Another resident cat and kitty question!

[mzhpqd]

Hey everyone, sorry didn't know this post would get so long!

I've read sooo many forums on this but still worrying about my babies so any advice would be awesome.

Situation: we have a 3 year old resident ragdoll male called Rolo. 1 month ago we bought home a ragdoll girl called Coco who is now 4 months old. I did a gradual introduction following the advice of others, separate rooms, separate food bowls, eating at the same time, lots of treats, lots of love to both babies, feliway and now they have free reign together.

Rolo wasn't very interested in her at the start. Obviously Coco is a bundle of excitement and runs around like a mad hatter. She is infatuated with Rolo and always wants to play with him and be near him. I try to distract her by playing to give Rolo peace. Sometimes they get on and Rolo doesn't seem bothered by her but then Coco will pounce on Rolo and he'll hiss, growl and swat. But then he'll walk away and be normal again. Rolo goes outside a lot and he's going out even more now and I'm worried sick he's going to run away. He doesn't play with toys so that doesn't work as he prefers to hunt for real! Although he does seem to be playing a bit with Coco now, sometimes there's no noise so I think it's playing but then Rolo will get annoyed quickly and tell her off.

I'm just struggling to understand how he's feeling as one minute he's ok then the next he's getting angry at Coco?! He'll groom himself in front of her and doze off with her near so I don't think he's threatened by her. I think he's trying to assert dominance but she's not getting it!

Any ideas anyone about Rolo's behaviour, that he's ok one minute then he's not and keeps buggering off outside? He's not really an affectionate cat and very independent and he seems grumpy a lot but that's quite normal for him. Will he get used to Coco and stop getting angry at her?

Thanks guys in advance! Emma

[Mollycat]

Firstly, he isn't trying to assert dominance - that's not how cat society works. If he's batting her and hissing at her, he's telling her to back off because he wants his space, that's all. As for understanding how he's feeling, one moment he feels like this, the next he feels like that - he has moods and emotions and he expresses them. One moment he's relaxed and tolerant, the next he's irritated and wants to be left in peace.

It's difficult to gauge whether maybe you might have rushed the introductions or whether this is their normal. It's not a very big age gap and I would expect a 3 year old to still be madly playful, but if that's his character there's no reason why he would be more playful with a friend than he is with toys. I got my ragdoll at 8 years old and had to teach him to play, and he was bonkers playful for years, but then again he didn't have anything to hunt outside. But even logos on letterheads fired his imagination and he would bat and try to lift them off the paper. The idea of the step by step introductions is to have them completely comfortable at each step before moving on to the next step, and go back a step if they aren't settling. On the other hand a youngster is bound to have more playful energy and sometimes get on a older quieter cat's nerves. Perhaps separating them for an hour or two when she annoys him to give him a break might help him relax a bit more without having to go out to get away from her.

[mzhpqd]

Hi Molly,

Thanks for your reply

So I started keeping the cats mostly separate and this seemed to help for a bit. However now Rolo now barely even sleeps at home now, he mainly just comes in to eat and goes out again. Sometimes when he comes home he's just constantly growling at her and in a really bad mood. Other times he doesn't seem that bothered by Coco and will even play with her for a few minutes.

I have got 2 feliway diffusers now, give them lots of treats, lots of love, and they only have supervised access.

Not sure what is going on with Rolo.. I don't want him to feel like he's being pushed out