Cat won't let us sleep

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BWSKITTIES
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Cat won't let us sleep

Post by BWSKITTIES »

Hello! Looking for advice with tried successful experience advice. We have tried several things but still looking for something that will eventually work!

Our cat Waffles was found abandoned at only about 2 weeks old. He was our first bottle baby. He bonded with my boyfriend Wayne like I've never seen an animal bond with a person before!

Here is the problem we need to fix.... Waffles comes into our bed every night somewhere between 3am–5am and pats on Waynes face, head, arm, chest, or nibbles at him to get him to get up. Wayne will get up and go add food to his bowl and then come back to bed. Most of the time, Waffles will be back at him within a few minutes. So Wayne will get up again to go out and lay down on the sofa in the living room. Waffles will sit with him for a minutes and then he goes and does whatever and leaves Wayne alone.

What can we do to alter this behavior so Waffles doesn't wake Wayne up every night? He needs to be able to get a good night sleep in the bed, not out on the sofa. He has tried ignoring Waffles, turning away from him, pulling covers up over his head.... but Waffles is relentless and will not let him sleep until he goes out to the sofa. We have tried closing the bedroom door but Waffles stands out there and scratches the door and cries, and he doesn't stop.

This has been going on for quite a long time. Wayne thought it was cute at first but never imagined it would become an every night event. Waffles doesn't bother me at all! If you have been successful in ending this type of behavior or understand cat behavior, I would appreciate your insight. Thanks!!!
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susand
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Re: Cat won't let us sleep

Post by susand »

Ideally, Wayne should have ignored Waffles from the get go and Waffles may have eventually learned that his behaviour wasn't going to get him anywhere. Unfortunately, Wayne has provided 'positive reinforcement' (ie rewarded Waffles) by giving in to his demands and feeding him, so Waffles now thinks that if he persists for long enough, he'll get what he wants and it might be difficult for him to get the message now that Wayne will not eventually give in if he just keeps on long enough.

It is understandable what Wayne did, I have been in the same situation - and done the same thing.

To break the habit, there now needs to be a change in routine for a while. I'd say at least 3 months off the top of my head but don't quote me on that.

I agree that locking him out of the bedroom by shutting the bedroom door isn't going to help because he will spend ALL night scratching at it and howling which is going to drive you crazy but I would suggest that you lock him in somewhere distant from the bedroom so you don't hear him and he doesn't hear, smell or sense where you are.

I don't know the layout of your living space. If you are in a house, that is great because you can shut him in a room downstairs. If it is a flat you are in, choose a room/space that is well away from the bedroom door and keep the bedroom door closed so he is less aware of your proximity. You could make or buy a large cage for him, eg a dog cage, if you really don't have another room to shut him into other than a room directly off the bedroom. Just make sure it has a litter tray and water in there for him as well as his bed/blanket, toys or whatever. You can put a sheet over the top so he can't see the bedroom door if necessary.

He'll be quite distressed at first, as it is all new but don't worry, he'll settle down once it becomes a routine and may even go in to his 'sleeping quarters' volunarily at bed time eventually. They love routine. At present he loves the routine of hassling Wayne and getting him to get up for him. You just need to change his routine into something different.

You can try allowing him into the bedroom again eventually by leaving your door and the door of his sleeping quarters open and see what happens but I wouldn't do that for a while as he needs to break his habit and that will take a long time especially as his bad behaviour has been rewarded with food. He'll possibly remember that bit forever, in which case he may always pester you at night, but hopefully he'll eventually forget.
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susand
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Re: Cat won't let us sleep

Post by susand »

PS If he cries when locked in his sleeping quarters, ignore him. Don’t provide positive reinforcement by getting up to comfort him as that will encourage that behaviour. He will settle, don’t worry.
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Mollycat
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Re: Cat won't let us sleep

Post by Mollycat »

Absolutely agree, as you probably realise, Wayne has created this problem and it's going to be hard to put that into reverse, but it is possible with some gritty determination and a little bit of Think Cat.

Cats are crepuscular creatures, most active at dusk and dawn. 3-5 in the morning is a great time to hunt and eat, so the cute early start of this ritual is deep rooted in the hard wiring of Waffles' brain handed down from millions of generations before him. Then, cats are resourceful and intelligent, and they will try lots of ways to get what they want until they find one that works. This means that nothing must work to get Wayne to get out of bed and give any form of rewards, food, attention, or anything else. If you don't want to start shutting Waffles out of the room, you're both going to have to play dead come hell or high water (and it will) and some very sleepless early mornings for a couple of weeks, it shouldn't take much longer than that.

It is really really critical not to give in once the decision is made not to give in, because just like small children, if you say no and mean it they learn very quickly. But if it's no no no no no no no no and then oh to hell with it yes just for a quiet life, then you are teaching that persistence pays and you will never have a quiet life ever again.

Play dead. Do not move, do not open eyes, do not stroke or acknowledge, do not huff or sigh, just lie still with and breathe. The potential problem you face is if Waffles keeps going until it actually is time to get up, then he risks thinking he was the one who made you both get up, so might be best to start this at the weekend, or when you have some time off work. It's not a sacrifice it's an investment for many years of peaceful sleep to come. You can reward Waffles with a little affection if he settles down to sleep with you, if you want him to do that instead of making Wayne get up.
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