Elderly cat dilemma

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Rockstar
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Elderly cat dilemma

Post by Rockstar »

Rocky is 18 years old, born in a flower pot to a feral mother. He has lived as an outside cat, in a hot country,occasionally indoors until 3 years ago when we moved to flat and he is now an indoors cat. He has been blind for many years. He eats and drinks but we now have to put his face to the food as he wanders around sniffing for it. He does not respond to his name or tapping anymore. He has become thinner but still has a glossy coat. He walks round and round in the same spot and afterwards we have to take him to the litter tray. He almost daily pees on the floor and sometimes use the tray. His breath is putrid and he drools which smells awful. He smells too. He has never allowed me to wash him but lately has allowed me to shower him without any fuss. He has a dry sore above his eye and one recurrent black sore on his upper ‘lip’. He has not been able to eat dry food for a long time but sometimes jumps away when eating soft fiod. Something hurts him. He still sits next to me and purrs. He sleeps most of the day. Our dilemma is that we will be away for three months due to family commitments. The Porter in our building says he will look after him downstairs in the grounds and he can sleep in a room. I am afraid he will be’lost’, literally and mentally coping with new surroundings and may escape the grounds. Also there are other cats that he doesn’t know and cannot see. We made the decision to put him to sleep but today when I put him in his carrier, he went in for the first time with no fuss. It made me cry and we did not take him. I really don’t want to put him through stress of all the new things but truly if I was not going away we would just continue making him comfortable. I hate to shorten his life but in this situation it is so difficult to make the decision. We feel we are taking his life. In this situation can anyone advise what would be best for him. He is sitting in my lap at the moment and I am almost in tears.
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Mollycat
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Re: Elderly cat dilemma

Post by Mollycat »

They say advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.

In all honesty I think we see and hear what we want to. You offer a very objective summary of what Rocky's life is, you made a firm decision, and then he walked docile compliant and peaceful into the carrier for his final journey, and you took that as a sign you had made the wrong decision. A couple of weeks ago my ex partner had exactly the same experience with our 24 year old cat and took it as the opposite sign. He actively wished she would give him a sign by just walking into the carrier of her own accord, and within ten minutes she did just that.

We all wish we could have just one more day, one more hour. The purpose of euthanasia is to alleviate suffering, when the final outcome is inevitable, to make the 9th life shorter but more peaceful. We want to give them quality of life, and if the quality of life isn't there then all we're doing is prolonging misery.

I don't usually say this but from what you describe, faced with three months away and all the upheaval for Rocky, I think I would be going the same way you first decided. I don't think I would ever forgive myself if things turned badly while I was far away. If you need reassurance that it's ok to take into account your own circumstances when deciding on a pet's life, I will hold my hand up to doing just that. I mean, I knew it would not be long, but the thought of me going back to work and vets not being available at the weekend, were factored into the timing. It's ok to do that, it's not in some way disposing of them like an inconvenience and all the other awful judgements we put on ourselves, it's giving them the dignity of sparing them the stress, physical pain, psychological distress etc of a difficult end of life. We give them all we have and then the day comes when we have nothing left to give but to let them go, in peace and free from pain, the ultimate gift of selfless love when holding on eventually becomes for our own needs and wishes.

Whatever you decide is ok because you are making the best decision you can for your furry companion who you have loved his whole life and still love with all your heart, and you want what's best for him. Whatever you feel is right, is right.
Rockstar
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Re: Elderly cat dilemma

Post by Rockstar »

Thank you for your wonderful reply.
booktigger
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Re: Elderly cat dilemma

Post by booktigger »

Has he seen a vet for some of the things you describe? If not, it might be worth doing, as there might be some medical condition you are unaware of that will help your decision. I have also factored my circumstances into my decisions, because I couldn't bear the thought of coming home and find that they had declined while I was at work and where suffering. Also, with his age and background, it would be kinder for him to go with the people who love him around
issiandarchie+68
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Re: Elderly cat dilemma

Post by issiandarchie+68 »

Rockstar wrote: Sat May 08, 2021 6:38 pm Rocky is 18 years old, born in a flower pot to a feral mother. He has lived as an outside cat, in a hot country,occasionally indoors until 3 years ago when we moved to flat and he is now an indoors cat. He has been blind for many years. He eats and drinks but we now have to put his face to the food as he wanders around sniffing for it. He does not respond to his name or tapping anymore. He has become thinner but still has a glossy coat. He walks round and round in the same spot and afterwards we have to take him to the litter tray. He almost daily pees on the floor and sometimes use the tray. His breath is putrid and he drools which smells awful. He smells too. He has never allowed me to wash him but lately has allowed me to shower him without any fuss. He has a dry sore above his eye and one recurrent black sore on his upper ‘lip’. He has not been able to eat dry food for a long time but sometimes jumps away when eating soft fiod. Something hurts him. He still sits next to me and purrs. He sleeps most of the day. Our dilemma is that we will be away for three months due to family commitments. The Porter in our building says he will look after him downstairs in the grounds and he can sleep in a room. I am afraid he will be’lost’, literally and mentally coping with new surroundings and may escape the grounds. Also there are other cats that he doesn’t know and cannot see. We made the decision to put him to sleep but today when I put him in his carrier, he went in for the first time with no fuss. It made me cry and we did not take him. I really don’t want to put him through stress of all the new things but truly if I was not going away we would just continue making him comfortable. I hate to shorten his life but in this situation it is so difficult to make the decision. We feel we are taking his life. In this situation can anyone advise what would be best for him. He is sitting in my lap at the moment and I am almost in tears.
Sadly, taking into consideration Rocky's age and the symptoms you describe, I think his organs are failing, the drooling, bad breath and body odour, all being signs of failing kidneys. Loss of teeth is a symptom of old age, infection has set in, adding to the stinky drooling, poor Rocky's mouth must be so sore, the lethargy as you placed him in a carrier a sign he has 'given up'. I speak from sad experience. Forgive me if I sound unkind, but I think it would be cruel to leave a blind, ill cat (Rocky must be feeling very poorly)with a 'stranger' sleeping in an unfamiliar room, strange sounds, smells. It's so hard and having been in the same situation more than once, I know how heart breaking the decision will be, but I think it is time to let Rocky go peacefully and calmly, with you there comforting him and able to say goodbye.

Issi
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