I was stunned to see the end of a tortie tail peeping up over the other end of the sofa! I couldn't believe my whiskers, and the folks wouldn't have believed theirs either if they had any. So much for her being the cat-least-likely-to at the rescue, I'd say she's already very-much-likely-to! She'd made her own way downstairs and just strolled in the lounge for a good look round. She went behind the sofa, round the telly, onto the windowsill (behind the curtains, George's favourite spot), up onto the bookshelves, and even (briefly) on the sofa... our sofa... my sofa! When I think back to how long it took the Colonel or Pickford to do that, and there she was up there in less than a week. I was too stunned even to hiss at her. I'm beginning to think she may be as fearless as me... now that's scary!
Wednesday 22nd April - by Gemini
Well, this is most intriguing. I really can't make
Madam, New Cat, TBA, No-Name-Yet out. One minute she's bold as brass and the next she's a proper little scaredy-cat. The folks have been allowing us little meetings over the last couple of days, supervised of course (anyone would think they didn't trust me). The first time we came face to face was just through the crack of her very-slightly-ajar door. Well, that was her first bold-as-brass move, she only hissed at me! Yes me... Gemini... the Cat in Charge, and she has the audacity to hiss at me! Admittedly I growled at her first, but even so, what a little madam, eh? We've had a couple of shoelaces-and-treats-sessions since then (with a human in between operating the shoelaces and dispensing the treats), but quite what that's supposed to acheive I have no idea. Some loopy notion about bonding or team-building I shouldn't wonder. Still, it keeps the folks happy I suppose. Anyway, she showed her scaredy-cat side yesterday whe she realised that to get back into 'her room' she would have to pass within two-cat-lengths of me... so she ran off and hid behind the office desk instead! Hmmm... yes... I recall I had the exact same effect on Colonel Beau in his early days here too. Am I really that scary? The truth is I have never, ever had a proper fight inside my own home, and I'm not about to start now. However, I feel it does no harm to look as though I would!
 Monday 20th April - by Gemini
Oh... my... goodness. Madam, New Cat, TBA, No-Name-Yet appears to have come straight from the Colonel Beau school of noise and nuisance! The folks it seems, are really pleased that she's coming out of her shell so quickly - coming on in 'leaps and bounds' in fact, from the nervous thing that arrived from the rescue on Friday. Trouble is the 'leaps' seem to be a liking for leaping on and off the beds at night, and the 'bounds' is her new found hobby of bounding round the upstairs like a mad thing first thing in the morning. I prefer to lounge in the lounge at night on my Special Cushion, all nice and peaceful, (as one would), dreaming of prawns and custard and maybe chasing the odd butterfly, and quite honestly I can do without Madam thumping round upstairs disturbing my tranquility. I haven't been woken so rudely since the late, great Colonel's 5am 'circuit training'! And I have to say it sounds pretty much the same to me, (i.e. a herd of elephants). How can just one cat make that much noise? And then... today I saw her first photos - and as you can see, of all the things one could have imagined... she's a tortie! Well, there you go, that explains everything!
Sunday 19th April - by Gemini
Oh I say! No-one was expecting this, least of all our folks. It's only two days since 'madam', miss no-name-as-yet (TBA) arrived, and yet this (supposedly) hardest-to-home cat at the rescue has today not only come out of her box, but has eaten... poo'd... allowed the folks to fuss her... purred a lot, and even played with a Wiggly Waggler! Now, I'm no expert but that doesn't sound like a particularly nervous cat to me... or to the folks... they actually phoned up the rescue today just to check that they had the right cat! Talk about a turn-round. It seems that she never, ever came out of her box at the rescue if there were people about, so it's no wonder she didn't get chosen. I suppose if the folks had gone up to the rescue they wouldn't have seen her either, so she can thank their Cat Chat page for her change in fortunes. Well, and mine too as it goes - of all the cats they could have adopted, they've got one who doesn't like coley fish - result! Honestly, they gave her a nice bit of coley today and she turned her nose up, and went for the biscuits instead, (good job I was around to ensure it didn't go to waste). Anyway, now that she's getting a bit bolder I don't think it will be long before the folks take a photo of her. I do hope so, because despite living in the same house, I haven't even been allowed to see her yet!
Saturday 18th April - by Gemini
OK, so now I've found out exactly why the folks have invited this new cat (name still TBA), into our spare room. Oh, I know it's because (according to them) we have a 'cat vacancy', and also because there are just so many cats in need of a home, but now I have found out why this one in particular. It was because of the rescue's description on her Cat Chat write up - the sort of description that would put most people off, it has to be said! She was rescued from a very horrid home (I won't go into details, but suffice to say, it wasn't nice), and she'd been at the rescue since last summer. Her Cat Chat entry said things like 'needs careful handling and very patient coaxing' and 'not for the faint hearted'. Just the sort of phrases in fact that one might have used to describe Pickford in his early days! I gather that the rescue considered her to be their most hard-to-home cat, so naturally that was the one our folks picked. Hmmm... well I don't know how I feel about that yet, I mean I've got to live with her too! (I will reserve judgement until we meet, I can't say fairer than that, can I?) Anyway, right now, 'Not for the Faint Hearted' is apparently holed up in the new box-house-bed-thing under the spare bed, refusing to come out, or eat, or drink, or poo, or make the slightest movement in any way whatsoever. The folks are taking it in turns to go in and sit with her, and try some of the previously mentioned 'patient coaxing'. I don't know why they bother really, surely the easiest way to get a cat out of a box is to produce coley fish or prawns? Or is that just me?
Friday 17th April - by Gemini
I saw it! I saw it! Only briefly mind, but I saw the cat! Well OK... if I'm honest I saw a darkish blob at the back of Beau's old carrier as it was taken upstairs this afternoon, to be installed in the Colonel's old quarters (which was Bodger's room before that). It could have been a darkish blob of absolutely anything really, but I know it was a cat because I can smell her under the door. And no, that wasn't a mistake, I did say her, which I have to say was a bit of a shock. I haven't lived with another female cat since before George's days, back when I was still barely out of kittenhood! Ever since then I've always had boys to boss around, and if I do say so myself I've got very good at it over the years, (well, let's face it boys need bossing around, don't they?) But another girl? How does that work? I'm going to have to re-think my whole strategy for this one. I thought I'd better let her know I'm here at least, so I scratched the carpet up out of it's clip thing just outside 'The Room', which of course is totally out of bounds to me whilst madam settles in. So for the moment we are once again one room short of a house. Still, I suppose I should be grateful that despite the four available beds in The Room, there does at least appear to be only one cat!
Thursday 16th April - by Gemini
OK, now I know there is definitely something going on. Since when have we needed four beds in the spare room? Not four people-sized beds I hasten to add, (the room isn't anywhere near big enough for that), but four beds nevertheless. There's the one people-sized spare bed of course, then the folks have put a cushion-type bed on top of the downstairs scratching post which is now upstairs (it's one of those with the platform on top), and if that wasn't enough, our human of the female variety has made two new cat-sized duvet-beds, one flat on the floor and one in a box with a sort of cat-flap-hole cut in the front, which is underneath the spare bed. Well I've tried them all of course, and they're all comfy enough, but none are as good as my bed-under-the-radiator, so they can't all be for me, and what would be the point? I mean I have a bed in every room of the house already (except for the bathroom and the toilet), so why are there four beds in there, and more to the point who are they for? Please, please, please tell me we are not getting four new cats, I really couldn't put up with that! Anyway, as at tonight I am still in the dark, as we have no cats at all in the spare room whatsoever (I checked... several times). But if my female-tabby-intuition is correct (and it usually is), my current status of 'only cat' is not set to last for much longer. I will report back... unless we do get four cats... in which case I will be moving next door!
 Wednesday 15th April - by Gemini
I haven't had a seriously good nose round under our stairs for ages, but two things happened today that meant I simply had to give it the once over. Or... is that the once-under? Well, whatever, it needed doing. The first thing was that the folks had hauled out half the under-stairs contents (mostly 'people-junk' of course) and dumped it on the sofa, and the second thing was the strange man who turned up, solely it turned out, to go under our stairs. It wasn't the usual man who comes round once in a while to go under our stairs, the one with the torch and the clipboard (I'm not sure what he does, a house-to-house spider inventory possibly), but this man didn't have a clipboard for a start. No, this one came to put a new electric-box on the wall under the stairs. I know it was the electric-box because all of a sudden Radio 2 went off, and everyone knows that runs on electric, (yes, and I was listening to it, but no-one bothered to ask me!). Well naturally, as soon as he'd finished I went in for a reccy, well you can't have your under-stairs half empty and a new electric-box on the wall and not investigate, can you? What I want to know is why do people keep all this junk? I mean what exactly do they plan to do with four broken umbrellas?
Monday 13th April - by Gemini
Now I have to say it's very unlike our folks to do unnecessary spring cleaning. In fact, truth be told, it's unlike them to do even necessary spring cleaning. But today they were definitely sprucing up, cleaning, tidying and also, strangely, re-arranging the spare room, (yes the Colonel's old quarters). I am very suspicious. I haven't seen our human of the female variety operating our vacuum cleaner since... errr... well I can't remember the last time, it might not even have been this century! (she's allergic to the vacuum cleaner in the same way that our human of the male variety is allergic to the iron). So something is definitely going on. I went in there afterwards and had a good nose round, including getting up on the windowsill, and inside the chest of drawers (it was being moved, so the drawers were all out on the bed), I even went under the bed, but I found no clues anywhere, not a sausage. Oh yes - and this is curious too, the scratching post that was upstairs is now downstairs and vice versa (why?). The worrying thing is that the last time anything like this happened was when the Colonel turned up. Well thankfully as at tonight no uninvited lodgers have turned up, furry or otherwise, so perhaps they were just spring cleaning after all. I'm not placing any bets yet though, but when I do I won't be betting on our folks suddenly getting houseproud after all these years!
Saturday 11th April - by Gemini
You know, eating on your own isn't all that much fun, is it? I never really thought about it before, but for the last few years I've had either Pickford or Colonel Beau (or both) there at mealtimes, and now it's just me, and it's odd. I don't know if I'm just missing the 'who's left what' game, where you go round the other cat's bowls seeing if there's anything worth nicking, or if I'm missing the company, or maybe I'm missing the entertainment factor. Anyone who remembers the Colonel will know that he'd once had a broken jaw, and as such his mouth, and therefore his food, never quite went in the direction he meant it to. I'm sure it was a little frustrating for him, but it was highly entertaining for me and anyone else watching. And as for Pickford... dear Pickford... ever since his second dental which left him with only one tooth, he was always a source of amusement and amazement at mealtimes. Thinking back it was pure artistry the way he managed to guide his food in. I really miss the familiar thwuck-thwuch-thwuck of gums-on-bowl that signified Pickford eating. The folks tried to engage me in a game with Da Bird today, but I couldn't even bring myself to swipe it, not even once. Since the Colonel went, that's been a 'me & Pickford' game, but now... I don't know, it's just not the same on my own. Well, there's no-one to show off to is there? But I'll be OK on my own, I will honestly. I think.
Thursday 9th April - by Gemini
We've been really touched here by all the messages of condolence and support for losing our Pickford, there are some truly lovely people out there! Seems it's not just me and the folks who are going to miss him. So, we had Pickford's funeral this afternoon. He's been buried in the sunniest spot in the front weed-borders. You know that spot in every garden that gets the absolutely last bit of sun? Well, Pickford is in that spot. He had some fabulous flowers to mark his grave too - thanks to Auntie Tan from Purrs in our Hearts forum, bless her, they're beautiful! Mind you, the bit Pickford would have appreciated most is the catnip. The folks laid him to rest on a bed of super-strength catnip, and sprinkled catnip on top of him too. I understand that when people get buried they get sprinkled with dirt... well, I'm sorry but that sounds a bit yucky to me! Pickford wouldn't have wanted dirt, catnip was his favourite thing, and so now he can roll in catnip heaven forever. Well... probably not, because I expect Colonel Beau has already met him up on Rainbow Bridge, ticked him off for being late, and assigned him Bridge Patrol duty or something. Anyway, so where does that leave me? Keeping Cat Chat Towers running single-handed is where! I can manage though, I can honestly! Please don't anyone tell the folks about all the other cats in rescues round here, or who knows who I could be landed with next!
Wednesday 8th April - by Gemini: A Tribute to Pickford the Brave
I tried my best, I really did. I wished Pickford all my best get-well wishes yesterday and last night, and the folks sat with him and did their best get-well things. Well it always worked before... it worked when he had his abscess, it worked when he had his teeth out, it worked when he had the lump off his belly, and it even worked when he had his dew claw removed that turned out to be the 'Big C'. So, I thought our get-well wishes would always work for Pickford the Brave, he seemed invincible somehow, but they weren't enough this time. It was all to do with his bone marrow and red blood cells or something, oh I don't know, but his insides just couldn't work properly anymore. The folks are so upset, they thought he was invincible too. I never thought I'd say this but I'm going to miss him. Pickford was always so well-mannered, he always let me have the best spot, he'd even give up a warm lap if I wanted it, and he'd never steal my prawns. He was fun to watch too, when he went bonkers with a catnip sack, or his Wiggly Waggler or Da Bird. And how the folks are going to get to sleep at night without a Private-Pickford-hot-water-bottle in between them I have no idea. So tonight Pickford's Pillow is empty, and the folks bed is only two-thirds full. Tomorrow he'll be buried in the sunniest part of the front weed-border, near where he used to laze in the sun for hours on end, and not too far from his hero, the late great Colonel Beau. Goodnight Pickford the Brave, the place won't be the same without you.
R.I.P. Pickford the Brave, 1996 (approx) - 2009
Tuesday 7th April - by Gemini
Poor Pickford, he's not feeling at all well at the moment. I don't think he was feeling that good last night to be honest, (he let me eat his supper, which is a bit unusual). Anyway, the folks took him to see the vet today, I don't know what happened, he's not talking about it, but he hasn't perked up like you usually do when you come back from the vet. I mean, vets usually give you one of these go-faster injections when you're not feeling well, don't they? I don't know if he had a go-faster injection or not, but if anything he's going slower. And they've got this special food for him, which I have to say smells rather nice, but he doesn't seem keen on eating it. I ate some, as you would, but Pickford isn't interested. He's curled up asleep on his 'Pickford's Pillow' under the radiator in the Cat Chat office at the moment. I don't really know what to do, I mean, I can't be 'Nurse Gemini' for him and make him better by sitting on him and dribbling into his face like I do for the folks, I know he wouldn't appreciate that, so I suppose I'll just have to leave him be, and wish him better from a distance (about twelve cats-lengths, which is the distance between my bed-under-the-radiator and Pickford's Pillow). I hope he's perked up by the morning, or I can see him getting whisked off back to the vets, and no-one wants that two days running.
Saturday 4th April - by Gemini (interrupted by Pickford)
Oh! I think I just invented a new word! I didn't invent the thing itself, I'm sure that's been around since my ancestors-ancestors-ancestors time (or even longer), but I think I may have just invented a name for it - The Miaaaaawn. It's that thing you do when you start out intending to do a nice big Miaow only part way through you're overtaken by a nice big Yawn instead. Well, you can't stop yawns once they start, can you? So it turns into a Miaaaaawn.
Pickford: That's a bit like what our mate Man-in-Socks does ain't it?
Gemini: What on earth do you mean? Man-in-Socks doesn't miaow!
Pickford: Nah, I know that, I mean that thing he does where he can burp and say a rude word at the same time. It's a bit like that.
Gemini: No it is not! It's not the remotest bit like that at all! My Miaaaaawns are just the combination of two perfectly normal, natural cat-things. Anyway, burping and saying a rude word at the same time is quite vulgar if you ask me.
Pickford: Yeah, but it's funny though, ain't it?
Gemini: Well... I, ummm... yes, I suppose it is a bit funny, in a Man-in-Socks sort of way.
Thursday 2nd April - by Pickford
Well I weren't to know, was I? I like goin' on laps, and both the folk's laps like havin' me on 'em, so 'ow was I s'posed to know not to go on that lap, right then? It looked flat enough to me, so I thought 'I can go on there', as you would, only it turns out you're not s'posed to go on laps when there's already a 'laptop' on it. Laptops don't like bein' sat on. It mucks 'em all up when you jump on the keys, see? Well as I say, I weren't to know that. I dunno why they bother with it to be honest, I mean both me and Gemini are 'appy to go on laps any old time (they only had to ask), and we're much more friendly and soft and warm than that laptop thing. Yeah, this technology lark's all very well, but it ain't no substitute for havin' a proper cat on yer lap. 'Ere's the funny thing though... turns out they was usin' the laptop to type up our diary for today, only it disappeared when I jumped on the keys and mucked it up, so they 'ad to put this instead! |
