Helping resident cat and new kitten find middle ground

[spotthezebra]

I have a 4.5 year old, female maine coon/tortie mix who is super chill. My partner just rescued a female tabby kitten (maybe part bengal, several generations down), and she is very high energy and playful. They're used to each other for the most part, but just have differences in how they want to connect. The maine coon, being super chill, will groom the kitten if I hold the kitten near her (only way to keep her still for it). Sometimes she will try to groom the kitten when I'm not holding her, but the kitten is super playful and will try to hit her in the face, and then roll over in what could maybe be a playful way or could be a ready for grooming way. The maine coon is sometimes playful with the kitten but not super often, and usually ignores the kitten's attempts to play, and occasionally hisses as a warning when she's really not in the mood for it.

The maine coon is my first cat, and now the tabby is my second. I know cats move slowly for these things, but I really have no experience. I just see these two cats who just want to connect in different ways, and it's frustrating as the human watching. Is there anything I can do to help them find a middle ground? I know I'm being impatient, but am I also being unrealistic?

[Mollycat]

Relax, it sounds like they are doing just fine. Your adult cat has mostly accepted the kitten if she is grooming her, and they have to work it out together and that will involve a little hissing occasionally to say back off, and swipes both ways when the adult cuffs the kitten and the kitten tries to play and then as she gets older gets to push some boundaries.

If there is no growling, hiding, yowling, and fur flying, no blocking or resource guarding or the more subtle signs of trouble, what you describe sounds really good.