Accidental death - heartbroken

Help & Support for those who have lost a beloved cat
Lorrie
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Accidental death - heartbroken

Postby Lorrie » Fri Jul 08, 2016 6:27 pm

We adopted the sweetest baby tuxedo kitties three months ago- two brothers who quickly became the light of our lives. They were inseparable and loved each other so much. This week my son came home from school to find that Buddy had gotten hung up in blind cords and had strangled to death. I had set the cords up very high and tried to conceal them in a sock--but it was so STUPID to have them in the house and I can never ever forgive myself for it. My entire family is devastated. I have experienced loss in many ways- including a parent and many beloved pets, but nothing has ever felt so overwhelmingly heart breaking. All my other experiences with death and grief involved illness- and so there was some time to prepare, and some feeling that you did not want the pet/person to suffer. Now I feel responsible for the death of this little one that I should have protected, and the harm I have caused my own children in having to experience this, and of course the sorrow for Beaux, who is left behind. I would give anything to turn back time and make a different decision and rip the blinds out and throw them away. We are spending round the clock time with Beaux and he seems ok- eating, purring, playing. My son is off to a grief therapist. We discussed getting a new playmate/ kitten to help with the loss- interested in hearing other's opinions. I have two older cats who are sedentary- Beaux hisses at them and I have been working on trying to condition them to accept each other. This is all so so hard. Thank you in advance for any advice.

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bobbys girl
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Re: Accidental death - heartbroken

Postby bobbys girl » Fri Jul 08, 2016 8:12 pm

Oh Lorrie, I am so, so sorry. I know exactly what you are going through right now and it is something you would not wish on your worst enemy.

This time last week we had put our 'pet' Jackdaw to bed in his hutch and secured a screen over the wire mesh. Saturday morning the mesh was torn down and Kafka was mortally injured. He hung on long enough to get him to the vets but they could not save him. The injuries were horrific and will live in our memories forever. We had only had him a month (we rescued him after he fell out of the nest and his parents deserted him). My OH and I were so attatched to him and he adored my husband.

I still can't believe that something so awful could happen when we had taken every precaution, just like you did. I don't know what else we could have done, but it doesn't help the guilt and the pain of such a loss.

My only, small comfort is that it could not have been one of our cats as the girls were in all night and Bob could never have torn down the cover and grabbed Kafka when he only has one front leg.

It won't be easy and it will take time. But it will get better - at least that's what I keep telling myself.

I really can't advise as whether you should get another kitten right now. Beaux is a young, healthy kitten. He is resilient and will quickly get over the loss of a sibling. I wish it was so for us. I wish you the wisdom to say what your son needs to hear and send you all ((hugs)).

Sue xx

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Crewella
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Re: Accidental death - heartbroken

Postby Crewella » Sat Jul 09, 2016 11:47 am

I'm so very sorry to hear what happened. It was an accident, pure and simple, but I know how I would feel and you just can't help but feel guilty when something like this happens. You did try to protect them, you did see a danger and try to do something about it, so please don't be too hard on yourself. Hindsight can be so cruel. Sending hugs to you and your family (((hugs)))

.... and to Sue and her OH (((hugs)))

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Mayday21
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Re: Accidental death - heartbroken

Postby Mayday21 » Tue Jul 12, 2016 9:40 pm

Hi Lorrie as Crewella says it was an unfortunate accident. Good to see your sons seeing a grief therapist perhaps it may help you too. We try to wrap our fur babes in cotton wool but we can't see all possible obstacles & you tried to risk manage. Be kind to yourself. And hugs to you & Sue as well. Vivian


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