Hey everyone,
So I live in a small apartment with my 3 year old female (spayed). I have just taken in a 10 month old male (just got him neutered a few days ago).
They have met briefly before but last night was their first full night together. The female was being pretty mean, hissing and not letting him get too close (typical..). But the male would NOT stop meowing at her all night and we didn't sleep til 5:30am.
Separating them in the spare room didn't work- he would just meow in the room to get to her. Most of the night consisted of me holding him like a baby so he would stop meowing!
He's fixed- although recently, so is it possible he is still trying to mate with her, or do you think he is just stressed out that she isn't letting him get to know her? And what can I do to stop the meowing all night..and will it stop over time?
Thank you for any opinions or insights. I have never introduced cats before, especially opposite gender ones, so any help is appreciated! <3
Help**anyone with experience introducing male cat to female!
Help**anyone with experience introducing male cat to female!
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Re: Help**anyone with experience introducing male cat to fem
Hi, you're attributing human responses to their behaviour, and you need to look at it from a cat's viewpoint. You've got a few things going on here.
1. Your boy is still hormonal - it will take a while for them to work their way out of his system.
2. He is also very disoriented, which almost certainly accounts for his calling all night - he has no idea where he is, whether he's in a safe place, whether he's trapped, and whether you are a safe person to be with. He has a lot to take in and learn to trust, and right now he feels lost. Some gentle handling and, if he will let you, a good cuddle, should sort that out. Don't be afraid to go to him each time he calls. He will find it reassuring and will soon learn to settle down.
3. You've introduced them much too suddenly, so your poor girl (very pretty by the way) is not being mean, her hissing is her way of saying she's feeling very anxious and is asking him to keep away from her. All she knows is that her territory, her safe space in the world, has now suddenly been invaded by this young lad and she has know way of knowing your intention that he be a permanent fixture. How would you feel if you came home and found a stranger in your living room, with no explanation? That's how she feels right now.
Go back to square one and try following the tips in these links. Given the suddeness of the intros so far, it bodes well that they will eventually learn to get on, but do give them a bit more time and space to get used to the idea and learn that they are no threat to each other, and to get to grips with the new pecking order, whatever that may turn out to be.
http://www.catchat.org/hierarchies.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
http://www.catchat.org/bonding.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
1. Your boy is still hormonal - it will take a while for them to work their way out of his system.
2. He is also very disoriented, which almost certainly accounts for his calling all night - he has no idea where he is, whether he's in a safe place, whether he's trapped, and whether you are a safe person to be with. He has a lot to take in and learn to trust, and right now he feels lost. Some gentle handling and, if he will let you, a good cuddle, should sort that out. Don't be afraid to go to him each time he calls. He will find it reassuring and will soon learn to settle down.
3. You've introduced them much too suddenly, so your poor girl (very pretty by the way) is not being mean, her hissing is her way of saying she's feeling very anxious and is asking him to keep away from her. All she knows is that her territory, her safe space in the world, has now suddenly been invaded by this young lad and she has know way of knowing your intention that he be a permanent fixture. How would you feel if you came home and found a stranger in your living room, with no explanation? That's how she feels right now.
Go back to square one and try following the tips in these links. Given the suddeness of the intros so far, it bodes well that they will eventually learn to get on, but do give them a bit more time and space to get used to the idea and learn that they are no threat to each other, and to get to grips with the new pecking order, whatever that may turn out to be.
http://www.catchat.org/hierarchies.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
http://www.catchat.org/bonding.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Re: Help**anyone with experience introducing male cat to fem
Thank you so much for the advice!
I've known Soot (baby boy in the picture) for a while now- he used to be my sister's cat for a couple months so I would see him often and he is very familiar with me. When my sister moved away, I took him, and he has been living in our friends apartment upstairs before his neuter appointment, and during this time I would exchange their blankets/smells over the course of a couple of weeks, and they were living in different apartments above and below each other.
I brought him downstairs eventually and introduced them in separate rooms for about an hour each day for one week, then I'd bring him back upstairs. So he became familiar with our space too. Eventually I had them both in the same room..but this is just the first time he has stayed A WHOLE NIGHT and since he has been fixed and the meowing was insane!
So it's probably a combo of...his hormones still active and stress of getting to know each other.
Will check out the links...thank for your reply<3! hope its falls into place soon....
I've known Soot (baby boy in the picture) for a while now- he used to be my sister's cat for a couple months so I would see him often and he is very familiar with me. When my sister moved away, I took him, and he has been living in our friends apartment upstairs before his neuter appointment, and during this time I would exchange their blankets/smells over the course of a couple of weeks, and they were living in different apartments above and below each other.
I brought him downstairs eventually and introduced them in separate rooms for about an hour each day for one week, then I'd bring him back upstairs. So he became familiar with our space too. Eventually I had them both in the same room..but this is just the first time he has stayed A WHOLE NIGHT and since he has been fixed and the meowing was insane!
So it's probably a combo of...his hormones still active and stress of getting to know each other.
Will check out the links...thank for your reply<3! hope its falls into place soon....
Re: Help**anyone with experience introducing male cat to fem
It sounds like you've basically been doing all the right things, you've just rushed the last stages, and it's all been a bit much for them. Go back a few paces and slow it down a bit, and it sounds like you'll get there. Keep us posted, and good luck!