Cat Will Not Let Us Sleep!

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Cat Will Not Let Us Sleep!

Post by tsitschk » Mon Feb 11, 2019 7:50 pm

Some cat background: I have lived alone with my cat for almost 3 years (got him in August 2016 when he was 2 months old). On a typical night, he sleeps on the bed with me without hesitation or fuss.

I have been in a romantic relationship for over a year and a half, and in this time my cat has NOT been able to relax around my partner at night. When he spends the night (once a week at most), my cat will rub his body against his legs, and present his tummy for rubs. They get along just fine when we're all awake.

The problems start when we get ready for bed. My partner and I have never made any attempt to kick the cat out of the bed. The cat, however, becomes very stressed and goes haywire. He will run back and forth from the bedroom to the living, crying and screaming for nearly an hour. He jumps on the furniture and tries scratching at the art and mirrors on the walls. He never engages in this behavior when I am sleeping alone. He eventually calms down but repeats this several more times throughout the night.

We have tried the following things:
- playing with him before bed
- cat calming treats
- spraying him with water when he jumps on the furniture
- leaving my partner's clothes at my place so he is familiar with his smell
- having one of us sleep in the living room with the cat

We are out of ideas and nothing seems to be stopping this behavior or calming his nerves. Not to mention we are unable to sleep at all!

Any tips or tricks is greatly appreciated. Please let me know if you need more info.

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Re: Cat Will Not Let Us Sleep!

Post by Lilith » Wed Feb 13, 2019 8:47 pm

Oh boy do you have a problem ...

I suppose there's no way you can sleep at your partner's?

I've heard of dogs causing havoc because they couldn't sleep in their owners' bed (one wiped its bottom on the pillow, charming) and a year or so back one poor guy posted on here when his cat kept attacking him at crucial moments bedwise :o (not funny!) but generally cat jealousy is expressed in withdrawal and cold disgust. Your little guy seems to have taken things to frenzy level.

The obvious remedy might seem to be to shut him out of the bedroom ... but no doubt he'll have a battering ram concealed on the premises ... and a megaphone ...

I don't know whether a crate might be a solution, but of course he'd still howl, and could do himself serious damage trying to claw himself a way out ...

You've tried all the sensible solutions too ... There's a link here that includes a link to a free behavioural advice service on Catchat -

You have my sympathies ... it's hellish being deprived of your sleep ... and love-life. My youngest cat was a little monster at one point, trampolining on me at dawn and chirruping happily, ready to start the day ... this sounds cute but it was stressful; I'm insomniac anyway and EVIL if my sleep's interrupted and I really wondered how on earth I could cope much longer and you two must feel the same.

I wish I could help more but other members may be along soon; hope this helps for now - good luck and please let us know how you go on - all the best!

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Re: Cat Will Not Let Us Sleep!

Post by issiandarchie+68 » Thu Feb 14, 2019 3:22 pm

Some time ago I posted on this forum about my beloved Gandhi, and how we have yet to have a good night's sleep over 10yrs of living with him. Since moving house and the hooligan becoming an outdoor cat at the grand old age of 14yrs, things have improved but he has his moments so you have my every sympathy. Now I could relate the remedies we tried, including valerian, too little makes him upset, too much sends him high, suggest your partner (who sounds lovely and very patient) is encroaching on his territory, and so on, but I see you have both already resorted to desperate measures with little success. My advice would be to do what I did some years ago with my cat, Jasper, consult your Vet. Assuming your cat is otherwise in good health, I would tell him/her exactly what you have told us. Ask for a mild sedative, of the type they give when a nervous cat is travelling. This won't knock your pet out cold, but if administered sometime in the evening, will have the effect of settling him down, then hopefully at bedtime, your cat will feel much more relaxed and sleep soundly. The idea behind this is also to break the cycle of his disruptive behaviour. It's like us when something upsets us, every time we pass that spot, we feel anxious, upset.. until we break the habit by taking a different route or ignoring that person. Did it work on Jasper? Not quite the same circumstances but yes, it did.


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Re: Cat Will Not Let Us Sleep!

Post by Bar_IL » Thu Feb 21, 2019 8:01 am

Cats, like all pets dont belong to the bed (in my opinion).
at my place we close all the doors and the cats sleep at the living room. one of the males likes to crawl under the bed before bed time, but its not such a big deal...
i think a crate near the bed, or box with cozy blanket or a warm towel. before ur bed time put the cat at his new bed and walk away, if he tries to crawl into the bed get up and put him back a few times. After the third time just kick him out and he will figure out where he is going to sleep tonight.
hope u figure out what to do with him

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