One cat bullies the other while we are not looking

[seeker125]

Hi,
We have two cats (brother and sister). When we are present the brother acts very passive towards his sister, but she seems mortally afraid of him (hissing at him, avoiding at all costs etc). However we have noticed that when we are not around the brother chases and attacks his sister - we see him chasing her out the window, and I sometimes come downstairs to him looking innocent but her huddled under some low furniture defending herself.

So my question is: is this normal? Why do they fight only when we are not around? And how can we stop this (the bullied one is getting thin and doesn't want to be in the house anymore).

Edit: They are both fixed

Thanks

[bobbys girl]

Hi, sorry to hear you are having problems and your little girl is being bullied by her brother.

I'm not sure I can help but a few questions might help others to help you. How old are the cats? Have you had them long? Have they always been this way or has something happened to change their behaviour?

A little more detail might help folks here to help you - I hope so!

[seeker125]

Heya, thanks for the reply! They are both 13 and we have had them since birth, when they were kittens they got on quite well, but they have gradually got worse with each other. It's never been this bad before, and nothing has really changed to trigger it.

The male one I guess is the alpha cat, should we start chucking him out and keeping the girl in? What about those plug in things that are meant to calm cats down - would those work in this situation?

[Lallum]

I have the same problem. My cats are also brother and sister and he is dominant. She is not allowed on the sofa and he gets very bad tempered if I show her any attention. They have had some mega fights. I tried Feliway (or whatever it's called) but it had no effect. I try to keep them out of the house at different times and feed them separately as he steals her food and she just lets him. It isn't good and it wasn't always like this. They've recently had a skirmish about who sleeps on my bed. The vet said that both want to be in a household where they are 'only' cats. It's a bit late as they have lived with me for seven years. All I can suggest is watching out for her and buying a water pistol!

[Crewella]

A Feliway plug-in can help in some circumstances - it might help your girl feel more secure, so it's worth a shot. Make sure she has plenty of hidey holes or raised areas that she can use to get away from him, and try to watch them to see if you can work out any particular 'flash points' or areas where the trouble seems to start. Do you try to separate them at all, or feed separately?