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Tuesday 30 April ~ by Gemini
We knew this was coming, we just didn't know when. The folks have had this big 'Going Large' trip planned for ages now, and it looks like they are going tomorrow. How do we know? Sixth sense? No, just that their Big Bags came out today, and that means only one thing. Well it means two things actually, it means they are going off somewhere, but it also means we get to play the Big Bags Game. I got inside one of the bags first, and George attacked from the outside, then we swapped over. I have to admit I attacked the bag with such force at one point that the whole thing tipped over with George inside, Oooops, sorry matey! We know the folks will take us to the cattery, but it's been a while since we were there last, so it'll be good to see them again (they spoil us something rotten!). I like to look on the bright side, so another good thing about time away from the folks is the amount of extra fussing and treats we get when they're back!

Monday 29 April ~ by George
Unexpected games are something I have always liked. I like expected ones too of course, but there's something about unexpected ones that are just a bit special. If you'd have told me yesterday who I'd be playing an unexpected game with today, I'd have said you were more bonkers than our folks, and that's pretty bonkers. It was the one, the only, the menace of our street, the Ginger Thug! Honestly, he came in through the hole in our fence (no, they've still not fixed it) and for once he didn't growl at me, chase me, or even look at me in a funny way. He went round to the other side of our weed-border, laid down in the sun and just looked at me, and not a Thuggish look either. He waited for me to make the first move, and then we played chase round the bushes. No, Gemini didn't believe me either, but it's true. He's either too old to be a Thug any more, or he's fed up being Billy-no-mates. Either way, it's a definite improvement!

Sunday 28 April ~ by Gemini
George had one of his mega combing sessions on the kitchen floor today, which seems to make him go all soppy and uncontrollable (yes, even more than normal). He's fun to watch, but that's all I want to do, watch. I don't wish to join in thank you very much, although the folks do try to persuade me. I relented a little today, and let them comb the top of my head and down my back, but as soon as they get too near my tail-end... no thank you! Over the years they've learned (the hard way) when I've had enough. Don't get me wrong, I do love them but they know if they overstep the mark where grooming is concerned, they'll get the sharp end of my claws!

Saturday 27 April ~ by George
I thought the world had ended this morning. There I was sprawled out on the upstairs landing, when all of a sudden the daylight seemed to switch off and everything went dark. Luckily I had my Big Brave Head on, so I went to investigate, and discovered the folks doing the strangest thing with their mattress. They'd got it up on it's end, so it was blocking all the light from the window. I mean upright, so the sleeping bit was vertical, now I may not know a lot but even I could tell that was going to make it jolly difficult to sleep on. I tried to climb up it, but it was too high even for me, so me and Gemini chased round it instead. Finally they saw sense and put it down flat again, but the other way up to before. I think it's about number two hundred and thirty six in the list of 'pointless things humans do'.

Friday 26 April ~ by Gemini
Er, excuse me, I thought summer was here. What's going on? It's been warm and sunny for over a week now, and we're in summer mode, but today it went back to being cold, very cold in fact, windy, and very very wet. I'd deliberately started to lose some of my 'super insulating winter belly' too, and today I needed it back! George is right, whoever's in charge of the weather needs to decide what season they're in and stick to it! So, there was only one thing for it, get the best chair by the radiator and snuggle up for the day. George doesn't need much persuading to stay indoors when it's horrid outside, over the years I've taught him the benefits of a snuggle-up-and-do-nothing day, and today was exactly that.

Thursday 25 April ~ by George
I've often thought what it would be like to be a different colour, given that I've been white and black for as long as I can remember. I fancy having a go at being tabby, or ginger, or black but Gemini always tells me I should be happy the way I am. Well I am happy, I'd just like a change, that's all. Anyway, I got my chance today, thanks to the vole-hole that I discovered the other week. I didn't find another vole, but where I'd had my nose stuck down it for so long, the grass had stained my face green! How cool was that? I was green for several hours too, before the folks spotted me and scrubbed it off. The scrubbing wasn't much fun, but it was worth it. I looked just as handsome in green!

Wednesday 24 April ~ by Gemini
I'm not often in the right place at the right time when it comes to making beds, largely because when the folk's bed gets made, I'm usually eating breakfast. Things must have got done in a different order today though, beacause I was in exactly the right place (on the unmade bed) at exactly the right time (bed-making time). At this point I can do one of two things, either help or get in the way. Today I chose the latter, much more fun! They decided to just carry on making the bed as though I wasn't there, so I ended up totally covered by the duvet, which turned out to be rather nice and warm so that's where I stayed all morning. It was a completely George-free zone too, luxury!

Tuesday 23 April ~ by George
Well, I didn't expect this. The frogs really are having a second go round this year with the spawn thing. Gemini reckons they were too early with the first lot, and the frost got to it (the bits that I hadn't already eaten that is), so they're trying again. There's only a small bit though, but at least they're trying. Very protective of it they are too, there were at least three of them keeping guard over this bit all day today, so I felt sorry for them and didn't eat it. See, I'm not all self like Gemini says, am I? Anhow the folks took a photo of it so that I could put in in the diary, but it was so small it could have been anything. It was one of those 'you had to be there' sort of things. And lucky for me, I was!

Monday 22 April ~ by Gemini
This may not sound like the most desirable gourmet menu in the world to anyone else, but it comes pretty high on my list: fish soup and strawberry yoghurt! It's a close second to prawns and custard in fact. Yoghurt is only a recent discovery for me, and I'm getting quite a taste for it. George turns his nose up at it, ('Ugh, fruit, how could you?') which just means more for me. It's even tastier when it's eaten outdoors, so today was a real treat. The folks had their lunch out on the bench today, part of which was some ex-frozen fish. The 'soup' then, is the juice you get when it defrosts, and they always save that for us. Unfortunately, one thing George never turns his nose up at is fish soup!

Sunday 21 April ~ by George
I've always been pretty good at pouncing, probably because I practice a lot, but I didn't know until today quite how close I'm getting to being able to fly (that's one of my ambitions). I'd been spooked by the Ginger Thug who'd popped his head through the hole in our fence, so I went haring up the garden in the direction of our cat flap. Unfortunately there was an obstacle in my way. An obstacle called Gemini. I had to make a split second decision, which was either to stop running (not an option from my point of view), crash into Gemini (not an option from her point of view), or go for 'lift off' and fly over her. Well what would you have done? Honestly I must have flown for at lease three feet, it was amazing!

Saturday 20 April ~ by Gemini
The new game of pouncing through the missing fence panel ended today, because the folks have put in a new panel. Well I suppose it was too good to last. They've even painted the thing, what sort of waste of energy is that I ask? Folks like their fences don't they? I can't see the fascination myself, wouldn't it be better to just join all the gardens together and have one big one? Having said that, I wouldn't want everyone's garden joining on to ours, particularly the one a few houses up that has a big black dog in it! I managed to get prime position on the cooker lid today, after the folks had done some cooking and warmed it up for me. Heaven is a full belly and a warm cooker lid!

Friday 19 April ~ by George
Today really was the start of summer for me, or more to the point, the start of frog-plopping season! They all lay in the grass at the side of the pond sunbathing, loads of them, just asking to be 'plopped' back in the water. I don't even have to touch them, all I do is stalk slowly along the edge poking my paw into the grass and in they jump! Plop, plop, ploppity plop plop, fantastic! I don't think it's much fun for the fish, having to keep dodging flying frogs from above, but the frogs love it I'm certain of that. I've always thought our folks could put in a diving board for them at one end so they could practice, but Gemini says that's just silly. Not half as silly as getting wedged behind the office desk though, eh Gemini? He he he!

Thursday 18 April ~ by Gemini
Since we've got a bit of our fence missing (see yesterday's excitement), the whole outlook of our garden has changed. It's very strange to be able to see right across next door's garden without having to go up on the fence, and George has been making the most of the shortcut. We discovered a new game to play too, in which we each crouch down on either side of the gap, hidden from each other's view. Then instinct and timing come into play, when we have to predict who will leap through the hole first and pounce on the other. We're quite evenly matched in a strange sort of way. I'm good at the predicting, and George is good at the pouncing! (It's taken George's mind off the voles as well.)

Wednesday 17 April ~ by George
We had a visit from 'chainsaw man' today, who came to chop bits off our tree, and next door's pigeon tree as well. It was a good spectator sport for us, we watched safely from the upstairs windows and got a real bird's (or in this case cat's) eye view. Our tree looks much the same as before, only slimmer all round, but the pigeon tree, well I couldn't believe my eyes. It's been chopped to less than half it's size, so loads of the branches have gone. The pigeon's aren't too impressed that's for sure, I could tell by the looks on their little faces, (I felt quite sorry for them, I must be going soft in my old age). The best bit was when one of the branches crashed down and went straight through one of our fence panels, CRRRUNNNCHHHH! Spectacular! So for the moment we've got a short cut to next door's garden!

Tuesday 16 April ~ by Gemini
What a fantastic sunbathing day today was. I tell you, our folks have put those extra slabs round the pond just in time, they're just perfect for me to stretch out on. Unfortunately, it seems every other cat in the neighbourhood also thinks ours is the place to come for a sunshine snooze. There was this wild sort of cat who used to stroll through our front garden a while ago, and there he was today, snoozing at the bottom of our pampas grass, like he owned the place. Then I discovered none other than the Ginger Thug stretched out under on of our bushes, what a cheek! I think I'll start advertising the place as some kind of cat holiday camp. Yes I can see it now, 'come down to Gemini and George's for your summer break, sun fun and the beach' (without the beach). I could charge two prawns a day!

Monday 15 April ~ by George
My goodness I'm a clever little George sometimes, I amaze even myself. Just as well, because no-one else seems to be impressed about this. I've recently discovered a vole hole, and today I managed to catch not one, but two of them! They're very tiny and can easily hide down in the grass, so I have to use my snout to root them out! With my first catch, I made the same mistake as I did on Saturday, which was basically to take it indoors to play with. They may be little but they're very quick, and this one shot along the hall and hid behind the radiator pipes. The folks managed to get hold of it and put it outside for me to catch another day. Vole number two however, I decided would be all mine, so I ate it straight away, no messing (well only a little, where I left a bit of it's 'insides' on the kitchen floor). Yummy scrummy!

Sunday 14 April ~ by Gemini
Not wishing to disappoint George at all, but one of his exciting things yesterday, namely the newt spawn, wasn't. I don't mean it wasn't exciting because it was, or would have been, it's just that it wasn't newt spawn. I told Marmaduke up the road about it, and when I described it he said newt spawn was entirely different, and that it was simply frog spawn, from a different type of frog. It's good to know a cat who knows everything. I expect I'll know everything when I get to his age, but that's centuries away! I know enough to be getting on with, where the warmest napping spots are, how to procure food from our folks, and how to get away with things whilst ensuring that George gets the blame!

Saturday 13 April ~ by George
What an exciting garden day today was. Two major bits of news, first I showed off my stalking and catching prowess to great effect, when I caught a shrew. Ok, so it still doesn't compare to Gemini's rat a few weeks ago, but a shrew is still a good catch in my book. The folks tried to get it off me but I wasn't having any of that (they never eat them anyway, so what's the point in letting them have it?), so I dodged up over the fence with it in my mouth. I managed to tiptoe past the folks shortly after and took it in through the catflap to play with in the kitchen. Unfortunately the sneaky little thing managed to find the gap under my food bowl and went into hiding until the folks rescued it, Bah! Just as well there was another exciting thing to make up for it, we've got newt-spawn in the pond! (I think that's what it is, unless the frogs are having a second go this year). I'll keep my eye on it, and report any developments.

Friday 12 April ~ by Gemini
George thinks he's so funny making me get stuck behind the desk yesterday, but it wasn't fair this time, I'm sure the folks have moved the desk closer to the wall. That's my excuse anyhow. I have to say now that it's done, I'm quite pleased with our new 'splash' page, even if it did take months of solid nagging to get the folks to do it. I tried the search box thing on it today, to see if it worked. Naturally I typed in useful things like 'prawns', 'custard' and 'cream', but the result was most disappointing. All it does is show you where these things appear in the site, it doesn't actually produce prawns or custard or cream. What on earth use is that?

Thursday 11 April ~ by George
It's usually me who follows Gemini around (it's a habit I haven't got out of since kittenhood), but I've only recently discovered that if I look as though I know where something interesting is going on, it's very easy to get her to follow me instead. I caught her out twice like that today,(and both times she should have known better!). First I did my magic drawer trick in the office, and when I'd got to the back of the first drawer I started wailing, so she followed me in. Unfortunately for her, there's so much stuff in the second drawer (my 'exit' drawer) that she can't get past! I tricked her again later by dropping down the back of the desk and making 'guess what I've found' kind of snuffling noises. Oh she just couldn't resist following me, and she knows she gets stuck behind there too. I just nipped out without a problem, but for Gemini it was airlift time!

Wednesday 10 April ~ by Gemini
It still amazes me how every day our folks put down a clean bowl of water by our food. I haven't worked out yet what we're supposed to do with it, I mean they aren't expecting us to drink it surely? They must know we'd never do that, not all the time there's a pond in the garden, and old buckets and pots lying around outside with rain water in. Why would we want boring clean water out of the tap, when we have so many more interesting sources to choose from? I do sometimes drink water indoors, but only from saucepans and cups and things that get left in the sink waiting to be washed up. George has been known to stick his head down the toilet and drink the water there, but I'm slightly more dignified than that!

Tuesday 9 April ~ by George
I was convinced there was a monster out in our garden this morning, I could hear it making strange creaking and flapping noises. I didn't have my brave head on either, so I wasn't about to go out and tackle it. Gemini said she was going out, monster or no monster, and off she went! I was fully expecting her to come crashing back through the catflap hotly pursued by something unimaginable, but no. Either she'd beaten it up (very likely), or it wasn't much of a monster after all, (as it turned out she hadn't, and it wasn't). But what could I do? There was only one thing for it, I wailed and wailed until the folks went and checked it out. Alright, I'll admit it now, it was a bag full of garden stuff and the top was flapping against the fence in the wind. But in my defence it was a very big bag, and it flapped very loudly indeed. When the folks finally realised what I was wailing about, they went out and shoved a brick on it. That shut it up.

Mon. 8 April 2002 ~ by Gemini
I witnessed one of the strangest things ever this morning. One of our folks was trying to get in through our cat flap! No I'm not joking, they must have looked awfully daft from the outside. I was inside, and all of a sudden the cat flap flies open and there was a face looking at me, and then I swear they tried to push their head in through it. When they realised how impossible it was going to be, they started shouting instead, and then I twigged what had happened. Oh you're going to love this, (and they're going to hate me telling you!). Seems one of our slaves, er I mean humans, had been out in the garage, and when they came back in the house they didn't realise the other was out in the garden, and they locked them outside (without a key!). Ha, they could have been there for days! Gave me and George a laugh anyway.

Sun. 7 April 2002 ~ by George
It's the simple things in life that are often the best I find, (Gemini says that's why she loves me, but I can't work out if that's a compliment or not). One of my favourite simple things happened this morning, which is being combed on the kitchen floor. It was a particularly good session today, I stretched right out with my claws in the scratching post, and got combed and combed, until they must have got very nearly a cushion's worth of fur. I could lay there for hours if they'd comb for that long, but then I suppose I wouldn't have any fur left so best stick to a few minutes. The birds get lucky with my fur too, because this time of year it gets pegged out on the trees for them to make thier nests with, (they've had three lots off me this year!). See, I'm not just a pretty face!

Sat. 6 April 2002 ~ by Gemini
Goings on and upheavals round the pond today. The folks have decided to put in a couple of extra sunbathing slabs at the far end. I say the far end, that makes it sound huge and it's not, but the far end nevertheless. Typical humans though, could they just plonk them down on the edge and leave the rest to nature? Not a chance. No, they had to dig loads of soil out from round the edge, then put some back in, then take some back out, you get the picture. I had to supervise of course, (so many worms to relocate for a start), and if they'd have done it my way in the first place they'd have finished in half the time. Anyhow, after lots of huffing and puffing it got done, and Thermal (our stone cat), has moved onto one of the new slabs. Thankfully, there's plenty of space for me to sunbathe. Ah yes, I can almost smell next door's barbecue already...

Fri. 5 April 2002 ~ by George
Just when I thought it was summer, and safe to stay outdoors, suddenly today went all cold and windy, what's that all about? I don't like wind, it's one of my least favourite weathers. I think it reminds me of when I was tiny, and I nearly got blown up over the fence once, (ok that might be a slight exaggeration, but it scared me at the time). What made it worse today was that the folks had put some sheets out on the line, and when the wind catches them, they makes a loud 'whump!' sound, like an elephant has just landed in the middle of the garden. Not that we've ever had an elephant land in our garden, but I imagine it would sound just like that. Gemini says my imagination gets the better of me, but just you wait, when that elephant does land in our garden, she'll eat her words!

Thur. 4 April 2002 ~ by Gemini
Now I'm not normally one for saying 'I told you so', but I did tell you so! That hole that George has been guarding recently did have mice in, and as I predicted they came out in their own good time. Luckily for me one decided to come out today while I was sunbathing under our tree, and while George was off 'plopping' frogs round the pond. Did I chase it? Yes of course I did. Did I catch it? Naturally I caught it. And was George jealous as hell? Dead right he was! I just like the chase though, and the victory, I don't actually like to eat the things. So, as a consolation prize I let George wrestle it off me and then left him to eat it. This is very generous of me I think, seeing as he never lets me share what he catches. Not that I'd want his second hand wildlife anyhow, not unless he starts catching wild prawns or coley fish that is!

Wed. 3 April 2002 ~ by George
Being useful is something I can only do when I'm in the right mood, and today I felt like being very useful indeed. I started by offering my services in the office, walking on the keyboard, skating across the desk, sitting in the open drawers, that sort of thing. My mate the printer was doing some work, purring away (more like chugging, but he'll get better with practice), so I sat on him for a bit and purred back. I accidentally stood on one of his buttons at one point which made him stop purring, and the folks went bit potty, but apart from that I'm sure I did a grand job. Even if I'm not being helpful, the folks say I'm always inspirational, so that's good isn't it? So now my full title is 'Big Bad Tough Streetwise Misunderstood Inspirational George (mucky) Cat'!

Tues. 2 April 2002 ~ by Gemini
George has been keeping an almost constant watch at the hole in the front lawn. He's convinced there's mice down there, possibly even a rat or two. That's as maybe, but I can't see the point in wasting good napping and eating time, just waiting for them to come out! They'll come out in their own time, and then I'll be first in line to chase them. Patience is a virtue I have plenty of, and not forgetting of course I'm the one who caught that rat a few weeks back, not George! So I left him to it, and went to lounge round the pond instead. I 'plopped' a few frogs back into the water and then lay back in the sun to watch this year's bumble bees. I'm sure they're bigger and buzzier than last year's.

Mon. 1 April 2002 ~ by George
I'm not going to do a diary today because I'm going to the moon instead.
Hah! April Fool! Had you going there.
I'm not really going to the moon, that would be silly, and as you know, I'm not silly. Instead, I'll tell you about our visitor today, he was the tallest person I've ever seen, his head almost touched our ceiling! He had no hair, and the biggest boots in the world, so I stayed a safe distance in case I got trod on by mistake. Gemini let him stroke her, but I think I'll reserve judgement until next time. I decided pond duty might be a safer bet, and what a treat, I saw two newts! I like newts, they're smart, and so quick. If I lived in a pond, I'd be a newt.

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