Aggression between only two of my cats

[Erised2022]

Hello. I just found this forum, and I am really hoping you will have some suggestions for me. My husband and I had 5 cats that were all getting along fairly well, all spayed or neutered. The oldest gets grumpy sometimes when the younger ones want to play with him, but no real problems after the first couple of weeks. Around Christmas time, we introduced two new cats to the mix, for a total of 7. Our friends got evicted, and had to find homes for all of their cats on short notice, so we took the two that seemed the most social. As far as we know, based on what our friends told us, the full grown male cat has been neutered and the female kitten has been spayed. The first week was rough, as none of the existing cats were happy to see newcomers, but it has mostly settled down. The younger of the new ones, still a kitten, now gets along great with all of the others.
The older one, however has become a problem. He gets along with most of the other cats, although the oldest one still only tolerates him, but he picks on one of our cats all the time. She is full grown, and spayed, but she never got very large, so he outweighs her quite a bit. He is always chasing and attacking her, and she has taken to hiding in a cupboard in our bathroom. She will come out for love and attention if we are in the bathroom, and sometimes to use the litter boxes, but otherwise she stays there. We have put food and water in there for her so that she does not have to venture out for that, and are trying to figure out if we can find room for a litter box for her, but we would like to find a way to fix the problem so she can go back to enjoying the whole house. I just don't understand this behavior, as she is the sweetest kitty I have ever had, and he is not aggressive in any way towards the two kittens, both female, or to the older male cats.
I don't want to have to give up either cat, as we are attached to both of them. Also, we live in the middle of nowhere and the only shelter around is not a no kill shelter, so I would not feel comfortable surrendering a kitty to them. I would be grateful for any suggestions you might have to resolve this. I know Little Girl (the one hiding in the bathroom) can't be happy with the situation, though she does purr and cuddle whenever I am in the room with her. Please, reply here or message me if you have any ideas that might help.

[susand]

Well, this is just my opinion but your girl cat was there first and by the sound of it I don’t think this chap is ever going to play nicely with her and her life sounds very miserable. I wouldn’t want to have my home invaded by someone so big and aggressive that I had to hide in a cupboard all day either. I had to make the very difficult decision to rehome an absolutely beautiful cat about a year and a half ago because she was attacking my old boy and making his life hell. I got her because I was told she was fine with other cats. This may have been the case for some cats but she certainly didn’t like poor Walter. It was difficult. I cried all the way to the rescue centre but I had to do right by Walter. And her really, because neither cat was ever going to be happy sharing a house together. I understand the reluctance to take him to a shelter that may euthanise but ask around and try and find another home for him.

[Erised2022]

I appreciate the suggestion, and if I can't find any other way to fix this then I will definitely start looking for another home for him. I am just hoping to find a way for them to get along. I know her hiding in the bathroom is not going to work long term, and is not at all fair to her. If one of them has to go, it will definitely be Panther as he is the one causing the problem.

[Erised2022]

Thank you again for your advice. I wanted to give you all an update about Little Girl. I carried her out of the bathroom and closed the door while making sure Panther was in another room and could not get to her, but she was afraid of the other kitties too, which she never was before. She hid on top of the furnace for a bit, and then retreated into my study, which has always been her favorite room. For now, I have decided to make that room her sanctuary, since she seems comfortable here. She now has her own litter box, food, and water in here, and the door will remain closed at all times.

After she has had some time to calm down, and after we have used the spray we just ordered which is supposed to relax cats and reduce aggression, we will slowly start reintroducing her to the other cats, starting with the ones she got along with best before. I am hoping that we will eventually be able to start leaving the door open so she can fully reintegrate with the others, but for now she seems to feel safest when she is isolated.

[macka]

I really feel for you.. cats not getting along can cause a really huge headache some times.

Have you looked into any resources by Jackson Galaxy? There are a lot of books on this topic as well (multiple cat households, how to reduce tension, and all that etc) but if you cannot get a hold of books for now, he has a youtube channel with several videos on these topics and how to solve them.

Usually there is always a reason, something, going on in the cat's head that they don't like it, and then they outwardly show it through aggression or other destructive behaviors. If you'd like, I can look up links for you and link them here later.

[Erised2022]

Thank you very much for your suggestions. I posted this on several forums, and have gotten a lot of great advice. I did watch several of the videos you mentioned. I wanted to give you a quick update on the situation. A week ago, I carried her out of the bathroom and closed the door while I had the bully locked away in another room. She seemed scared of all of our other kitties too, when she never was before, so I have set up my study as a sanctuary for her. The door stays closed at all times, and she has her own food, water, and litter box. She has high places to perch, lots of stuff to play with, and a window if she wants to look outside. She also has me in there with her all day when I am working.
It has been a week, and she is almost back to her old self, although she still shies away from the door when the other kitties get close and try to get in. I have ordered some calming spray that I am hoping to use for all of the kitties to relax them. In the meantime, I am going to give her a little more time, and then slowly start to try to reintroduce her to the other kitties, starting with the calmest of them.

[macka]

No problem! I'm glad you are getting great advice
It's a really nice feeling when the community rallies behind you and offers help!

I'm glad to hear that she is doing better since you implemented some changes. It does sound like she does need a bit more time indeed, and introducing her again to other cats, starting with the most calmest one is a really good plan.

I applaud you!! I really hope she improves within the next month or two.

[Erised2022]

Thank you. I thought I would post some pics so you can see who we have been talking about.

I have attached a couple of pics of her on my desk while I am working.

[macka]

Awww what a baby!! She is so cute <3
I love when cats do that and settle down next to their owners <3 <3

[Erised2022]

Hello again. I am writing with another update and a request for ideas. When I first moved Little Girl into the study, she limped a little bit but then it seemed to get better. A few days ago, I noticed a wound on her leg, but it looked like it was healing well. Yesterday, she stopped putting any weight on that leg, and today I can see that it is infected. I need to get her to a vet, but I just paid rent and I can't find one that will make payment arrangements. Unfortunately, my credit is bad right now, so I can't get Care Credit. I was wondering if any of you know of any organizations that might be able to assist so I can get her seen right away. I don't get paid until the 8th, and I can't make her wait that long. I am trying to get a payday loan for the money to take her to the vet, but no luck so far. I have emailed and left a voicemail for the nearest humane society clinic, which is 2 hours drive away and does not take walk-ins, but have not heard back from them yet. She is still eating, drinking, using the litter box, and snuggling with me, but she is clearly in pain and I don't know what to do for her until I can find the money.

[Erised2022]

Hi, everybody. I just wanted to update you. Sorry it has been so long, but it has been a very hectic couple of weeks. The good news is, her wound is almost completely healed and she is still doing very well in her private room. The bad news is that I have not been able to reintroduce her to most of the other cats yet. One of them, the most laid back, was able to visit with her for a bit and they just sniffed each other and then relaxed. We tried one of the kittens next, and it did not go well. The bully is still being a bully. He managed to sneak his way into the room once, and went straight to her to attack her. We stopped him and got him away from her immediately. He has also started picking on the others since he can't get to her any more, so we are considering trying to find him a home where he will be the only cat. I think he will be much happier that way, and our other cats will be happier without him stressing them out.