Cat Chat Feline Forum

Hi all. I'm new here, came on as I was hoping to get some advice.

I have 2 ragdolls, both girls, 4 years old and are indoor cats. They're not from the same litter but we got them at the same time as kittens from the same breeder. They have always had a love/hate relationship. They fight a lot but also snuggle.

One of them is a very nervous and nutty cat and we've had behavioural problems. She toilets outside of the tray, has weed on our clothes and plucks her fur out. We spent a lot of time with the vet ruling out causes and it was put down to anxiety. She has been on medication and calmed down lots. she even stopped plucking and her fur grew back.

We moved to a house a few months ago (was previously in a flat) and I thought the behaviour would get better as they could get space from each other. However it's got much worse. They fight constantly and power struggle over the rooms. The nervous one will not sleep with us as the other fights her off the bed. She's toiletting outside the trays again and has begun plucking her fur. They both claw up the carpets where they chase each other.

I want to give it more time as we've only been in the house 2 months but my husband wants to rehome the nervous one. He was fed up with her in the flat but now he's had enough. He blames her for holes in the carpet, even though it's both of them and gets angry at her all the time. We argue over it but I really don't think I will win and I dong know what to do.

I don't want to lose her but I don't know how to improve her behaviour. My husband thinks I'm being selfish by keeping her and that they'd both be happier in a single cat household.

Any advice would be much appreciated x

a lot of her stressed out behaviour may be because she can sense your OH's hostility towards her, and if this is unlikely to change then rehoming her might be the only solution

you will need to be careful finding the right home though, as her current problems will probably persist for a while in a new home, and she may find herself moved on again, which would be very sad

while you are looking you could try keeping her in a room on her own, which bully cat never enters, and where she can feel relaxed and safe, and see if her behaviour settles down - if it does you could try to reintegrate her into the household again, taking it very slowly and always giving her a chance to get back to her safe room

Others may disagree with me on here, but I happen to think re homing one would be the best option, it sounds like they clearly don't want to live together and possibly haven't been happy for some time if the stressed cat has a history of being stressed, I have been doing rescue for 17 years and have at times had war in the house where a couple of cats have clashed and the only way I have ever resolved this is by rehoming one, some cats love other cats, some need to live alone. I would however recommend that if this is a route you choose to go down that you contact a pedigree rescue to ensure the right forever home is found.
Good luck I hope you manage to get everyone happy!

Hi, I can understand how difficult this as we are having the same issues with our female Ragdoll (Bailey)and her 'brother', a Ragdoll cross who came to us last year having been neglected by previous owners. She is completely bonkers,highly strung and has behavioural problems ie spraying. Our carpets were already plucked and shredded by our BSH boy and Bailey has continued this, also peed on and destroyed our TV! She is allowed out to let off steam which I'm reluctant to do but she goes nuts if kept in and our garden isn't secure. If it's possible could you secure your garden so she could go outside safely? Although Bailey fights with her brother they are very close, groom each other and are bonded. If one is separated for any length of time they pine so re homing would have to be together if we were going down that route. If you think your raggies could live happily apart then re homing might be the answer for her, but maybe try Kay's advice first.

Hi, I rehomed 2 Ragdolls a few years ago, different ages but had lived, indoors, together and got on well together, but I had a lot of toiletting problems with them. They usually weed in their trays, but that was all - they messed on carpets all over the house, many times a day, and it was always soft, very messy, not properly formed. I later found out that was why they they'd been given to the rescue, without that information being passed on. I spoke to many people for advice - breeders, vets, a behaviourist, Ragdoll rescue, experienced rescuers, etc but no one could help. I changed the type of litter, had more trays, all the usual things, but nothing changed. Eventually my vet suggested that I try letting them out into the garden, which I first tried on a harness - not a good idea as they'd run round bushes and get tangled up, but they loved it and cried when I took them back indoors. I then let them out 'free range', hoping they'd not go far or come to any harm (my garden isn't secure) and the toiletting problem stopped instantly. They love going out, but don't roam or stay out long.

I wonder if being allowed out, if you're not on a busy road, might be the answer to some, or all, of the problems you're having? I was told that they've no sense of danger, but my two react like any other cats when they hear a car or other noise and run for safety.

I hope you can resolve the problem without having to consider rehoming.