How do I know when it's time.......

[JulieJulie]

Hello, I haven't been here for a while but this forum has been a lifeline to me in the past.

My elderly cat has stopped eating. She did this over the summer but eventually started again. She seems to have the signs of CRF - hovering over the water bowl, won't lie on her side. I have syringe fed her AD which she is not enjoying. She manages the energy to bring up a paw to push me away. She has always been a very determined pussy cat.

Over the summer they ran blood tests but couldnt find anything wrong. Vit B injection got her eating again.

It seems different though this time, she is so skinny and she doesn't seem herself any more.

Some people are telling me to just leave her to spend her last few days/weeks at home. Others tell me it's cruel to just let her waste away.

Today she sat in the rain in the garden and I had to carry her indoors, cat flap in now locked.

Please help me, what would you do? I had the vet booked for friday but then it was such a nice day I let her sit out in the garden instead which she seemed to enjoy.

[Crewella]

I've recently had to make the same decision for my 19.5 year old cat Minnie. It's horrible, and I'm so sorry you're having to face it.

To me, it's all about comfort and quality of life, you have to remember that cats are very good at hiding the fact that they are in pain, and I do believe that giving them a peaceful end is the kindest and most loving thing we can do for them. If she's not comfortable in some positions, not herself, and not eating then I'm afraid it sounds to me as though she's had enough and it's time. I think you know it yourself, but (quite understandably) are struggling to make the decision.

It's been said a few times on this forum, it was said to me, that 'better a day too early than a day too late'. I wouldn't want to wait until things were desperate and a cat was really suffering.

I'm so sorry - I wish I could say something to make it easier. (((hugs)))

[lilynmitz]

I agree with Crewella I'm afraid. Your puss really does sound very poorly, and there are so many other conditions it could be than just CRF, such as cancer, which took two of my pusses in the past, and it was very advanced before it could be diagnosed.

Please don't wait till Friday, your puss is very unwell now, so there's no reason to defer it, as you're just prolonging her suffering. Maybe the vet can suggest something to make her more comfortable, but if she's not eating and can't bring herself in when it's raining, and has lost so much weight, it does sound like she's had enough. And if she's not eating, the lack of nutrition and dehydration will only hasten the inevitable.

I know everyone would have their own view on this, but I think your friends' suggestion to let her go in her own time is not kind. It sounds like she has very little quality of life now, and as Crewella says, cats are VERY good at hiding illness and pain, so if she's behaving like this, you can be sure she really is very unwell and very uncomfortable. If your vet feels there is no hope of any improvement, then the kindest thing would be to let her go with dignity.

I do hope the vet can give you more hopeful news, but please, don't leave this till the end of the week. She is very poorly now, and needs your help.

I really do feel for you, as I've been in this position myself, and it is agonising. But I know you'll do the right thing for her, or you wouldn't be here asking what to do for the best for her.

[JulieJulie]

Thank you for your kind replies.

Today at 11.30am the vet helped my beloved Alice to pass over to the Rainbow Bridge.

I miss her so much but this morning she could not get up at all - such a difference from last night even - the decision was made for me. I rang my wonderful vet and they came to the house where Alice peacefully passed away in her favourite spot on the sofa, with just a tiny bit of help.

My heart goes out to anyone else in this position too....but I never regret having my cats, the sadness is tiny in comparison to the years of love, loyalty and companionship they bring me.

Run free my darling Alice, mummy misses you so much xx

[lilynmitz]

Oh Julie, I'm very sorry to hear this. Even when you know it's their time, it's still very hard. I'm pleased the vet was able to come to you, it makes it so much easier. Alice is at peace now, and from what you describe, I'm in no doubt you did the right thing. RIP little one. Take care Julie.

[Crewella]

I'm so sorry. Please take some comfort in the fact that you did your very best for her, and it's lovely that she was able to go to rest in her favourite spot in her own home. (((hugs)))

Rest in peace much loved Alice. xx

[bobbys girl]

Very sorry to hear the news Julie. As much as you know you were doing the right thing for her, it still hurts doesn't it?

She is at peace now and playing, happily at RB. RIP little one.

(hugs)x

[hgale]

Rest in peace, lovely Alice, my Kit and Mischa will look after you.

I'm sad to read about her Julie, but I have to agree with everyone else - you made the kindest decision for her. I'm glad the Vet was able to visit her at home.

{hugs} from me.

[JulieJulie]

Thank you....the kind words from those who understand mean so much.....x