«« Go to Current Diary Page ««

Sunday 29 February ~ by George
I'm beginning to think we've all been swindled over this 'extra day', due to it being a leap year. I mean, if this really is an extra day then today wouldn't be a Sunday would it? Here's my logic: if yesterday was Saturday (which it was) and tomorrow's going to be Monday (which I am assured it will be), then this is just a regular Sunday, and not an extra day at all. If it was really an extra day, then tomorrow would be Sunday and today would be called something else entirely! Either that, or we'd have two Sundays, but we haven't. I was looking forward to having an extra day, and now I don't know where it's gone! I decided to do some serious 'sprawling' instead (see photo), and contemplate my Notable Things. Notable good thing: no more cat food with vegetables in. Notable not-so-good thing: still no frogs yet. Notable interesting thing: I now have 15 whiskers in my whisker collection tin.

Saturday 28 February ~ by Gemini
I think the folks are finally wising up to our gastronomic preferences. We've made it perfectly plain for some time now that we are not keen on cat food with vegetables in, and though I hate to see any food go to waste, even I have been forced to walk away and leave it in disgust. So finally today, they gathered up all the 'with veg' sachets and gave them away to our friend Man in Socks for his cat, who obviously has strange taste and doesn't mind eating peas and carrots, (yyyeeeurgghh!). I always say voting with your paws eventually gets results, and I'm usually right. And if that wasn't good enough news, this afternoon there was a trifle in the making. Trifle in the making, means custard in the pot. And custard in the pot as any smart cat knows, has no calories. What a bonus. I got to lick the pot and the wooden spoon. Double bonus!

Friday 27 February ~ by George
This nice lady in Wales sent us some snow today. I was amazed actually, she'd mentioned on the Forum yesterday that they had tons of snow, so I asked if we could have some, and Hey Presto! First thing this morning, there it was! It wasn't as good as the lot we had a few weeks ago though, this lot had practically all melted by the afternoon, but it's the thought that counts. I got blamed for something I did today, which I suppose is better than getting blamed for something I didn't do. What was it? Oh, nothing drastic, just a pile of sick on the windowsill. It was mainly furball, but it had bits of biscuit mixed in (I can't help that, it just sort of happens). I did it last night whilst in my favourite spot behind the curtains, but they didn't find it until today, so it was nicely dried out by then. I don't know what the fuss is about, better out than in I say!

Thursday 26 February ~ by Gemini
Everything was all up in a heaval today. I wondered what on earth was going on, and I still don't exactly know what it was all about, but it went roughly like this: The big wardrobe got dismantled and dumped in the garage, the filing cabinet got moved to where the wardrobe was, the Cat Chat t-shirt boxes got moved to where the filing cabinet was, drawers got emptied, drawers got filled, cupboards got emptied, cupboards got filled, I got confused, and then all the left over bits got put under the stairs. Spring cleaning perhaps? Or maybe it was their idea of Feng Shui. But why do people need so much stuff? I un-confused myself just in time to realise that the new layout of 'stuff' under the stairs needed inspecting. Here I am carrying out a full under-stairs investigation.

Wednesday 25 February ~ by George
Well I am now completely boggled by our new Forum, where I didn't think I was boggled at all yesterday. I did this nice little profile of me, and added one of my best photos, and there it was all wonderful one minute, and then gone the next! (I think my microchip must be playing up.) So, after much scratching of heads, (the folks heads not mine), I decided to leave them to it and come back later. Lucky I did, because I wouldn't have known about the fish! Sneakily, without telling us, they'd been defrosting some frozen fish for themselves (not for us, can you believe that!?). Defrosting fishy things always leaves a nice sort of 'soup', which I love. As you can see, I'm pretty good at cleaning plates in such circumstances!

Tuesday 24 February ~ by Gemini
The local birds continue to use our pond as a free bathroom. There were at least six of them in there today splashing around to their heart's content. They'll have to make the most of it while they can, it won't be long before the frogs take it over and fill it with frog spawn. This will mean not only that the water will be all sticky with that disgusting stuff, but it also means George will be spending half his day down there eating it, which is even more disgusting. Anyway, I had a 'hide and seek' sort of day today, starting with hiding from the folks, out in the garage. Since we've had the 'when is a car not a car?' thing in there, and the boxes of 'stuff' that came with it, it's virtually impossible for them to find me. And later I hid in one of the drawers under the bed. Unfortunately it's pretty easy for them to find me in there. Pillowcases aren't my best camouflage!

Monday 23 February ~ by George
Sorry Gemini, I need to do the diary today, I have important things to say. First of all I'd like to say 'Where are our frogs?'. I'm sure they're usually here by now, splashing around in our pond like loonies and bringing me frog-jelly to eat. And, we had a visitor today who said he had frog-jelly in his pond already, so it seems that some places get them earlier than others. Or it might just be that their flight got delayed. Oh, I've just checked last year's diary and they weren't here until the second of March. I personally think they should come this Sunday because we get an extra day and it's a Leap Year! (frogs... leap year... geddit? oh never mind). I also wanted to say how fantastic it was getting brushed with a hairbrush today. Combs are fine, but those round hairbrushes with the bobbles on the ends of the bristles are absolutely the best. Brush-tastic! I looked ever so handsome after, even more than normal and that's very handsome indeed (my email girlfriend told me so).

Sunday 22 February ~ by George
Well they're back, as predicted. And as predicted we allowed them loads of fussing with us to make up for not having fussed us for a couple of days. I figured something out this weekend which I used to my advantage on their return. Even though Next Door Lady comes in and feeds us every time the folks go away (and fusses us, and cleans my litter house!), I got to thinking that the folks can't know she does that. How can they know, they're somewhere else. So if they don't know we've been fed, then they must think we're starving. And if they think we're starving, then they wouldn't be surprised if I wailed for extra food on their return, (I do a very good line in 'look, I'm starving, poor little hungry George' type wails). I managed to get fed three times after they got back, even Gemini had enough and went off for a nap. Fed three times, and I wasn't even sick! It did make me very tired though, so I slept right through the folks putting the updated Forum on the site. So if it doesn't work, it's not my fault, I wasn't there, I was sleeping off all my dinners!

Friday / Saturday: Folks away, computer switched off, no diary, nothing we can do, our paws are tied (not literally!)

Thursday 19 February ~ by Gemini
Yes, yes, yes, it was all obvious to me what was happening today. The folks got out their 'small bags' which usually indicates that they're going off somewhere and we're being left in charge, (this is better than the 'Large Bag' scenario, which indicates them going off somewhere and us being left in the cattery!). Then out came our 'spaceship' feeder, which typically gets filled with food and lasts until Next Door Lady comes in and takes over feeding duties. We'll be OK, she feeds us far too much, but it must be awful for the folks being away from us. Poor things, still, we always allow them a good fuss when they return!

Wednesday 18 February ~ by George
I know I've been smarter since being filled with technology by my microchip, but I didn't realise quite how smart. It's possible that I might have been smarter all along of course, and the microchip just brought out my true potential. So anyway, just how smart am I these days? Well, get this, I've got a degree! (Yes, that smart!). One of the rescue centres emailed to say I had a Degree of Maturity! How cool and smart is that? I don't know if it means I'll be getting a certificate for the wall, or a visit from the Queen or something. What I do know is I'm going to be putting those letters after my name from now on. So forgetting all my middle names, in short I'll be: Professor George Cat, D.O.M., Sounds impressive doesn't it?

Tuesday 17 February ~ by Gemini
There's been something strange in the air today, or perhaps in the rug, I'm not entirely sure. I started out thinking it was something to do with my fur, but the air or the rug is definitely to blame. The folks found it a little 'shocking' one way and another. Basically they kept getting tiny electric shocks when they stroked me, particularly if I was lying on my favourite rug. They'd be halfway through a good head-to-tail stroke and there'd be this little 'crackle' between me and their hand. Intriguing. I must remember to ask Marmaduke Cat for a scientific explanation. He's bound to know, and if he doesn't, he's good at making something up. But was this the most notable thing to happen today? Oh no, not by a long way - we had coley fish!

Monday 16 February ~ by George
Forget wash and go, I prefer poo and go! As I've said before (too often for Gemini's liking) I do so like my litter house, and take full advantage of it in the winter. I don't bother with it in the summer of course, I've got plenty of 'outside' places to go, like under our front tree, that's a good one. Anyway, 'Poo and Go' means sorting out my 'business' in the litter house, walking a few of the gravelly bits across the floor for effect, and then going outside afterwards. For some reason this really exasperates our folks, they seem to be of the opinion that if I'm going out anyway, why don't I do my 'business' ouside too? I suppose I could try explaining the finer points of seasonal toileting to them, but they'd never understand in a million years, being mere humans!

Sunday 15 February ~ by Gemini
For a while now I've been practising the subtle art of mug-butting, which is like headbutting but done to a mug. Preferably a mug full of tea or coffee, and ideally while a human is holding it. I like their little sqeals of shock when they realise I might just tip the whole thing out of their hand. I sometimes mug-butt a mug when it's on the table, but I prefer mug-butting in mid-air, far more potential for the 'slosh' effect on their jeans. I like mugs of water too, but for different reasons. Water from a mug tastes much nicer than water put down in our bowl, I can't stand that stuff! And if the mug's big enough I can practically get my whole face in it (see example!). I think this might be what they call a mug-shot.

Saturday 14 February ~ by George
I just had to do the diary today, even though Gemini's walked off in disgust and amazement at the reason why. She's just jealous, that's all, because I've got a Valentine and she hasn't. Naturally I sent my email girlfriend a Valentine's message today, being a romantic sort of a George, (as well as being tough, rugged, streetwise, and all those other things). But it was still a wonderful thing to have a message back from her saying that she'll always be my Valentine, isn't that great? Even though we've never actually met, we know we are made for each other, not least of all because of our shared love of smelly shoes. You have to have a shared interest to make a relationship last I think, and smelly shoes is as good as any. She said we were soulmates, but I think she meant sole-mates, (Heh, heh, heh!)

Friday 13 February ~ by George
Some people reckon Friday 13th is unlucky, but I say that's rubbish. There was nothing unlucky about today, no vets, no cattery, no vacuum cleaner, no dogs. In fact I thought it was quite a fun day all things considered. I'd got over my microchipping fatigue, and was full of beans today, so I took my energy out on the bathroom mat. Wrestling with the bathroom mat is like regular Rug Tug only slippier. The mat's white like me, so just in case it's not obvious, I'm the one with the black bits and tail!

Thursday 12 February ~ by Gemini
Microfilmed indeed! Yes, well, all I can say about being Microchipped is that it doesn't half make you tired the next day. Or maybe it was the worming pills we got given at the same time. Either way me and George just felt like crashing out today. Conveniently, the folks tend to leave the bed vacant for us during the daytime, so we took full advantage of that fact and stayed there for most of the day. I'd like to write about something more interesting that happened today, but the plain fact is that nothing interesting happened at all, and if it did, then it must have happened while I was asleep. It was probably one of those days where all the interesting things were happening to other cats instead. That's fine by me, after yesterday I needed a day of minimal excitement and maximum relaxation. And I do that so well too!

Wednesday 11 February ~ by George
I can't believe I got tricked again! Tricked and cornered and Microfilmed all in one day! Tricked by having the cat flap locked up while I wasn't paying attention, thus locking us in the house. By the time I realised the folks wanted to put me in the cat carrier, (about the same time that I realised Gemini had already been put in it), they'd already shut most of the doors in an effort to corner me. Not one to be easily cornered, I legged it behind the sofa. When that got moved I bolted into the office and squeezed down behind the desk. When they shut that door and moved the desk I finally had to admit defeat. Luckily it was a vet trip and not the cattery (phew!), which is where we got Microfilmed. Oh, sorry, Gemini's just pointed out that we were in fact Microchipped not filmed. Does that mean I'm technologically advanced now? Hey, I feel smarter already!

Tuesday 10 February ~ by Gemini
For the sake of the sanity of the public at large, I have forbidden George to write a diary until he stops going on about his civil liberties. I blame myself, he didn't know about those until yesterday's diary, and now he wants to know what his are, and how he can stop them from being infringed. He's convinced himself that having his liberties infringed will mean a trip to the vet. And worse, it took me all of last night to convince him that there were no monkeys in our garage. See what I have to put up with? I retreated to the office for the best part of today, to do my job as 'creative muse' (or mews), and left him to it. He ponders too much that boy. Too much pondering and not enough relaxing isn't good for the soul. Here's me on my favourite office rug looking gorgeous.

Monday 9 February ~ by Gemini
I still have nothing constructive to say about the almost-car in our garage, but I do think it is an infringement on my civil liberties. 'What?' 'Yes George, you've got civil liberties too, we all have'. Now where was I... oh yes, civil liberties. Not only is it taking up an area of the garage that I used to enjoy exploring, but I've even been shooed away from it, yes shooed away, in my own garage! Now if that's not a major infringement, then I'm a monkey's uncle. 'What?' 'Yes George, monkeys have civil liberties too'. Oh dear I've lost my thread now, I might have to talk about lunch instead. Actually, lunch was rather good today, it wasn't our regular stuff, we had a tray of 'posh nosh' for a change. I could get used to that, but I gather it's too expensive to... 'What?' 'No George, there are no monkeys in the garage!' That's it, I'm off for a lie down in a darkened room.

Sunday 8 February ~ by George
Have you ever been held captive? Well, I was today. It's a good job I'm a tough, rugged, streetwise cat, otherwise I might not have survived the ordeal. I was held inside a maximum security duvet cover for, oh, literally minutes! Quite naturally for a Sunday, I'd gone in to explore, but got captured when the security guards (the folks) did the buttons up, sealing off my only exit. Did I panic? No, not me. Big Bad George laughs in the face of fear! Straight away I began planning my Great Escape, and started to scout out all the edges to find a way out. I finally discovered a careless loophole in my captor's plans, they'd left one of the buttons undone (sloppy security), and there was just enough gap for me to squidge through, and make my bid for freedom. Ha Ha, it takes more than a high security duvet cover to defeat Special Agent George!

Saturday 7 February ~ by Gemini
Oh my, I never would have guessed this! The mystery of the garage space is solved. It all happened this morning, and we could hardly believe our whiskers. We went outside with the folks to witness the coming of the 'thing', which turned out to be a car of all things. It's not at all like next door's car (noisy, smelly and dirty but with a warm bonnet and interesting shopping in the boot), it's more like an almost-car. What I mean is, they had to push it into the garage (it has no engine), you can't sit in it to keep dry (it has no windows) and there's no interesting shopping at all in the boot. We've always had a garage, but there's never been a car in it before, and now that there is, it's one that doesn't even work! I've decided it's not worth my brain power to discover why we have acquired this thing, and I intend to ignore it until it does something interesting.

Friday 6 February ~ by Gemini
Yet more maor shifting in the garage today. Yet more 'stuff' got carted away, so there's a veritable ballroom of space in there now. And for what? It's unlike our folks to be tidying just for the sake of it, very out of character indeed. I wondered whether we might be moving house, but I dismissed that as a ludicrous idea, because let's face it they'd have consulted us about moving, we'd have said 'no thanks' and that would have been that. No, I'm sticking with my original theory of 'something being afoot' out there, but for now, the mystery remains. Luckily there was nothing mysterious about getting to lick the custard pot. Custard pots are notoriously delicious, and never mysterious. It's good to have some things in life you can depend on, and custard pots is one of them.

Thursday 5 February ~ by George
Well we might have lost our wardrobe from the garage yesterday, but we've still got one upstairs that's every bit as good for climbing on, so I thought today I'd do just that. I have friends up there too, as you can see (Tigger & Ted) and they look forward to my visits. They don't have a very exciting life up on the wardrobe, (it's one of those places that's great to visit, but you wouldn't want to live there). It's not easy getting up there you know, there's a two-stage leap involved, via a chest of drawers and over the CD rack (amazingly, I didn't knock it over today either). Trouble is, I always forget that even though it's hard getting up there, it's even more difficult to get down!

Wednesday 4 February ~ by Gemini
There's been a lot of goings on in our garage lately, with boxes being squashed up for recycling, stuff being shifted round and bagged up and old things being dumped. I have no idea why, but something is afoot, mark my words. My theory of something being afoot was endorsed today when we had a new visitor, we've called him Trailer Man for the obvious reason. There's been an old wardrobe in our garage for as long as I can remember, and I've enjoyed getting up on top of it during a number of my garage explorations. Never again though - today Trailer Man shoved it on his trailer and took it away. All these shenanigans means that there's something in the garage that's never been there before - space! Me and George both had a good poke around in our new found Space but couldn't see that it was any better than the clutter. Hmmm, what is going on? This is definitely a case for Chief Inspector Gemini. I'll report back when I've uncoverd more evidence.

Tuesday 3 February ~ by George
Me and Gemini were definitely the centre of attention today. So many visitors, so much fuss, and so many excuses to show off! Our little group of trustees came round for a Cat Chat 'committee meeting', and seeing as we are 'honorary trustees', we get to join in on all the important decisions. Decisions like whether to sit on the mat, the arm of the chair or on top of one of the trustees. We also get to help out with the committee snacks (well the cheesy bits anyway, they can keep the chocolatey bits), so we're an important part of the proceedings. I have to admit I got a bit bored halfway through, and decided to play a very violent game of Rug Tug instead, but everyone seemed to enjoy it. In fact the more they laughed the more Rug I Tugged. Well, I do so like an appreciateive audience. Ah yes, the roar of the greasepaint, the smell of the crowd!

Monday 2 February ~ by Gemini
After a couple of days of heavenly mealtimes, we've finally run out of defrosted coley fish. It was back to 'cat food' this morning. Oh well, it was good while it lasted. So anyway, Mr. Fix-the-Freezer man turned up this morning to do some fiddling around with the thing, and after much huffing, puffing, 'umming' and 'aahing', he decided it was the thermostat. Now I could have told them that days ago, but did they ask me? No they did not. So he put a new thermostat in, charged them a fortune and left. The freezer is now working, but of course there's nothing in it anymore. Mr. Fix-the-Freezer man didn't think of that, I mean it's all very well fixing the thing, but what's the use if there's nothing in it? I thought he'd have brought us a replacement pack of coley fish at least! In my opinion that should come as standard in any freezer. I wonder if replacement coley fish is covered by insurance?

Sunday 1 February ~ by George
It seems very strange that only two days ago we had tons of snow, and today it was as sunny as a sunny thing, how crazy! I'm not going to complain though, they're my two most favourite weathers, so to have them both in the same week is pretty good in my book. What's also good in my book is having coley fish three meals in a row (due to the freezer having packed up). Seeing as it was warm, I took the opportunity of stalking the garden fence, something I'm very good at. Oh, sorry I meant stalking along the garden fence, not actually stalking the fence itself, that would be daft, and I'm not daft. I wasn't actually stalking anything in particular, but I like to keep my paw in for when there's something worth stalking!

Saturday 31 January ~ by Gemini
I was right about the freezer being defrosted yesterday, but then I'm right about most things. What I didn't forsee though, and neither did our folks, was that it wouldn't start up again afterwards! The food had already been put back in it by the time they realised the thing had packed up, so all their food has defrosted. Most of the snow had melted by that time too, so they couldn't go burying it again. Needless to say, they weren't the happiest bunnies in the burrow. There is a silver lining to this cloud though, a silver lining for me and George anyhow - there just happened to be three pieces of coley fish in there, which was suddenly not frozen anymore, and therefore available for consumption! I put forward my best (and only) suggestion: 'Ahem, I say, I think I have an idea. We could always, you know, just sort of, well, eat it!' Amazingly they appear to have gone along with this little offer of help, Yay! (I couldn't help wishing the freezer would break down more often!)

Friday 30 January ~ by George
We still had tons of snow in the garden this morning, so it looks like Christmas even though it's not. I used to spend far longer out in it when I was younger, but snow was warmer then. This is definitely the coldest snow we've ever had, so I've been treating it more as a spectator sport. I particularly enjoyed spectating at the window this morning, wondering why the folks were burying all their food in the garden (see photo). On first glance, you might think this was their very poor attempt at a snowman, but you'd be wrong. It is in fact a bag containing all the food out of our freezer, which they then covered in snow. Pardon me, but isn't it only dogs who bury their food in gardens? Gemini had her smart head on, and deduced that it was due to the freezer being defrosted. I knew that! Of course I knew that! I'm not as silly as I look, you know.

Thursday 29 January ~ by Gemini
So this is what it's like in the Arctic then. And here I am, the Arctic Explorer boldly going where no tabby cat has gone before (I know this because they'd have left paw prints). I'd forgotten how curious snow is, it's been so long since we've had a proper snowfall, years in fact. It's curious in the way that it sticks to your feet as you walk through it, I find I have to give my back paws a little shake-and-flick after each step. My Arctic Exploration was in fact my routine garden patrol, apart from the shake-and-flick bit. On balance I'd say snow is interesting, cold but interesting. The deep bits could have given me a very cold undercarriage, but luckily I've got my winter belly on!

Wednesday 28 January ~ by George
It's here! It's here! The snow's here, and it's too exciting to just sit here writing a diary about it. I've got to go and experience it, so I'll write about it tomorrow. Unless we get snow tomorrow as well, in which case I might have to go experiencing it again. And if it's still there the day after, well, I expect I'll be bored with it by then. Now where's that woolly hat the folks promised to make me?

Tuesday 27 January ~ by Gemini
Still no snow. Not that I'm bothered, unlike George I don't list it amongst my favourite things. Today did include some of my favourite things however, things which are much more reliable than waiting for snow. Things like getting bits of chicken at lunchtime, being first to the chair by the radiator and being allowed to sit on one of the folk's laps while they're working at the computer. Helping on the computer is a sort of 'bonding' exercise. I lay across their lap and stretch over towards the keyboard, where my paws 'bond' themselves securely onto their arm. Isn't that a bit awkward? you might ask, well it is a little, particularly when they keep trying to move their arm to tap keys, but I put up with the inconvenience for the sake of the folks. I'm indispensable, you see. I'm part technical advisor, and part Muse. Or should that be Mews?

Monday 26 January ~ be George
OK then, where's this snow got to? We haven't had any for ages, at least two winters ago, and if we don't get some soon I'll forget what it looks like, and more importantly, I'll forget what to do with it! Snow has always been one of my most favourite weathers, ever since my very first winter. I was still pretty much a kitten then, only about six months old, and even then I was good at inventing games, like skidding down the garden path on the snow or pouncing in snow piles. These days I'd just enjoy looking out at it from the windowsill, although I do want to make sure I can still skid down the path if I want to. I waited all day for the snow, and it didn't come. Gemini says that where we live is often the last place to get it, and that other parts of the country probably have it already. That's hardly fair, I mean what if the rest of the country uses it all up, and there's none left for us? I'd like my share of snow please. I'll gladly swap some of our wind and rain for some snow. Any takers?

Sunday 25 January ~ by Gemini
I heard the folks going on about snow being on the way, so I'd more or less resigned myself to spending today curled up by the radiator. There's nothing at all wrong with that of course, but what a shock to find we had bright sunshine instead! It was so warm, even the folks took their cups of tea out on the patio. It's January for heaven's sake, what on earth is going on? I naturally abandoned my plans for radiator hogging, and decided instead to hog the garden bench. I'm a very flexible sort of a cat. Beautiful, and flexible, that's me, just like a true pedigree tabby should be!

Saturday 24 January ~ by George
I've always known there was something extra sneaky about the birds round our way. For a start they come in gangs to raid the nuts from the folks secret (not) outdoor peanut store, and they take baths in our pond while I'm not looking (with shower caps, sponges and soap-on-a-roap so I've heard). Today I found out that they've been secretly training themselves into a crack squadron of cat-bombers, (it must be to get back at me for all the sparrow lunches I've had over the years). Anyway, smart and tough and streetwise as I am, I didn't see today's bird bombing raid coming until they were nearly on top of me. There must have been at least fifty of them, flying in formation straight up the garden towards me. I had no time at all to work out a strategy, so I did what all smart Defenders of the Universe do when they're grossly outnumbered, I ran like the clappers! I belted across the patio and crashed through the catflap to safety. Phew, George Cat, Defender of the Universe lives to fight another day!

Friday 23 January ~ by Gemini
My sincere apologies for yesterday's diary. I've told George time and again it's not polite to go on about toilet things, but he just seems obsessed. I can only assume it must be a boy thing. I haven't used a litter tray since I was a kitten, well apart from in the cattery but that's unavoidable, and I certainly don't feel the need to broadcast the details! But, in the hope that this might end George's endless scientific queries about the mysteries of the litter house, let me once and for all answer his questions from yesterday: (in order) 1. It's best to poo at the back, 2. Choose different ends, 3. Same session if at all possible, 4. Yes, the deeper the better, and 5. At least twice a day. That's it, my last words on the subject ever. Apart from to say that I have no opinion whatsoever on leaving ones tail hanging out the flap. That is definitely just a George thing.

Thursday 22 January ~ by George
I know Gemini hates me going on about my litter house, but it really is worth going on about. She doesn't understand, the only time she ever uses a litter tray is when we're in the cattery. I've experimented with different techniques for using it too. I set myself scientific questions, for example: Is it best to poo at the front near the flap, or at the back? Is it best to wee at one end and poo at the other? Should both be done in one session, or in separate sessions? Does the depth of the litter influence the quality of the experience? How often should I demand that the tray be cleaned? These are important questions, and maybe the answers are different for each cat, but I know one thing: Leaving your tail sticking out the flap whilst having a wee is definitely a technique worth learning!

Wednesday 21 January ~ by Gemini (again, due to my Spectacular Event)
Avalanche! that was how my Spectacular Event went. George was dead jealous, and wished he'd done it. This has nothing whatsoever to do with snow however, this was an avalanche of jumpers! Sometimes the door to the jumper cupboard gets left open inadvertantly, so I quite deliberately get in there and curl up on top of them. Napping on top of jumpers is just as good as napping on a fresh pile of ironing, the only drawback is if someone comes along and shuts the door, not realising there's more than just jumpers inside. However, today's spectacular event didn't even give me a chance to curl up for a nap, it happened before I realised what was going on. I saw the door open, took a flying leap, landed on top of the jumpers and then things just sort of went wobble... topple... wobble... Avalanche! It's a good job I bounce!

Tuesday 20 January ~ by Gemini
Our friend Big Van Man came to see us today for the first time in ages, (he's usually busy most of the time going round in his Big Van). I sometimes like to get into the back of the van, and investigate all the 'stuff' he has piled up there, but no such luck today. He'd turned up in a car, how inconsiderate! There was a worse shock in store when I sniffed his trousers - they smelled of dogs! Honestly, did I not teach him anything? Am I not living proof that cats are the finest, most intelligent and aesthetically gorgeous animals to have around the house? Dogs indeed. And no van. What sort of a friend is he, eh? I mean how can I possibly have friends who own dogs, for heaven's sake, it would simply ruin my street cred. I just hope he never brings them round here with him, I'd hate to have to ruin my precious claws beating up a dog!

Monday 19 January ~ by George
Drat! The folks have discovered our walnut. We figured that with their housework record, it'd probably be safe and undiscovered in it's hidey hole behind the sofa for months, but no such luck. Just as well I found the long-lost golf ball today! We'd found this golf ball in the garden ages ago (which led to my discovery of golf ball trees), and it was good fun for a while, but then it just seemed to get lost one day. I thought it might have fallen in the pond or something, but there I was this morning, nosing through one of the leaf piles in the weed borders when my nose hit something solid, and there it was! So I batted it out onto the grass where I could keep an eye on it. Golf balls aren't very interesting though, they don't do anything at all unless you prod them. I was contemplating being bored for a bit after that, but Gemini stopped me by reminding me that this time last year we were in the cattery. Suddenly, I felt quite glad to be in the garden with a boring old golf ball!

Sunday 18 January ~ by Gemini
Due to the continuing gardening efforts of the folks, the pile of branches at the bottom of the garden has got bigger, and my boundary patrol has got longer. My boundary patrol consists of two parts, Part One being the 'round the garden' part where I check-and-sniff all round the grass, the weed borders, the bushes and stuff. Part Two is the 'fence patrol' where I get up on the fence and do a circuit of the garden (and next door's), sniffing for any recent visitors, and sharpening my claws in strategic places. Now I find, that the extra branches the folks have chopped down has exposed two more fence panels than before, which need patrolling. I found that quite exciting in a way, a new fence panel, a new perspective and all that. The downside is I have to walk further. I hope that won't disrupt my strict exercise routine, (strictly no more exercise than I have to!)

Saturday 17 January ~ by George
I can't believe Gemini gave away the secret of out flying trick! We could have been the famous magic flying cats, and joined the magic circle and everything! I'll have to make do with my Magic Drawer trick, only I know the true secret of that. Gemini copied that trick, but I invented it, and she often gets stuck halfway when she does it, which is not very professional. No, I am definitely the maestro of the Magic Drawer Trick. I found out today what that fancy bird was that came into our garden on Tuesday, it was a 'green woodpecker', so nothing like the fruity bit in a trifle at all! Which is a bit annoying, because it would have been perfectly edible (apart from that dangerous beak), and I didn't even try to get it. Bah!

Friday 16 January ~ by Gemini
Here's me and George doing our special magic trick of flying! Oh alright, we're not actually flying, but I wanted this photo in the diary just to prove why humans cannot be trusted to go out on their own, particularly if they're likely to go 'down the pub'. I know all about 'down the pub', it makes humans go all stupid and do daft things. Like hanging over the bannister to take vertical photos of their cats who just happen to be relaxing on the floor below. Yes, that daft.

Thursday 15 January ~ by George
Well how was I to know, eh? There was no way I could have known, no way at all. As far as I'm concerned a bowl of grated cheese sitting unattended on the kitchen table is an open invitation to any passing cat. There might as wll have been a note on it saying 'please eat me'. There wasn't a note saying that, but on the other paw there wasn't one saying 'not for cats' on it either. And in any case I like cheese, so what else was I to do? Unfortunately, I couldn't blame it on Gemini this time, because I got caught with my snout in the bowl. I thought of blaming it on the Parallel George from the Parallel House, but he's never been seen this side of the mirror, so I figured they wouldn't buy that. No, I stood guilty as charged, prepared to take the full consequences of my actions. I also made a mental note not to get caught next time!

Wednesday 14 January ~ by Gemini
I'm ashamed to say that I skived off my morning garden patrol today, it was just too wet. We seem to have had so many rainy days lately, and frankly I'm getting a little fed up with it. I'm pretty hardy in most weather, but that 'soggy moggy' feeling is not my favourite, so I gave myself the morning off (I think of myself as a self-employed cat so I can do that!). Instead I employed myself to do serious napping in the office for most of the day. Luckily we had a more interesting time later when we had a visit from old friend and cat-fusser, Computer Man. He usually comes round to 'do things' with our computer, but today he apparently just came round to fuss me and George, drink tea and eat the last of the Christmas chocolates. We like Computer man, he hasn't got a cat so he has to save all his fussing up for us!

Tuesday 13 January ~ by George
I can't remember ever getting confused by a bird before. I'm usually pretty good at birds, identifying them, stalking them, and if I'm lucky, catching them and eating them. Today we had a bird in our garden that I'd never seen before, which was definitely not a sparrow or a blackbird or a thrush. It was all coloured and fancy looking, with a dangerous beak, so I wasn't sure it would be edible (like the fruity bit in a trifle) so I just watched it from the kitchen window instead. The folks seemed fascinated (enough to take a photo!), but then they've always been strange about birds. Whenever I've saved them a bit of bird, they never eat it. Although that could be because I never leave them the best bits!

Monday 12 January ~ by Gemini
I never thought I'd find myself feeling in the least bit sentimental about a dog. In fact I never would have thought I'd even care about anything a dog did, or didn't do, but in this case I'm actually going to miss a dog. The people who lived opposite us have moved away, and taken their dog with them, which has completely ruined one of our summer games, 'Tease the Dog'. We used to like sitting up on their fence making faces at that dog, and strolling up and down the roof of their shed, in a smug sort of 'you can't get me!' manner, while Mr. Dog ran round in circles knowing he hadn't a hope of catching us. He was always a good sport that dog. Maybe the new people will have a dog too. On second thoughts maybe it's not the dog who lived opposite that I'm going to miss, it's more the game I'll miss. 'Tease the Goldfish' isn't anywhere near as much fun.

Sunday 11 January ~ by George
Now this is a rare event - I discovered a food today that Gemini doesn't like! It was a new and curious food too, pretty exotic by my standards. It looked a bit like porridge, and a bit like wallpaper paste, and smelt like nothing I'd ever smelt before, so at first it wasn't even obvious whether it was food at all! However, the folks were eating it quite happily, so it was worth investigating just in case, and boy am I glad I did. It was called Hummus or Humous (something like that) and it's creamy and yummy and very exotic. I wasn't allowed to eat it out of the bowl, but I did get to lick both their plates after. Gemini sniffed it, screwed her nose up and backed away from it like it was sparrow's intestines (that's another food I like and she doesn't). She made the same sort of face she makes when I've got garlic breath (a Disgusted Gemini Cat face). I never did find out what was in this hummus-humous stuff, maybe it was sparrow's intestines?

Saturday 10 January ~ by Gemini
There's something about January that prompts humans to get out and start 'doing things' in their garden. No George, I don't mean those sort of 'things', I mean gardening type things. Someone up near Marmaduke's place was shovelling and shifting, the next door folks were clearing and tidying, and (shock, horror) even our folks were out there, sawing branches off a tree of all things, (not our Big Tree thankfully). I supervised from the top of the compost bin, partly because it amuses me to see them attempting to do gardening at all, and partly because if I didn't supervise them, heaven knows what sort of a mess they'd make of it. We now have a very interesting pile of lopped branches at the bottom of the garden, a new golf ball (found under the lopped tree), and George's 'slightly haunted carrier bag' has been finally laid to rest in the dustbin!

Friday 9 January ~ by George
Behind the curtains is one of my best places to be. I try to sneak in behind there when no-one's looking, so that when I emerge, I can make a dramatic entrance, and surprise everyone. Only this time they must have know I was there, because they had the camera ready. Unperturbed, I decided to make a dramatic entrance anyway, (I hate to disappoint my public!)


Thursday 8 January ~ by Gemini
We must have had enough rain today to last us for the rest of the year. It's certainly filled our pond up to the brim. I would have said it was raining cats and dogs, but I've never been entirely comfortable with that phrase. Lets face it, even if it was possible for it to rain dogs, then you could bet it's the last thing any self respecting cat would consider joining in with. No, rainy days are for dogs, frogs and humans, I've always said so. Luckily we still have our walnut for indoor entertainment. It's hiding out behind the sofa, and as far as I'm aware the folks don't know it's there. All the other walnuts got eaten, but our special walnut made a break for freedom (whacked by me) on New Year's Day, and never got caught. Last year it was a hazelnut, and that didn't get discovered for months!

Wednesday 7 January ~ by Gemini
And today we have been mostly... well the photo says it all. This is usually 'George's Cushion' due to the fact that it's black and shows his hairs up better than mine (I go for things like white duvets for the same reason). There must be a law of nature that says when cats shed their fur, it sticks best to furnishings of the opposite colour, so we're just helping nature along. Human clothing works on the same pinciple, so if one of the folks is wearing a black jumper, then George is the one who goes up close for a fussing, and I go for the white T-shirts. Most cats learn the fur-on-the-folks-clothes trick as kittens, it's a way of ensuring that wherever your human goes, they always carry a little reminder of the feline in their life!

Tuesday 6 January ~ by George
Today I have been mostly staring out of the window! It's a nice window, and a nice view, and there's no better place to sit if I want to keep an eye on next door's pigeons and watch the bird-bandits stealing our nuts, whilst at the same time keeping snug behind the double glazing. Home comforts like these seem more important to me the older I get, even if it does mean I don't catch so many sparrows these days. I content myself with knowing that they're still out there, and I could go and get them if I really wanted to. It's just that today I didn't. Gemini didn't even bother to come down off the folks bed to even watch the birds. At least I made the effort to get as far as the window!

Monday 5 January ~ by Gemini
I'm constantly amazed at the cheek of our local birds, I really am. I've noticed they take more liberties in the winter, probably due to the fact that me and George stay indoors more, so we're less likely to be waiting in the weed borders to ambush them. Prancing about and pecking all over our grass is one thing, but today two of them were actually bathing in our pond! An all out feather-flapping, water-splashing, wing-washing it was, in our pond, what a cheek. I've got their card marked for the Spring that's for sure, then I'll put a stop to their brazen behaviour. Apart from bird-watching, I had an interesting day helping to pack away the tinsel and tree lights (a good excuse to explore under the stairs), and helping to finish the trifle. Custard is good, topping is good, fruit is for humans, but can anyone tell me what on earth 'hundreds and thousands' are for?

Sunday 4 January ~ by George
A riddle: When is seafood not in the sea, yet isn't food either? No idea? OK, try this one: When is seafood not juicy and yummy and delicious to chew? Still no idea? Well I'll tell you, when it's still frozen solid, that's when! How frustrating it is to get the whiff of seafood from the cupboard, and know it's in there beckoning to my tastebuds, only to find out it's still as hard as stone, and to be told I can't have any yet because it takes eight hours to defrost! Couldn't they just have chopped a bit off with an axe or something and let me defrost it in my mouth? I'm sure I could defrost it in far less than eight hours in there. We finally got to eat some at teatime, but was it worth all that wait? Hmmmm, yes I suppose it was. It's just that although I have many middle names (Tough, Rugged, Enigmatic, Streetwise, Misunderstood, Mucky etc., to name but a few), 'Patient' is not one of them!

Saturday 3 January ~ by Gemini
I went up for a sit and a contemplate with Marmaduke Cat up the road today, I hadn't seen him since before Christmas. Turns out he's had a bit of an overhaul at the vets (apparently you need one when you get to his great age). He's been given some 'stuff' to make his coat all thick and shiny again (it was a bit manky before, although I'd never say it to his face), and they removed a couple of his worn out teeth, so his breath doesn't leap out and smack you in the face like it used to either! Even with few teeth, and as old as he is, he still very much owns the road. He's one of those 'good old gent' sorts. I hope I'm as grand and dignified as him when I get to his age (current estimate is eighteen, but no one knows for sure). It was our old mate Man in Socks' birthday today, but I found out too late to get him a present. He could have done with some of Marmaduke's 'stuff', maybe it would have made some of his hair grow back!

Friday 2 January ~ by George
I nearly jumped out of my fur this morning, I had such a shock. She (our human of the female variety) got a bigger shock than me though, which is why she made the scream-shriek-squeal noise that made me nearly jump out of my fur. Well, it wasn't my fault she decided to do cleaning just inside the catflap right at the point I wanted to come in through it, now was it? How was I to know she'd be crouched down with a dustpan and brush, holding the dustpan on one side of the catflap, and the brush on the other? If she'd have been paying attention, she'd have seen me belting up the garden at George-Warp-Speed 11 and got out of the way in time, but she didn't. This unfortunate situation resulted in me zooming through the flap unaware of the human obstruction on the other side, and 'Wham!'. A head on collision it was. Luckily there was no lasting damage, just as well as apparently we're not insured for damage caused by flying felines!

Thursday 1 January ~ by Gemini
May I be the umpteenth person to wish everybody a very Happy New Year! For 2004, I wish every cat a comfy, warm place to sleep, enough food to eat and someone to love them, and I wish every human... well, more or less the same really. What else can I wish for the coming year? That I get more prawns? More custard maybe? Or that George would wail a little quieter? No, maybe I should just be glad that I have the comfy, warm place to sleep, enough food and someone to love me, that's good enough, and more than I had early in my life before I got rescued. I did sort of wish that the ice on the pond this morning had been thicker, so that I could have gone on an ice-walk and freaked the folks out, but it wasn't nearly thick enough for that little prank. It needs to be as thick as George to hold my weight! (heh heh heh, only joking matey!)

«« Go to Current Diary Page ««