Help! Noisy kitten problem!!

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Ruthycpr

Help! Noisy kitten problem!!

Post by Ruthycpr »

Please can anyone help!!

We have had out 3.5 month old Siberian for just over 2 weeks.

He's very naughty at times and very loving, typical kitten but we are having 1 big issue I don't know how to solve!

If we go out of a room and leave him, he cries, so if we go into office for example. Now most of the time this is fine and he settles or becomes occupied but it's becoming an issue in the mornings. If he hears us upstairs, he wails and cries and screams until we come down. Problem is we're in a semi and he does same if he gears neighbours. Neighbours have already to us they can hear him through the walls. We don't want him upstairs with us as my husband is slightly allergic to cats which is why we went for this breed. He's been ok with kitten but still want a car free place. Also want bedroom to be ours anyway. So between where we are and him is the hallway so it's not like he's outside our door and we can water spray him etc.

We've tried hard to ensure we don't go down while he's crying so only respond to silence and when he meows for attention we ignore him then too and give cuddles when he's quiet. I have tried feliway. I don't think he's missing mum, I think it's attention seeking.

He's not been neutered yet and he's already huge, scheduled for neutering just after he's 4 months.

I can't think what to do as if he becomes a pest to our neighbours not sure we could keep him and this is 1 behaviour I just don't know how we can solve.

He's not been allowed out yet but wonder if we did if it could make it worse.

Any advice at all on how we can solve this problem?
Ruthycpr

Re: Help! Noisy kitten problem!!

Post by Ruthycpr »

Btw it's not food either as we have an automatic feeder so he doesnt associate us with needing to be fed
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Lyn from Australia
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Re: Help! Noisy kitten problem!!

Post by Lyn from Australia »

If it were me in the same situation, which obviously isn't yours, I would let him into my work area - perhaps keep the bedroom cat-free - but I certainly wouldn't keep him from me if I were in the house during the day. I would get a second cat or kitten. I would also make sure that he has lots of toys and more importantly, places to climb and be up high and be able to see out the windows.

You may find he quietens down once he has been neutered - I find it strange that you've been able to purchase a pedigree kitten that hasn't been neutered before it's left the breeder - both males and females can be neutered at 6 - 8 weeks of age without issues, although some vets haven't caught up with the times.

What is his name? I'd love to see a picture.

Keep in touch.
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sarie
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Re: Help! Noisy kitten problem!!

Post by sarie »

It sounds to me like he's lonely and suffering from separation anxiety to be honest.. I think he'd benefit from you taking on a second kitten if it's something you're able to consider.
I know that probably isn't what you want to hear if you're trying to limit your husband's exposure to cats but the allergy situation isn't really the fault of the kitten and it sounds like he's finding it hard being left alone for long periods of time at night. At his age he will have been around other cats and kittens for the majority of his life so it's a huge shock for him to arrive in a strange environment and be left alone without any companionship. A second kitten would keep him company and would make it easier for you to leave him alone without any worries when you go to bed. It certainly sounds like he's attention seeking, but that's only because he's lonely. Some cats/kittens adapt very well to being the only cat and many prefer it that way, but there are some who just don't like to be alone and thrive on the companionship of other cats and people. My cat Clive is like that and try as I might I couldn't get him to adapt to being an only cat - he cried and cried and when he was left alone he was miserable and in the end I caved and got him a companion. At the time it seemed like taking on a second cat would make life more complicated but in fact the two of them spent so much time together it took a huge burden off me as I wasn't having to worry about entertaining Clive so much and I didn't have to feel guilty when I left him alone. Clive's crying went away instantly when he had a companion and he's been a much happier cat since!

You could try giving him a warm bed (use a heat pad or a hot water bottle under his bedding) and give him a large teddybear and perhaps leave a radio on for him at a very low volume during the night to give him some comfort. Lyn's suggestions of toys and places to climb to keep him occupied are very good ones too. Cats are more active at night and this is when he's likely to really be realising he's on his own and by the time it gets to morning he's likely exhausted all the interesting things he has to do and has realised he's alone. He may get used to the situation in time and adapt and once he's neutered things may improve so if you're really stuck for getting another cat then you could persevere and see how he is after he's been neutered. He's only been with you 2 weeks and it sounds like you're doing everything right to try not to encourage his crying so if you can cope with it a little longer you may find he adapts but if it continues for many more weeks then you may really have to consider some company for him. He'd probably be OK if he could get more access to you to replace the lack of a companion but as your circumstances mean he has to have time away from you it may be that he simply can't cope without some other form of company.

I wouldn't recommend you water spray him (I know you said you can't anyway but in this situation you really mustn't). He's crying for behavioural reasons so it's a totally different thing to spraying to deter unwanted, mischievious behaviour. Crying like that is a sign that he needs something and punishing him for trying to tell you that he's in need wouldn't do him any good at all and would potentially lead to him developing other stress related conditions instead.

I do hope you manage to find a way to settle him, he sounds like a lovely, albeit clingy boy :) Pictures definitely required and do update us :)
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Re: Help! Noisy kitten problem!!

Post by greenkitty »

I think he's lonely, have you considered getting him a pal?
Ruthycpr

Re: Help! Noisy kitten problem!!

Post by Ruthycpr »

Thanks everyone for the considered feedback though i have to admit it's made me more uncertain what to do :-(

We cannot get another cat, my husband also has asthma which atm he's able to cope with but having 2 is just too much of a risk for us. He's coping ok with our little one (well very big one already!) but I think bringing another cat in to the mix would be too great a risk to his health, as I say atm we have no concerns but think it would be awful to bring another cat in to the mix and suddenly have issues to deal with.

He has lot's of toys, we've tried the radio, I built him a cat tree out of real trees (!) which he loves (took a day and i was very proud!) Lots of places to jump at height and the room he's in is very large with lots places to run round in etc. Comfy bed (we have heated floors so he has warmth under his bed anyway). Have put our clothes in his bed. Haven't sprayed him ever for crying, only to get off surfaces and out of the food cupboard at this stage. Some people have said put his bed outside the our bedroom but my husband is worried that may still be a problem for him and i worry if we tried that, then had to stop that, it may cause even more of an issue, also if he was to start crying outside our door that would cause even more problems for neighbours as atm it's the kitchen diner he's in so the sound in their bedroom would be muted to a degree and they can only really hear him in their kitchen diner, whereas with our adjoining bedrooms and a shared chimney sounds would be much louder between the bedrooms.

During the day we do let him in to the office us, and only lock him out if he's been excessively playful and we have to focus on work, if we do that we give him a 15min run around to tire him out before closing the door. When he's being quiet we let him sleep on our laps.

We have a bedtime routine so when we close the door at night he goes to sleep (well is quiet), it's just in the morning, problem is neighbors get up at 5-6am and so he starts crying then, and then we get up later, so he's basically crying 3-4 hours through the morning and even though the neighbours atm are saying they dont mind, I can imagine their patience may wear thin. We've just moved in to the house (we got kitten after so he hasn't had to put up with the move) so dont want to start getting a bad feeling between us.

From what everyone is saying, do you think we should consider asking the breeder to help him find another home where he can have more access to rooms of the house and a playmate? We've already fallen totally in love with him but I don't think we would cope if this will be an on-going thing long term if we can't solve it (esp due to neighbours already mentioning it), but also don't want him to have to try cope if he's going to be unhappy and we can't offer him what he needs to be happy.

He's so beautiful, and for a kitten very well behaved!

I feel really stressed about what to do that's going to be the right thing, everyone has been saying to me to get another cat but we just cant do that so as I say I worry we should help him find a home where he can have a playmate before he gets to old and settled with us as guessing the breeder would have a waiting list she could contact? BUt at same time, we love him and if he could quieten down without another cat then we'd want to keep him. I just cant think of what else to do as everything else mentioned we've tried (bar neutering of course)

I've attached a picture anyway!

Any more honest advice really appreciated x
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greenkitty
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Re: Help! Noisy kitten problem!!

Post by greenkitty »

He's beautiful :)

I can understand you wanting to keep him out of your bedroom but would you consider having a little bed for him by the side of your bed so he could be with you but not on the bed? It may not work, but might be worth a try...
Ruthycpr

Re: Help! Noisy kitten problem!!

Post by Ruthycpr »

We can't due to my husbands allergy (and asthma), he needs a cat free area otherwise it would be too much for him. He's impacted during the day a little but can obviously have some time away from him if he needs to but during the night he's worried it would build up too much and I don't think it's a safe idea with his asthma. If it was just me and kitty he'd be in my bed with me but i have to put my husbands health first of course.

I feel stupid / guilty for taking him on now considering my husbands allergy but he seemed ok when we did all the first meeting etc. and as I say isn't hugely impacted by kitty and we had lots of discussions about it but it's now impacting on what we can do to solve the crying problem :-( Grew up with cats and never came across this as all my cats growing up coped well on their own so wasn't expecting this.
Last edited by Ruthycpr on Wed Oct 08, 2014 10:56 am, edited 1 time in total.
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sarie
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Re: Help! Noisy kitten problem!!

Post by sarie »

Aw he's gorgeous Ruthy, I can only imagine how attached to him you are already. I'm sorry you're in such a tricky situation with your husbands allergies and asthma.

It sounds like you really are trying everything but he's just suffering from separation anxiety on a morning once he's aware there are people awake (your neighbours)!

All I can suggest is that you persevere a little longer and see how he is once he's neutered and has spent a little more time getting used to his environment. If you can bring forward his neutering at all then it may be worth doing. I'm not convinced that'll stop his crying but there's a chance it might. I'd perhaps speak to the breeder about the situation and see if they have any suggestions too and at least make them aware that there's a problem. I really hope you don't have to end up parting with him as it sounds like you love him and have given him a lovely home but it may end up being the case that your circumstances just don't work for him. I truly hope that isn't the case and you can settle him so he's happier and content in his own company.

I'm glad you've got a decent relationship with your neighbours; I'd keep the discussion with them open, keep them in the loop on how he's doing and perhaps introduce them to him so they can put a face to the crying as it may help them to remain patient while you try to overcome his problems.
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Lyn from Australia
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Re: Help! Noisy kitten problem!!

Post by Lyn from Australia »

What a magnificent cat, and congratulations on the tree, well done! He obviously loves you both and he's so very young - get his op over and done with asap and reassess his behaviour after a couple of months, then have a huge rethink about your options before jumping straight to rehoming him. I don't have asthma but I am allergic to cats and have 9 of the little darlings - the longer I have them and the more I have the less my allergy bothers me - to a certain extent you do become aclimatised.

Pusses name is?....or did I miss it somewhere.
Ruthycpr

Re: Help! Noisy kitten problem!!

Post by Ruthycpr »

He's called Tiger. Spoke to the vet just now and they don't think the op will help in either.

I'm emailing our breeder to see what she think will be best for little one :-/
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Re: Help! Noisy kitten problem!!

Post by Baggypants »

I can only agree with the others - he's little and lonely at night. He probably will settle down eventually but it might take a while. To be honest, I think I'd try not to worry about the neighbours too much - I can't imagine they can hear that much and if they say anything again tell them you're going to swap the little cat for a large (barky!) dog!!

Regarding your husband's health - have you ever tried an air-purifier? I got one earlier this year for my hayfever and it made a big difference to the air quality. I think there are other people on here who have tried them for cat allergy related problems.
Ruthycpr

Re: Help! Noisy kitten problem!!

Post by Ruthycpr »

To be honest we moved due to Neighbours From Hell so really wouldn't want to say that to our new neighbors. They are lovely and supportive as far as they can be as have cats of their own but i don't want Tiger to cause issue between us. The last neighbors made our lives a living hell so its been wonderful to have neighbors we think we could call friends.
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Re: Help! Noisy kitten problem!!

Post by greenkitty »

Could you put a timer on the radio so it comes on when he wakes up? Might be enough for him to think he's not alone...
Ruthycpr

Re: Help! Noisy kitten problem!!

Post by Ruthycpr »

Will give that a go tonight, we've tried just leaving the radio on, but not having it come on in the morning.

I also spoke to a rehoming charity about our options in the worst case scenario who've been really helpful (thank you if you read this!) so feeling happier that there could be a nice option for him if we can't get him settled with us so feeling much more positive and happier now that he's going to be ok whatever the outcome (though waiting to hear back on breeders preference anyway)

Also brought his neutering forward a week so we can see if that has any impact on his behaviour.

Thanks everyone today for speaking with me, been really stressed about everything and hasnt helped he's been curled up in my lap all day purring!! :-(
Ruthycpr

Re: Help! Noisy kitten problem!!

Post by Ruthycpr »

UPDATE Our breeder got back and said that we could maybe try giving him more separation during the day so he learns to be more independent and play alone so it's less of a shock to him at night when he's properly alone. We're going to give this a try over the coming weeks and see if this helps him calm down! IF not she'll have him back to rehome but we want to give this a proper go first :)
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Lyn from Australia
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Re: Help! Noisy kitten problem!!

Post by Lyn from Australia »

I am not a breeder, and I don't know Siberian cats, but I do know kittens and this strikes me as being VERY strange advice. Tiger is just a baby and is just behaving like most kittens on their own would - he's just been separated from his mum, brothers and sisters, and now it seems no-one wants him!!

You are going to ignore him during the day and then lock him out of your bedroom at night; so when exactly are you planning on owning a pet? For 4 hours per day between finishing work and going to bed?

Sorry to sound so critical, but I think you should give him back to the breeder now and don't put off the inevitable - I don't think there's any need to risk traumatising the little bloke any further, and perhaps even causing behavioural issues for his next family to have to cope with.

Much of the time dealing with behavioural issues in cats doesn't involve changing the cat, but changing the humans, their expectations, and the cat's environment. You are trying to change the cat and I don't believe that that will be successful to any significant degree.
Ruthycpr

Re: Help! Noisy kitten problem!!

Post by Ruthycpr »

That's very unfair, we've spent every day with him all day as we work from home and we are loving spending the day with him. But we cannot have him crying so loud that he causes problems for neighbours and us. I came on here to ask for advice on how we could stop him stressing at night and in the morning, I can't change that we can't have him upstairs and get another cat. If i came on here and said, help my husband is a allergic everyone would be telling me to keep him out of the bedroom etc. Instead of attacking me surely you could be saying, that doesn't sound great from the breeder etc. I've come on for advice, and I asked her too being the person that I got that cat from. I don't want to be doing that, we've had him with us so much but we cant have him with us overnight. To be perfectly honest most people would be out at work 8 til 8 most days and only have a few hours in the evening anyway, I've had him on my lap all day. If you're saying it's normal for him to be crying upset for hours before we get up then obviously i do need to change my expectation, but having grown up with cats (and have experienced 2 solo kittens who never had this issue) I'm pretty sure that's not normal. However I don't pretend to be an expert either, I thought it was a good idea to listen to the breeder who knows the breed, I don't need to be attacked for it. To be honest all you've done is be critical of the breeder but I can't think of anything she's done wrong, I thought it odd you suggested neutering so young! Also you're very lucky to have had your allergy reduce, but it's not me with the allergy, it's my husband, and I can't tell him what he can and can't do in terms of managing both his allergy and his asthma. I believe you said yourself earlier you only have an allergy and not the additional problem he has but again please don't judge, I have no right to make a judgement on him what he can and can't put up with. If I was single the cat would be snuggled up in my room and no doubt I wouldn't be having this issue, but here we are. I'm very shocked you've said to me "seems no one wants him" ... I've spent 14 hours with pretty much today! Yes I'm sure he will be traumatized by sitting on my lap for hours, being taken round the house while having a hug, played with with his (another) new toy, played with on his cat tree, played with in the amazon box, given some treats because he didn't try climb in the dishwasher for once, sat on the window sill looking at birds with me, hugely traumatic for him im sure!
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Lyn from Australia
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Re: Help! Noisy kitten problem!!

Post by Lyn from Australia »

Dear Ruth, I sincerely apologise for upsetting you so much (and I really do mean that - it was not my intention). In my defense, if there is one, I didn't get the impression that he was getting to spend so much of the day with you from what I was reading, just that you can't really have him in the work area during working hours nor in the bedroom at night.

I will say that cats are individuals and whilst we can generalise as we do with children, how they behave is normal for them and we need ways adapt our expectations, ourselves and the home environment to their needs, particularly for kittens. What the breeder has suggested is not dissimilar to what I think paediatricians call "crying therapy" and I can't speak for any one but myself when I say that I think it's downright cruel to let a child scream for hours until it's so tired from its distress and screaming that it falls asleep, and to do this every night (regardless of whether it's a gradual process or not).

Anyway, I will abstain from expressing any more opinions on your cat and again apologise.

It is now quite common practice for cats to be neutered very young, although there are vets that resist change, plus of course there are instances when it is not possible, for instance, if a male cat's testicles have not dropped into the scrotum. One of my females was spayed at the age of about 7 - 8 weeks during a "season" with absolutely no ill-effect - this was the vet's decision with my agreement. It is no longer felt to be harmful to perform this surgery as early as possible. I believe that it is the practice of registered breeders, at least here in Australia, is to neuter all kittens before they are sold, unless arrangements have been made to use the kitten for breeding purposes by another registered breeder, so I was surprised that you have been sold an unneutered male.

Anyway, I wish you luck with you handsome boy and hope that however it happens you are able to keep him and that everyone is happy with the outcome, especially Tiger.
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