Cat behaviour - I need to re-home. Please help.

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LolaRuby3
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Cat behaviour - I need to re-home. Please help.

Post by LolaRuby3 » Sun Jun 07, 2015 5:10 pm

I have two cats (sisters) who are four years old and I need to re-home.

Since the birth of my baby 14 months ago their behaviour completely changed and I hoped that as time passed and they adjusted to the new family member they would calm down but things are getting worse.

They are so unhappy here and it's not fair to them.

One of them keeps getting stress induced cycstitis and I spoke to my Vet about possibly having to re-home and she said that although it's not ideal nor is it fair to make my cats like in a stressful environment.

They used to be so loving and affectionate and now they are too scared to leave the upstairs bedroom. We only ever see them when our baby has gone to bed.

The main issue we have though is that they keep urinating EVERYWHERE. It's over our clothes, in our bags, over the carpet, in the bath, in the baby's cot and today I went to put the baby in his car seat and it was soaked with urine. We just can't cope anymore.

I have tried everything: they've had every type of cat litter tray and cat litter going, I have used Zyklene, the biscuits that are supposed to be calming (I can't remember their name now) and I have been using Feliway sprays and plug-ins and absolutely nothing is working.

We have just reached the end of the line.

I have tried Cat Protection but they won't take them. People have mentioned reforming them via Facebook/gumtree but I really don't want to do that - but I don't know what other option I have.

Can anyone help?

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nannymcfee
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Re: Cat behaviour - I need to re-home. Please help.

Post by nannymcfee » Sun Jun 07, 2015 7:36 pm

Is this the Lola and Ruby who are little tabby ones....if so i remember how much you loved them so much..

I do hope someone on here will be able to give you guidance , i cannot help sorry as daughters cats have taken to her new baby really well, although one of them has always urinated on wet clothing, and in sink and bath...( but he was 'runt' of litter so we excuse him ) we find a litter tray each and one extra works mostly.

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Re: Cat behaviour - I need to re-home. Please help.

Post by jenniferozzy » Sun Jun 07, 2015 9:08 pm

please try feliway a lot longer, my cat has been ill from cystitis for the last month, weeing everywhere etc, she got antibiotics and antinflammatories and i bought a feliway diffuser last week....she has stopped weeing outside the litter box... day one it worked !! mke sure its on all the time shes less stressed now and so am i

cats pick up on our stress , dont be mad at your cat ...try the diffuser a bit longer or something else ive been recommended is feliway cystease it has calming stuff init, dont bother with tefeliway spray its rubbish


try n get the cats routine as normal as you can

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SarahT1 [PLLE]
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Re: Cat behaviour - I need to re-home. Please help.

Post by SarahT1 [PLLE] » Mon Jun 08, 2015 1:52 pm

What a heart breaking post and situation. I remember these lovely girls, and Brian/James who so wanted to be part of your family. It is a real shock to read your post.

If you really feel you have no other option, which is gut wrenching to think of, please don't go via Facebook or Gumtree. Start to make contact with reputable rescues and be prepared for it to take time to find the right one who will take love and protect your girls till they find a home. Lola and Ruby deserve the best re-homing scheme you can find. Nothing about the situation they are is their fault. You need to be absolutely assured that they will be loved and cherished as they deserve.

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Re: Cat behaviour - I need to re-home. Please help.

Post by LolaRuby3 » Mon Jun 08, 2015 9:40 pm

I've had 8 months of trying to do everything I can to try and make Lola and Ruby happier but nothing works and it's got to the point that I feel upset that their live has been disrupted so much and how stressful they are finding it.

They have even started lashing out at my son and he's had two very nasty scratches across his face.

I know that their behaviour is absolutely not their fault but I can't manage it anymore and at the end of the day I want them to be in a home where they are happy and they can roam about the house as they wish and have plenty of love and cuddles because that's what they deserve.

My husband is trying to be patient with them but he's getting frustrated. As soon as we walk into our house all you can smell is cat urine. One of them even passed urine in the baby's cot a few weeks ago.

My husband is now talking about making them live as outdoor cats because it feels like we can't trust them to be in the house anymore because they just wee everywhere.

I just feel so sorry for them because they aren't happy and they have many, many years ahead of them and they should be in a home that is suited for them, not being force to live in such a stressful environment for them.

I'm so upset about it. When I rang cat protection the other week I was nearly in tears when I was speaking to the lady on the end of the phone.

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Re: Cat behaviour - I need to re-home. Please help.

Post by Mrs Kane » Tue Jun 09, 2015 1:36 am

It's really a tough situation but (and I know I'm probably going to get grrs for this) your little baby is what comes first, and if they're soiling his cot that is a bad sign and of course bad for your baby's health. The scratching is also not on and scary to hear. I've suggested some points below but you all might be better off rehoming your cats unless you can afford a specialist to come in and help you.

In the short term have you considered cat nets over your baby's cot? http://www.amazon.co.uk/Clippasafe-CL16 ... B0006H4PEO" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; I've heard they're not perfect, but they will stop the cats getting in his cot, unless they start to destroy it.

If they're spraying around the house you need to find them a safe place. They're probably urinating everywhere because they don't feel they have a safe spot to go. Or they feel they just don't have a spot anymore. They're doing it out of sadness and irriation at the change to their place. Cats are terribly territorial and hate change so you probably need to set them up with an area they feel safe long term. Do you have a spare room where you can move their food and water? And possibly a spare bathroom for their mess? (preferably on the same floor) As far away from your baby's room as possible if you can.

A lot of vets say to confine the cats for a period of time with all their necessities in a room. I mean really confine. Do not let them out at all, only go in to clean, feed and water them and give them attention. I've read time from a week to a few months. I don't know how true this is, and to be honest to protect your baby's health and yours I would consider setting up a consultation with your local vet for his/her opinion. I did a little googling on your behalf and this solution actually crops up a lot.

They also say to confine your cat while you sleep to a room while your baby is very young. Or if you're lucky and have dual access, two rooms. This way you know they aren't soiling anything you don't know about.

Your cats are obviously unhappy with the new situation and I'm sure as much as you love them you need to ask yourself how much you can commit to improving the situation, and/or if it doesn't get better, how much longer can you cope with it. Having an apartment/house with minimal activity isn't a big deal when a cat creates mess, but when you have a kid that's eventually going to want to start roaming around and getting in trouble... That's a whole new kettle of fish.
My husband is now talking about making them live as outdoor cats because it feels like we can't trust them to be in the house anymore because they just wee everywhere.
How old are they? If they're young enough it could be a possibility. I'd say anything older than 2 or 3 is stretching it though.

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Re: Cat behaviour - I need to re-home. Please help.

Post by Crewella » Tue Jun 09, 2015 12:37 pm

Poor Lola and Ruby, they are obviously desperately trying to comfort themselves by superimposing their own smell over the smell of the 'newcomer' - babies do have a strong smell to a cat. I wish I could offer some helpful advice, but by the sound of it you tried Feliway and most of the things I would have suggested. You don't say if they have outdoor access at the moment?

If you do decide to rehome, please don't try Facebook or Gumtree. You don't say where you are, but find your area on this link and ring round all the rescues and explain the situation exactly as you've told us. All will be full, but some will have a waiting list (especially the smaller independent rescues) and ask them to put your cats on it. Be persistent - most people don't bother to tell rescues when they find a home for their cat, so the only way they'll know that you still need a space is if you keep telling them. It's the worst time of year at the moment because of the kitten season, but if you keep trying you will find a space eventually.

http://www.catchat.org/adoption/index.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

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Re: Cat behaviour - I need to re-home. Please help.

Post by mr_frisky » Tue Jun 09, 2015 5:46 pm

Are you giving them the same attention they received previously, or is it all baby baby?

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Re: Cat behaviour - I need to re-home. Please help.

Post by HRHFluffy » Tue Jun 09, 2015 6:53 pm

I'm so sorry to hear this. I remember how much you adore Lola and Ruby. What a distressing time for everyone. I don't have enough experience of this to be able to offer much help but as Helen says don't go down the Facebook or Gumtree route whatever you decide. Really hope something positive can be sorted.

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Re: Cat behaviour - I need to re-home. Please help.

Post by LolaRuby3 » Tue Jun 09, 2015 8:59 pm

Thank you everyone for your responses. We did consider finding them a 'safe room' but unfortunately the only spare room we had has now become the nursery. We did trial using a bathroom for their litter trays but because the bathroom is next to the nursery it meant their scrabbling, digging and scratching kept disturbing the baby.

They absolutely definitely do not have the same attention that they used to have from us, it's just impossible. During the day we don't really see them as A) they hide upstairs to avoid my son and B) I won't have them in the same room as my son as I can't trust them not to scratch him. Me and my husband do see the cats after our son has gone to bed as they will then come into the living room but it's only for a few hours before we go to bed ourselves.

They both have to be shut in the kitchen overnight because we can't trust them not to urinate around the house and also, if they are free to roam they will head to the same floor of the house as the nursery and start scratching the door and carpets which then wakes our son.

For the poster who asked about outside access, they can come and go as they please as we have a Microchip Flap but it's very, very rare that they go outside, they are very much indoor cats and always have been.

I suppose I just can't see any way out of this and now that our son has started to walk and he's much more mobile and loud the stress on Lola and Ruby is just escalating.

Their whole life had been turned upside down and the way they are now having to life just isn't fair to them.

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Re: Cat behaviour - I need to re-home. Please help.

Post by Grace56 » Wed Jun 10, 2015 5:46 am

Have you considered a cat behaviourist? They can work wonders with cats who have problems like this. Your vet could perhaps refer you.
I would try anything going to keep the cats if I were you. But don't advertise them on Gumtree or FB if you do decide to re home. The poor little souls could end up anywhere.

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Re: Cat behaviour - I need to re-home. Please help.

Post by Catfan5 » Wed Jun 10, 2015 8:45 am

Hi, sorry to hear this, you must feel torn. I took on my daughter in law's two cats when baby came along, as they were going to be given to the rspca. They're beautiful long haired cats who were getting very stressed and neglected and luckily we could take them although they've had to get used to living with our other cats. I hope you manage to find a solution for your cats.
Last edited by Catfan5 on Thu Jun 11, 2015 7:57 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Cat behaviour - I need to re-home. Please help.

Post by SarahT1 [PLLE] » Wed Jun 10, 2015 9:59 am

This is just so sad. I remember the beautiful pictures of Lola and Ruby eating dinner with lovely James/Brian who was making himself at home. Where do you live? Please at least ask your local rescues to circulate their details whilst you keep them at home until they can be adopted by a loving family. Some rescues will do that and may home check for you.

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Re: Cat behaviour - I need to re-home. Please help.

Post by LolaRuby3 » Wed Jun 10, 2015 11:18 am

I live in Hinckley, Leicestershire.

The gorgeous Brian disappeared last year, he just didn't come home one day :o( Someone once told me that cats take themselves off to die and I wonder if that's what happened as only four days prior to him disappearing I had taken him to the Vets as something just seemed different about him, he just didn't seem himself.

I really miss having him around. He absolutely loved the baby and was always cuddling up to us. At least I know the last year of his life was a happy one with us.

When my son has his afternoon nap I'm going to sit down and start looking for contact details of local rescue centres. I keep putting it off because I feel so upset about it all but at the same time it's not fair for Lola and Ruby to live like this. It's a really difficult situation :o(

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Re: Cat behaviour - I need to re-home. Please help.

Post by LolaRuby3 » Wed Jun 10, 2015 11:31 am

I keep trying to post recent photos them because I have some really cute ones (including Lola wearing some reindeer antlers at Christmas) but it keeps saying my images are too big :o(

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Re: Cat behaviour - I need to re-home. Please help.

Post by nannymcfee » Wed Jun 10, 2015 2:32 pm

Have Lola and Ruby become worse since Brian disappeared?

Now this seem a daft question but do you use a special baby washing powder for your little boy?/bubble bath? i know some cats hate certain smells ..

I really hope one of the cat charities where you are can help/ place Lola and Ruby on their waiting list.

Are their any groups for OAP's that meet locally, someone who may have lost a loved one or want company , may just want to take on 2 kitties .

Good luck, & i hope things take a turn for the better... :0)

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Re: Cat behaviour - I need to re-home. Please help.

Post by Mrs Kane » Thu Jun 11, 2015 12:27 am

I keep trying to post recent photos them because I have some really cute ones (including Lola wearing some reindeer antlers at Christmas) but it keeps saying my images are too big :o(
Are you trying to post them on here? I've had problems similar on this site. I'd recommend making using imageshack or making an account just for your cats on photobucket (with a new email) if you need to post and are worried about hacking. I've never been able to get a picture to work on here, so I just go with links.

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