Sneaky tom upsetting my cat

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Laujo
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Sneaky tom upsetting my cat

Post by Laujo »

I have had my Ivy with me for 11 weeks now and she has been gradually growing in confidence. I have kept her inside as she used to get bullied by local cats at her home before the shelter and was planning on just letting her take the lead in indicating she would like to go out. So far she is content looking at the birds from inside.

A couple of weeks after she arrived she saw a local tom cat in our back garden. This tom is super cocky, teases the dogs next door and has no fear. Ivy cried a lot and even after I chased him away from the garden she spent the next 6hrs anxiously going backwards and forwards to the door to check he had gone.

Up until today we had been lucky that the tom had only appeared when I was alone in the kitchen and armed with my water pistol he started to get the message that he wasn't welcome. However, tonight he appeared and Ivy started crying again and has been very clingy since.

My question is - what is the best way for me to respond when this happens? Should I just calmly talk to her and try and help her realise she is safe in the house or should I just continue to pop her in the lounge whilst I kindly encourage the little blighter to head home? I appreciate over time she may come to realise that home is safe, but I don't want to hinder that with my reactions.

Thanks in advance for any advice :)
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Mollycat
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Re: Sneaky tom upsetting my cat

Post by Mollycat »

It's a really good question and brilliant that you've identified the problem and asked before it becomes a big problem. That said, I'm really not sure about answers.

Is this cat the only one that has been spotted, or the only one Ivy gets upset about?

You can't spend your life at the window waiting for the cat to appear, and getting the message he isn't welcome unfortunately isn't going to be a long term solution either. Cats get into fight after fight with the same other cat because they know they are not welcome in the neighbour's territory but still keep going there, so a water pistol isn't going to stop him. I don't think anything is going to stop other cats using your garden if your own cat isn't there in person to tell them to go elsewhere. jn02222229i9 (sorry that's Molly's input as well as activating an x-box that I don't have!)

So I don't think you can remove the problem, and hiding the garden and cat from Ivy's view seems drastic and unfair, so what you want is to build up her confidence and help her understand she is safe and the cat can't reach her. You can't ever expect a cat to trust you above its own self preservation instincts, but you should with patience gain enough trust from Ivy to gradually help her to be aware without sending herself into a panic. If you leap up the instant you hear her cry or see the cat and rush to grab the water pistol and banish this horrible cat that upsets your household, your pulse is racing and your anxiety is high and Ivy is likely to get more upset over time. If you take the time to make this absolutely normal and nothing to worry about and take a few moments to look and talk to Ivy before casually getting up and only firing the thing if the other cats comes closer, you're keeping calm and normalising and helping Ivy to accept your protection, earning her trust, and building her confidence as well.

I wouldn't recommend distraction by food, affection or play, because that's denial rather than acceptance and dealing with it, it's unlikely to wash with a cat who already knows there is a threat out there and could make her much more anxious. I'm not shy, I talk to my cat constantly. The right tone and reassurance given when there really is nothing to worry about can really help. Just don't ever lie to a cat. My girl indoors in an upstairs flat hears people in the stairwell and at first this scared her. I always acknowledge the noise, oh what's that who's out there? and follow it up with it's ok you're safe they are outside and we're safe here, and I don't move at all. Despite being a very nervous cat she very quickly learned that she could trust my reaction, and that she was indeed safe in her home. But it's all voice, no stroking or distraction or treats.

Just out of interest, are you sure she is afraid? Because a scared cat might be more likely to hide in silence, whereas a crying cat running to check the door sounds much more in defence ready to fight and chase off mode.
Laujo
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Re: Sneaky tom upsetting my cat

Post by Laujo »

Thanks for such a thoughtful response.

I was going to say that this is the only cat that comes to the garden, but then just as I started typing a ginger tom who lives next door appeared. He is 15 and normally very chilled out. I think he just came over for a quiet loo break!

He kept his distance and stared at her through the door and she got very vocal again and up at the door. I just chatted to her and after a minute or too the yowling stopped and she just stared at him too. After about 5 mins he went back to his garden. So, I think you could be right about her being in fight mode rather than being scared. She left the door for a while and is no sat looking out, so I gave her a dental treat and have left her to it.

I would never stop her from looking out there as we live in a very small house and she loves sitting to watch the birds. I also promise that I don't stand there with my water gun at the ready :lol:
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