Teenage cats

[TortieSass]

Hello! Cat loved new to the site. My cat is 11 months old and we got her at around 12 weeks. For the first 2 months she was so affectionate and would sleep with/on is, seek us out when watching films, want to be carried around. We never forced anything on her; just her nature. When we got her, we decided to take the first cat who showed interest in us ans she came up and sat on me, kneading my legs. She is still extremely friendly and follows us lots and is always in the same room as us. She often sleeps in her window beds around the house as well as sprawled out on floors on her back. She would never hurt anyone and is extremely tolerant- has never hissed or attempted to bite or scratch. She loves playing with us too. However, very gradually she became less obviously affectionate in that she no longer wants to sit or lie on us (except whilst on the toilet or asleep at night). This has been gradual over the last 6 months. She is still very happy and pads around with her tail held high and often trilling when excited. She also still follows us and rubs out legs and curls her tail around us. Everything seems perfect healthwise. We are wondering if she is in her adolescent phase? Will she eventually go back to being affectionate? We obviously love her very much and she is happy but would love a chilled night in front of a series with her again. I have started trying to feed her treats from my lap to build positive association. We also have 2-3 play times a day where she loves playing fetch. Tried catnip but pretty intolerant to it. Any thoughts?

[fjm]

It does sound like adolescent independence. I found mine snuggled as kittens, became less keen on it as life became more exciting, and then rediscovered the comfort of laps as they got a bit older, especially when the weather turned chilly. Does she enjoy being groomed? That may be another way to encourage her onto your lap - short sessions, though, as many cats enjoy a little brushing and petting but dislike too much.

[Mollycat]

Has she been spayed? There's a lot going on, she is growing up, perhaps had a season, whether she has been spayed, and so on. If she has not been spayed but will be, you may find she goes back to being a cuddle bug, but on the other hand she may want to go out all the time. I would say more than anything she is growing up, but she is still growing up and everything could change again.

[TortieSass]

Thanks for the replies. I guess I just feel worried sometimes that I have done something wrong but I know we can’t do anything more for her as we always try to be the best companions and owners possible at the same time as respecting her. I just find it frustrating when some people make absolutely no effort with their cats but their cats seem to want to be cuddled and spend lovely evenings with them. I tell myself cats dhow affection in different ways and she is always around us and happy. She does like being groomed and stroked but only really in passing or for short periods when she is lying by us or in her bed. She has been spayed yes but she didn’t go to being more cuddly again after. That was end of January. We also have had a baby 3 months ago so that’s a lot going on too bit she seems to have adapted well to that. I guess there are all these videos everywhere of these amazingly affectionate cats and from her behaviour for the first few months, I presumed she’d be like one of those. I guess only time will tell and We should just have patience, interact with her when she seeks it and continue playing lots to keep up the bond. In your experience do most cats who are very affectionate kittens return to being cuddle after a few years? She is very curious and always busy doing something!! This is my first cat so everything is new!

[Mollycat]

Ah I see, well the arrival of the baby might make some difference. It's been a very long time since I last had a kitten, and I've never really worried about whether a cat is cuddly or less so, so I can't really comment. But my current Molly prefers to lie next to me more than to be fussed and cuddled and I suppose I just take that as her personality. Usually they get a bit cuddlier with age but there's never any guarantees.

I've got such a soft spot for Naughty Torties!

[TortieSass]

Haha! Yeah I’ve been told she is very chilled for a tortie but she does get up to mischief and is our little shadow “What’s going on?” Haha. She is gorgeous though and so beautiful and gentle!