I don't know what to do...

[cookie2016]

I feel like a terrible pet parent.

A little under a year ago I adopted a cat I thought was in good health. He had some teeth removed recently but other than that no issues that I could see or that the agency knew of... Less than a week after taking him home I noticed a red scab underneath his chin so I gave him a bath and cleaned his chin. Things have been getting progressively worse. I have taken him to multiple vets, he has been treated for ear infections multiple times and has received blood tests that came back fine. He occasionally has wheezing/labored breathing but none of the vets I bring him to notice it or think it is problematic. He meows and scratches and bites himself all of the time. He has dandruff as well. According to the vet, no signs of parasites either.

I have purchased so many products that are supposed to help but to no avail. He was put on a hydrolyzed protein diet last month and it seems to help a bit, he used to vomit frequently but not as much now. I put him on revolution plus too but he has a big patch of fur missing from where I applied it and was extremely upset when I tried to apply it so I am scared to continue using the product.

He used to live with other cats but he is the only cat here. I feel guilty and that he may be lonely/stressed. I hardly get sleep as I stress all night looking up every symptom he has (from what I have found online I presume it to be bad allergies, but he always seems worse off after a vet appointment so I am not sure if it is worth more visits to try and narrow it down). I am starting to resent adopting him which I hate to say. He has cost me hundreds of dollars and endless anxiety which makes it hard to focus on anything else. I adopted him to help with my anxiety but I feel like I am making him more anxious and I know my anxiety has gotten progressively worse since adopting him. I do not know if I should try rehoming him somewhere where he has other cats/someone around more often, but at the same time, I am very attached and want to take care of him. Unfortunately, my schedule is not the same daily and I think that just makes things worse for him. I would really appreciate any advice on the next steps to take.

[Kay]

I can only say what I would do in your situation, and unless things get worse, that is stop worrying about him

the vet visits must have ruled out anything seriously wrong with your boy

get him on a good quality food he likes and which seems to agree with him, groom him regularly, give him a salmon oil supplement for his coat, and then enjoy having him

truth is most cats have minor niggles from time to time - my cat for instance grooms constantly and has very little fur on the inside of her back legs, but it doesn't worry her so it doesn't worry me

[fjm]

It sounds as if it could be environmental allergies as well as food allergies - not life threatening but a nuisance. I would try cutting down on chemicals around the home - bicarb or vinegar work well for cleaning, wash his bedding in plain soap and air dry it, and generally avoiding aerosols, sprays or anything highly perfumed or that might hang around on surfaces he lies on. And then, as Kay says, try to relax and enjoy him. Cats pick up on our stress, and you can easily wind each other into a mutual emotional mess.

If that is impossible there is no shame in asking the rescue you got him from to take him back - it is quite possible he needs a different kind of home to the one you can provide. Many years ago I took on a little cat whose idea of heaven was to have someone home all day, and lots of visiting children. I was a single working woman often away from home... I have often thought how much happier her life would have been had I faced up to the mismatch and found her the retired grandmother she really needed.

One of my cats also has a bad reaction to topical parasite treatments - I avoid using them, and if there are signs of fleas use one of the oral or injectable treatments instead.

[cookie2016]

Thank you both, it is reassuring to know of other cat owners who are not alarmed.

I plan on keeping him for now, but I definitely think he needs more socialization than I am able to give. I try to play with him twice a day, but he often follows me meowing until I play again, and occasionally paws at my face at 3 AM, he's a very energetic cat. Luckily we have a big window in the living room he is able to look out of and a few old toys to play with when I am gone, but I may have to invest in new toys or a radio to keep him entertained and see if that helps. Every time I come home or leave I can see him watching me through the window and I always feel bad for him.

I am going to try to calm down, the breathing is what stresses me out the most as I know that can be a sign of many health issues, but given that I've had two vets look at his breathing and do not detect any issues I will try to forget about it unless it gets worse.

I do my best already to use natural cleaning supplies. He has a water fountain and bowl but continues to lick faucets, and there's also a lot of pollen where I live, so I think those things may be a contributor. I am going to be more aware of this now though.

I have not tried a salmon oil supplement, I will have to look into that, thank you for the suggestion. I have used some homeopet products as well as hot spot/flea/medicated shampoo treatments which have not been very successful (I know he does not have fleas, but I wanted to try any product that may help with the itching), but I may have to look more into what nutrients he is getting from his diet.

[Laujo]

My rescue cat is what I affectionately call a 'heavy breather'. It also worried me, but she has been check out by the vet and she plays with lots of energy so I have become less worried about it. I recommend trying some of the cat videos on youtube to keep your boy entertained. My Ivy sat and watched it with glee for two hours today, so maybe you could pop it on when you go out. There are 8 hour long videos!