Cat introduction I can't move forward please help!

[Vada50]

Hi everyone

I have a problem with my cat introduction. I have been doing everything right at least I think I have. Right now I am at the point were I can feed the cats next to each other and the barrier is a glass door a bit open so they can smell each too and there is no hissing. The other day I do it without the door but had to control one of the cat with a toy (the male cat).
So a bit about my cats: My spayed female is the only one hissing, growling etc, she is 3 years and is the resident cat. The new cat is a male of 1 year old, he is a lot bigger than her but he has never hiss or show any aggressive behaviour even when she is like this. The only thing at the beginning I notice is that he was very interested in her and he didn't back down even when she hiss and you could see she didn't want him near her. She just run like prey and he just follow her, I guess he saw her as a toy or just want to play with her. (This happened when my female open a window to came in when he was exploring part of the house .
So my problem is I can't pass this stage every time they finish eating the male just want to sniff the female but she don't want this and hiss. Sometimes she runs but lately she backs down a bit and see him from far away and sometimes if the crack in the glass door is open and he cames near she inserts her paw and try to attack him (no playfully really atacking) and he just keeps trying to smell her.
Today she scaped from my room and met him, she, like always crouch and hissed at him, and he just look at her and wanted to go a bit near her but he saw me and back down not running just walking away and she calm down.
Their has never been a fight, just him cornering her and I just came in time to stop it from scalating. I think the male is a bit active and I have being able to lower his energy and now he is a lot more calm and not trying to run to her to play but I just don't know what to do next so they can be in the same room. I have do it once but I have to play with him only, the female don't want to play she just to look at him and if I get distracted he will go to her, he really just want to be friends with her . Please help me! what can I do so the female accept him. Both cats have their own cat tree and many toys for each, also the house is big, although the female and her toys are in my room and the male is in the safe room with his cat tree and toys. He gets out in the mornings and the nights to go around the house. On those moments the female goes out in the garden and sometimes I locked her in my room ( the garden is totally close and nothing can go in or out, also the male cat have enter my room many times)

[Lilith]

Hi Vada and welcome

Often in these cases the best remedy is time. How long have you had the new boy?

It's very good that they'll feed so close together. Also, you could try a bit of scent swapping - let the boy into your room for a time while the girl is in his. Often it is simply a matter of getting used to each other's scent.

I do feel that in time they'll get used to each other; it can be a slow process but they'll get there. Please keep updating, and all the best

[Ruth B]

I have to agree with Lilith, time and scent swapping is probably the best answer. I would also add that sometimes the best thing is to let them sort it out themselves, and just be ready to wade in if it looks like one is really going to get hurt. Give the lad a good run around with the toys to tire him out before you feed them, then after they have eaten and are ready to settle down for a wash and sleep, take the barrier away and let them interact. She will probably hiss and growl and even bat him a time or two, but is unlikely to go for a full on fight.

Its over two years since I introduce two 6 month old cats (one male, one female, both neutered) to my then 13 year old female resident cat. My lad, Saturn, was a typical bolshy lad, not aggressive but more like he was teasing an old lady. Tiggy, the resident cat, frequently hissed at him and she had a nasty right hook with her paw, but only rarely were the claws extended and even then it was more warning than aggression, to try and make him take the hint. Even now she will still bat him one if he gets too close when she doesn't want it.

If you are unsure as to whether she is just warning him off or really being aggressive i would suggest a You Tube search and learn what an aggressive cat's body language looks like, watch the eyes the ears, the tail and the fur as much as anything, and make sure you have a cushion or a pillow to hand ready to separate them with if it does turn aggressive, you don't want to end up at A&E either.

[booktigger]

Out of interest, is your male cat neutered?

[Vada50]

Out of interest, is your male cat neutered?

Hi, I have to admit he is not neuter yet. Although he is not behaving like one he doesn't spray and he doesn't show any aggression towards anyone she just wants to play, also he is a bit timid and is afraid still of my family he runs away when someone is walking around but they can pet him and he is getting used to them.
I have him 2 months but there were some health issues. He had an abscess (he came with it and no one noticed), it's already fine but it took a lot of time to heal it was very big and I have to desinfect the wound daily after the vet clean and stitch the wound. He took his cone many times. Finally He couldn't anymore and let the wound heal nicely. Also he jump from the 3rd floor, he didn't break anything just a sprain in the leg which is also good now.
I have never had a male cat before only females. Do you think the spayed female can smell he is not neuter and reject him for that? Or is it a energy issue?? Also I have many videos of their interactions but I don't know if I can upload them here.
One last thing, when I let the male out the female is desperately to go out my room or enter the house from the garden I don't know why, I mean she knows he is in there he can smell him, hear him (he likes to meow) and see him when she is in the garden so why she wants to enter?? She doesn't try to enter the house through where he is, she wants to enter through. Different place

[Lilith]

Ah. I think neutering him would be a big step forward.

Your girl has no urge to mate; he does, and that's partly why he's fascinated with her, and she may feel very threatened. Plus un-neutered males can be totally manic, at the mercy of their hormones, and a frustrated male can become quite aggressive and unhappy.

I think neutering will go a long way to defusing the situation; it will take a while for his hormones to calm down of course, but I think you're bound to see a big improvement between them, good luck

[Vada50]

Ah. I think neutering him would be a big step forward.

Your girl has no urge to mate; he does, and that's partly why he's fascinated with her, and she may feel very threatened. Plus un-neutered males can be totally manic, at the mercy of their hormones, and a frustrated male can become quite aggressive and unhappy.

I think neutering will go a long way to defusing the situation; it will take a while for his hormones to calm down of course, but I think you're bound to see a big improvement between them, good luck

Thank you very much for your advice as soon as I have free time I will neuter him, I say this because I need to be near him after the surgery and take good care of him as I did with my female

[Ruth B]

I have to agree that neutering him is probably the quickest way to improve matters and will make him a happier and healthier cat for the rest of his life.

I quite understand that you want to be there to look after him after the operation so just a reminder that neutering a male cat is a far simpler operation with a lot shorter recovery time than spaying a female is. Just in case it means you can fit him in sooner rather than later.

[booktigger]

I would definitely get him booked in - it's a 10 min op with no stitches for a male, so they are back to normal quickly

[Vada50]

I would definitely get him booked in - it's a 10 min op with no stitches for a male, so they are back to normal quickly

Today as an update for weird reason the female didn't hiss or anything when he came near. she was happy to see him because she was going to eat. I am happy because she didn't show any progress in 2 months and yesterday there was an accident and a family member open the door when I was playing with the male before feeding time and the female enter He just rush to her to play but she hiss growl and he just stop and back down. Today too after eating he just didn't pay attention to her and went away. Finally progress it's like a miracle lol.

I will soon schedule the surgery for the male