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31 December ~ by Gemini
Humans are odd things, aren't they? This morning I conducted a close up study of one of ours, while they were still in bed. I nuzzled my way right up under their chin, and settled down with my paws on their neck, so that I could stare at them properly, wrinkles and all, (so many I lost count). Now if they were smart like us, they'd grow fur all over, then the wrinkles wouldn't show, but they're not. Strange noses too, why do humans need them to be so big? Cats noses are tiny in comparison, and yet they work miles better. And as for human ears, whoever designed those had a very weird sense of humour indeed. Maybe they just look the way they do for our amusement, yes that's surely it. In fact that's probably why people were invented in the first place, just for fun. And to produce food of course. Fun and Food. Quite useful from a cat's point of view. I must study cats one day, to find out why we're all so perfect!
Monday 30 December ~ by George
Today purely by chance, I discovered simply best (better than all the rest) place to be combed. On the top level, level three of our playstation-scratch-post. I love being combed no matter where it is, but this was just luxurious somehow. It started out with me being combed on the worktop, then I leapt over to 'level three' and they just carried on combing. From there, they could walk round and comb me from all angles, and it made me go all soppy and purry. I even let them comb under my chin and belly (normally out of bounds), so it must have been special. Mind you it was so cold outside today I wondered if I might have been warmer if I hadn't had half my fur combed out. Any chance of sticking it back on until the spring?
Sunday 29 December ~ by Gemini
We had an uninvited visitor last night, a large black un-neutered tom. He passed by here a few months ago, and he doesn't bother me particularly, (I'm more than a match for him if it came to a fight), but I do object to him spraying up our swingbin. That's totally uncalled for, and very rude in someone else's house. And as for the smell, well the less said about that the better. As a consequence, the folks 'cleaning stuff' came out, (frankly I can't decide which smells worse, the cleaner or black cat's spraying!). We spent most of the day up on the bed where thankfully it didn't smell of lemon and pine. We did make an appearance for a rare treat at teatime though - rice pudding. Mmmm yes, rice pudding, I'd forgotten how good that is. George might keep a 'Top Ten Humans' list, but it's not half as useful as my 'Top Ten Foods' list!
Saturday 28 December ~ by George
I don't know what it was that didn't agree with me, could have been last night's vole I suppose, but whatever it was I sicked it up under the sideboard this morning. I don't mind being sick, (if anything it gives me a good appetite), but I'm very grateful that it's the folks who have to clear it up! Later on the folks went off to buy a new nut store. They've already got one which they hang on the washing line, the only trouble is it's got holes in and the Bird Bandits come along and steal all the nuts! So, how daft is this, they've only bought another one with holes in, will they never learn? Probably not, going on previous form. Gemini amazed me tonight. The folks had the Christmas drinks out, which in my opinion smell disgusting, and are definitely not for feline consumption. Anyhow, she only stuck her nose in a glass, and decided she liked 'Baileys', Yeeeeuuuuuccckkkkk! (and she has the cheek to moan when I've licked garlic butter!) I predict it'll be her turn to throw up tonight!
Friday 27 December ~ by Gemini
George may make out that he knew that mouse wasn't real, but I think he was fooled at first, at least for a couple of swipes. I knew straight away, partly because it hasn't got any legs (bit of a giveaway that), but also I saw it had 'made in china' stamped on it's bum! Take note, all you fake mouse manufacturers, you've got to be smarter than that to outwit cats like us! We're still very much enjoying our playstation-scratch-post present, both for playing on, relaxing on, sharpening claws on and indeed for knocking over. Well, that last bit wasn't exactly intentional, but we did manage to knock the whole thing over today during one of our 'one up one down' playfights. I was on level three, leaning over to swipe George on level two, who was leaning in the same direction to swipe me back, and it just sort of overbalanced! It did go over with a right 'Thud' too, but we're so quick we were halfway up the hall by the time it hit the floor!
Thursday 26 December ~ by George
No, don't panic, it's not a real mouse! Honestly, did they think we'd be fooled by this? Fair enough, it's the same size as a mouse, and pretty accurate colour wise, but other than that it's about as realistic as Thermal, the stone cat by our pond (i.e. not very). Having said that, I suppose it would be even more unrealistic to expect a real mouse! We did get some fun presents too, one really racy ball that likes being chased round the kitchen floor, (then it hides under the cooker), a jingly thing with catnip in and a sparkly-tinsel-jingly thing. What with the treats and coley, we did rather well I thought. The best things were the empty boxes from yesterday, which we're still playing in today, (that's why it's called 'boxing day', trust me I'm a cat!)
Wednesday 25 December ~ by Gemini & George
Oh, is this it? Are we there now? Yes? Oh good, then we would both like to wish a very, very Happy Christmas to everyone and every cat (oh all right, and dog), in the whole Universe! (And to those who don't have a Christmas, we wish you a very happy day anyway). There have been quite a few cats this year who found new homes by being on our Top Cats rehoming page, which is the best present we, and probably they could wish for, and we hope they're having as much fun as we are. Our best festive purrs go out to all those folks who work so hard in rescue centres everywhere, who give so many animals a second chance, well done! We'll never forget that we were both unwanted once, and it's thanks to our local rescue people that we're here today, loved and cared for. So finally, a special wish for all the animals still in rescues, we hope you find the perfect new home next year. Right then, that's all the sensible stuff out of the way, now we're off to play in the traditional pile of wrapping paper!
Tuesday 24 December ~ by George
The 'Wiggly Waggler' people have gone home now, (I expect they were missing their cats), but no sooner had they gone than Man in Socks came to visit. He did the parcel-swapping thing with the folks, but the main reason for his visit was to make a special seasonal fuss of me and Gemini. Ah yes, two extra Purr-Points to Man in Socks. Then, later on Next Door Lady called in and we got another good fussing. Now I'm getting suspicious. I'm beginning to wonder if they've found out about my Top Ten Humans list, and are trying to notch up a few extra points before I announce who's number one this year. Could be, sneaky things these humans. Daft, but sneaky. Not as sneaky as hazelnuts though, I've spotted their hideout, and am on constant red alert for the sneakiest one. There's always one that escapes from the bowl, and I'll be ready and waiting for it. I'll hunt it down and chase it to within an inch of it's life. Yeah, Big Bad George, defender of the Universe, hazelnut hunter extraordinaire, that's me.
Monday 23 December ~ by Gemini
Oh dear, I think my winter belly is going to be bigger than usual this year, there just seems to be so much yummy stuff going around. Today's yummy thing came after one of the folks had made their 'traditional' banoffi pie. In case you're not familiar with this delicacy, it has whipped cream on the top and well, someone has to lick the bowl after don't they? It's a definite two-cat bowl, so I shared the job with George and he ended up getting the most as always, (he licks quicker than me). I'm fairly sure I used up most of the calories in the one-up-one-down game we had later, which is a game George invented on our new 'playstation' thing. The idea is that one of us goes on the top platform (my turn today), and one on the middle and we have to swipe at each other until one of us falls off. I won todays match by a whisker! (I'm sure there's a joke in there somewhere).
Sunday 22 December ~ by George
Our visitors are still here, and they're great fun, (more fun than our folks but don't tell them). For a start they brought us our new Wiggly Waggler, so they went straight into my Top Ten Humans list. Oh yes, I keep a list of my favourite humans, doesn't every cat? It's a very prestigious list to be on of course, and a place in the Top Ten has to be earned by a process of 'Purr Points'. It works like this, if they do something to make me purr, I award them a Purr Point, and if it's so good I purr for ages after they get two points. At the moment you need five Purr Points to get in the Top Ten, and the Wiggly Waggler scored five straight off! I've lost count of our folks points, but then they add to their score every day. Man in Socks is third, Next Door Lady is fourth and so on, see? If there are any humans out there who didn't know about Purr Points, ask your cat, I bet they keep their own list, and you'd better make sure you're on it!
Saturday 21 December by Gemini
We had two visitors today who we've never met before, but the folks obviously knew them because they're staying in our spare room! I could smell they had cats at home, and lots of them too, so they were very good at cat-fussing. Not only that but they brought us a new 'Wiggly Waggler' to replace the old one that's lost all it's catnip. Now that's the sort of visitors we like! I let George have a play with it of course (it's still his favourite toy), but it was so full of catnip I just couldn't keep away from it, (to tell the truth, it sends me a bit silly). So, here I am going silly with it.
Friday 20 December ~ by Gemini
Never mind 'the cats who got the cream', this morning we were 'The Cats Who Got the Coley'! Oh yes, we got it, all of it! Last night the folks took a piece of coley out of the freezer and put it in the cupboard to defrost overnight (I've got this freezing-unfreezing thing well and truly sussed I can tell you). They made one silly mistake though, and left the cupboard door slightly open. We could smell it of course, so we waited til they'd gone upstairs then launched our attack. The door was open just enough for a smart cat to slip a sneaky paw inside, and open it up all the way. Me and George have got eight very sneaky paws between us, so it was a doddle! I must say food tastes sooooooo good when you know you shouldn't be eating it, and the coley was dee-licious! I can't see that we did anything particularly wrong, I mean they wanted it defrosted, so we just defrosted it for them ~ in our tummies!
Wednesday 18 & Thursday 19 December ~ by George
This last couple of days has been quite hectic by our standards. Lots of comings and goings, visitors bringing parcels and visitors taking away parcels. It's bizarre really, if our folks want parcels and their friends want parcels, why don't they just keep the ones they had in the first place? I never will fathom humans, no logic whatsoever. My favourite bit of the last couple of days was tinsel time! I love it, from the bit where the tinsel box comes out, and the bit where I get in the tinsel box, to the bit where I 'help' put it up round the walls, it's shiny, sparkly, pounce-tastic fun! This year I managed to kidnap one of the red and gold bits, and wrestled with it all round the floor and behind the telly. Things will get even more exciting now the tinsel's up. I'm now just waiting for my next favourite bit, the hazelnut footballs!
Tuesday 17 December ~ by Gemini
I know this sounds awfully kitteny for me, but I gave one of the folks the right run-around today in the garage. They'd gone to get one of their bikes out, and I nipped in between their legs and went off exploring the latest boxes and 'stuff' to be dumped in there. It's a bit of a playground for us, but for some reason they didn't want me in there right at that time, so they tried to pursuade me out again. I wasn't in the mood for being pursuaded out though, I was in the mood to play! There's so much in there to hide behind, empty boxes, ladders, bits of wood, old furniture and general rubbish, that they haven't got a hope of catching me. And I found I can still jump up onto the very top shelf, which is way out of their normal reach. So, I waited until they got up on a chair in an effort to reach me, that I decided I'd had enough and just sprung down gracefully and sauntered out the door. A very classy exit I thought!
Monday 16 December ~ by George
It looks fantastic, I feel fantastic and everything is just fantastic! What looks fantastic? Oh sorry, our tree does. The folks put the lights up on our outside tree today, and it's brilliant. Me and Gemini were underneath it when they were switched on, which is particularly good fun for me as I reflect all the colours. It's the only time I get to be in colour and not just black and white. I managed to be green, red, blue and yellow, and still look as handsome as ever! Most of the year it's only ever me and Gemini who sit in the upstairs window, but the folks joined us tonight to watch the lights. Poppy and Spike have got Christmas lights up outside their place which flash on and off, and we can see those from our window too, so we spent a good hour gazing up the street. Not a bad thing to do when there's a radiator right underneath your bum!
Sunday 15 December ~ by Gemini
I helped with one of my favourite pre-Christmas jobs today ~ wrapping up presents. I don't actually do the wrapping up myself you understand (mainly due to an argument I had once with a strip of selotape). No, I do the important bits like going in all the bags to make sure nothing has been left inside, and pouncing on string (any length, I'm good at all of them). I'm also in demand for sitting on the wrapping paper to stop the edges curling up. And, being something of an expert I know that the thickness of the paper can vary enormously, so I also act as quality control. Basically I control my claws in the direction of the paper, which tests the quality. If I rip the paper with a mere touch, well it's not very good quality, is it? George isn't as mad about wrapping as me ~ he's more of a tinsel man, (any day now George, any day now.)
Saturday 14 December ~ by George
Gemini's prediction was spot on as usual, and the folk have indeed been 'off somewhere' for the last couple of days doing heaven knows what. Consequently, we're going to be a bit cagey about what we got up to while they were away. Miss them? Nah, not really. Maybe a bit, but only a teensy bit. Next Door Lady is pretty good to us when the folks go missing, and this time our favourite radiator was left on for us, so we coped pretty well in the circumstances. I took charge of everything naturally, and kept a good eye on the garden for intruders. There was only one major disturbance, a very noisy cat-fight in the garden opposite, but I left them to it. Well I mean, I don't want to ruin my perfect, handsome, rugged good looks getting involved in any old fight, now do I? No I do not. And anyway, it would have been a very unfair fight, one Big Bad Tough George and only two of them, they wouldn't have stood a chance!
Thursday 12 December ~ by Gemini
I'm going to make a prediction here, and just you see if I'm not right. This morning our 'spaceship' cat food dispenser has appeared, and Next Door Lady was here last night, (she's normally our 'first reserve' fusser and food provider.) No carrier in sight, so we won't be heading for the cattery, that's good. I deduce then, that the folks are 'Going Large' for a day or so. I'd bet my last prawn on it! I'd have made a great detective, 'Gemini Cat, Private Eye', yes it has a certain ring to it, don't you think?
Wednesday 11 December ~ by George
I've heard there's going to be snow soon, and I can't wait. It's one of my very favourite weathers. I thought we were going to get some a couple of days ago, the sky went all grey-white and strange, and then... nothing, what a let down! I love going out when snow's falling, and getting it all over me, and I love it the next day when it's gone all icy and I can slide the length of our path in one skillful skid. It's like coffee-table skating only outdoors, without the coffee-table. There was ice on our pond this morning, and that's usually a good sign that snow's not far away. It wasn't thick enough for Gemini to walk on though, which is just as well because that sends our folks totally bonkers. So much for her one-cat winter panto 'Gemini on ice'. I told her it'd never catch on.
Tuesday 10 December ~ by Gemini
Our folks know how much we love Big Boxes, so they had some delivered today especially for us to play in! Well actually, I have an idea they wanted what was inside the boxes (more completely useless christmas gifts for their unsuspecting friends no doubt), but the boxes are ours, all ours! There was string too, long lengths of squiggly, wiggly, squirmy lengths of string. It's the perfect recipe for fun and games really, take two big boxes, several lengths of string, add two cats and Hey Presto! The folks like to join in too, by grabbing hold of one end of the string while we attack the other. I have to admit I got a bit carried away at one point and attacked the other end of the string, the end with a human on. Unfortunately for them, my claws are very sharp indeed, and they didn't have armour plated gauntlets on. I think you get the picture. It's not my fault, my claws were born sharp!
Monday 9 December ~ by George
It was so cold today, there were only two places to be that made any sense at all. Either sitting right on top of a radiator, or curled up to Gemini's belly. So, this morning we both chose the office, where we can sit on the windowsill looking out over our territory, with our bums and tails right above the radiator. We could tell it was too cold for any bold adventures, because the pond had frozen over, (that's probably how fish fingers are born). Anyway, I explored plan B in the afternoon, with the 'Gemini's Belly' option. Heavenly!
Sunday 8 December ~ by Gemini
After yesterday's noisy goings on, it was a relief to have some peace and quiet today (well, as much peace and quiet that's possible with George about). I joined in one of my favourite activities this morning, which is helping to make the bed. I quite like the bit with the pillowcases, that's where the old ones come off and get thrown out onto the landing, and I have to pounce on them. Also I'm rather good at doing the 'fitted bottom sheet' bit, where I'm required to get underneath it to check for... well, to check for anything that shouldn't be there. Like George for instance. The best bit of fun today though, was getting inside the duvet cover with the duvet, I haven't done that for ages. It's almost as good as getting inside a sleeping bag. Except I have to make sure I'm out before they button it up, or I'd be there all week!
Saturday 7 December ~ by George
You know those moments when you think the world's going to end in the next ten seconds? You don't? Oh, it must just be me then. I had one of those moments this morning, when there was a sudden long, loud 'BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!' from next door, followed by a short gap and then another 'BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!'. Not only was it miles louder than me wailing at top volume (and that's pretty loud), it was making the whole house vibrate. Being the Big Bad Tough Streetwise Special Agent that I am, I thought I should investigate in case the Universe really did need saving, but I decided it was best to stay indoors in case it was really dangerous. I may be Big, Bad and Tough, but I'm not stupid (despite what Gemini says). Gemini went to look from the upstairs window, and said it was a 'new matic drill' (I think that's it). I said I didn't care how new it was, I didn't like it. I hibernated with the Panda for the rest of the day.
Friday 6 December ~ by Gemini
I like to think I'm in control of my body all of the time, but there are those occasions, like today, when my paws and mouth get carried away and just do as they please. It always happens when there are some particularly special or new treats on offer. I usually pride myself on being very ladylike and patient, taking food gracefully when offered, but today's treats just smelt sooooo strong and cheesy and so dee-licious that before I knew it, my paws had carried me full pelt across the floor to the 'treat dispenser' ('her'), and my mouth had lunged forward and grabbed it, together with the ends of two unsuspecting human fingers. Honestly, how undignified, (and I don't even like fingers!). It felt like I had another cat inside me, propelling me forward for the treat, and me having no control. George said I looked like I could easily fit another cat inside me. Naturally I boxed his ears, (I was fully in control of my paws that time!)
Thursday 5 December ~ by George
I may have been putting a brave face on things, but underneath I'm really missing my 'email girlfriend'. She's still email-less, and it's been weeks since we've been in touch. I miss all those nice things she used to say, calling me rugged and handsome, and telling me that I was her hero (sometimes). I miss hearing about how she beats up the cat next door, and I miss her teaching me long words (she's miles smarter than me). I hope she hasn't forgotten all about me, after all she has one of my whiskers to remind her. I wondered if maybe she's not email-less any more, and is emailing another cat! Oh no, surely that couldn't happen. She'd never find a cat as loyal, cute and totally brilliant as me. Maybe she'll get an email address for Christmas, I do hope so. I'll be here, waiting and hoping, by the computer (sometimes).
Wednesday 4 December ~ by Gemini
I've found myself a new place to hang out. Or more accurately, hang over. I am beginning to make 'level three' of our playstation my own special spot, and don't I look so chilled out? The sun shone today for the first time since we had our new toy, so I've only just realised that it's exactly tall enough to catch the rays, how perfect! I can survey all around from up there, and I'm in the right position to give George a swipe if he disturbs me too. Sorry George, there really is only room for one, and I'm the one!
Tuesday 3 December ~ by George
OK, I'm officially back on form as at today. George, Mouse-Catcher Extraordinaire, strikes again. Mice look out, George is about. Admittedly I only caught one, but that's one more than Gemini. Sadly, it didn't put up too much of a chase, and I do so like the chase bit. The folks gave me a little amusement however, by attempting to chase me when they spotted me with it in my mouth, in a futile effort to get it off me, (not a chance, slow-coaches!). Eat it? Of course I ate it, all except for the 'inside' bits, they're too yukky even for me! I didn't run fast enough this afternoon though, the folks had already locked up the catflap, then they cornered me in the bedroom, and... You guessed it, it was my turn to go down the vets. Turned out it was only for my annual jab and check-up, but why, oh why do I have to go in a car? I hate cars! I don't care how far away it is, give me directions next time, and I'll walk!
Monday 2 December ~ by Gemini
I'd heard of 'playstations', but didn't know what they were until ours arrived on Saturday. I'd also heard of games where you reach different 'levels' depending on your skill, but I hadn't realised they were cat type games! Now of course, I'm completely clued up and am practising with it regularly. Level one is on the floor underneath the furry tunnel, so there's no skill in that (that's obviously for kittens), level two is a graceful leap away, and I mastered that with no trouble at all. Level three, the top level, is naturally achievable by only the most agile and smart cats. It hardly needs saying then, that both myself and George have reached level three. I should point out though, that despite George showing off in the first photo yesterday, it was me who got to level three first. Just for the record.
Sunday 1 December ~ by George
Oh, it's my turn, I get to write about our new 'thing', brilliant! Well it arrived yesterday totally unexpectedly (unexpected to us anyway, I gather the folks knew and kept it secret). It's big and red and has three posts (scratch city!), two upper levels (view-tastic!) and a fluffy tunnel (no idea why). It's basically a climbing frame-scratching post-playstation thing, and it's in our kitchen! There are bound to be hundreds of new games I can invent with it, but for today I was happy just to master being 'king of the castle, top of the heap' and attacking Gemini from above. We couldn't do this with our old scratching post, (he's gone into the garage to sulk).
Saturday 30 November ~ by Gemini
Today started out quite ordinary: back garden patrol, breakfast, wash and snooze, front garden patrol, mid-morning snack, wash and snooze, next door's garden patrol, lunch, wash and snooze, nothing unusual. And then it arrived. An innocent ring on the bell, the folks opened the door, and there it was, large as life. Had I miscalculated the date? Was it Christmas already? No, definitely not. There's no lights up in our tree, and no tinsel up indoors, so there's no way it's Christmas. My birthday? Nope. George's birthday? Nope, we were both summer kittens. A reward for being the best cats in our house? Probably not. We looked at each other and decided not to ask any more pointless questions and just enjoy it instead. What is it? Oh
Friday 29 November ~ by George
What's soggy on the top, muddy on the bottom and is handsome all over? Me, of course! Oh, you guessed it already, that last bit must have given the game away. Yes, that was me today coming in out of the rain, and there was plenty of it to come in out of too. My muddy pawprints lasted right across the kitchen, and halfway down the hall, and that's pretty muddy. One of the folks got my Big Towel out and smothered me up in it and rubbed all the rain off. I absolutely love the Big Towel game, (sometimes I wail outside the airing cupboard to make them get the towel out, even when I'm not wet.) Today they played the mouse-on-a-string game with me too, which is great fun, even though I know it's not a real mouse. It's basically a toy mouse on a string, placed under the towel and pulled along so the 'mouse' appears to be moving under the towel, and I have to pounce on it. Luckily, pouncing is one of my very best things.
Thursday 28 November ~ by Gemini
George may be justly proud of his tongue, and I'll agree it's certainly longer than mine, but I have conclusive proof it doesn't do tasting as well as mine. I mean, if it was capable of tasting to the sophisticated level that mine is, there's no way he'd eat frogspawn in the Spring! And further proof if any was needed, came today when the folks offered us both some of their 'ham style' Quorn slices. It only took one sniff for me to know that this stuff wasn't going to taste remotely like real ham, so I naturally turned my nose up at it. George however was totally fooled, he sniffed it and gobbled it up without a second thought, even coming back for more. Yeeuuuukkk! I know I have something of a reputation for eating, but I do have my standards. And anyway, what's the point of ham 'style', if they want something that's really ham style, why not buy ham? I despair sometimes, really I do.
Wednesday 27 November ~ by George
I've had one of those 'bonkers' days today (I had some spare energy, so it has to go somewhere.) It confuses the folks when I'm like this, they think I must want something, with all my rushing round and wailing. They don't understand the idea of doing it just because I feel like it. I scoot behind the living room curtains, wail, scoot under the table, wail again, spring up onto the back of the settee, scratch and wail, down again and out into the kitchen, wail some more, run up the hall and behind the hall curtains, wail (get the picture?). Phew! I wore myself out in the end, mission accomplished! And before you ask, no the picture isn't at all relevant to today's excitement, I just thought I'd show off my tongue, great isn't it? It's much better than Gemini's!
Tuesday 26 November ~ by Gemini
Our friend the 'Giggle Lady' came to see us today. She did her usual amount of giggling, and a very acceptable amount of cat-fussing too. She has two cats at home, not that I've ever been there but I can smell them on her jeans, and I feel I sort of know them through that. I rubbed all round her legs to make sure I sent my smell back in return, which I'm sure they'll appreciate. I get to know quite a few cats like this, (and also dogs, but they're not nearly so interesting). The folks tried to get me to play George's 'Trick & Treat' game (cat treats hidden under their hands and swapped about a la Paul Daniels), but I was having none of it. If George wants to go back and forth playing guessing games for cat treats that's up to him, but I'm far to dignified for that. I'm never that desperate for a cat treat. Prawns maybe, but not treats!
Monday 25 November ~ by George
I had a very close shave today. No I don't mean I had my fur shaved, that would be extremely daft (and very chilly), no, I mean I had the sort of close shave that almost ended up with me in the pond. The folks took the leaf-net off the pond yesterday, and there's all this slippery mossy stuff on the slippery slabs at the side of the pond, just waiting to catch me out. My back legs had the closest shave, as that was the bit of me that slipped off, but I scrabbled like a mad thing and managed to save myself getting any wetter. So 'Ha Ha Ha' to the slippery slabs, they didn't get me this time! Slippery Slabs are no match for Big Bad Tough Streetwise George, Special Agent Double-O one-and-a-half. I've fallen in the pond before (twice), but that was several summers ago, long before I was a Special Agent!
Sunday 24 November ~ by Gemini
How about this then, an early Christmas present! Ever since we had our new cat bed made for us, I've fancied having a 'posh' cover for it, and hey presto, here it is! Fluffy Zebra stripes to complement my fluffy tabby stripes, or is it black and white as camouflage for George maybe? Who cares, it's simply gorgeous! It's No less than we deserve of course, and I spent a large part of today draped over it looking superb. It's days like today I realise how much our folks must love us, not only did we get our posh bed cover, but we got prawns too! I hope all cats have days like this.
Saturday 23 November ~ by George
It was a very good day for chasing today. Although most days are good for chasing in my opinion, today was a particularly good one. I began with chasing leaves outside, while the folks were trying to clear the last of them off the grass, (notice I don't call our grass a lawn, that would imply it was neat and organised and it isn't). I had a go at chasing the balloons later, although they're a bit big, so as soon as one turns round and chases me back, I run for it! 'What balloons?' you might ask, but if I told you the honest truth about the balloons, our folks would probably be locked away in some secure, white room with locks on the outside only, and who would feed us then? No, best I keep quiet about the balloons. Anyway, the best bit of chasing was in the evening, when I got to play the lottery. This is where one of the folks screws up the (losing) lottery ticket, and throws it across the room for me to chase. I love that, I can do 'headers' and everything! I'm goalie, attack, defence, the lot, a one-cat five-a-side team in fact!
Friday 22 November ~ by Gemini
I have to admit something a little embarrassing happened today. I'd decided to help out in the office, and one of the things I like doing is re-arranging all the leads and cables behind the desk. Humans leave them in such a muddle, they need a Tabby's touch. The desk is backed up close to a wall, so I squoze myself in behind it, squirmed my way through the mass of wires, squished my tummy in to get past the wall socket, and then when I'd got to the bit where I can usually turn round... I couldn't. There just wasn't any space to turn round in, I couldn't reverse because of all the cables and I couldn't jump up because the computer was in the way. I'm usually very resourceful, but short of finding a secret trap door in the floor, I couldn't see a way out of this one. I had to resort to a pathetic little 'help!' type miaow, as I say, all highly embarrassing. I had to give George a swipe for daring to suggest that I was too wide for the available space. No George, someone must have moved the desk back, OK? Got that? (swipe) Good!
Thursday 21 November ~ by George
I like new discoveries, and today I made a new discovery. Onion skins. I always thought they were pretty boring, like potato peelings (yes that boring), but they know how to play a good game of chase do onion skins. There was a whole pile of them waiting to be taken down to the compost bin, and then one bit escaped out onto the kitchen floor! It was light as a feather, so every time I ran past it went sailing round in the breeze . It was begging me to chase it, so I did, and what a chase we had. I kept trying to swipe it, but as soon as my paw got near it floated a bit further. I pounced on it a couple of times, and it crinkled up a bit, but it still kept going. It was like a butterfly without the brains. Unfortunately the game ended when it blew under the fridge. I'm too big to get under there, and believe me I've tried!
Wednesday 20 November ~ by Gemini
We had a visit today from two old friends, Big Van Man and Big Bags Lady. The odd thing was that they arrived together in Big Van Man's Big Van, and they knew each other! I've known each of them for years, but they've always arrived separately in the past, how strange. It threw me for a bit, I didn't know which one to go to for a fuss! George sorted it out in the end, he chose Big Bags Lady so I took Big Van Man. Yes, that's the way, collar your visitors to give you a good fuss as soon as they walk through the door. It makes people feel at home I think, having a cat to fuss. Even better than a cup of tea probably. George wanted to know what would make someone feel welcome if they had elephants at home, but I refused to answer such a ridiculous question. He's got a thing about elephants that boy. One day an elephant will come knocking at our door, then we'll see how Big and Tough he is!
Tuesday 19 November ~ by George
I must tell you about the letter I had yesterday, (sort of fan mail I think!), they'd addressed it with my full title: ('Professor Big Bad Tough Rugged Streetwise Misunderstood George Mucky Cat, Agent Double-O one-and-a-half (Hermiolios), Defender of the Universe'). There was hardly any room for the address! Gemini has banned me from adding to it, she says it's getting silly. Me? Silly? I think not. Every one of those names was chosen with thought, and for very good reasons (although the 'Professor' bit might be stretching the truth a little), and I earned those names! Gemini calls me lots of other names, but I'm choosing to ignore those, and I absolutely refuse to respond to 'Sausage' or 'Squidge'. My highlight today was a bonkers session on the kitchen floor with my 'Wiggly Waggler' which is still my best toy. Top of my Christmas list is a new one, because I've sniffed all the catnip out of this one.
Monday 18 November ~ by Gemini
I'd just come in from garden patrol this morning, when I heard the tell-tall thud of paws on wood outside. I leapt up to the kitchen window and spotted the Ginger Thug sitting on our fence. I could only see his rear end, but I know that rear end anywhere. Hmmmm, to fight or not to fight, that was the question. Could I be bothered? Was he worth it? I decided to watch and wait, and if he jumped down our side I would attack, and if he went next door I'd let him go. He stupidly decided to head for our fish pond, BIG mistake matey! I hit the ground running and crashed through the catflap. I'd only got halfway across the patio when he realised his mistake, and retreated back over the fence at what must have been 'George Warp Speed eleven' at least! Oh this is getting too easy, no-one stands up to me these days. Is my TFT (Top Fighting Tabby) reputation that good? Surely not, I'm a total pussy-cat at heart. Obvious really.
Sunday 17 November ~ by George
I'd only just got used to being in charge and the folks are back already. I don't know where they went, but they came back with the strangest things. They look like kittens, only they're not real. They're quite cuddly though, so me and Gemini decided to snuggle up on the duvet with them. This photo was taken before we realised they weren't cat toys for us, (although I expect that's what we'll use them as), they're slippers! I'm not even going to try to get my head round that one, I'll just add it to my very long list of Totally Unfathomable Things Humans Do.
Friday 15 November ~ by Gemini
I was right, the folks have packed up the bag, and next door lady came round, so we know she'll be feeding us while they're away. We'll be in charge of everything of course, and I've told George he's to behave himself and not bring in any half-eaten mice, and definitely no pigeons from next door's tree! Looking on the bright side, next door lady does a nice line in treats, and it beats going to the cattery!
Thursday 14 November ~ by Gemini
One of us is in for a trip to the vets soon, but I can't work out which one. No, we're not ill thankfully, but a card came through the door from the vets this morning, and that can only mean one thing. How do I know it's from the vet? Well because I can smell it of course! Cards from the vet always have that certain whiff that's totally unmistakeable. I didn't tell George, and he won't notice now because it's stuck on the mantelpiece, but I know, mark my words. I also think the folks are off on one of their 'going somewhere else' expeditions soon, due to one of the 'Big Bags' appearing. There's only one bag, so I think they won't be gone long, (I've noticed over the years that if two bags come out, they stay away longer, smart aren't I?). Me and George decided to take advantage of it, and managed to get inside together to play 'Breakout', a game which needs no explanation, the name says it all. Not only does this entertain us greatly, but it ensures that where ever the folks go off to, they take lots of bits of our fur with them!
Wednesday 13 November ~ by George
Due to today's supreme soggy-ness, I am delighted to declare this year's 'Muddy Paws Season' well and truly open! I marked this momentous day (literally) with an amazing display of fresh muddy paw prints all over the kitchen floor, and up on the worktops. My most effective pattern though, was on the tiles on the kitchen windowsill, a masterpiece even by my high standards. I made a bit of an undignified entrance later on though, which I wouldn't have mentioned except that it gives a new dimension to the game... I bowled in through the catflap so fast that I didn't make the 'turn' in time and skidded straight across the floor leaving one of my longest muddy-paws-skid-marks ever! (and if that cupboard door hadn't have been in the way, it would have been even longer!)
Tuesday 12 November ~ by Gemini
My skill base just gets broader and broader (no George, not like my rear end, you're seriously cruising with comments like that). I have been officially appointed chief cat-bed tester, impressive, eh? Ever since making us our whizzy new four-layers-thick fleecy cat bed thing, 'she' has gone into production making more of the things. Well, that's a slight exaggeration, two more to be precise. They're going to end up at the animal shelter where me and George came from, so that some of their cats can have warm bellies too. Where do I come in? Well, someone has to test them out for warmth and efficiency, don't they? I have to snooze on them at every stage of construction, and sometimes even during construction. I'm fully expecting them to end up with little tags on saying 'tested by Gemini'. My only criticism is that one of them is actually better than ours! I've just twigged on, we're sleeping on the proto-type!!!
Monday 11 November ~ by George
One of the folks invented a game today. This is usually my job, so it was a bit of a shock but I thought I'd humour them. I think it was called 'Trick & Treat', and I don't mean 'trick or treat' I definitely mean Trick and Treat. It was a bit like those magicians you see who put things under cups, and trick you into thinking the thing is under the wrong cup, if you know what I mean. Well, anyhow, this was done with their hands cupped over my favourite cat treats, what a tease! I had to guess which hand the treat was under, and they kept swapping them round and confusing me. First left, then right, then one under each, then nothing, Aaaaargh! I'm a smart sort of a George usually, but there's only so much swipping and swapping a brain can take, isn't there? I think I got them all in the end, but in future I'd rather do the tricking please, and the folks just do the treating. Being tricked is no good for my image!
Saturday 9 & Sunday 10 November ~ by Gemini & George
Do you ever get those weekends that just go by so fast you're not really sure if you had one at all? We had one of those this weekend, it whizzed by at the speed of 'George-warp-speed-ten' (that's mouse chasing speed), and that's pretty quick. It was partly that the folks seemed to be in, then out, then in again, then out again, and... why can't they make up their minds! Oh, hold on, that's usually what they say about us. Winter weekends do go quicker than summer ones, that's for sure, in fact we're seriously considering hibernating next year, (Hedgehogs might look extremely silly, but they've got that one right). What we need to do is work out a way to hibernate in the winter, but wake up if there were prawns, tuna or custard on offer. As we've always said, us cats come up with all the best ideas.
Friday 8 November ~ by Gemini
We've had so much rain this week I started to wonder where it all comes from. This morning however was dry, and Marmaduke was in his 'middle of the road' position, so I went up to ask him about rain. He knows practically everything, and if he doesn't know the answer he makes something up that sounds incredibly convincing! He said when it rains it comes down (even I knew that bit), and when it's sunny it goes up again (yeah, right!). It was all to do with evaporation he reckoned (isn't that some kind of milk?), and then he said, wait for this... He reckons that the rain that goes up when it's sunny is the same rain that comes down again when it's wet! That means I've probably been rained on by the same raindrops several times over, what a cheek! I told George what I'd learned, but he was having none of it. He said the bit about rain going back up again was just Marmaduke having a 'senior moment'. I decided to sit on the fence on this one. In this case, the fence between us and next door. I came in when it started raining though.
Thursday 7 November ~ by George
Gemini was in one of her playful moods today, (no doubt because she did next to nothing yesteday), so I obliged with being playful back. Together we make a great team for a game of 'trip the folks up'. This broadly means that we plan to try to trip up one of the folks every time they go upstairs, downstairs, indoors, outdoors, or just when they move from room to room. The real art is to make it look like we're actually playing with each other, and that we just happen to run in their direction by pure chance when they move. One of my best moves today was when one of them opened the door to go outside, and I made it look as though I was about to go through the catflap, but changed my mind at the last second and darted through their legs like a furry tornado! Heh, Heh, Heh, they didn't see that one coming!
Wednesday 6 November ~ by Gemini
It's really started to feel like winter now, so it's time to make absolutely sure of where the warmest places in the house are, so that me and George can bags them before the folks. I think it's unlikely that our folks would fight me for today's warmest spot though, on top of the cooker. They don't really use the cooker as much as normal humans (I'm certain it's because neither are very good at cooking), but they can throw together a good winter stew, like today. This is especially good as it's all done in the oven, so the cooker top stays down flat, and gets nice and warm for me! I thought maybe they could put the cooker on for a couple of hours every day, even when they aren't cooking anything. Yes, that's a brilliant idea, why didn't I think of it before? In fact, why didn't they think of it? As usual, cats have all the best ideas.
Tuesday 5 November ~ by George
I'm not going to go on and on about fireworks again, I'll get as boring as a boring thing that's gone on an advanced boring course. No, instead I'm going to say how I think I discovered today that I like chocolate. Or rather I discovered today that I think I like chocolate. I'm not totally convinced, I just had a little, licked off one of the folks fingers, and I think it's something I ought to like. It's a bit like fruit yoghurt, it looks and smells like something I should like, but when it's actually in my mouth I'm not so sure. I'll give it another go next time there's some on offer and make a decision then. It's not as good as mouse or sparrow, but half the delight in those is the catching, rather than the eating. Maybe if chocolate or fruit yoghurt ran round the kitchen floor and I had to pounce on it first, it might improve the taste!
Monday 4 November ~ by Gemini
I've been catching up on naps today, one of which was in a very unexpected place. For some reason there was a sleeping bag in the office, which is definitely not normal. It was all zipped up with no-one in it, so what is a self-respecting tabby to do but investigate it. I investigated right down to the bottom and found it was lovely and cosy, and I figured George would never find me there, so I just curled up and went to sleep. I had a good hours snooze before I was discovered and turfed out, (just as well or I'd have ended up in the washing machine with it), so I joined George on our new fleecy cat bed thing. Isn't it perfect? (Just like me!)
Sunday 3 November ~ by George
This morning was so nice I thought I'd sit outside waiting for another pigeon to come my way. I'm very patient, I can sit for absolutely ages under next door's tree watching, waiting and hoping. Gemini said I must get really bored sitting there, but she's missed the point totally! Boring? No way! That tree's incredibly interesting, always something going on. Pigeon lands, pigeon takes off, leaf falls off, pigeon flaps its wings ('go on fall, fall, please fall'), pigeon doesn't fall, another leaf, sparrows arrive, another pigeon arrives (that doesn't fall either), sparrows take off, several more leaves fall, elephant lands in tree (only joking). See? Not in the least bit boring. I didn't get a pigeon, but I did get a prawn and some other unidentified seafood thing later. There's not many things that will tear me away from that tree when I'm concentrating, but seafood is one of them. A visit from the Queen might be another, but that's not happened yet.
Saturday 2 November ~ by Gemini
I've been a very helpful cat indeed today, even if I do say so myself. The folks were doing 'leaf clearing', shifting all the piles of leaves from next door's tree, so I assumed the role of director/supervisor. I've found the perfect place to do this is from the top of the compost bin. I can see all that's going on from there and it's warm underneath my bum! I helped later too, when one of them went next door to take their post in (the next door folks have gone off and got lost somewhere again). When they opened the door, they were a bit startled that I nipped straight inside behind them, and they tried to shoo me out. Yes you heard right, shoo me out! Don't they realise I'm always welcome next door. I mean when they're home, I usually get milk, and sleep on their bed and... Oh, come to think of it, our folks probably don't know!
Friday 1 November ~ by George
Yesterday's Big Box is still in the hall, and we haven't got fed up with it yet, so we've been having fun with it on and off all day. Playing in it, on it and round it, pouncing on it, trying to break into it, then out again and, well you get the picture. There aren't many things in life as versatile as a Big Box, in fact every home should have one. If I was in charge that's the first thing I'd do, make a law that every house with a cat should have a Big Box. The second thing I'd do is commission someone to invent 'bang-less fireworks'. There were even more of them going 'bang' tonight than before, and I'm certain they've got even louder. I spent most of the evening halfway up the stairs, which luckily is a no-bang zone.
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