Sad and Stressed and Overwhelmed
Posted: Tue Aug 03, 2021 8:48 pm
My 18-year-old cat died recently. This cat was the love of my life, you know? We adopted her when I was a child, and she's been with me ever since. I have a tattoo of her face. She was my absolute love and was always by my side. Losing her was beyond devastating, even though I know it was time to let her go.
After losing her, I was so sad and lonely (there are two other cats in the home, and I love them dearly, but her absence was weighing heavy on me) and ended up finding a kitten on petfinder. He was completely adorable and seemingly everything I'd want in a new companion, so I moved forward with the adoption.
Now, two weeks later, I am completely stressed out and overwhelmed. He's SO high energy (I'm not new to this, I have had kittens before and have worked with animals, but even for a kitten, he's got so much energy all the time), and he's high maintenance. He has a million toys, and he loves to play with someone or independently, so he's definitely not bored. He is really bad about people food, even if he's literally just eaten his own, to the point where he has to be shut out of the kitchen when we cook or he is a danger to himself (I am absolutely certain he's getting enough kitten food and he has been cleared by a vet--no parasites or health issues). He just seems like a cat that's going to need a lot of supervision.
I know that pets sometimes have to be returned to the rescue because they're not the right fit, but I've never experienced it before myself, and I am really wrestling with guilt as I try and decide what the best course of action here is. Because the problem ultimately lies with me. I decided to adopt another cat, I decided to go with a kitten, I decided to pick the first cute face instead of taking my time and finding the right animal. Beyond all his energy and behavior issues, the real problem is that I really don't think I'm ready for a new animal at all--I was just sad. I moved too quickly. But now there's this little life who's my responsibility and who's going to have to live with the consequences of my actions. He's so sweet and innocent--he's a bit of a challenge, but he really is such a good cat, and he didn't do anything wrong. I feel so beyond guilty for all of this, and I want so badly to do right by him. I want him to have the best life he can have, and I'm just not sure I can provide that for him right now. I'm constantly in tears, and I just feel like a monster.
I know no one can tell me what to do here, but am I a terrible person for considering bringing him back to the rescue when he's done nothing wrong?
After losing her, I was so sad and lonely (there are two other cats in the home, and I love them dearly, but her absence was weighing heavy on me) and ended up finding a kitten on petfinder. He was completely adorable and seemingly everything I'd want in a new companion, so I moved forward with the adoption.
Now, two weeks later, I am completely stressed out and overwhelmed. He's SO high energy (I'm not new to this, I have had kittens before and have worked with animals, but even for a kitten, he's got so much energy all the time), and he's high maintenance. He has a million toys, and he loves to play with someone or independently, so he's definitely not bored. He is really bad about people food, even if he's literally just eaten his own, to the point where he has to be shut out of the kitchen when we cook or he is a danger to himself (I am absolutely certain he's getting enough kitten food and he has been cleared by a vet--no parasites or health issues). He just seems like a cat that's going to need a lot of supervision.
I know that pets sometimes have to be returned to the rescue because they're not the right fit, but I've never experienced it before myself, and I am really wrestling with guilt as I try and decide what the best course of action here is. Because the problem ultimately lies with me. I decided to adopt another cat, I decided to go with a kitten, I decided to pick the first cute face instead of taking my time and finding the right animal. Beyond all his energy and behavior issues, the real problem is that I really don't think I'm ready for a new animal at all--I was just sad. I moved too quickly. But now there's this little life who's my responsibility and who's going to have to live with the consequences of my actions. He's so sweet and innocent--he's a bit of a challenge, but he really is such a good cat, and he didn't do anything wrong. I feel so beyond guilty for all of this, and I want so badly to do right by him. I want him to have the best life he can have, and I'm just not sure I can provide that for him right now. I'm constantly in tears, and I just feel like a monster.
I know no one can tell me what to do here, but am I a terrible person for considering bringing him back to the rescue when he's done nothing wrong?