cat meowing overnight

[rilinger]

help please!
my cat cries at 2 3 or 4 in the morning. We have my 1 year old son in our room and this will wake him up. I tried spraying her with water and ignoring her. If I close the bedroom door she cries all night long right outside the door which keeps everyone awake still. She has now also started to pee in the bathtub, so when I closed the bathroom door overnight, she cried even more times over night. I live in a 1 bedroom apartment so we have limited options.

I believe she has always been anxious and wanting more attention, but the more I play with her during the day, the more she tends to cry and want to play at night (has been this way for the last 3 years)l.

She has always fought with our other cat as well.

We got her when she was 4 from the humane society. She is now 8.

Thank you for any tips

[lilynmitz]

Oh my, that's one very unhappy kitty. Not only is she bullied by the other cat, which will be making her very anxious, but now she's been pushed another notch down the social order by your little boy. Plus if she's an anxious cat anyway, all the new noises and smells with the baby will be adding to her stress levels. Then she gets shut out of what she probably sees as "the den" at night, which was probably the final straw for her, so the weeing in the bath is classic stress behaviour as a result.

You need to look at her world through her eyes, and deal with the issues that are upsetting her, rather than trying to modify her behaviour by more controlling methods. They just won't work.

Please don't punish her for this behaviour, as it's just making her more stressed and will make her behaviour even worse. It may be tempting to get cross with her for peeing in the bath, but that won't help and she will just see you as being randomly cross with her and more frightened, when what she actually needs is to be made to feel safer and more secure. I would also stop water spraying her. I know it's tempting, as all you want is to sleep, specially with a baby in the house, but this really won't be helping her feel safer.

It might be that night time is the only time she feels safe and is therefore more active at this time, so this is when she asks for attention from you. Difficult one to address though. We don't have the same body clock as a cat, and it's a big ask getting them to realise that! Perhaps making her feel safer during the day would help, so she doesn't feel she needs to crave your attention at night.

Does she also have quiet places she can hide away where the other cat, and the baby, can't get to her? In such a small flat this is really important. In the wild, cats will usually seek out their own separate territory for hunting and sleeping, so forcing them to co-exist 24/7 is difficult for both of them (hence your other cat's "bullying" behaviour - also a stress issue - she doesn't like other cats so close to her). So if you can find places they can retreat to, that will help both of them.

It might also be worth getting a feliway diffuser in, which can help cats cope better with stressful situations.

It's great that you're finding time for play with her, particularly with a new baby in the house, but do you have quality quiet time with her, just sitting with her and cuddling/stroking? This will help her feel calmer as well, as it has the same effect as cats grooming each other - it reinforces their acceptance in the social group.

I also wonder whether this is partly food related. Do you leave food down for her at night? and/or could you give her a big feed just before you go to bed, which will keep her quiet for a while as she sleeps it off. If you're worried about the baby getting into the food, put it on a high surface so he can't reach it. Make sure there's always fresh water down - easy to overlook, but my cat will only drink from a fresh bowl, so I have to change it often otherwise she wails at me for ages till I remember.

She's a very unhappy little cat right now, but she can't sort this out for herself, she needs you to come down to her level and work out why she's unhappy, and what you can do to fix it. You'll be amazed at what a difference a few small changes can make.

[elastu]

Some good advice on here, I also found that a heated bed often settles little ones down.

[JulieandBarney]

What a shame for this poor Kitty, not only is she evidently stressed but 'spraying her with water' when she is upset is totally NOT the right thing to do, please heed the great advice that has been given by Lilynmitz, this is one very unhappy cat.

[Mollysmummy]

Our eldest cat is a very anxious girl. We use a feliway diffuser and can really tell the difference if it's almost run out; I put a new one in a few nights ago and literally within minutes she was settled. It's definitely worth a try.

Maybe she's crying because she's lonely; could you leave a radio on very quietly for her in another room maybe?

[Joanne_]

awww she just sounds like she wants to be close to you:( do you have a routine for her? I have the same routine every night for my cats, they generally go out for a little then are home around midnight I then put one in the front room with food, litter tray and the other two stay in the back room. The one in the front room (Ted) he is so into this routine he just automatically takes him self to bed LOL but sometimes he can start crying at night and it generally means he needs something like more food or just reassurance she is not alone and then he goes back to bed. Also I agree with the others about not punishing her. She does not understand and she is crying for a reason like a baby does.