New kitten or kittens with existing nervous cat

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catlover1983
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New kitten or kittens with existing nervous cat

Post by catlover1983 »

Hi, I posted a few months ago when our beloved cuddly boy cat died of cancer, leaving our girl cat (11) who we think might have been his sister (they came from a rescue shelter and 20+ kittens had been dumped together so hard to tell!).

Surviving girl cat adored her brother and although loving a fuss, isn’t as keen on human company, hides upstairs all day and won’t let the kids near her (she’s always been like this, I don’t know if it’s due to her start in life).

We would like to get a kitten who will hopefully be good with children as they (and us) are missing our super friendly boy cat, but don’t want to upset girl cat!

She is very interested in cats on tv and miaowed back at a cat in the vets the other week, plus she preferred her brother’s company to being with us, which makes me hopeful she would accept a kitten. What concerns me is she is very nervous.

I’m wondering if she would be better with one kitten or two?

I was thinking with one she would hopefully not feel overwhelmed and it would be less stressful for her, but then would she feel a playful kitten is too much? This led me to wondering about two kittens as then they would hopefully play with each other, but then also would she feel outnumbered with two? It’s so hard to know!

I’m just wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation and what worked/didn’t work?
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Mollycat
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Re: New kitten or kittens with existing nervous cat

Post by Mollycat »

Tricky!

I adopted an 8 year old retired stud cat and he desperately needed a friend, so I found my 6 year old moggy girl. He was very gentle, she was extremely shy, sounds like yours. 3 years ago we lost Boo, when Molly was 12. We also have a dog, which Molly is ok with but not friendly with. We talked about what to do. But this is without the complication of children missing a cuddlebug.

Molly is usually only left for a few hours some days with the dog, completely alone daily while the dog has his walks, never more than a long day as I get a family member to stay with her if we're gone overnight. From her point of view, company would be nice but only the right character, and is not needed. But when she was 6 she really wanted someone to play rough with, and Boo wanted someone to cuddle with, and although they did play chase (a lot) and had a close enough relationship, neither was ever able to fill the role the other really wanted.

How would she respond to a kitten or two? No idea, not my cat any more than yours. All I can tell you is that cats are unpredictable, and more adaptable than we give them credit for if handled right. On the other hand a traumatised cat can go either way, full on nervous wreck, or come out of her shell. Some time alone gives her a chance to find herself a new place in the family - no other outgoing confident cat to hide behind. Hopefully something in there might help you!
catlover1983
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Joined: Tue Jun 07, 2022 7:27 pm

Re: New kitten or kittens with existing nervous cat

Post by catlover1983 »

Thank you for your reply! Definitely helpful to hear someone else’s experience!

She took the death of her brother really hard, but the stressed behaviours she exhibited when he died seem to have stopped for a good 4-6 weeks now. Everyone told us she might come out of her shell more, but she hasn’t apart from learning how to miaow! (We always joked she had a silent miaow and I think she had to learn as she needed to tell us when she wanted feeding /the tap turning on etc when he wasn’t there!)

She absolutely loves her fuss and will follow me around for it, but wont sit on my knee or anything. During the day you wouldn’t know we had a cat. One of the kids mentioned the other day he’d forgotten we still had her as she stays away from everyone during the day (and has always done this).

Her brother used to intermittently beat her up, but she would always come back for more and she was at her absolutely happiest when they were curled up together grooming each other. I was thinking she would probably take to another boy better, but I don’t want her to be more stressed!
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