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Tuesday 16th March - by Yogi & Tangle
Yogi: Hey, you never told me there were things in the pond!
Tangle: Things? What things?
Yogi: Didn't you see it? Just now... a brown thing... moving... over there by the sticky-up weeds. It had eyes and everything!
Tangle: That? Oh, that was just a frog, there's loads of them in there. Oh! I suppose you haven't seen frogs before! You just wait until the summer, they'll be all over the place then - in the weed borders, under the bushes, round the edges of the pond, everywhere.
Yogi: Really? So what are they then? Can you eat 'em?
Tangle: Eeuurgh, that's gross, no of course you can't eat 'em. Frogs are just for chasing and prodding, that's all. They're like a game really, you chase 'em or you prod 'em and they jump up in the air. If you chase 'em right, you can make 'em jump back in the pond. That's top marks, if you do that.
Yogi: Cool! So when can I have a go then?
Tangle: Well I dunno... not yet though. They have to stay in the pond for a bit, to make all this jelly with wiggly things in. Gemini says the wiggly thing are like frogs kittens, sort of.
Yogi: Jelly with wiggly things in? Things like frogs kittens? Can you play with them too?
Tangle: Oh no, I don't think so. According to Gemini that's the bit you can eat.
Yogi: Yuuuuckkk! And you had the cheek to call me gross!.

Wednesday 10th March - by Gemini
Way to go Yogi! I do believe that boy is finally growing up and proving his worth around here. I have to say, I was impressed... not one, but two mice in under an hour! Well, I say two, but it could have been the same mouse, caught twice, (due to the folks releasing the first one into the weed borders in the back garden, which is roughly where Yogi caught the second mouse - or the first mouse again - whichever). Either way, Yogi's got a bit to learn about catching (and more to the point, keeping) his mice. He lost out on his first attempt due to a simple lack of experience. Still it's a learning curve, and now Yogi knows that dropping your mouse on the floor as soon as you come in through the cat-flap and then chasing it up the hall with your Kitty-Collars bell tinkling away is not the best way of keeping your mouse a secret from do-gooding, mouse-rescuing human hands! He did at least attempt to keep 'catch number 2' rather more quiet, but was foiled by the mouse who had the smart idea of hiding behind the swing-bin in the kitchen (which was full up, so no chance of moving it). That's when I thought I'd help out, so I sat on one side of the bin while Yogi sat on the other. And that would have worked, too... eventually, except it seems that two cats staring intently at a swing-bin is a bit of a giveaway. That time they released it into the front garden, thus denying Yogi a well-earned hat-trick. Ah well, never mind. It brought back fond memories of my dear George, and his mouse catching skills. He never bothered bringing them indoors, he used to just catch 'em and eat 'em! All except the feet though, funny, he never liked the feet.

Monday 8th March - by Yogi
That Tangle nicked my stick! I was going to take it indoors, I was honestly, only I wanted to play with it first, that was all. Well, it had these sort of stringy, sort of twiggy bits sticking out one end, so it was an intresting stick (which is how come I can put it in the diary). But the point is, it was my stick, I found it, and I wanted to be the one to take it indoors, only Tangle nicked it and took it in instead. It's so not fair that. She's already taken a stick in earlier, so it was my turn. My turn, and my stick! I can't be upset with her though, she's my friend. Tangle's brilliant. She chases me, and I chase her, and sometimes we just chase around together for no reason. Tangle's taught me loads too, like about bringing leaves and sticks in (she didn't teach me about earthworms though, I taught myself how to bring those in), and how to go front-to-back the easy way (by next door's garage), and now she's teaching me how to play Bannister Boxing! That's where you box each other between the poles up the stairs. That's great too. I said I could teach her how to catch earthworms if she wanted, but she didn't. She wanted me to show her how I do that thing with my tail. So I said yeah, I'd show her... if she stops nicking my interesting sticks! Then she said I couldn't prove it was my stick anyway, but I can - look! See that? That's me coming indoors. And where's my stick eh? Exactly!

Friday 5th March - by Gemini
OK, so here it is then, finally, the photo the folks have been hoping to get ever since Yogi's been here, the one of all three of us together. It's not that remarkable really though, is it? I mean, when three cats share the same house for six weeks (oh goodness, has it really only been six weeks? I swear he's aged me five years in that time). Anyway, as I was saying, about three cats in the same house, the law of averages says that sooner or later they'll end up in the same room at the same time. Actually, it's even less remarkable when you consider that in this case, the room happens to be the kitchen. The room where the food is. At roughly ten-to-teatime. Not rocket science, I think you'll agree. And a far more likely scenario than that thing with the monkeys and the typewriters. Particularly as there aren't any monkeys at Cat Chat Towers. Or any typewriters, come to that. So, does this mean I'm getting used to Yogi being around? Well yes, I suppose so. Except when he's being cheeky and staring me out, or coming through the catflap when I'm quite clearly on the other side. Naturally, I still have to put him back in his place when he breaks those sorts of fundamentals. Still he's learning quickly. And lucky for him, he can run quickly to, (very handy when I'm chasing him up the stairs). Oh, come on, he's a boy, he deserves to be chased! I don't chase him at mealtimes though. One must observe certain protocols when it comes to food, mustn't one?

Tuesday 2nd March - by Tangle
Yeah well, I wasn't to know, was I? I heard jingling, and jingling means toy mice with bells in, like you get for Christmas, doesn't it? Not only that, but it usually means toy mice with bells in that are moving, which is why they're jingling. So what else could I do but chase it? Except then Yogi ran off with it, so I chased after him, but when I caught him he hadn't got it, and then it turns out there was no jingly mouse at all, it was just a bell - round Yogi's neck! A jingly bell - fixed to a new collar - with his name on. It's one of those proper 'kitty collars' jobbies too, like Gemini's, only she won't wear hers. Gemini says she can remember her name without one, but Yogi's a boy so he probably needs reminding, that's what she said. Well, I don't know about that but I do know why they've got him a bell. It's because he's been stalking the Doves from Above when they get the seed that's fallen off the bird table. I heard the folks say he could be a right little menace, even though he has't caught anything yet, but that's why. So that's all well and good for the Doves from Above, but the trouble is, when I hear jingling how am I going to know if it's a Christmas mouse or a Yogi cat? Well, I'm not going to know, am I? So what I'm going to do is chase it anyway and worry about what I'm chasing later!

Friday 26th February - by Gemini
I'd honestly forgotten just how annoying young cats can be. And in the 'Most Annoying Young Cat' league tables, I'm certain Yogi would be in the top 5% of high achievers. He's fine when he's asleep though. And when he's eating. And when he's out, I can handle him when he's out. Do I sound like a grumpy old biddy? Tangle says I do. But it's alright for her, she can keep up with him! Still, on the plus side, he does have the fun factor. I mean, the entertainment value of watching the folks deal with the latest long, fat, blubbery, wiggling, mud-covered earthworm deposited in the hall by an over-enthusiastic Yogi cannot be underestimated. Or trying to guess how long it will take them to find the bathplug after Yogi has played with it overnight, and deposited it somewhere unexpected and inappropriate (the best place so far being in our human of the female variety's slipper). And then there's that weird thing he does with his tail. I still can't fathom how he does that. I hope the folks can get a photo of it one day. So why, you may ask, if he's so entertaining, do I find him so annoying? Could it be because he's also a boistrous, cheeky, all-over-the-place, into-everything, confident little know-it-all who nicks my biscuits and poo's in my litter tray? Well now, let me think about that... umm... yes!

Monday 22nd February - by Tangle & Yogi
Tangle: Hey Yogi, isn't it about time you put something in the diary?
Yogi: Me? But I already did! When I had my microchip, that went in the diary. See - I did it already, you just forgot. I'm off to get another worm now, see ya...
Tangle: Hold on! Not so fast 'Yogi-Pogi', that's not how diaries work. You don't just do one, and that's it. You have to do one every time something interesting happens. Gemini said so.
Yogi: Every time? I can't do that, I'd be here all day! If I took all day putting stuff in a diary, I wouldn't be out there having interesting things happen, would I?
Tangle: Yeah sure, but interesting things don't happen all the time, do they?
Yogi: Well they do to me. All the time. Every minute. Maybe every second. Well, except when I'm asleep, but the rest of the time. And even when I'm asleep I bet interesting things are still happening, just that I've got my eyes shut.
Tangle: Go on then... prove it! Just what are all these interesting things that happen to you then, eh? Go on, I'm all ears!
Yogi: Yeah, OK, I will. Right, so... I went on the upstairs windowsill (the small one), l jumped off, clawed the carpet, ran down the stairs, skidded down the hall and back, ran up the stairs, clawed the bed, jumped on the bed, went in the other windowsill (the big one), saw some birds, heard some biscuits, ate some biscuits, growled at Gemini, went out for a poo, chased the grey cat (you know, the one with the white socks), chased a pigeon (didn't catch it), had a drink out of the birds water bowl, jumped on the fence, heard a dog bark and jumped down again, ran in the garage, ran out of the garage, jumped on one of the outside chairs, made the catflap clatter, went on the fridge, knocked one of the magnets off (the one of Gromit), got fussed, played with that toy mouse with no tail, went on the kitchen windowsill, saw a bird on the fence, got my claws stuck in the net curtain, took the washing up sponge up the hall, found a catnip cushion in a shoe, ran up the...
Tangle: Yogi! OK, that's great, I get it, enough already! I didn't mean you to say everything interesting that ever happened to you, I only meant what happened today!
Yogi: I know. That's what I was doing! That was today... that was just the first twenty minutes after I woke up! Don't you want to hear the rest..? Tangle..? Where're you going..?

Thursday 18th February - by Tangle
Hey, that's not fair! I wish I hadn't told Yogi about the best stuff to bring in from the garden now. Especially not about feathers, which are absolutely the best thing to bring in. Trouble is there's not enough feathers for both of us, and that's not fair 'cos I discovered them first and now today he's gone and brought the best one in, and it would've been mine! Good job he's my chase-mate or I might get as grumpy with him as Gemini does. Well no, on second thoughts I don't think I could ever get as grumpy as Gemini does. She gets the right hump sometimes, over the silliest things. Like if she stares at Yogi and he stares back for too long, or like if Yogi tries to come in (or out) of the catflap while Gemini's standing guard by it, or like if Yogi's on the corner of the bed that she wants to go on, or... well, anything that Yogi does which she doesn't agree with basically! Mind you, he doesn't help himself, he only has to see her looking at him now and he hisses at her, and that's not the right way to get on her good side (and she does have a good side, you just have to know where to look). Anyway, Yogi brought the best feather in today, but I brought the best ones in both days before that, so I'm still winning. What about leaves you might ask? Oh no... leaves are sooooo last year!

Sunday 14th February - by Gemini
You know, I really thought Tangle had left her, ummm... 'rough' past behind her. I thought she'd listened to all my words of wisdom about how a lady should conduct herself. I even thought she'd started to model her New Self on me, (well, I am a shining example of feline perfectness after all, am I not?). But I was wrong, very wrong! There I was this morning, in the kitchen minding my own business (well, and minding Yogi's biscuit bowl too, but that's by the by), when suddenly from our living room came the most unsavoury tirade of feline-verbals that I've heard in my entire life! The sort of language, I suspect, that is rarely heard outside of the roughest of feral colonies. But in this case, it was coming straight from the dainty mouth of our very own, sweet natured, butter-wouldn't-melt Tangle cat. On closer investigation, it transpired that the target of her foul-mouthed attack was the black-and-white intruder cat looking longingly at her from the other side of my sunbathing window, (the same black and white cat who I've chased up our fence on many occasion). He's been nosing round here a lot lately, I notice. Yes, well, it may be valentine's day, but surely he can tell that Tangle is spayed? Well either way, it seems she's not keen on his attentions, to put it mildly. So, I think it's time I taught Tangle the proper, ladylike way to deal with such ruffians. One should not lower ones-self to yowling abuse like some common alleycat. No, one should simply charge out through the catflap, chase him across the patio, corner him by the water butt and box his ears! Shouldn't one?

Thursday 11th February - by Tangle
Oh no! We got more snow! We've got loads of it too, and now I can't get to any of my poo-ing places (which is the worst thing about snow). It was so deep this morning that all the garden bowls were buried too, and the folks had to dig them out (that's our outdoor drinking bowl by the water butt, the birds' bowl under the bird table and the bowl by the pond specially reserved for the Kent Starlings Freestyle Swimming Club). So anyway, with all my poo-ing places covered up, what was I to do? When a girl's gotta poo a girl's gotta poo, even if that means using the boys' loo (Yogi's litter tray). It's not as posh as the girls' loo, ours is a proper litter-house with a roof, but Yogi just has a regular tray in a cardboard box with the end cut off (off the box, not off the tray). Still it's better than getting my belly cold looking for buried poo-ing places out in the garden. Yogi's getting used to the litter-tray etiquette round here. Well he's had to, because if he gets it wrong Gemini biffs him round the ear. Me and Gemini have always shared our litter-house, but when Yogi came that's when we got the boys' loo as well, but luckily Gemini already had House Rules on that (and if she hadn't she'd have made some up). So the rules are; Yogi's only allowed to use the boys' loo, I'm allowed to use both but I'm only to use Yogi's if Gemini doesn't want to use it, and Gemini's allowed to use either, whenever she feels like it. Sound familiar? Yeah, I thought it did too. Anyhow, if anyone out there knows about filing, can you let me know if I go under 'C' for cat or 'T' for Tangle?

Monday 8th February - by Tangle and Yogi
Tangle: Hey Yogi! Where've you been then? I bet I know. I saw you going off in that cat carrier. I bet you've been to the vets. You smell like you've been to the vets. I bet you did, didn't you?
Yogi: Yeah, but I wasn't... I mean, they just... well there I was on the stairs one minute, and then the next minute I got grabbed and the next minute after that I'm in a box, and then I'm going along, like moving, and the next thing I know I'm in the vets!
Tangle: Thought so. And I bet I know what happened then. I bet he stuck a thing in your neck, didn't he? I bet he did Yogi, he did though, didn't he?
Yogi: Yes, he did! I didn't know what was going on, it just happened so quick. So, how come you know what he did?
Tangle: And I bet I know what happened after that too. I bet he waved a wand and it went 'Bleep!'. Didn't it Yogi? I bet it did, didn't it?
Yogi: You're right it did. It went 'Bleep!' just like you said. So what's that then, and how come you know all about it?
Tangle: Well, the same thing happened to me after I came here last year. As soon as I got my proper name, that was it - vets... neck... wand.. 'bleep'! What that means is you've been microchipped! And what that means is that you're going to be staying here, like properly. And what that means is that we can carry on playing. And what that means is... Gotcha! You're it! Can't catch me! Byeeeee....

Sunday 7th February - by Tangle
No, no... not worms! What's that Yogi like? How could he possibly think I meant worms! What I said to him was, now that he's got the hang of the catflap, and now that he's going outside, what he should do is bring the folks something nice in from the garden. I told him, that's what I do and the folks love it, but what I meant was things like leaves, or pond weed, or sticks, or maybe the occasional feather, you know - nice stuff. But instead he's gone and brought them worms - horrid, squirmy, gooey six-inch worms from out of the dirt! I thought he'd just made a mistake by bringing one in on Friday, but he brought another one in last night, every bit as long and squirmy and gooey as Friday's worm. Not only that, but it looked like he'd chewed their ends too, so they weren't even nice, happy, whole worms. Are all boy-cats this disgusting? I don't think the folks were impressed. They put them straight out in the front garden (Yogi isn't allowed out the front yet). At least they seemed to like my leaves enough to keep some of them. I don't think they want to keep worms. They certainly won't want to press them, frame them and hang them on the wall, that's for sure. I do love Yogi though. I think he loves me too. When I get to know him better I'm going to find out how he does that thing with his tail. That's just toooo weird!

Wednesday 3rd February - by Tangle & Gemini... and introducing Yogi
Tangle: At Last! Hey Gemini, did you hear... New Cat, Black Cat's finally got a name!
Gemini: Yes, and about time too. I've never known something so simple take so long. It's taken two whole weeks and literally dozens of possible names to come up with this. Still better late than never I suppose.
Tangle: It's quite a neat name I reckon, but... why Yogi?
Gemini: No idea. I doubt it's anything to do with bears. Maybe it's something to do with that weird bendy thing he does with his tail.
Tangle: Yeah, that is a bit weird, isn't it? I wonder how he does that. My tail doesn't go like that. Oh well, whatever. Hey... Yogi! Yogi! Chase me! Chase me!

Monday 1st February - by Gemini & Tangle
Gemini: Listen Tangle, I think you're taking your 'good cop' role a little too far. I mean, all this noozling up to Black Cat in the hallway might make it look as though you really liked him or something!
Tangle: Well I do like him. He's good fun, he is. He's great at chasing. And have you seen how fast he goes down the stairs too? He flies over the last four without touching them, like he's Superman or something. And when he gets hold of that Da Bird toy, well I've never seen anything like it, he's amazing, it's like...
Gemini: Stop, stop, stop! Just listen to yourself! Can't you see what he's doing - he's bamboozling you with his craftly little I'm-just-a-playful-little-black-cat routine, hoping that you'll end up liking him and he'll end up staying here for good, that's what he's doing.
Tangle: Yeah, well maybe he is. Can't blame him though, can you? I'd do the same if I were him. Anyway, what's all this 'good cop' business?
Gemini: Well, I thought that's what we were doing, playing good-cop-bad-cop. You know, me playing the Bad Cop, doing the growling and the clever interrogation, looking all cool and menacing while you play Good Cop, coming over all chummy and lulling him into a false sense of security so that he spills the beans about what he's up to. Isn't that what we were doing?
Tangle: Crikey! And there's me thinking you were just being grumpy and I was just being friendly. But... if that's what we have been doing then I reckon being Good Cop is loads more fun. Couldn't we both be Good Cops?
Gemini: What? No, of course not, that's not how it works at all! You know your problem Tangle, you're just too nice!
Tangle: Am I? Errr... right... thanks. (thinks: was that a compliment?)

Friday 29th January - by Gemini
Well, Tangle was right about one thing, I have found a much better napping place than my old Special Cushion. She was however, wrong about me wanting to write about it. No - I thought it would make much more sense just to show the photographic evidence! So here, in order of appearance we have: (1) Tangle on my old Special Cushion (well, she's welcome to that now), then (2) Black Cat (still no name) in Tangle's old bed, which he's nicked from her (which was mine before Tangle nicked it from me), and (3) well, what can I say? Is that not the fluffiest, snuggliest, gorgeous-est, most perfect thing you ever saw? And the fluffy foot-cube isn't bad either! (yes it is faux fur in case you're wondering, it's only us cats who wear the fur round here). Snooze-tastic!

Wednesday 27th January - by Tangle
I wish New Cat would hurry up and get a name. He's been here a week now, and I can't call him 'oi, you!' forever, can I? Specially not now we're on chasing terms. He's great at chasing, and even better, he's great at being chased! I've tried to get Gemini to chase me but she reckons it's a waste of energy. The only time she ever does proper chasing these days is when she sees off intruders from the garden, then you should see her move! So, me and New Cat, Black Cat, Whatever-his-name-is, we chase up the stairs, down the stairs, down the hall and around the corner into the living room (that's the skiddy bit), then we chase either behind the curtains, or up on the coffee table or along the back of the sofa (sometimes all three), then we do 'stalking' round the furniture. I've never had someone to properly play with before, so I hope he stays. I'm trying to teach him how to use the catflap, but he's not really getting the hang of it yet. He's been out in the garden a couple of times with me and the folks, but they opened the door for him those times so that's cheating. He puts his paw on the flap, but he can't get the pushing bit. Gemini says it's because he's a boy so he won't have read the instructions. Oh yeah - and he's nicked my bed! That's OK though, I don't mind, I've nicked Gemini's special cushion. And now Gemini doesn't mind that because she's found somewhere even better, only I'm not allowed to say what that is, (I think Gemini wants to write about her new place). And here's a funny thing, since I've had New Cat / Black Cat to chase I've been forgetting to bring any leaves in! I hope the folks aren't too upset.

Monday 25th January - by Gemini
Well he's still here. Temporary, or maybe-not-temporary cat is still at large around Cat Chat Towers in all his little-black-catness. See, there he is nosing about in my cupboard under the stairs, supervised very closely by yours truly of course. Tangle and I are taking it in turns to keep a very close eye on him in fact, sometimes too close for his own comfort it seems. Oh, he makes out he's all bold and fearless but as soon as either of us come within a couple of cats-lengths of him, he's throwing hisses around like a proper little scaredy cat. Yes, you did read that correctly, he is hissing at us, not the other way round. Well, lets face it, me and Tangle don't need to hiss, it's two-against-one for a start. Plus both of us girls are bigger than him, older than him and definitely smarter than him, so he doesn't stand a chance against us really, does he? One bonus is that he came complete with his own snuggly cat bed, so naturally I've commandeered that. I have my own bed of course, but one can never have too many napping options in my opinion and there's nothing like nicking someone else's bed to show who's boss! Some people have asked if he has a name - well he arrived complete with one of those too, but I am not, no way, no how, calling him that, it's waaaay too embarrassing! Anyway if he's not staying it won't matter, and if he is staying he'll get a new name anyway. Hmmmm... if he doesn't stay, I hope he leaves his snuggly cat-bed behind. Selfish..? Moi..? As if!

Friday 22nd January - by Gemini
OK, so here's how it's supposed to go: New Cat arrives in a cat carrier. New cat gets installed in the spare room, (all fine so far). New Cat stays in the spare room for a respectable time, a few days at least, getting used to the sounds of the house, the smells, the food, the folks, you know... all the stuff of a new place. Then New Cat is supposed to tentatively start taking an interest in what might lay beyond the spare room, maybe having a little sniff under the door, that sort of thing. And then what's supposed to happen is that the folks start opening the door just a wee bit to let New Cat see the Established Cat(s) and vice versa, with a few treats involved on both sides, or maybe a little shoelace game (depending on the hiss-and-growl level). You see, I know the drill! I've been the Established Cat enough times now to know how it's supposed to work. The trouble is the New Cat who arrived on Wednesday doesn't know the drill, and has no interest whatsoever of learning the drill, and seems to have no concept of the words 'respectable' and 'tentative'. He has in fact managed in two days flat to completely throw the New Cat / Established Cat rulebook out of the window (well, not literally). So that's how come he's already strolling round the upstairs like he's been here forever looking fearless and bold, nipping up onto the folks' bed for a nap, oblivious to my Established Cat growls and (due to the fact that Tangle turned her nose up at it) sharing my chip-shop-fish! So is he a Temporary Cat? I still don't know for sure, but he's certainly not acting like one!

Wednesday 20th January - by Tangle and Gemini
Tangle: Gemini! Did you see that? Did you though, did you see it?
Gemini: Yes of course I saw it! What are they thinking? We don't need another cat! I mean... what are they thinking!
Tangle: I dunno. I mean, I thought it was just you and me, like you know, 'girl power' and all that. Umm...listen, you don't think he's come here to live do you?
Gemini: That I don't know young Tangle, but I intend to find out. I've heard the folks talk before about 'fostering', so maybe... well, he might just be a temporary cat. We've had one of those here before, a temporary cat. He stayed for a few months and then went off to live somewhere else. He could be one of those.
Tangle: Oh! I thought temporary was shorter than that! I mean... I'm not a temporary cat, am I?
Gemini: No, of course you're not Tangle, you're family!
Tangle: Yeah, but look, he's in my old room though, isn't he?And my wiggly waggler's in there. I hope he's clean. I don't want my old room all messed up and smelly, do I?
Gemini: Well, from what little I saw of him this morning, he didn't look dirty, and he didn't smell smelly. Listen Tangle... If he's not a temporary cat, if it turns out he has come here to stay, you know we'll both have to boss him about don't you? Boy cats need keeping in their place or they get unbearable, you do know that, don't you? Do you think you're ready for that?
Tangle: Oh yeah, I'm ready alright! I'll just copy how you bossed me about, I can do that, no worries.
Gemini: That's my girl!

Friday 15th January - by Tangle
You know how some days just carry on like normal (and a bit boring) and then all of a sudden you get days where things just happen? Well that's what this week did, the first couple of days were just like normal (and a bit boring, well, apart from my feather), but then all of a sudden we had days where things happen. I started going on laps, and I found out about taramasalata (lick-tastic!), and I discovered what's inside a toilet roll! No... but, listen... about the laps thing, I didn't mean to go on one, well not at first. I wasn't due to go on a lap til June (going by the Colonel Beau theory), but I was up on the desk and the lap was just right there, so I nipped onto it without really thinking. Well then I got a big fuss and it made my purrs go up to number 11, so now I've been on that lap three days running! Only for a minute or two mind, but that's a lot when you didn't mean to do it at all. Anyway, now I'm thinking maybe the Colonel's theory might be wrong, and maybe I could go on laps any old time like Gemini does. Gemini said the folks like me going on their laps, but I don't get how that works, I mean why would anyone want to be sat on? Well, even Gemini couldn't answer that one, she said they just did, people were funny and we just have to accept it. So anyway, listen - how many cats out there have stuck their paw down the hole in the middle of a toilet roll? Not many, I bet. Well I did, and d'you know what's in there? Absoutely nothing is what. It's just a hole all the way through from one end to the other. What a con!

Monday 11th January - by Gemini
I still haven't managed to fathom out what Tangle's reasons are for bringing outdoor stuff indoors, but today she increased her repertoire. Thus far she's brought in leaves with slugs on, leaves without slugs on, pond weed and the occasional stick, (although the sticks only make it as far as just outside the catflap on account of her trying to bring them in sideways). Today however, to the folks delight (?) she brought in a seagull's feather. Not an elegant, long, silky white seagull feather either, or one still attached to a seagull (now that would have impressed me!), but no, neither of those things. Tangle brought in the mankiest, dirtiest, been-stuck-in-the-muck-under-the-snow-for-a-week old feather with bits missing and no seagull attached. I mean honestly, what's the use of that? The seagull obviously had no use for it either, so what she thinks our folks want with it is beyond me. Still, it keeps her happy. And the folks made a fuss of her anyway and told her they'd save it for later, even though it's odds-on to end up in the bin when she's not looking, (mind you, it might get pressed, framed and hung on the wall, you never can tell with our folks). Anyway... hold on... did I just waste a whole diary on Tangle's manky old feather? Oh goodness me, I really must get out more. And I will too... when the snow's gone.

Friday 8th January - by Tangle
So, errrm... this here snow... does anyone know how much longer it's going to be here? I don't want to sound all moany like Gemini or anything but I think we've had it for long enough now and, well, it's sort of in the way. I liked it in the beginning when we had the first lot before Christmas, when it was all new and exciting. Before that I'd only ever seen snow when I was in the rescue, so I'd never been properly out in it, you know, like walking in it, making holes in it, having my feet go all tingly in it, getting it in my fur and licking it off after, so all that was great... at first. Only this is the third lot we've had since then and this is the deepest lot yet, and I've only got little legs and it goes right up to my belly, and the thing is - this snow's in the way of all my best poo-ing places! The folks've cleared the snow off bits of the garden, like round the pond where the birds' water dishes go, and under the bird table where the chips and sponge cake go (don't ask), but they haven't cleared the snow off my poo-ing places. Their problem I suppose is they don't know where my best poo-ing places are, and my problem is I do know where they are, but right now they're all under the snow! I had to poo in the weed borders under the ivy today, and that can't be right, can it?

Tuesday 5th January - by Tangle
I think Gemini loves me on the quiet, I do, honest! I heard the folks saying the other day, "She'd never have let Colonel Beau get away with that!". Well I don't know about that, but she does let me get away with a lot, well, like taking over her favourite cushion for a kick off. I thought she only let me stay on there at Christmas as a special favour, but now I'm on there every night, and she's just been letting me! I don't just mean I go on there for a bit either, I mean she lets me sleep on it all night. Last night was the fourth night running I've slept on there, and Gemini's been sleeping on the armchair by the side of it, so it looks like Gemini's special cushion might be becoming Tangle's special cushion. Oh yeah - and today she noozled me! Up until now it's always been me doing the noozling, but today she did it to me - just like I was her proper friend or something. The folks could hardly believe it. And she hadn't been on the Bailey's either (the folks finished that up at New Year, so she won't get another lick of that 'til next Christmas). I love Gemini, I do. I'm going to be like her when I'm an old biddy like she is. Well not exactly like her, I mean I won't be a tabby, but I'm going to be smart like her, and sophisticated... and know-it-all, and grumpy-when-I-feel-like-it, and confident, and contented, and a bit selfish, and a bit lazy and most importantly... totally in charge of everything! Gemini says it'll take years of practise to get as good as her at all those things. She also said if I'm really lucky she might even teach me how to drink out of the tap. Now how uber-cool would that be?

Sunday 3rd January - by Gemini
Never let it be said that I, Gemini Cat, her Tabby Gorgeousness, doesn't do playing. I can and do play, it's just that when it comes to cat toys I've 'been there and done that' for over fourteen years, so these days I'm rather more, ummm... selective about what I choose to play with. Unlike Tangle, who will play with absolutely anything that wiggles... as our human of the female variety found out last night when she stupidly left her toes sticking out over the edge of the sofa. As Tangle quite rightly pointed out after they'd finished mopping up the blood, those toes were asking for it. Anyway, back to my point about selective playing, I'd like to say, for the benefit of humans living with cats-in-double-figures such as myself, that there are toys... and then there are Toys! Take this catnip mouse for example, now that's a Toy. So... how do humans tell which are just toys and which are Toys? Well, sadly they can't tell, the human brain isn't nearly advanced enough for that. So the take-home message for humans owned by the more mature cat is - just keep trying - sooner or later you're bound to find a toy that appeals to your cat, whatever their age. And the take-home message for our folks is - keep your toes to yourself!

Friday 1st January 2010 (00.20 am) - by Gemini & Tangle
Tangle: Happy New Year!! (and guess what - I'm on Gemini's special cushion... again)
Gemini: Happy New Year!! (and guess what, that Tangle's on my special cushion again... but I can't turf her off on New Year... can I...?)

Wednesday 30th December - by Tangle
There was me thinking I'd got to know the Top Ten places to sit in this house, and I definitely thought I knew what was the number one spot, but now it turns out I didn't know at all! Ever since I've lived here I thought Gemini's special cushion was top of the pops, so I didn't go on it for ages, I didn't dare. Anyway, now I've been on it a few times (and that's a few more times than her previous housemates, apparently), it turns out it's only in third place! No wonder she let me sleep on it all evening at Christmas without moaning. Now, I don't really get why, but according to Gemini the number 1 and 2 spots to sit are on the folks laps. So all the while she was making out she was being kind and generous letting me be on her cushion, she didn't really care because she was getting fussed on a lap! Well I don't mind that, she's much better at laps than me. I've only been on one properly once, and she goes on there all the time (well, all the time one's sat still anyway). I don't understand what's so special about laps. They aren't fluffy, they're not particularly soft and they always seem to be shifting around. Not like cushions. You can rely on cushions. Gemini said the late Colonel Beau used to sit on a lap once a year, whether they deserved it or not. I reckon he knew a thing or two that Colonel, (despite what Gemini says about his braincell), and if it's good enough for a Colonel it's good enough for me. So by that reckoning, I should be due to go on a lap again... in... ummm... June!

Boxing Day - by Gemini
I do hope everyone had a lovely Christmas day! I certainly did. Starting with a nice lie in with the folks (with me in the middle, naturally), then a smashing bit of coley fish for lunch (two helpings, as Tangle turned her nose up at it!). We had some lovely new chicken treats in our stockings too, which actually tasted like chicken, and later I had my special Christmas-only treat of a little lick of Baileys off the folks fingers. Toys? Oh yes, we got some new toys too, but I'm letting Tangle test drive them first before I put any serious effort in. Well, the way I figure it, I put in just as much energy watching her skidding round the floor chasing catnip mice as she does actually doing the skidding round. Now at the risk of sounding immodest it has to be said that I went above and beyond last night living up to the "I've been a Good Cat" motto on our new Christmas stockings. This is not something I intend making a habit of you understand, but seeing as it's Tangle's first Christmas here I let her spend the whole evening on my Special Cushion. I didn't growl or grumble, I just graciously allowed her to stay there - all the way from the start of Dr. Who to the end of the DVD the folks put on later due to their being 'nothing worth watching' on any of the umpteen channels available these days. Now, if that's not being a Good Cat, I don't know what is! Or... maybe... can just one little lick of Baileys make you go soppy in the head?

Christmas Eve - by Tangle
I dunno what's been up with our folks the last few weeks, but I do know our human of the female variety has needed lots more cuddles. But that's OK, I'm good at cuddles... and noozles... and face-licks. Well anyway, I think I've finally cheered her up becuase she got the tinsel box out this morning and started hanging it up round the place. Anyway I couldn't help noticing that this is the very same tinsel I sat in back in the summer for the picture on our Christmas card, which is also the very same tinsel Gemini refused point blank to sit in back in the summer. But this morning... Gemini... (cantankerous old biddy that she is), decides that in fact she's more than happy to sit in the tinsel, right when the folks want to hang it round the walls, and in fact to sit in it for four hours! You have to admire her, I mean she's just soooo in charge. I'm learning fast though - the other day one of the folks had left their jeans and t-shirt on the bed while they were in the shower. Well I did what Gemini would've done (if she'd been there, only she was under her radiator), I sat on the jeans and curled up pretending to be asleep. And guess what - it worked - they didn't move me off, they went and found a different pair of jeans to wear instead! Gemini said that was a good lesson in Human Management, and gave me an A-minus. She said I could've got an A-plus if I'd curled up on the t-shirt and the jeans at the same time. I can do that - that'll be my new years resolution!

Wednesday 17th December
Apologies for the lack of diary entries at present. This is due to a family bereavement. Normal reports will resume as soon as possible.