Re homed cat becoming aggressive to it's supposed best frien

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Catfairy
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Re homed cat becoming aggressive to it's supposed best frien

Post by Catfairy »

I need some advice please. We gave 2 cats a home, we took them together as the previous owner insisted they be kept together as they were best friends. One of them has settled in straightaway, in fact, you'd think he'd been with us from being a kitten. The other is finding it a little more stressful which we were warned about. We have stuck with him and every day now we are getting positive steps forwards with him and he is staring to trust us. Unfortunately however, he is becoming quite nasty with the other cat. We put it down to stress at first but it isn't getting any better, I could almost say he's getting worse and he is starting to make his friend quite jumpy. We are now wondering what to do for the best. We don't want to give up on him but don't want the other one to become miserable. Should we stick with it or look for a home where he might be happier on his own?
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Jacks
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Re: Re homed cat becoming aggressive to it's supposed best f

Post by Jacks »

Mmm, did you get them through a private arrangement or through a rescue? If the latter, I would have a talk to them about this.

I've read many times of rescues taking in cats where the owner has said 'they're inseparable' meaning they tolerate each other and I want you to take them both....

I am suspecting from what you've said that this is the case here; that these cats have tolerated each other but don't like each other - and being in a new home, where dominance becomes a new issue in the changed environment, they are showing their 'true colours'.

It may be that the stressed cat is feeling threatened by the assumed dominance of the confident cat. You don't say their names or how long you've had them for, but I'd look at the guidance on this site:
http://www.catchat.org/hierarchies.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

...and actively try to encourage positive interaction between them.
Well done for taking on these lovely cats.
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Re: Re homed cat becoming aggressive to it's supposed best f

Post by Catfairy »

Hi Jacks,

We've had them a month now through a private arrangement. Squiffy, the ginger Tom is completely at home, really affectionate and bold as brass. The other, Buster, is the timid one. When we do get him from under the bed he loves the attention. Loves being brushed and stroked (as does Squiffs) and he is now starting to come to us when we call him so positive steps as I said and therefore not wanting to give up on him. It's just Buster's issue with Squiffs, I really don't think he likes him, hissing and spitting at him. Even in just this short space of time, I've noticed a slight difference in Squiffs behaviour, being jumpy and not overly keen on using the cat flap anymore (although I have had a cat before who preferred having the opened rather than making the effort of pushing the cat flap open herself!!). I think we're going to give it a couple more weeks and if it doesn't get any better I think may be Buster would be better off on his own somewhere.
I've read the link you put on and I will also try the Feliway. I'll try anything to be honest because in general, Buster is a lovely cat and I would prefer to keep him.

Thanks for your advice, although I'm still open to more if anyone else has any experience with this.

Kindest regard
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Crewella
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Re: Re homed cat becoming aggressive to it's supposed best f

Post by Crewella »

Firstly, good on you for taking on a couple of adult cats who needed a home. :)

I'm another proud owner of a couple of cats who came as 'a pair' but really don't much like each other. Grumpy Nellie and Merrick had lived together for over 9 years when they came to me, but I'd never have guessed that fact - they're both loners at heart who mostly want to be left to their own company. Having said that, they're fine and have leaned to rub along with each other, and the rest of the gang, pretty well.

A month is still very early days. I've taken on quite a few older cats in the last few years, and I do feel it takes several months for cats to really settle in. After a few weeks the shy ones start to get enough confidence to begin asserting themselves, and the ones who seem super confident at first often do seem to then go through a phase of insecurity before they really do settle in.

Cat relationships are complicated, and personally I think your boys will be fine together, even if they're not the 'best friends' you first envisaged. Cats who are feeling a bit stressed and insecure can also redirect their feelings of agression onto those close to them, so I would give them another couple of months at least before making any decisions. Hopefully, things will have settled down by then, I hope so.
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Re: Re homed cat becoming aggressive to it's supposed best f

Post by Catfairy »

We're definitely sticking with it. We've had a couple more breakthroughs with Buster. He's finally decided that sleeping on top of the bed is much more comfortable than underneath it! Although he does spend more time under it than on top but every step counts. He even got into bed with my boyfriend this morning which is an absolute first!!!!! He almost walked over to the sofa today for a cuddle but then something spooked him (possibly his shadow) and he changed his mind. Hopefully he'll start being nicer to Squiffy with time. It would be nice to have them both chill on the sofa with us at night rather than just one and it would make meal times a lot easier.
Fingers crossed xx
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Re: Re homed cat becoming aggressive to it's supposed best f

Post by Jacks »

This is lovely news - things are definitely improving. Yes, a month is no time at all in the scheme of things. Hope Buster and Squiffy are both cuddling up with you on that sofa soon! X
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Re: Re homed cat becoming aggressive to it's supposed best f

Post by Catfairy »

Was hoping to attach a picture but no joy, I'm a technophobe unfortunately. Anyway, things are getting so much better. They are quite happy eating next to each at the same feeding mat (that was the picture I was trying to attach). I don't think they'll be snuggling up anytime soon but we're moving forward. Buster is now really confident with us, he sleeps on top of the bed now (and under the duvet with us sometimes) and jumps on to the sofa for cuddles. He has even brought in his first mouse present for us. Squiffy brought us his first rabbit 2 nights ago which is a change from the mice he brings in every night. Don't particularly like him catching rabbits but what can you do. All in all, they've really settled and I think they are happy. Thanks for the advice, I'm so glad we've stuck with it. They are beautiful cats with equally beautiful personalities who are bringing us a great deal of joy. I like to think that their first mum is looking down and is pleased that her boys are happy and still together. Maybe one day I'll figure out how to upload a photo and there'll be one to post of them snuggled together.
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Re: Re homed cat becoming aggressive to it's supposed best f

Post by meriad »

What a lovely update and I'm sure their previous mum is indeed smiling down at you all.

Fusses to your boys and hope things continue to improve every day and you all have many happy years together
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Re: Re homed cat becoming aggressive to it's supposed best f

Post by Crewella »

That's great news - I'm really pleased for you. :)
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