Hello
I recently posted on the bereavement forum about losing my cat Presley in July.
I would appreciate your advice on how to handle a neighbour's cat, Toby, that has been coming into the house for some time now . Presley tolerated Toby, I think because their territories overlapped so much and also because Toby knew his place and was totally submissive and never have fought back.
There are two issues at the moment:
The first is that in the past number of weeks Toby has started catching birds in my garden, he never did this before. While he catches them he doesn't kill them just plays with them. In both cases, I have managed to rescue the birds and put them out of harms way in the cat box in the garage, however both have died shortly after. Presley never caught anything so to now have birds being harmed in the garden at this particular time is a bit upsetting. I appreciate that I may be being a bit oversensitive but I would really appreciate advice on how to handle this. I have removed all the bird food to stop attracting the birds, but worry now he's started he will keep doing this.
The second is that I am not sure if I should let him in the house so much (he comes in for most of the day to sleep and is put out in the evening when the cat flap is boarded up (its the only way to keep him out), if in the future I get another cat. Toby in the past has tended to stay outside his own house, so I have been surprised at how much he wants to stay in my house ( I have let his owners know where he is, in fact last week I advised them that he was not well and needed to see a vet). Am I storing up trouble for myself, again I would appreciate any advice on the best way to handle this. I should confess that I feed Toby, I used to do this outside and he would go away, now he comes inside. I appreciate that I am the cause of this problem but need advice on how I should correct this.
Presley was my first cat so I don't have much experience with cats other than him.
I would appreciate any advice received
Many thanks
Ali
Neighbour's cat taking over
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Ruth B
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Re: Neighbour's cat taking over
I think you really need to decide soon what to do about Toby, the longer you leave it the more he will get his paws under your table.
Firstly the bird problem. Unfortunately there is little that you can do to stop him catching them except do everything to dissuade them from coming into the garden. The one change you might want to do is get another box you can use a a bird recovery place, the cat box will still smell very strongly of cat and I don't know if being put in an area with that strong smell would affect the birds. it could be they are still stressed thinking the cat is still nearby ready to attack again.
Secondly I would suggest having a good discussion with Toby's owners. Is there a reason you felt the need to feed him, is his own house busy and full of children, do they shut him out during the day when they are at work? Basically try and work out why he turns to you rather than to his own home. If he really is unhappy at home then are you willing to take him on full time and would they be willing to let you. Otherwise I think you need to stop feeding him and block the catflap permanently (or at least until you get another cat). You will also need to tell his owners that you have been feeding him and that you are stopping so they will understand why he is suddenly more hungry. I'm not saying don't give him a fuss and attention outside, but he needs to know that your house is not his territory otherwise if you do get another cat you could be opening yourself up to some real problems.
Firstly the bird problem. Unfortunately there is little that you can do to stop him catching them except do everything to dissuade them from coming into the garden. The one change you might want to do is get another box you can use a a bird recovery place, the cat box will still smell very strongly of cat and I don't know if being put in an area with that strong smell would affect the birds. it could be they are still stressed thinking the cat is still nearby ready to attack again.
Secondly I would suggest having a good discussion with Toby's owners. Is there a reason you felt the need to feed him, is his own house busy and full of children, do they shut him out during the day when they are at work? Basically try and work out why he turns to you rather than to his own home. If he really is unhappy at home then are you willing to take him on full time and would they be willing to let you. Otherwise I think you need to stop feeding him and block the catflap permanently (or at least until you get another cat). You will also need to tell his owners that you have been feeding him and that you are stopping so they will understand why he is suddenly more hungry. I'm not saying don't give him a fuss and attention outside, but he needs to know that your house is not his territory otherwise if you do get another cat you could be opening yourself up to some real problems.
Re: Neighbour's cat taking over
Hi Ruth, many thanks for your advice, I really appreciate it.
First off I see what you mean about the cat box, I will get another box to use in case there are more birds, hopefully not, fingers crossed. Garden is a lot quieter without the bird food out. A neighbour had to do something similar when Toby started sitting below a tree in which she had bird food hanging.
With regards Toby, I started feeding him because I thought he was a stray. Then found out he lived three doors down. His owner told me at the time he wanted out all the time (there's at least three kids plus a dog in the house) and also that he was a very greedy cat, always looking for food. When I called at the house last week, I did ask them if he still came into their house, and they said yes he would call in to see if there was food but was out most of the time.
It used to be when I fed him outside that he would then just go away, but I have let this go too far and need to nip it in the bud now. I am going to start with boarding up the cat flap but still feed him outside, then gradually reduce this, so he doesn't have to go cold turkey all at once.
Many thanks for your help.
Ali
First off I see what you mean about the cat box, I will get another box to use in case there are more birds, hopefully not, fingers crossed. Garden is a lot quieter without the bird food out. A neighbour had to do something similar when Toby started sitting below a tree in which she had bird food hanging.
With regards Toby, I started feeding him because I thought he was a stray. Then found out he lived three doors down. His owner told me at the time he wanted out all the time (there's at least three kids plus a dog in the house) and also that he was a very greedy cat, always looking for food. When I called at the house last week, I did ask them if he still came into their house, and they said yes he would call in to see if there was food but was out most of the time.
It used to be when I fed him outside that he would then just go away, but I have let this go too far and need to nip it in the bud now. I am going to start with boarding up the cat flap but still feed him outside, then gradually reduce this, so he doesn't have to go cold turkey all at once.
Many thanks for your help.
Ali