Search found 39 matches

by Jules20
Sun Jul 21, 2019 9:18 pm
Forum: Bereavement Support
Topic: I just cannot seem to accept my loss
Replies: 12
Views: 250

Re: I just cannot seem to accept my loss

Thank you for your kind words Donna. No your response is not extreme at all. I think it shocks us sometimes how much we grieve for them but they are such a big part of our lives why wouldn't we. You are braver than me going to the dentist! I had an appointment booked for the week after I lost Merlin...
by Jules20
Wed Jul 17, 2019 10:00 pm
Forum: Bereavement Support
Topic: I just cannot seem to accept my loss
Replies: 12
Views: 250

Re: I just cannot seem to accept my loss

So sorry for your loss DonnaK It is a really painful experience so you have no need to feel embarrassed. The 'what ifs' are a normal part of this grief and it will take you a while to process it. Everybody's different but I barely functioned in the first few weeks after and I still struggle 8 months...
by Jules20
Wed Jul 17, 2019 9:47 pm
Forum: Bereavement Support
Topic: I just cannot seem to accept my loss
Replies: 12
Views: 250

Re: I just cannot seem to accept my loss

Hi Bertie The NHS waiting lists are so long these days (I have been waiting since January). The only other thing I can suggest is to find a private therapist if money allows. There are some pet loss counsellors out there who do phone counselling as well. I don't know if you have anyone you can talk ...
by Jules20
Wed Jun 12, 2019 9:14 am
Forum: Bereavement Support
Topic: Saying goodbye
Replies: 7
Views: 278

Re: Saying goodbye

So sorry for your loss Lara. I understand the pain you are going through. Sending you love and hugs xxx
by Jules20
Wed Jun 12, 2019 9:10 am
Forum: Bereavement Support
Topic: Why is life so cruel and unfair ?
Replies: 9
Views: 318

Re: Why is life so cruel and unfair ?

Everything you say is so true Mollycat. It is a loss that cuts very deep because of all the things you mentioned. Others expect us just to crack on and be fine with it which doesn't help when we feel broken inside. It really does help to find like-minded people who understand your loss and even just...
by Jules20
Thu Jun 06, 2019 9:14 am
Forum: Bereavement Support
Topic: Goose Rainbow Bridge May 28 2019
Replies: 7
Views: 176

Re: Goose Rainbow Bridge May 28 2019

Thank you for your kind words Gloria (my middle name is Gloria). You are right about the sadness and about not being able to go down the path with them. It is tough when they are such a big part of our lives and we love them so much. I'm glad you are able to express your feelings to your husband. It...
by Jules20
Wed Jun 05, 2019 8:59 am
Forum: Bereavement Support
Topic: Why is life so cruel and unfair ?
Replies: 9
Views: 318

Re: Why is life so cruel and unfair ?

So sorry to hear about your angina Bertie. This grief does take a toll on our health so we do need to try and take care of ourselves but I know how difficult it is when we feel this intense grief. I do understand how you feel about family, I feel like that with some of my work colleagues and barely ...
by Jules20
Wed Jun 05, 2019 8:42 am
Forum: Bereavement Support
Topic: Goose Rainbow Bridge May 28 2019
Replies: 7
Views: 176

Re: Goose Rainbow Bridge May 28 2019

So sorry for your loss of Goose. My boy was 21yrs old too (I had him for 12yrs) and we certainly don't miss them any less because they were a good age. We do have a lot of lovely memories to look back on but it is hard to see them sometimes through the pain we feel. My husband was very sad and still...
by Jules20
Sun May 19, 2019 4:27 pm
Forum: Bereavement Support
Topic: Some thoughts on letting go.
Replies: 27
Views: 582

Re: Some thoughts on letting go.

Beautiful song Lilith...made me all weepy. Yes even this evening when I was running a bath, I had a split second of thinking that I forgot to close the bathroom door as my boy had a habit of trying to clamber up the side of the bath...and it's been 6 months without him. It really does take time for ...
by Jules20
Wed May 15, 2019 8:48 am
Forum: Bereavement Support
Topic: Why is life so cruel and unfair ?
Replies: 9
Views: 318

Re: Why is life so cruel and unfair ?

I totally understand Bertie. It's 6 months for me now and I still struggle everyday with the pain of losing my Merlin. I have read a lot of stuff on pet bereavement and it is as painful (if not more so) than some human losses and it does seem from talking to others that it takes a long time to heal ...
by Jules20
Wed May 08, 2019 9:19 am
Forum: Bereavement Support
Topic: Why is life so cruel and unfair ?
Replies: 9
Views: 318

Re: Why is life so cruel and unfair ?

Yes Bertie I agree, the pain of losing a beloved cat is intense and unrelenting. I have had people say to me 'life carries on' and 'it's the cycle of life and death' like I could just pick myself up and move on if only I understood that. Well, I do understand that but death still totally sucks to me...
by Jules20
Wed May 08, 2019 9:07 am
Forum: Bereavement Support
Topic: Some thoughts on letting go.
Replies: 27
Views: 582

Re: Some thoughts on letting go.

So sorry my heart goes out to you. xxx
by Jules20
Wed Apr 24, 2019 9:29 pm
Forum: Bereavement Support
Topic: Still isn’t getting any easier
Replies: 5
Views: 166

Re: Still isn’t getting any easier

5 months in for me Bertie and I don't see any light at the end of the tunnel either. Please don't be too hard on yourself, I don't think a year is very long in grief terms and it takes a long time for some us to crawl through it. I hope your counselling comes up soon as it may help even if it's just...
by Jules20
Wed Apr 03, 2019 10:57 am
Forum: Bereavement Support
Topic: Tragic death of my cat
Replies: 6
Views: 216

Re: Tragic death of my cat

I am so very sorry for your loss. My heart really does go out to you. I haven't lost a cat in this way but I do understand the feelings of shock, guilt and devastation that you are feeling right now. You didn't give up on him and saved him from more pain and suffering in the end and he is at peace n...
by Jules20
Tue Apr 02, 2019 12:21 pm
Forum: Bereavement Support
Topic: Maybe it’s time ,
Replies: 23
Views: 648

Re: Maybe it’s time ,

Hi Bertie I'm glad you have decided to get some help. I think that grief takes a long time to heal from but it can help to have someone to help us work through it. I have just had some counselling myself through work as my work pay for it. As Mollycat said she just gave me coping techniques when rea...
by Jules20
Thu Mar 14, 2019 10:54 am
Forum: Bereavement Support
Topic: Maybe it’s time ,
Replies: 23
Views: 648

Re: Maybe it’s time ,

Lilith, you always sum everything up perfectly! I was explaining to someone the other day that I never really looked forward to visiting my dad, I still did because I loved him and we were very close but towards the end he was miserable and depressed and it was hard sometimes. Compare that with Merl...
by Jules20
Fri Mar 01, 2019 10:51 am
Forum: Bereavement Support
Topic: Maybe it’s time ,
Replies: 23
Views: 648

Re: Maybe it’s time ,

Yep, I agree with everything Lilith says! People are very uncomfortable around grief in general. I think most people are just on the edge of their own unhappiness and woe betide anyone that may express their emotions and bring them down with them. My mother-in-law told me 'well he was an old cat' an...
by Jules20
Wed Feb 20, 2019 6:02 pm
Forum: Bereavement Support
Topic: Maybe it’s time ,
Replies: 23
Views: 648

Re: Maybe it’s time ,

We will always remember them Bertie and yes there will still be bad days, I don't think grief ever goes away completely.

So glad there are some good days for you now though.

Hugs and kisses to you and Basil xxx
by Jules20
Fri Feb 15, 2019 10:43 am
Forum: Bereavement Support
Topic: Maybe it’s time ,
Replies: 23
Views: 648

Re: Maybe it’s time ,

Good to hear from you too Bertie. Aww the Valentines card is such a nice idea. Yes the memories do live on and Merlin will always be in my heart too. It is still early days for me (3 months) and it is a constant struggle to try and live without him but you give me hope Bertie that one day I will be ...
by Jules20
Sun Feb 10, 2019 10:13 pm
Forum: Bereavement Support
Topic: Maybe it’s time ,
Replies: 23
Views: 648

Re: Maybe it’s time ,

Aww Bertie I'm glad Basil is enjoying the spot now, I'm sure Bertie has given his blessing lol. My Merlin was very territorial and would've chased another cat out of his chair but I believe it's different when they cross over and they wouldn't mind at all now. It's just us that feels like we have to...
by Jules20
Wed Feb 06, 2019 9:47 am
Forum: Bereavement Support
Topic: Maybe it’s time ,
Replies: 23
Views: 648

Re: Maybe it’s time ,

There are a couple of cats that come into my garden, I always used to shoo them away when Merlin was here as I didn't want them getting into a fight. There is a black and white one that I hadn't seen since before I lost Merlin but the other day I'm looking out my kitchen window and see him walking u...
by Jules20
Wed Jan 23, 2019 10:24 pm
Forum: Bereavement Support
Topic: My heart is still in a million pieces
Replies: 5
Views: 232

Re: My heart is still in a million pieces

My dearest Bertie this is such a long hard road. I lost my dad 7 years ago and it honestly took me about 4 years to find acceptance as my dad was my world. My Merlin was 20 years old so I should be able to look back and say he had a good long life (and he did) but as ridiculous as it may sound I fee...
by Jules20
Mon Dec 31, 2018 5:39 pm
Forum: Bereavement Support
Topic: Sometimes I feel ,like I am back too square 1
Replies: 16
Views: 487

Re: Sometimes I feel ,like I am back too square 1

Hi Bertie Glad you managed to get through Christmas okay. Yes short trips to family I think is a good idea! I tend to stay in these days at new year anyway so we will be having another quiet one with a glass or two. I miss my Merlin so much, life just isn't the same without him. I know I still have ...
by Jules20
Mon Dec 24, 2018 11:27 pm
Forum: Bereavement Support
Topic: Sometimes I feel ,like I am back too square 1
Replies: 16
Views: 487

Re: Sometimes I feel ,like I am back too square 1

Just staying at home with the husband and having a quiet one this year Bertie.

Please try to take care of yourself and Basil and get through the day as best you can. As Lilith says it'll all be over by Thursday!

Much love and peace to you. Julia x
by Jules20
Mon Dec 24, 2018 7:08 pm
Forum: Bereavement Support
Topic: Sometimes I feel ,like I am back too square 1
Replies: 16
Views: 487

Re: Sometimes I feel ,like I am back too square 1

Bertie, I have really appreciated your kind words and support so please don't think it has gone unnoticed. As you say you know yourself and would get help if you needed it. I have had to do it in the past and I don't think anyone should feel ashamed if they feel they need help. I originally came to ...
by Jules20
Thu Dec 20, 2018 10:38 am
Forum: Bereavement Support
Topic: Sometimes I feel ,like I am back too square 1
Replies: 16
Views: 487

Re: Sometimes I feel ,like I am back too square 1

Hi Bertie My heart really does go out to you. I am not sure what's 'normal' as you know I am still in early stages and the grief is still very raw for me. I do agree with fjm though that it could be clinical depression and that you should seek help. I have been through this myself after I lost my da...
by Jules20
Thu Dec 20, 2018 10:33 am
Forum: Bereavement Support
Topic: I miss her so much it hurts
Replies: 10
Views: 241

Re: I miss her so much it hurts

So sorry for your loss Miss megz. Lost my cat 5 weeks ago so totally get how you feel and understand about the empty home and aching heart. I have found that even kind people don't really seem to get it and make you feel worse so now I just stick to talking about it with people that do understand. I...
by Jules20
Fri Dec 14, 2018 11:50 pm
Forum: Bereavement Support
Topic: Im absolutely heart broken
Replies: 13
Views: 360

Re: Im absolutely heart broken

Thank you Bertie for your kind words it really means a lot. We had an invite to my sister-in-laws but we have decided to stay at home so that if I do have a meltdown, I won't have to worry about upsetting anyone else. We will muddle through as best we can. I hope you and Basil enjoy it this year. Yo...
by Jules20
Fri Dec 14, 2018 5:54 pm
Forum: Bereavement Support
Topic: Im absolutely heart broken
Replies: 13
Views: 360

Re: Im absolutely heart broken

We can never underestimate the love we have for our pets and we don't always realise the true strength of the impact they have on our lives. Nicky this is so true. I lost my small family some years ago (I'm 48 now). My husband has a larger family but there's issues so we don't see them often. I som...
by Jules20
Thu Dec 06, 2018 11:08 am
Forum: Bereavement Support
Topic: In a pickle over Christmas
Replies: 5
Views: 203

Re: In a pickle over Christmas

Hi Bertie I just wanted to say sorry that you are still feeling this way. I know what you mean about Christmas though as it can be a very difficult time for a lot of people. It has only been three and a half weeks since I lost my Merlin which is very early days I know but I have not moved forward at...