Sox - our saggy beautiful old cat-puss, has cancer

IMPORTANT: If your cat is in any distress or discomfort, please consult your own vet as your first priority.
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CherryCaz33
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Sox - our saggy beautiful old cat-puss, has cancer

Post by CherryCaz33 »

Hi everyone. New to the forum. Our 20yro cat sadly has cancer. He's a total legend in our neighbourhood and has accomplished many things, not only by getting to know just about everyone he meets and frequently attending BBQ's with no official invite, but also by rising to the top of the local feline heavyweight boxer ranks and being undefeated champion for many years. He is also a complete snuggle-puss and likes nothing more than head-scritches and all-time with his hooman pride. Sadly in his last years he has a tumour on his front right leg. Its grown awfully big and gas began to bleed clotty blood. He is on Loxicom for pain relief and is eating still but less and less each day. He is skin and bones. He still sleeps well and is getting up a d down stairs and using the cat flap - although with a bit of difficulty now. Has anyone been through this and can anyone offer any advice? I have a 14 yr old son who is his absolute soulmate and I am so worried how its going to affect him too. I just wanna do things right for him. He's a very independent cat who does not like to be interfered with. The vet has said we 're doing all we can. Am just not sure it's enough. Thank you x
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fjm
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Re: Sox - our saggy beautiful old cat-puss, has cancer

Post by fjm »

I am so sorry. I recently had to take 18 year old Pippin to be put to sleep when his lymphoma rapidly got worse. After weeks of trying to tempt him to eat and working hard to keep him comfortable one morning I knew the time had come - he did not want to be touched, he did not want to eat, or lie in the sun, or do any of the things he loved, and his eyes were both inward looking and far away, and I knew, quite suddenly, that he was ready to go.

I think it can help to talk to the vet in advance and plan, and to involve your son in the discussions. We want them to live healthy and happy forever, but if that is not possible despite everything we can do, we can at least make sure that the pain never becomes unbearable.
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Kay
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Re: Sox - our saggy beautiful old cat-puss, has cancer

Post by Kay »

the last two cats I had to say goodbye to were euthanized at home, which made it so much less traumatic for them and me

if your vet is willing and you can afford it, knowing how you will manage that final farewell can help in the time leading up to it - you can prepare a resting place for him, and get your son involved in choosing it

we are all different, but personally I have found facing up to the fact the time to part is coming more upsetting than the actual end
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Mollycat
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Re: Sox - our saggy beautiful old cat-puss, has cancer

Post by Mollycat »

Somehow no matter how long we have never seems enough when we have to face goodbyes.

I recently found a dead pet bird that had escaped, and managed to trace the owner and return the body. Owner didn't want the children to know the bird was dead so was at a loss as to how to dispose of the body respectfully without letting them know. I thought the children might be very young to understand, but they were of secondary school age. A little younger than your son.

It's important for children to learn not only to accept death as a normal part of life but also to learn to grieve, to experience all the confusion of emotions it brings, and to know that it's normal and it's ok. After all, grieving losses is something we keep doing our whole lives, and learning to deal with that with the full support of parents is a sound base to start this difficult process. Very bluntly and oversimply, losing pets is good practice for losing grandparents. Also be very careful with euphemisms as they can be misunderstood by small children. Gone to heaven begs the question when are they coming back and sleeping invites let's go wake him up - you get the idea, not so much at 14 but for younger ones this can be important.

Whether you would want your son to be there for the vet's visit is a little more delicate but it's important to say goodbye, to dispose of the body respectfully and with ritual or at least gentle words, and to be part of decisions on timing and understand why euthanasia, if that's the way you go, and keep discussion lines open. Remember it's not about any difficulties you may have around death if your parents didn't handle it very well for you, it's about giving the best possible experience and learning to the next generation. It is hard, of course it is, but as a qualified grief counsellor believe me it's a much better path to take than try and avoid, and the problems that leads to in later life.

Sox has obviously been around the whole of your son's life and given love and joy to the whole family. You have the choice to enable his last moments with you be a final great gift, to teach about dying and grieving.
CherryCaz33
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Re: Sox - our saggy beautiful old cat-puss, has cancer

Post by CherryCaz33 »

Thank you so much everyone for your reassuring, kind and helpful replies. I'll take it all on board and keep helping our beloved Sox. Much appreciated - bless you all x x x
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