Rescued cat

[HelenGodfrey25]

18 months ago we rescued a 6 year old pedigree cat from the Cats Protection. The poor thing had been left in a cage and used as a "Kitten Machine" all of her adult life. Whilst she has taken to our older Tom (15 years old) she is petrified of us. I understood that this would be the case and basically left her to find her way and make herself at home. She is happy enough to come to the kitchen and to tell us about dinner time, but still will not let us anywhere near her. She see us fussing the older cat all the time, but still will not allow us to be near her. She uses the cat flap and is never far from home. I am concerned that she will be very lonely. Please help.

[meriad]

she's probably one of the happiest cats ever. She's warm, can come and go as she pleases, has food, water and company when she wants.

If you're happy with things as they are, then believe you me - she's just fine!

[Crewella]

I agree. You've done a wonderful thing for her - her life is so very much better in every way. As she's not used to fuss and cuddles she won't miss it, and as you say she shies away from contact because it's not something she understands. She's a lucky girl, and you might even find, as the years pass, that she will gradually stop viewing you with such suspicion.

If you're happy with things as they are, then I wouldn't worry - she's fine. The only problem I can see is if she needs veterinary treatment at some point in the future. For that reason, in your place I would (very, very gradually) try to get her accustomed to being near you - maybe try offering her a treat every day (in your hand or put it on the floor at first) and see how close she will come to get it. Good luck, whatever you decide to do.

[lilynmitz]

I agree, she has no reason at all to trust humans, so the level of tolerance she shows towards you is a huge compliment, and her life is so very much better than it was in every possible way. As Ria and Helen have said, she may soften a bit as she gets older, but there's no need to push it if she's content. The only reason to encourage more contact with you would be for your own pleasure (and ultimately, hers, once she gets used to it), but also for vet visits. But it will be a very long slow process. I often feel that nervous cats find our size intimidating, ie the way we tower over them, so I've had quite a lot of success by lying on the floor near them and simply talking to them quietly, slowly offering a hand but only advancing it as far as they will tolerate, until eventually they might let you touch them gently and briefly before slowly taking your hand away again (with or without treats!). Always back away slowly as soon as you see them looking tense, as in that way they will see they can "control" the situation and don't feel they're being forced. ie read and respect their body language. Once this line of communication has been opened, mutual trust and understanding may follow, but it can be a slow process.

Presumably she has now been spayed? If not, please get her done for obvious reasons.

[Lilith]

Yes, totally agree - as the saying has it, she must think she's died and gone to heaven!

You do quite right in letting her do her own thing - with some cats you just have to 'love them and leave them alone' although I agree with the precautions re possible vet visits.

I too have had shy/aggressive/unsocialised cats in my time and it can take years for them to show any 'normal' behaviour. Incredibly rewarding when they do though. My Mouse came to me as a feral adolescent and although she now loves to be stroked and comes to headbutt and purr, she still cries piteously if I have to pick her up. I just have to apologise to her, and she settles down and doesn't bear a grudge. She's 13. Her elder cousin Emily, equally unsocialised, is a total cuddlepot...they're all different! My youngest Molly came to me half-grown and a problem child. Bold, aggressive, stroke the wrong ear and she'd have you! Five years on this February she's starting to show a lot of affection; she'll wash my hand but a headbutt on my hand is still an event to be treasured lol. She'll bash round my ankles though, especially if food's in the offing.

I think one of these days your girl will surprise you and begin to make contact and bond with you in her own time. And good on you for taking her on and showing such patience and love