Unhappy cat with herpes virus-any ideas?

[Lovemycat]

Hi, I am hoping to get some advice on how to keep my cat happy and get her to trust me. Apologies for the long post!
She is 1 this week, and I adopted her in November. For the past 6 months she has suffered with severely gunky, dry eyes and has had a surgery to remove an ulcer. During these 6 months I have had to administer various different eye drops and ointments, with only temporary relief. She has now been diagnosed with the herpes virus.
She has been very withdrawn, stopped playing almost completely and will not approach anyone (i think out of fear of the drops). She has become used to them now, when I hold her she does get in the position for them, no towel needed but she definitely doesn't like it.
I think she just feels very overpowered. She does the 'crab walk' a lot towards me which I know generally means she is trying to look scary and may feel threatened and she also rolls on her back quite forcefully when she sees me which I think is her acting submissive?
She doesn't hiss or swat or anything, and she still sleeps on my bed and will let me stroke her only when she is sleepy. She gets plenty of kissss and cuddles at bed time. But the rest of time time she is very wary. The dilemma is that stress can bring on flare ups and as she is constantly stressed because of the situation, she is going through a permanent flare up.
I do try to play with her (not too in her face, just gently and keep my distance) and talk to her all the time, give her treats after the drops but have had to reduce the treats a lot as she has put on weight so don't want to cause other health issues as well
I'm not really sure what to do as I know she doesn't feel comfortable in her own home but I can't let her eyes get any worse. Is there anything that I can do? The only thing that kind of helps is the treats but even then she will run away as soon as shes had them. I did try an approach of 'ignoring' her at one point as Ive read some cats respond to that more than attention but it made no difference and she just became even more complacent. I have to try really really hard to get her to be active in the slightest.
Just to note, she is an indoor cat, spayed and otherwise generally healthy, no problems with food etc.
I thought about trying the Feliway sprays but it says its just to stop scratching and bad behaviours so it not really what I'm after.
Any advice would be much appreciated.

[Lilith]

Hi and welcome

From what you describe, I don't think she sounds too stressed, but of course I haven't met her in person.

She's a quiet cat, sedate, but claims your bed, accepts a cuddle at bedtime, interacts with the scary walk and rolling (which I'm not sure is a submissive thing, like it would be in a dog; I've seen cats roll like this when they're teasing another cat.)

But she doesn't enjoy much contact with you at other times, and has stopped playing as she formerly did.

Many cats seem to set boundaries on stroking/cuddling. My youngest is a fussy, purry, affectionate little object - when SHE wants to be. Other times - hands off! If I stroke her then, she moves away, even gets up out of her chair. When she was younger, she'd bite me.

Also, your girl is grown-up now; no longer a lively kitten. They are all different; some cats are playful throughout their lives; others seem to calm down and be too laid-back to play much.

If you ignore your girl she's complacent - she settles down and does her own thing? Many cats are like this. But you can bet she still likes having you around, albeit in the background

So I wouldn't see her quietness as being stressed - although you will worry, of course, after all the intrusion of eye-bathing, vet visits (although she allows this and enjoys the treats afterwards - a stressed cat would be too scared to accept even a treat.) I'd worry, too, in your place, but I think sometimes we can worry overmuch. It's amazing what cats will put up with, nursing-wise, when they trust you, and it's clear that she does.

Myself, I think she sounds like a quiet cat who's out of the kitten stage now; she's had a bit of a rough time with the herpes, but sounds content in her own space. Hopefully there will be other people along soon who can give more advice but as a self-confessed worrybucket, I'd say please try not to feel guilty about having to treat her for the herpes; you have to give her that care for her own good and she's very lucky that she's got you.

So, this is just my personal take on this, but I feel things are not too bad by the sound, and do hope that you can feel less worried soon. Just let her do her own thing, you're doing all the right things, and give her a kiss from me - when she'll let you All the best with her x

[Crewella]

I tend to agree with Lilith. It's unfortunate that you've had to be so intrusive at a time when you were just getting to kow each other, but she doesn't sound as if she's scared of you. I think you both just need some time and a routine - cats love routines as it helps them to feel in control of things. I would set up a pattern of saying or doing different things when you just want to give her a fuss from when you want to apply medication, so she can be sure that one won't necessarily lead to the other? That might help her to gain some trust. She's lucky to have such a caring owner, good luck.

[JulieJulie]

Have you looked into getting supplements to boost her immune system? My cat has the calichi virus which causes a lot of similar issues and I've got a palatable l-lysine supplement for her called flumax - you can get a similar one online called Enisyl-f.