Rehoming and behavioural issues - desperate for help.

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LolaRuby3
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Rehoming and behavioural issues - desperate for help.

Post by LolaRuby3 »

I'm posting here and in rehoming because I'm so desperate for help and advice. I'm sorry if this is so long.

To cut a very long story short I have two beautiful cats who for the last year I have been needing to rehome but have put it off because I couldn't bear the thought of it.

The issue is that since my son came along (he is now 17 months) things have gone dramatically downhill, my cats are so unhappy with me and I hate it. They used to be so social but now they just hide in the spare bedroom to avoid my son. We have tried absolutely everything possible over the last 15 months (when things started going wrong) to try and improve things for my cats but nothing worked. We had Feliway (plug ins and spray), we had the Calminf food and Zyklene powders, w gave them their own personal room (a safety room as such) and spent as much time with them as we possibly could. However, things just went from bad to worse and they were weeing absolutely everywhere around the house, on the furniture, in our wardrobe, in the bath, on the carpets, in the car seat, the pushchair, the kitchen floor and even in our babies cot. One of them has been treated for stress induced cystitis on at least three occasions.

Anyway, about 3 months ago I accepted that I needed to rehome them because of unhappy they are here. I hate seeing them like this and they don't deserve to live in a house they are don't feel safe and secure in.

I met various people who were interested in having them but I couldn't bring myself to do it as something just didn't feel right, the families just didn't seem a right fit and I knew I could only hand them over to someone who I completely felt comfortable with.

Two weeks ago a woman came to meet them and I instantly knew she and her family were perfect. We spent a lot of time talking about my cats and their personalities and she was smitten. She also bought one of her sons to meet the cats and I knew they'd be going to a good home. I took the cats over a few days later and I left them knowing they were going to be much loved and well cared for.

The following day she messaged me to say one of them was weeing blood (clearly cystitis) so she took the cat to the vet which cost her £71 and I felt awful. She went above and beyond in terms of trying to ease the cats in to her home, more Feliway, Calming food and powders, lots of litter trays, their own room, lots of love and treats etc but one of the cats wouldn't stop weeing everywhere and then a few days later the other cat did too. They were urinating all over the wooden floors, the carpets, in their beds, in their shoes - just everywhere. She stuck with it, hoping things would improve because she desperately wanted it to work out but she has been in touch today, said things are just getting worse, she can't cope, she doesn't know what else she can do and so the cats are now coming back to me tonight.

I'm so upset as I thought that finally they were going to have a happy life with a living family but now they are coming back to a house they feel scared in.

I don't know what to do. I need to rehome though, they can't live like they currently are, I hate seeing them look so fearful and sad all the time. But how can I rehome them if this is how they are going to behave in another house?

I'm thinking I'm going to have to ring up a rescue centre because I have no other choice but I can't bear the thought of them bring separated or PTS if no home can be found. I just feel so upset about it all.

Does anyone have any advice?

I live on the the border of Warwickshire and Leicestershire if anyone knows of any trusted rescue centres or rehoming centres? I'm even willing to travel to a Centre out of my County if need be.

I am so upset and desperate because I just want my cats to be somewhere they can be happy.

Thank you in advance for any advice or reassurances you can offer.
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Catfan5
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Re: Rehoming and behavioural issues - desperate for help.

Post by Catfan5 »

Hi, so sorry to hear you're going through such a stressful time, poor cats and poor you too :( I took on my DIL's two cats in April last year for the same reasons and it has taken over a year for them to settle and feel comfortable with us. One of them still sprays indoors occasionally but it's getting less now. Ours is a fairly quiet household, just the two of us and the cats which has helped I think. You've done everything right so far, I can't think of anything else. You must be exhausted but are you able to give them 'play time'? when baby is napping? Maybe they are picking up on your stress too, cats are so sensitive. I think it might be tricky to re home them if one has behavioural issues though, it would need someone with time, patience and experience. Wishing you a positive outcome for you and your furries, try not to stress too much.
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Crewella
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Re: Rehoming and behavioural issues - desperate for help.

Post by Crewella »

Hi, I remember you posting about your two cats before, and I'm sorry you're going through such a tough time.

My first thought is to make sure both cats are clear of cystitis, I do think you need to get on top of that situation first as they will definitely pee everywhere if cystitis is an issue. I would also keep them in that one room with several litter trays for a few weeks. It might help them to feel more secure and get them using the trays again - I've often noticed that cats in a small pen will usually use the tray.

I wish I could offer something more helpful, but as a volunteer for a cat rescue I can assure you that there are many rescues, like small independents similar to ours, that will never put a healthy cat down and strive to keep bonded pairs together. It's never ideal for a cat to be in a pen, but it IS a chance for them to secure a happy forever home. xx
Dilcia
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Re: Rehoming and behavioural issues - desperate for help.

Post by Dilcia »

You could try contacting a rescue place ( or several ) for advice, but as cats think of humans as hairless cats they are probably afraid of your child. Sorry I can't be of any help. Rescues try to keep cats together though. xxx
LolaRuby3
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Re: Rehoming and behavioural issues - desperate for help.

Post by LolaRuby3 »

Well the cats came back late yesterday afternoon and are clearly miserable to be here. The lady dropped them off whilst I was at work and my husband said she was really tearful :cry:

It's such a sad situation.

I will be ringing around some cat rescue centres tomorrow. Would they be reluctant to take them though because of the likelihood of Ruby weeing everywhere?
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Jacks
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Re: Rehoming and behavioural issues - desperate for help.

Post by Jacks »

Oh dear - how terribly sad for you and the cats - and the family that wanted them. There does seem to be a genuine issue with cystitis, generally relating to anxiety I would think - and the fact that one wees when distressed has now rubbed off on the second.

I'm thinking that maybe these two need a home without ANY children; some cats (and some dogs) just find children of any kind to unpredictable and scary. Not all cats wee when they're scared and unhappy but it needs to be pointed out to rescues as these two need a quiet home with adults only, and probably gentle adults at that, who can spend time just letting them become acclimatized to a new, non-threatening, environment.

In the meantime would it be possible to set them up in a small room - like a bedroom - by themselves, with a waterproof cover over the bedding, two litter trays and water, and take their food in? I wonder if given a quiet enclosed environment they might not be so scared, and be easier to maintain?
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