Sunday 8th January 2012 - by Gemini
Eleven and a half years! Hard to believe, but that's how long we've been writing these diaries. I was a mere five years old when we started, and George, my then housemate and Cat Chat co-founder, was four. Cat Chat back then was nothing more than half a dozen pages, mostly about me and George, and none of us, least of all the folks, knew what it would grow up to be. But grow up it has, and this year it looks set to grow even more. Now, I'm a smart cat, and I knew this had to happen sooner or later, but the folks as usual have been dithering, so I'm taking charge, and making the decision for them. So today, 8th January 2012, is the final diary entry. Yes, I know, and I'm sorry, but I'm still 'top cat' around here, and I know that's how it has to be. The thing is, sadly there are even more cats in shelters now than there were back in 2000, and I reckon our folks should be working on finding homes for them, rather that typing up diaries for us lucky cats who already have the sort of home a rescue cat dreams of, (I know I moan when I don't get prawns often enough, but it's true!). So anyway, before I sign off, I would like to thank all the feline contributors to the diaries over the years, in order of appearance: George, Myself, Bodger, Colonel Beau, Pickford, Tangle, and yes... even Yogi. Not forgetting our supporting cast of frogs, the Doves from Above, and the various humans who've managed to wangle a mention. We'll leave the diaries on-line as an archive, (even if I say so myself, they make good rainy-day reading), but this is it. How on earth does one finish something like this though... Hope you enjoyed it? Thanks for reading? It's been emotional? I don't know, all of those probably. But I'll finish with a wish: that this year, and in years to come, many thousands more rescue cats will find their way out of the shelter, and onto a nice warm lap, maybe even reading our archived diaries, in a home of their own. Happy 2012!
Right... I best go and break the news to the folks... wish me luck!
Wednesday 4th January 2012 - by Gemini
Well, here we are, 2012 all of a sudden. Where did that come from? I'm convinced New Years sneak up on you quicker as you get older. Still, so far this one looks like being a pretty good one. I've still got all my own teeth and all my gorgeousness intact, Tangle has decided to take up some exercise thanks to her new 'best toy', a sparkly red ball which we got for Christmas, and Yogi... well, he's just happy being Yogi. The folks are happy because the new website design is nearly finished, our human of the male variety is healing up nicely after his 'stitch-up', and inexplicably they still have half a bottle of Bailey's left four days into the new year! 2012 is even looking good from the point of view of any stray cats happening past our garden due to the arrival today of this. This marvellous thing is a Mr. Snugs wind-proof, waterproof, outdoor cat shelter, to replace the folks' Bue Peter-esque cardboard box effort. Not bad, eh? Following my inspection of this new 'premises', it has been installed out under the bushes, with a thick woolly blanket in, awaiting it's first occupant. And on that note, I'm off to snuggle up on my fluffy cube by the radiator and count my blessings. Blessing number one being that I have a fluffy cube by a radiator, and therefore don't need to go looking for a Mr. Snugs!
Wednesday 28th December - by Gemini
I must say I'm really enjoying Christmas. We've been very spoiled in the food department, for one thing. Proper chicken three days running, (luxury chicken at that, and yes, I can tell the difference), and real cream too. Strangely, it turns out that Tangle doesn't like cream (huh?), so me and Yogi had to do the honours between us. As for presents, we had a nice selection of new toys, including a bungee-jumping mouse and some Strictly-style glittery balls... but I'll leave the youngsters to chase those round, I'd rather just slob out and watch, with a belly full of chicken and cream if I'm honest. The folks have had a much slower, quieter Chrstmas than normal on account of our human of the male variety getting stitched up. Oh, I don't mean he got overcharged for the Christmas Baileys, I mean he literally got stitched up, with actual stitches, a few days before Christmas, by the human equivalent of a vet, so I understand (he's at that coming-apart-at-the-seams sort of age). Anyway, this has meant he 's been somewhat more stationary than normal, and hence available to spend extra time fussing me! (there's always a silver lining to these things). And let's face it, what better way to aid recovery than having a top tabby to fuss? Nurse Gemini to the rescue once again, what a hero I am! I hope he gets mobile before new year though, we've run out of luxury chicken, and I'm sure we were promised prawns for New Year. Selfish..? Moi..? As if!
Christmas Day 2011 by Yogi, Tangle & Gemini
Yogi: "So here it is, Merry Christmas... Ev'rybody's havin' fun! Look to... ummm, the errr..."
Tangle: See, after all that you don't even know the words, do you?
Yogi: Well, no, now you come to mention, it, I only know the first bit. That doesn't matter though, 'cos it's Christmas, and we'll get toys and treats!
Tangle: Yeah, we're bound to get toys and treats, but even better, that means we'll get wrapping paper!
Gemini: Excuse me you two, but I do think you're forgetting the most important thing about Christmas. I know it's nice to have presents, and wrapping paper, but you know that's really just a commercial, materialistic view of the festive season. One shouldn't forget what's at the heart of a truly special Christmas day - the one thing that brings our little feline family together, forgetting all our differences and petty squabbles through the year. Something that in fact probably unites many a feline family across the country - it's chicken for dinner!!!
MERRY CHRISTMAS to all, love from Gemini, Tangle, Yogi & the Folks xx
Saturday 24th December - by Yogi & Tangle
Yogi: "So here it is, Merry Christmas... Ev'rybody's havin' fu..."
Tangle: Yogi! Not yet! One more day, OK!?
Yogi: Yeah yeah, OK, one more day.
Friday 23rd December - by Yogi & Tangle
Yogi: "So here it is, Merry Christmas... Ev'rybody's havin' f..."
Tangle: No, not yet Yogi, it's still only Friday!
Yogi: Hmmm, alright, I'll wait.
Thursday 22nd December - by Yogi & Tangle
Yogi: "So here it is, Merry Christmas... Ev'rybody's havin' f..."
Tangle: No it isn't Yogi-Pogi, it's only Thursday!
Yogi: Oh, right.
Monday 19th December - by Yogi
Shhhhh! I'm writing this diary really quietly, 'cos I don't want Gemini to hear, so don't read this too loudly, OK? The thing is, I did something last night that Gemini's never done, so she'd probably be jealous and box my ears if she found out. I slept in bed with the folks last night! Well, most of the night anyway, but I don't mean on the bed, I mean inside the bed, under the winter duvet. It wasn't really my fault though, I didn't mean to, I just meant to go up on their pillows for a bit of fuss, only then I saw this gap, just big enough for me, and it looked kind of like a cave, so... well, I nipped in to explore, like you would. Our human of the female variety sort of woke up a bit, and sort of gave me a fuss, so I sort of thought I'd just stay there for a bit. Well, the thing then was, it was all warm and toasty under there, and before I knew it I'd gone to sleep (and even then I didn't know it, on account of being asleep), and when I woke up it was breakfast time! Gemini goes in there sometimes in the mornings, but she's never slept in there properly, like for hours and hours like I did. So she mustn't know OK, and I'm not even telling Tangle in case she grasses me up. I dunno if I'll try it again though, I mean it's a bit dangerous, I could have got rolled on and flattened. But on the other hand it was lovely and warm and cosy, so... I s'pose I'll just have to weight up the risk versus benefit. A bit like deciding whether to nick Gemini's biscuits or not.
Tuesday 13th December - by Tangle
Just look at this - now that's what I call a cat-flap! Well, it's more of a cat-gap than a flap I suppose, but it saves having to jump over the fence. Dunno why the folks didn't think of making a gap there before really. Mind you, they didn't make it, the wind made it by blowing part of the fence over last night. It split into bits when it fell down too, so it can't go back up. Tell you what's funny though, next door's garden looks all different seeing it through the gap. What's even weirder is looking back from their side, our garden looks all different too, even though I know it's not really. Yogi's worried, he says all his frogs could just hop away and live in next door's pond instead. Well I suppose they could, but then next door's frogs could just as easily hop over here to our pond, (I hope they don't or we'll be knee-deep in 'em next spring when Yogi starts bringing 'em indoors again). I think on balance though, I'd like our fence back please. Well, going over the fence to next door was always like going on an exciting journey, you know... discovering new and unexpected things, and having adventures and stuff. The gap's taken all the mystery out of it! |
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Sunday 11th December - by Yogi
I've been trying to think what I want for Christmas, but it's really hard, 'cos I've got everything I need already. I know the folks'll get us extra treats anyway, and something special for Christmas dinner. The big fat scratching post we got last year is still up for it, and you can't ask for extra frogs for Christmas apparently, so what else is there? Well, I couldn't think of anything until today, and then it hit me - I'm going to ask for socks! Gemini said that was stupid, she reckons socks is an old man's present, not a young cat's one. But she didn't understand, I didn't mean new socks, like from a shop, with days of the week on like our human of the male variety gets bought for him, I meant lovely smelly, used ones like I found today. You can keep your catnip toys and shoelaces when there's a good pair of stinky socks up for grabs. I managed to get hold of these just before they went in the wash, which is the best time if you want maximum smellyness. So I'm going to ask for some like this in my Christmas stocking, (only not pink with cows on, that's a bit girly). Maybe our human of the male variety would save up his days-of-the-week socks for me, without washing 'em, they'd be perfect! Well, he doesn't wear them properly anyway, he wears Saturday ones in the middle of the week and things like that. I'd take much better care of them. Well, until I bite holes in them and scrabble them to bits obviously. |
Tuesday 6th December - by Tangle
Whoaaaaah! Now that's something you don't see every day! In fact, I've never seen anything like that in all the days I've ever had in my whole life, (and I know that's lots, even if I've never counted them). 'Bang!', it went, just like that. One of the Doves from Above out of next door's tree flew smack into our sunbathing window! Head first, no safety net, now that's got to have hurt. Yogi wanted to go out and see how he was (yeah right, easy pickings more like), only the folks got to the catflap first and locked us in, (to give the dove a chance to recover without Yogi's help, apparently). Well they must have tough old heads them doves, because he recovered enough to hop up on the fence after a bit. Poor Yogi, he was going crazy trying to get out that flap. He's wanted to catch a dove for ages, even though Gemini's told him they're out of bounds and that she'd box his ears if he ever got one (I think that's mainly because she's never got one). Anyway, after about an hour on the fence, the dove got it together and flew back to it's tree. Well I was impressed, I thought he'd have been a goner the speed he must have hit that window (you can still see the 'splat' mark on the glass). The other excitement today was getting two lunches, due to a 'system failure' by our folks. As Gemini so rightly says, their stupidity does sometimes have it's advantages.
Tuesday 29th November - by Gemini
Now I'm not usually one to credit humans with a particularly high degree of smartness, in fact often quite the opposite, but I have to admit that some of their inventions are quite clever. Take the catflap, for example, surely one of the Top-Ten best inventions since the wheel? (mind you, the wheel has always been over-rated if you ask me). Then there's the radiator, another masterstroke of ingenuity, (also no doubt inspired by cats). And not forgetting the humble catfood pouch, which has saved millions of cats the trouble of working out exactly how to catch their own cow, chicken or tuna fish. Today though, I'd like to highlight and pay tribute to one of humankind's uncelebrated but no less remarkable ideas - bubblewrap! I mean, just imagine the thought process behind it... suspending stuff in air to stop it getting broken in the post... but how to send air through the post without it leaking out through the parcel? It's sheer genius when you think about it. Mind you, even the brilliant mind behind the invention of bubblewrap couldn't see it's true potential as the perfect cat-bed. That higher level of thought can only be acheived by the feline brain... and enjoyed by the feline bottom!
Tuesday 22nd November - by Yogi
I thought I knew all there was to know about frogs. Well I mean, I've been studying them closely for nearly two years now (Gemini and Tangle would say too closely). But it turns out I seriously underestimated how cunning and smart they could be. At least, the one I got tonight was. The folks had gone out, so I thought, I know, I'll bring a frog in ready for when they get back (I'm thoughtful like that sometimes). So anyway, I got this frog and dropped him in the hall. Trouble was I dropped him upside down. Well, usually they just flip themselves over to be the right way up again, but this one didn't. He just laid there on his back with his legs in the air. Tangle said he was dead. She said I'd killed him and that the folks were going to be upset when they found out. I dunno how I could've killed him though! I didn't mean to, it wasn't my fault! He definitely looked dead though, and he stayed looking dead until the folks got back. But then - and here's the cunning, smart part - when our human of the female variety picked him up and turned him over, he started wriggling! Turns out he wasn't dead, not even a bit dead, he'd just been pretending! He wriggled all the way back to the pond too, she said. So that's my lesson for today, never underestimate a frog. 'Specially not one with acting skills!
Wednesday 16th November - by Gemini
Now I know our folks think they're trying to help, but honestly, the absolutely last thing I felt like doing today was being bundled into a carrier and dragged off to see the vet (even if he does love me, and tells me how young I look). What I really wanted to do was stay tucked up on my fluffy cube by the radiator, feeling sorry for myself. I'd managed to do that quite successfully for most of yesterday without anyone noticing anything was up, but then the sneezing started and I couldn't keep that quiet. Especially not when I sneezed all over Pudsey bear in the Radio Times, that's when I knew the game was up. So this morning I was whisked off to get up close and personal with a stethoscope and a thermometer, to be given the startling news that I just have a cold. Well I could have told them that, but they'd never take my word for it (no qualifications, you see, unless you count 16-and-a-bit years of being a fully qualified cat). Anyway there are a couple of silver linings to my sneeze-splattered cloud: (1) I haven't gone off my food, and (2) I've been given a 5-day course of little pink pills to take - two a day for five days, so ten pills in all. But how can taking pills be considered a silver lining, you may ask? Oh it's not the pills, it's the yummy chunks of chewy treat-sticks they 'hide' the pills in to 'fool' me into taking them. They also cut the pills in half so I get extra treat-chunks that way too, plus the extra chunk without the pill in, to further 'fool' me into thinking they're just plain treats, (can you believe they think I don't know all this?). So tonight I'm back on my fluffy cube-by-the-radiator, still sneezing, but six treats better off and getting lots of extra fuss. Sorry Pudsey, it was nothing personal, honest!
Friday 11th November - by Yogi
Gemini beat me up! She did, honest. She chased me up the stairs and cornered me by the wicker trunk and beat me up! And d'you know what that Tangle did? That Tangle, my so-called mate just sat and watched, that's what she did. She didn't stick up for me or anything, like mates are supposed to. If one of the folks hadn't come along and hissed at Gemini to stop, she might still be beating me up now! Tangle reckoned it wasn't a proper beating-up anyway, she said if Gemini had properly beaten me up I'd know all about it, there would be fur and Yogi-bits everywhere, and then she said I deserved it anyway for batting Gemini on the bum while she was having a drink. Yeah, well... I can't deny that bit, I mean I did sort of bat her on the bum... just in passing... but it was only a bit of mischief. I've seen Tangle do that, and she gets away with it without being beaten up, so how's that fair eh? I can't help it if a bit of mischief jumps out of me when I'm not expecting it, can I? I'll just have to try and hold my mishief in, and save it for safer targets. Like chasing Tangle through the catflap, or rugby-tackling the folks' ankles, or sitting on the fridge knocking the magnets off, or pulling our little kitchen-bin-thing over and dragging all the old tea-bags out, or anything at all to do with frogs. Yeah, I won't be wasting any more of my precious mischief on Gemini, she obviously doesn't appreciate it. Her loss!
Sunday 6th November - by Tangle
I dunno what the point of fireworks is, but I reckon they've done our frogs a big favour the last couple of days. Usually Yogi's out there poking round the pond seeing how many he can bring in before bedtime, but not this weekend. This weekend they were spared all that. Honestly, Yogi's such a lightweight. A few measly fizz-bang-pops and there he is holed up on the landing, refusing to go out 'til it's all over. So thanks to the fireworks, he hasn't had a frog since Thursday. Mind you, at least Thursday's frog was an entertaining one. The best bit was when he went and hid under the cooker, and the folks had to get on their bellies with a torch and poke him out with a ruler, (yeah, and notice they don't ever put photos like that on the diary!). Anyway, back to the fireworks, they don't bother me much. I mean, say you had to mark scary noises on a scale of 1 to 10, well obviously the doorbell is going to be an 8 or a 9 on the scary-scale, but fizz-bang-pops coming from outside wouldn't even rank a 2, would they? Yogi should just copy me or Gemini, I reckon. The trick with fireworks is to make sure you've been out for a wee before it gets dark, then have a nice big tea (with extra treats if you can wangle them), get a good cosy spot on the sofa and snooze the whole evening away. Gemini says that's a good plan for other nights too, not just firework night. In fact, I think that's her plan for every night until the end of March!
Monday 31st October - by Tangle, Yogi & Gemini
Tangle: So Yogi, what did you do with the extra hour we had yesterday, then?
Yogi: Extra hour? What extra hour? No-one told me about any extra hour!
Tangle: Oh yes they did, Gemini told us days ago. Time goes backwards an hour, so you get to have it again, that's what she said.
Yogi: Yeah, I remember that, but I thought she was mucking about. So, what did you do with this extra hour then?
Tangle: Oh you know, this and that, not much really. I managed to get an extra breakfast though, that was handy. Hey... Gemini... what did you do with your extra hour yesterday?
Gemini: Me? Well, I had two extra hours as it happens, so I had two extra hour-long naps, naturally.
Tangle & Yogi: Two? How'd you get two hours?
Gemini: Oh, it's easy when you know how. You see, our folks never remember to turn all the clocks back, and this year they forgot about the one in the spare room, so I had my extra hour in there. Simple.
Tangle: What d'you mean? How's that work then?
Gemini: Well, I had my first extra hour in the morning like everyone else, then in the afternoon I went in the spare room from, oh, I dunno, about 3 o'clock to about 4 o'clock on spare-room-time, so when I came back out, it was still only 3 o'clock on everywhere-else's-time, so I had that hour again, see?
Tangle: Errrr, yeah, I sort of see... I think. So, how come everyone doesn't do that and get a second extra hour?
Gemini: Oh well, clearly not everyone's as smart as me!
Tuesday 25th October - by Gemini
In today's diary I shall attempt to shed a little light on the logic behind feline drinking habits. Firstly, I should state the basics, which is that most cats will not, unless forced to by limited options, drink out of a water bowl put down beside a food bowl. Well, I mean, that's far too obvious, isn't it? Drinking from the obvious bowl implies that a cat is doing what is expected of them, and therefore should only be used as a last resort. Our folks have grasped this to a degree, and over the years have added water bowls in less obvious places, although we do still have the (frankly pointless) water-bowls-by-food-bowls. So in addition, we have one in the spare bedroom, one down the bottom of the path, and my favourite - the one under the garden bench (which often ends up a nice mix of tap-water and rain-water, plus a bit of general muck and a few insects - lovely). Cats enjoy the thrill of discovery you see, so for instance there you are just walking along, and suddenly... 'Oh, look what I found, a water bowl in an unexpected place!'. Makes your day worthwhile that does. I suppose it's a bit like the folks on discovering that the winebox is empty, taking the bag out and finding there's still half a glass in there if they snip the corner off and wring it out. Anyway, as I'm always on the lookout for water in unexpected places, I was first in the sink today. I like sinks, especially when there's proper china mug to drink from. And in an almost-empty sink too. Which means the folks have actually done the washing up. Now that's something you don't see every day! (no wonder they took a photo)
Thursday 20th October - by Tangle
Our human of the female variety doesn't half stink sometimes. I don't mean like B.O. either, (I wouldn't mind that), I mean she stinks of this disgusting chemically stuff (chlorine, according to Gemini), which she gets from going 'round the pool'. She went there today and I could smell it as soon as she walked in the door. I don't understand why she goes in a pool of water in the first place, and I don't understand it even more when it makes her smell like that! When I first lived here I didn't realise what it was, all I knew was she smelled like an alien so I bit her on the arm. Nowadays I know just to avoid her until after she's been in the shower. Then she just smells of strawberries, and I can handle that. Yogi on the other hand, (mad as a box of frogs and twice as stupid like he is), absolutely loves the smell of chlorine. Even more bonkers, he likes the taste of it, (I know, seriously strange). If he catches her before she turns into strawberries he likes to lick the stuff off her hands and arms. Once, I even saw him on the back of the sofa licking it off her hair! He'd better not come near me with his alien-chlorine-breath, I tell you, he'd better have some dinner and a wash first, or I won't be playing chase with him tonight. Yeah, you can't beat proper, strong, meat-and-biscuits aroma mixed with a good, honest just-cleaned-my-bum-breath. Well, you know where you are with smells like that, don't you?
Sunday 16th October - by Yogi
Bah! I thought I'd got away with that one! I caught this lovely frog at tea time, and he looked just like the sort of frog who'd fancy coming out to play at 3 o'clock in the morning. Nice and lively, you know, all leapy and leggy. So anyway, I figured I'd need a good place to hide him, so's the folks didn't find him before bedtime. Trouble is, they know all my best frog-hidey-holes, like behind the hall curtain, or under the kitchen table or the spare bed, or behind the swingbin, so I needed somewhere really sneaky this time. Somewhere they wouldn't think to look, somewhere dark and secretive, somewhere only big enough for a frog to go in... like... under the fridge! Genius idea, eh? Well I still think it was a genius idea, but I hadn't bargained on the folks getting all Sherlock Holmes on me. D'you know what gave the game away? Duckweed! I'd caught him coming out the shallow end of the pond, and he was covered in the stuff, so there was a trail of it from the catflap, across the kitchen floor to the fridge. So not only did they suss out my frog before bedtime, but now they know my new frog-hidey-hole too. It's so not fair! Listen, I know this photo isn't to do with my frog under the fridge, but I wanted it in my diary anyway, just to show I'm as handsome upside down as I am the right way up. Us black cats are like that you know, we look good from any angle. What's not to love, eh?
Friday 14th October - by Tangle
Oh I see... I get it... all down to me, is it? Right, fine... I'll want extra treats though! Someone, apparently, has to explain why our diaries haven't been done in over a week, and also write about any exciting things that have happened. Now Yogi has conveniently disappeared next door to chase their frogs (they might be greener on the other side of the fence, he said), and Gemini's pretending to be asleep (at least I think she's pretending, it's hard to tell), so it's down to me to keep the side up. Now, first thing to say is it's the folks' fault the diary hasn't been done, 'cos they've spent all week messing about with some new design for the website. Yeah, and that's something I've never understood - how come our diary's not on the front page, it's the most important bit of the site, surely? Anyhow, as for exciting things, there hasn't really been any. Well, unless you count Yogi's black and white mate (the 'In Only' cat) having the cheek to sit on the patio again the other day and running off when I screeched at him through the catflap. Or if you count Man-in-Socks coming round last night. Gemini reckons that was exciting, but she loves him (and his socks). She was up on the sofa putting on the Purr-Purr-look-at-Me-aren't-I-gorgeous act so he'd give her a load of fuss (I know, at her age too, it's outrageous if you ask me). Or, if you count the folks finding a petrified frog behind the book-case. Oh, I don't mean he was scared, I mean petrified, as in all dried up and stiff as a board. He must have been there at least two weeks. Good old Yogi, eh? Anyway, the upshot of all this hoo-ha is that Cat Chat's getting a new look, any day now in fact. They reckon it'll help get more homes for more cats, so that's good though, isn't it? You know, I reckon I might write about those cats next time I do the diary, it's got to be more exciting than In-only cats and petrified frogs!
Errrm... can I have those extra treats now..?
Wednesday 5th October - by Yogi
I caught Gemini out good and proper today. We had chicken, see, and normally I don't eat that so she comes along and eats mine too, then I get given proper, normal catfood instead. Only today's chicken was different. Don't ask me why, I dunno, all I can say is it smelled yummy, so I licked it and it tasted yummy, so there's only one thing to do when that happens, isn't there? So when Gemini finished hers she came over to finish mine too, only there was none left! I don't think she could believe her whiskers. She just stood there by my bowl with this really odd look on her face. Afterwards, Tangle told me that was Gemini's 'struggling with her emotions' look. She said that although she would have been disappointed that there was no chicken left, she would have tried not to show it, so's not to appear greedy. She also said she would have been feeling annoyed at me for eating it all, but at the same time knowing she couldn't have a go at me on account of it being my chicken, in my bowl, which was now quite rightly inside my belly. Tangle also reckoned Gemini would have been annoyed at herself for wasting time checking out my chicken, when she could've probably nicked some of Tangle's if she'd gone there first (Tangle takes ages eating), but by the time she'd finished struggling with her emotions by my empty bowl, Tangle had emptied hers. I'm lucky, I only have four emotions; a sleeping emotion, an eating one, a fussing one and a chasing frogs one. I tell you what, if Gemini has more than that, I'm not surprised they struggle!
Saturday 1st October - by Gemini
Hmmm... OK now, let me see... most importantly, nice sturdy cardboard, that should last the winter. Second, yes the size isn't bad either... not too big, not too small. My one criticism is that the door's a little on the wide side, but they always make that mistake. Yes, I reckon once the carpet and furnishings are in, and the insulation and waterproofing go on, that'll do nicely. Oh no, it's not for me! This is going to be 'this year's model' of our outside box house, for any cat who needs it (and they often do, even if it's just to get out of the rain). The old one's still holding up at the moment though. I inspect it regularly, but never actually go inside it, (well you never know what sort of ruffians have been using it, do you?), but the roof is starting to sag a bit, so just as well they're replacing it before the winter. I shall have to test and approve the new model before it's put in place of course, I mean, I wouldn't want any stray cats (or neighbouring cats for that matter) finding a sub-standard box house in our garden, would I? Of course it's the location, location, location that really counts; tucked down by the back wall under the bushes, out of the wind and out of sight of any passing humans. You'd only really notice it from a cat's eye view, which is sort of the point. Personally, I've always though they should build a permanent one out of bricks, with a nice tiled roof, and double glazing. Oh well, maybe next year...
Monday evening 26th September / Tuesday morning 27th - by Yogi
The folks reckon they're so smart with their in-only catflap trick, well they don't seem so clever after last night! I know their little game, sometime in the evening they put the flap on 'in-only' so that we're all indoors by bedtime. Gemini and Tangle are normally always in anyway, but that because they're girls and haven't got important Boy Things to do, (only don't tell them I said that or they'll do one of their Girl Things and biff me round the ear). I'm always the last one to come in-only, well I was until last night anyway. The thing was, they forgot to lock it up all the way after I came in which in theory means that any other cat who felt like it could come in-only too, and at 3 o'clock this morning, one did! It was my mate who comes round to hang out sometimes, (the one Tangle swears at through the catflap), he'd come in to hang out in our kitchen instead. Cool eh? Well I thought so, but the folks didn't when he realised he couldn't get out again and started making a right old racket trying to punch his way through the flap. So our human of the female variety gets up to see what all the fuss is about, twigs on, and goes to unlock the flap. Well my mate freaked out and ran off to hide, so she had to leave it unlocked so's he could get out, which of course meant I could get out too. Yeah I know... me... out in the garden... at 3 o'clock in the morning... that's waay past my bedtime! So that's how I managed to get a frog before breakfast this morning. Well, you can't waste an opportunity like that, can you?
Thursday 22nd September - by Gemini
Just look at him... I mean, he seems harmless enough, doesn't he? Well, the truth be told he is harmless enough, but try as I might I can't convince Tangle of that. He's one of Yogi's little mateys, they sit on the path together sometimes just 'hanging out' (an activity I've never really seen the point of, maybe it's a boy thing). Anyway, for some reason Tangle's got it into her head that he's (a) not to be trusted, (b) certainly not harmless and (c) not allowed no-way-no-how to sit on our patio steps having a wash. And therein lies a bit of a problem. This is the second day on the trot that Yogi's mate has decided his late afternoon routine should include sitting on our patio steps having a wash. Hence this is the second day on the trot I've been woken from my late-afternoon nap (that's the one which follows my mid-afternoon nap) by the dulcet (not) tones of Tangle Cat yowling her head off at him through the catflap. She doesn't even go out and confront him, oh no, she just sits there hurling insults from the safe side of the flap, (which, incidentally, is where the folks took this photo from). I said to her, when I was her age if I'd taken exception to a trespasser I'd have been straight out there either chasing them over the fence, or even as the late great Colonel Beau Cat used to say, giving them the old-one-two. None of this foul-mouthed yowling, (so unladylike I feel), just the good old fashioned solution of knocking ten bells out of them. Ah yes, the good old days!
Friday 16th September - by Yogi
I might only be little but I've got a BIG generous heart. No-one could ever call me selfish, share and share alike, that's me. So when the nice gas man with the blue blanket came to fix our central heating today, I thought I'd show him just how unselfish I am. So armed with my BIG generous heart, I went out and found him a BIG generous frog (and it was a proper whopper too). I had to take it all the way upstairs, 'cos the gas man was kneeling on his blue blanket on the landing with his head in the airing cupboard. Anyway, he looked a bit busy in there, so I snuck up and dropped it on his blanket, near where the folks had put his cup of tea, so's he'd find it later. He did find it later too, and he was a bit surprised I think. Well, he was very suprised as it goes. I think the gas man is used to people bringing him cups of tea, and probably biscuits too sometimes, but it sounded like he'd never been brought a frog before, (did you know gas men can squeal? No, nor did I until this morning). Mind you, I was back downstairs by the time he found it, so he didn't even know it was me, that's how unselfishly generous I am! (I'm like Father Christmas, only real, and without the reindeer). The folks are so mean though, they didn't even let him take it home! After he'd admired it (and he did) they put it back in the pond. Oh well, sorry gas man, it's the thought that counts, eh?
Thursday 15th September - by Tangle
I know I moan about Yogi sometimes (especially when he bites me on the bum, and no, that's not allowed even when you're mates, like he said, so don't listen to him), but he's really good for sitting and having a ponder with. All cats are good at pondering of course, but it's not every cat who you'd want to sit and ponder with together, in the same place, at the same time, is it? I mean, you have to get on really well don't you and sort of understand each other, or they'd disturb your pondering wouldn't they? Me and Yogi sometimes ponder on the patio, but out best place is here, upstairs, in the evening, before our mad-half-hour. So that's what we did tonight, while Gemini was downstairs snoozing on her fluffy cube, we were pondering some seriously important questions (well, I was anyway). Tonight I pondered why my whiskers seem longer on one side than the other, and how Yogi does that ludicrous thing with his tail, and why on earth our folks would want to take a photo of us pondering. I don't know what Yogi was pondering. It's usually something to do with frogs. He sits there looking all dark and mysterious and intellectual, but he's so not!
Sunday 11th September - by Yogi
Tangle's everso brave, you know, I dunno how she gets away with it. Twice this week I've seen her bat Gemini on the bum. She did it the other day when Gemini nipped by her on the stairs, and this morning she did it in the kitchen, right in front of me and the folks. Gemini was walking over to her food bowl (which is where she mostly walks when she's in the kitchen) and Tangle just stuck her paw out and whacked her on the backside! Gemini turned round and gave her a dirty look, but that was all. I'm jolly sure if I did that I'd get more than just a dirty look. I bite Tangle on the bum sometimes, but that's allowed when you're mates, isn't it? And anyway I only do it so she'll chase me, and she likes doing that. Now I wouldn't bite Gemini on the bum because I definitely don't want her chasing me. I know she's sixteen and everything but she can still get a wiggle on when she wants, and I don't want to be at the end of her wiggle! Oh yeah, I nearly forgot, I sicked my biscuits up on the path this morning. I didn't mean to, they just came out. If the folks haven't cleared them up by the morning I might go and see if they're worth eating again. Tangle said I was really gross for saying that, but I can't see the problem. I mean, as long as they're not past their sell-by date..?
Monday 5th September - by Gemini
Oh, I do love a good book! One you can really get into, or more accurately, get onto. Nice, fat hardbacks are the best of course, as you can see, they make the perfect pillow. I can't be doing with flimsy paperbacks, I mean, you can't really spread yourself out on those, can you? Our human of the female variety sometimes takes a book up to bed with her, on the pretext of wanting to read it. But she only really does that because she knows I'll go up too, and lay across it so she can give me a fuss. I can't help feeling a bit sorry for people with those electronic books-on-a-screen contraptions, when I've got my head laying on a nice chunky volume and my bum on the duvet (or vice versa). I can't imagine any cats wanting to lay across one of those things, can you? Maybe I'm just old fashioned, I don't know, but I'll stick to lounging on a real book, thanks all the same. And there... you see... yet another of my many and varied talents - I'm a highly accomplished and reliable bookmark! |
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Thursday 1st September - by Yogi
I had a visitor today, Well, two visitors actually, but I only let one of 'em be my mate. There was a big visitor, but he was waaaay too tall to get familiar with, if you know what I mean, and there was a not-so-tall visitor who got down on my level with a feather-on-a-stick in his hand. Well, come on, which one was I going to choose, eh? So anyway, me and my new best mate were playing feather-on-a-stick round the coffee table when guess who tried to muscle in on our game? You won't guess because she doesn't usually do playing, and certainly not with strangers without prawns in their pocket - yeah, I'm not kidding, it was Gemini! I couldn't believe it, this was my visitor, come to see me specially, and there she was swatting my feather-on-a-stick! Well, I wasn't going to have that, was I, so I legged it out the back garden. My new best mate followed me out not long after and we had another game, and I got fussed too, ('nah nah na nah nah' - see Gemini, they really were my visitors). Now, d'you know how to tell if your mates are proper mates? It's when they don't moan if you accidentally scratch them on the hand... and it was an accident, honest! If he comes to visit again I'll get him a frog. Well, that's what mates are for, aren't they?
Tuesday 30th August - by Tangle
Well Gemini might not have worked out what the new wooden box is for, but me and baldy-boy... sorry... I mean Yogi, certainly have. It's for jumping on when we have our mad half-hour before bedtime. It's living in the corner of the bedroom where the old blanket-box (retired) used to be, which makes it 'third base' (after the bed and the windowsill), so it has to be jumped on, or you lose the game (I think that's right, although we haven't got proper rules, so I jump on it just in case). Anyway, the best thing about the new box is it's Ba-Donk! (the noise if you leap over onto it from the bed), and it's Ker-Thud! (if you land on it from the wondowsill). The old blanket box was good for ripping to shreds but it didn't have a Ba-Donk or a Ker-thud, so this one's better (and in any case we've still got the rest of the folks bed to rip to shreds, that's nowhere near finished). I love me and Yogi's mad half hour, I do. It's a bit like hide n' seek and a bit like tag-you're-it, but mainly it's just chasing round the house jumping on stuff, and thumping down the stairs seeing how fast we can go and how much noise we can make. Thanks to the new box we can make even more noise than usual too, and thanks to my 'comfy belly' my Ker-Thud is a whole lot louder than Yogi's! (poor little baldy-boy, it's still not grown back, you know).
Friday 26th August - by Tangle & Yogi
Tangle: Yogi! What do you think you're doing... what have you got there?
Yogi: What's it look like, it's a frog of course!
Tangle: Yeah, I can see that, but what're you doing bringing it over the fence? I mean, it can't be one of our frogs. Where did it come from?
Yogi: Well I dunno, do I? I just found it.
Tangle: What do you mean, you just found it... like it was hanging around doing nothing and you thought 'oh, I know, I'll take it home'?
Yogi: Errr... yeah, sort of. Anyway, how d'you know it's not one of our frogs, they haven't got name badges on.
Tangle: Because, Yogi Pogi, our frogs live over here on this side of the fence, and that one came from over there, on the other side of the fence.
Yogi: Yeah, but he could have jumped over it and then got lost...
Tangle: It's a six foot fence Yogi, I don't think that's very likely, do you? You know what I think, I think there's another pond over there somewhere and I think you nicked him!
Yogi: I didn't! It wasn't like that, honest! He was just... you know... and I just kind of...
Tangle: Just kind of frognapped him. Honestly Yogi, we've got stacks of frogs already, can't you take him back where you found him?
Yogi: Errr, well not any more I can't... (Tangle & Yogi watch as one of the folks plops Yogi's frog into the pond) I'll never find him amongst our lot, they all look the same!
Tangle: Hmmm, that's true. Oh well. Perhaps name badges isn't such a bad idea. Anyway, listen, don't go getting any more frogs from over there OK, or we'll be overrun with them. There won't be enough water for them all, or enough food. It'll upset the whole eco-balance of our garden, and the neighbourhood, maybe even of the whole world. But even worse for you... I'll tell Gemini!
Tuesday 23rd August - by Gemini
Now I might be wrong, but I have an inkling that today might be my birthday - which makes me officially sixteen! Well I say that, but I've never been exactly sure what date I was born, but it's definitely around now-ish. I worked it out by knowing roughly how old I was when I got, you know... 'done', and then counting backwards. Anyway, seeing as I lack a birth certificate, I've decided to choose today as my birthday. This guarantees that I get a nice collection of wrapping paper to investigate, plus a bit of bubble wrap to pop, and not forgetting having 'special' for dinner. That's because today just 'happens' to be our human of the female variety's birthday too (although she is somewhat older than my youthful sixteen, but it's more than my prawns-ration's worth to say by how much!). Now today was even more special as it turned out, because I got to supervise the Building of the Box. The Box arrived in a flat-pack with a set of diagrammatic instructions, which apparently should enable people with average intelligence and the right size screwdriver to assemble the thing in twenty minutes. Twenty minutes..? Diagrammatic instructions..? Our folks..? Yeah, right! So, naturally it was down to me to supervise, telling them what to put where, and in what order. And as you can see, I did a sterling job! The only thing I haven't worked out is whether this was a birthday present for her... or for me...? And what's it for, anyway?
Saturday 20th August - by Tangle
Just when I thought I couldn't get any braver, I've just realised that I could, and in fact have got braver. It's all down to the posh puss we had in our spare room a couple of weekends ago. I used to spend ages in there before that, a few hours a day at least, in my hidey-bed-under-the-spare-bed (behind the valance). Well, when Mrs 'I-only-drink-Volvic' Posh Paws came along I wasn't allowed in there for three whole days. Now the weird thing is, I discovered it didn't really bother me after all, I just found other places to be. Not hidey places either, out-in-full-view-of-everyone places! So then I realised I didn't need my hidey-bed anymore, so I haven't been in it once since. I don't even miss being behind the valance, and I never thought I'd be saying that! So please may I introduce you to the new Bold, Brave, Fearless, Out-in-the-open Tangle Cat. I don't think I'll get any braver after this though, but you never know, do you? I might even let next-door-lady fuss me one day. If I get that brave, this diary will be the first to know!
Tuesday 16th August - by Yogi
You know what, without even knowing it, I reckon I've been growing up! I didn't notice along the way, but now I think about it I'm a different me than I used to be. I still look like me, and I still feel like me though. So how can I tell, you might ask? Well, for a start I haven't wee'd in the bath for months. The other thing I've noticed is when I've been picked up and I want to get the folks to let me down again, these days I just ask nicely and they do! Now before I grew up I didn't know you could do that, so I used to bite them on the arm instead (that worked too, but I think they like the new way better). The new grown-up me can sit still for longer too. Not for really-stupidly-ages like Gemini does, but long enough to get fussed on the windowsill. I still don't do laps though, but Tangle reckons I will one day, all of a sudden, like she did. I dunno though, laps look a bit boring to me, so I'm not sure I want to grow up that much. Gemini reckons you can choose how much to grow up anyway, she said it's got nothing to do with how many birthdays you've had. So... if that's true, I could choose to un-grow-up a bit and wee in the bath again, any time I wanted! (I was really good at that too, I could sit right over the plughole and everything). See that there... that's me being grown-up on the scratching post. You can't tell from the outside of course, so you'll just have to take my word for it. Or you could ask the folks, they can tell because they don't have holes in their arms any more.
Tuesday 9th August - by Gemini
Ah yes, there's nothing quite like a professional manicure and a belly full of chicken to make me feel all satisfied and gorgeous, so that's just how I feel tonight! I went to the vets for my manicure this time, because our useless folks weren't doing it right (even though they take ten times as long about it as our vet). So now my nails are super-perfect (just like me), and I'm no longer getting caught up in the bedspread. Mind you, my vets trip wasn't without it's annoyances. Like the little boy who hoped I might reward him with a purr and a friendly headbump if he stuck his fingers through the bars of my carrier going "Here Puss Puss!". I'll be honest, even if I'd had the gross misfortune to be landed with the name 'Puss Puss', the likelihood of me responding to such over-optimistic encouragements with not even a treat in sight, is approximately zero. No, not approximately... exactly zero! Oh yes, and then there were the dogs in the waiting room. Now, I've got nothing against dogs per se, it's just that I've never really understood the point of them. They always seem just so... oh, I don't know, so slobbery and unsubtle somehow. Our folks like dogs, but then they like sprouts too, so what can you say? Thankfully my day was nicely lifted back to perfectness by having real chicken for tea. I had my chicken, and then I had Tangle's chicken too (she still prefers the processed stuff). Sadly, Yogi has recently decided that he likes real chicken too, and ate his. Still two out of three's not bad eh?
Saturday 6th August - by Tangle
Well, Gemini was right, the temporary cat in our spare room (yes, my getting-away-from-it-all-especially-Yogi room) went home today. I never even got to see her! Yogi said he saw her round the crack in the door yesterday when one of the folks came out, but she hissed at him so he ran away (what a wuss, eh?). Anyway, as soon as she'd gone I went in to do a smell-check, like you would. I found out she'd mainly been kipping in my special box-bed under the spare bed, but I could smell she'd also tried out Yogi's 'winter bed' (which is also under there, on account of him only using it in the winter). She'd been on top of the bed a few times too, and even up on the windowsill, so she'd made herself right at home in there. I reckon she must've been a real high class cat too, not your regular moggie. Oh, you can't tell that from her smell, it was just that her bag of 'supplies' included a 2-litre bottle of mineral water! Now that's proper posh, if you ask me.
Wednesday 3rd August - by Gemini
'Oh Yaaaaawn, not another cat', I thought, as our human of the female variety brought an unfamiliar cat basket up the path this morning, in which sat an equally unfamiliar cat. That was followed by an unfamiliar (and unreasonably large) litter tray, plus various cat-foodstuffs (sadly not prawns, I checked). Now there was a time (well, many times if I'm honest) when I would've been really rather upset about another feline just turning up like that, and taking over our spare room (which is where she is right now), but you know what... life's too short. No really, I see that now. After all my nearly-sixteen years of grumbling and hissing at any New Cat daring to cross the threshold, and making them feel thoroughly unwelcome for at least the first few weeks, nowadays I'm more of a live-and-let-live sort of cat. The new laid-back Gemini, that's me! So, have I been keeping a constant vigil outside her door, sniffing and scratching the carpet to try to intimidate her? No, of course I haven't. And have I tried forcing my way past the folks' legs every time one of them's gone into New Cat's room, hoping to confront her and tell her who's boss? Certainly not! I have in fact left her completely in peace, to relax and get comfortable with her new surroundings. Yogi's wondering what's got into me. But what he doesn't know is that this particular New Cat is only here because her folks are moving house. She's going home on Saturday... result!
Saturday 30th July - by Tangle
I reckon the best things about houses are the windows. I mean, walls are OK, and I suppose they need to be there to keep the roof up, but it's the windows that make all the difference, isn't it? All our upstairs ones have windowsills, and they're great for lounging on and nosing down at what's happening outside. They're even great for lounging on when nothing at all's happening outside (and and some days, quite a lot of nothing happens round here). The downstairs windows are a different kettle of catfood altogther. Being on a downstairs windowsill
puts you right in there, with all the action, you know? The one at the front lets you see eye-to-eye with anyone coming up the path, so that's good for deciding whether to run and hide behind the sofa or not (man with parcel means run and hide, man with pizza leaflet means ignore and stay put), and the kitchen one's good for keeping an eye on the bird table. But this one, the back one, our sunbathing window - as you can see - hasn't even got a windowsill! I can lay on here for a bit mind, thanks to my 'comfy belly', but I can't have a nice doze or I fall off. How rubbish is that? The annoying thing is that this would probably be one of my favourite windowsills... if it existed.
Monday 25th July - by Gemini
Well that was certainly an unexpected bit of entertainment this morning. I had a ringside seat too. There I was, relaxing after breakfast in a comfortable, postprandial sprawl in my bed-under-the-radiator on the landing, when everything started happening around me. The doorbell rang, Tangle ran and hid under the spare bed, there was a flurry of fuss and kerfuffle down in the hallway, and next thing I know there's toolbox-man stomping his way up the stairs, together with his accompanying paraphernalia. And... a toilet. I kid you not, a toilet, large as life (well, as large as a toilet anyway), plonked on our landing. Now, that's something you don't see every day. Naturally I stayed put to oversee proceedings (well even toolbox-men might have prawns in their pocket, mightn't they?). So by the end of the morning, the 'new loo' was in it's rightful place, doing what loo's do, and the old loo was on it's way 'up the tip'. And so another piece of Cat Chat history is lost forever, (that was the very loo that George, and then later, Colonel Beau used to drink out of). Mind you, it doesn't do to get too sentimental about these things, truth be told that old loo should have retired years ago. Anyway, my point (and there actually is one), is to pass on a useful tip to anyone who, like our folks, uses dental floss. Without going into the ghastly, gruesome and frankly disgusting details, never flush your floss down the loo. Trust me on this, you really don't want to know!
Saturday 23rd July - by Tangle
Was today
national gardening day, or something? Next-door-lady was out 'doing' her garden, and the next thing you know our folks are out there 'doing' ours. Our folks don't do gardening very often (even less, if they can get away with it), so why'd they have to pick today? What with the mower being all noisy and nuisancey in our garden and Mrs. Next-door just being there in hers, meant I couldn't go outside until it was all over. Well, I know I could go over next door's while she's there in theory, but in practise I'm just not brave enough. I mean, she might see me, mightn't she, and then... well, I don't really know what then, but I'm not taking any chances! I didn't take any chances when the jehova's witnesses came to the door later, either. I legged it as soon as the doorbell rang, and hid behind the sofa until they'd gone away. Our human of the female variety was very nice to them and all that, but I think secretly she wished she'd followed my example!
Friday 22nd July - by Tangle
Who's been moving my catnip cushions around then? Come on, own up! It's not on you know, I take a lot of care moving my kittens... err, I mean my cushions, into the right places. And then someone (usually one of the folks, I think), comes along and puts them in totally the wrong places. I know our human of the male variety moves them when he has the hoover out, for a start. Can't he just go round those bits and leave my cushions where they are? I've only got three, I mean, it's not like it's too much to ask. My light brown spotty cushion's alright, he's safely tucked under the coffee table where I left him on Tuesday, but someone moved my dark brown spotty one (the fat one with too much catnip in. I really must give them proper names one day). Anyway, he got moved today from where I'd put him in the middle of the hall, over to the mat where all the shoes are, well that's not right, is it? He's OK now though, I rescued him and popped him into my 'nest' on the corner stair (where my catnip mice live). Well, that's when I discovered my black and white stripy one had gone missing. He was there yesterday, I know he was, and now he's been moved to goodness-only-knows-where. Gemini says he might've gone into a black hole. There's definitely one in the house somewhere according to her. It's where all the folks' odd socks go, apparently.
Saturday 16th July - Yogi Cat in "The Frog, the Folks and the Filing Cabinet"
It wasn't my fault! I couldn't help where that frog hopped, could I? Anyway, it was our human of the female variety's fault in the first place for leaving the bottom drawer of the filing cabinet open. I thought she'd left it open for me to put my frogs in. Well, that makes sense, doesn't it, filing them away for safe-keeping? Well, that's what it looked like anyhow, so I dropped my frog in there this morning. Trouble was, I didn't know there was a gap at the back of the drawer big enough for a frog to hop through, leading to a Secret Space underneath, down in the bottom of the cabinet. The folks didn't know about the Secret Space before either, but the frog found it anyway, (frog's aren't half noisy when they're jumping around under filing cabinet drawers, you know). So after the folks found out about the Secret Space with the frog in, they also found out that the bottom doesn't come off the filing cabinet, and that the drawers don't come out either, unless you bash the runners off with a hammer and a screwdriver. So now the frog's back in the pond, the bottom drawer's all bent so it won't open any more, and I've got to find somewhere else to hide my frogs. And that's all down to a badly designed filing cabinet really, so it's not my fault! |
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Sunday 10th July - by Yogi
Not fair! Not fair! They're all against me - the folks, and the frogs, none of 'em are playing fair! Last night, I brought a frog indoors to play with later. You know, a 3-o'clock-in-the-morning sort of frog. Now usually, they don't move too far from where I leave 'em. They might go off into a corner or something, but I can normally always find 'em when it's time to play. Only last night's frog just disappeared... gone... vanished... like he'd disapparated! Except he hadn't really, as it turned out. The folks found him this morning - look - he'd tidied himself away in the book-case! As soon as they discovered him they took this photo and then plopped him back in the pond. But that was my frog! How sneaky though, I mean, that's one of the last places I'd look, isn't it? It must have been a conspiracy, I reckon. Otherwise, how did that frog know I couldn't read? |
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Saturday 9th July - by Gemini
I may be getting on a bit these days, but I'm still enthusiastic about New Things. Well, some new things anyway. I mean, I wouldn't be enthusiastic about any more new cats for example, (perish the thought). But today we had two New Things which both got my seal off approval. The first was a rather delicious new variety of cat food pouch, which went very nicely between the three of us for lunch. It went particularly nicely between three because Yogi got distracted halfway through, so I finished his off for him (Result no. 1). The second New Thing was actually a person - the Lady in Blue! The folks have known her for years apparently, but today was her first visit to Cat Chat Towers, (she comes from Scotland you see, which I think counts as 'abroad'). Anyway, it turns out she loves cats, and as I was the nearest one to hand on the day, I basically copped for a major fussing (Result no. 2). Yogi got a bit of blue-lady's fuss too, I gather, and Tangle allowed herself to be 'glimpsed' under the spare bed (she still doesn't really 'do' strangers), but undoubtedly it was Yours Truly who made her visit worthwhile. So, which is the best, New Food or New Fuss? Hmmm... an interesting question. Note to Lady in Blue: Next time, bring some prawns, and you might just tip the balance!
Tuesday 5th July - by Tangle
Gemini's always told me, whenever we've stayed at the cattery, that the folks will always, definitely, no-question-about-it, come and take us home again. Well this time I didn't need telling, this time I just knew it. I knew it because they love me and they tell me so every day, and you can't argue with that, can you? I still don't get why they have to go off anywhere else though, when everything they need's at home, but that's humans for you, never satisfied. I bet they wished they'd left Yogi up there a bit longer though. We'd only been back half an hour and he'd caught a mouse. There he was down the path, chucking it up in the air like it was one of our toy mice! What on earth does he think we have toy mice for, eh? It's to save us the bother of getting real ones, isn't it? In any case, you get more variety with toy mice. Real ones don't come in blue or green, or smell of catnip, and they certainly don't have bells in. It's a no-brainer really, but then I suppose that says it all with Yogi. I do love him though, and I missed him a bit while we were in the cattery. Oh, he was only in the pen next door, but I still missed being able to chase him and biff him round the ear. Gemini said she missed him a bit too, but I know she only really missed not being able to nick his biscuits. She's so good at being selfish. She's teaching me all she knows though. Well not quite all she knows, she's much too selfish for that!
Sunday 3rd July - by Gemini
Oh, now that was unfair. That was beyond unfair, in fact. Now usually I know full well when our folks are going 'somewhere else', and even how long they're going for, due to my intimate knowledge of their going-away bags. I know, for example that the small bag equals one night away with catering and litter-tray duty courtesy of next-door-lady. Two small bags equals two nights away, (ditto above for catering and litter). Then there's the Big Bags, which only emerge for trips of a week or more, when like it or not we get carted off to the cattery. So imagine my utter shock and disbelief when on Thursday morning we all got bundled into cat boxes and whisked off to the cattery with no warning, not even the slightest clue. How come? Because the sneaky sneaks have got a new bag! This appears to be a 3-to-4-night bag, (I didn't even know there was such a thing), how unfair is that? I was all set to get indignant about being boxed up with no warning when I saw that Yogi had already been taken unawares and boxed up before me. Tangle by this time had twigged on and had managed to squidge herself down behind the heaviest of the office desks well out of reach, so that the folks had to shift half the office furniture to get her out (that's my girl!). Still, the folks it seems have more to be worried about than us cats, who only had to put up with a few nights in the cattery. I fear their problems are sadly, permanent. The evidence that the poor loves are now officially, irrefutably old codgers, and on the slippery slope to the old fogies home is overwhelming - the new bag has wheels!
