Introducing shy rescue cat

[Khawkins0508]

My boyfriend and I have just adopted an 18 month old female rescue cat. She is quite shy and was very overpowered by some of the more boisterous cats at the rescue centre so she likes to hide a lot.

She has started to come out and fuss around us, however as soon as we both leave the room she goes and hides again. Is it best to leave her to come out of her own accord or should we try and entice her out?

We are just keeping her in the lounge for now, rather than letting her have the run of the whole house. But we wondered if maybe we should bring her into our room with us at night so she doesn't feel alone?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

[Lilith]

Hi and welcome

Bless her - and good on you for adopting her.

It sounds as if things are going well, and it's a case of 'gently does it'. I would just let her do her own thing, hide when she wants to, and come out for a love when she feels like it; sounds like you're doing all the right things.

I'm reminded of when my Emily, a feral who brought me 5 tiny kittens from across the street moved in (well, she had to, with the nursery, and I wanted her to anyway.) She too was a very shy girl - but after a couple of weeks I would wake up to see her sitting on the bedroom chair, smiling at me. She'd left her kittens in the spare room to come and be with me...I was amazed and honoured!

If it's convenient to leave doors open overnight, you could perhaps do this, and let her choose. I'm certain she'll join you of her own free will - cats do love a nice soft bed with warm humans in it lol.

Hope you have many happy years ahead with her - give her a love from me and keep updating

[Kay]

congratulations on your new family member

I would leave her to familiarize herself with you and her new home entirely at a pace of her choosing - the longer you can go without anything spooking her, the quicker she will feel relaxed and safe

you could try leaving the door to your bedroom open and see what she does, but I wouldn't physically carry her into the room - it sounds as if she is going to settle quite quickly, and you really don't need to force the issue at the moment - and you'll find you'll get a great deal of satisfaction watching her come out of her shell bit by bit

I see Lilith has already posted much the same, and you know what they say about great minds .... !

[Lilith]

LOL! Yup!

[lilynmitz]

Well done taking on a timid puss. They all deserve a chance, and can be incredibly rewarding.

In the last 6 months I've just introduced two complete scaredy cats one at a time to my house, both just over a year old, not quite feral, but very very timid. They wouldn't let me near them to start with and spent the first few days dug in underneath the bed, so I made it comfortable for them there, and put food, water and litter close to the bed so they didn't have to venture out far to do the necessary. I spent a lot of time lying on the floor just talking to them quietly, letting them sniff my fingers etc, until eventually they would let me stroke them a little, but always backed off it they looked worried and never forced them. After two days Elsie suddenly decided I was probably ok and came out and rolled all over the floor next to me, although she still had her dinner under the bed for weeks. It was ages before she was brave enough to play (she found all toys frightening), and it was months before she trusted us enough to fall asleep in our company. Ziggy took even longer to get to those stages, although he also had Elsie to show him the ropes. But then I let them explore the house at their own speed, and sometimes we'd glimpse a little head looking down from the top of the stairs, or peeping through the bannisters, or popping a head round the living room door, until finally they had the courage to come in the room with us.

We'd always play with them gently, never pick them up if they didn't want it (or later when I was getting them used to being held, always put them gently back down as soon as they struggled, so they know they can control it and being held isn't threatening), and if they wanted to run off again, we always let them. We also kept them in a good long while (several months) until they were less "flighty" so we could be reasonably sure they wouldn't get spooked and scarper outside. They both had baggage in that department too, after a rough start in life.

Elsie has been with us for about 6 months now and is a complete tart, and now her confidence is growing she's asserting herself on poor little Zig as well! Ziggy is now also a cuddle bum, tearing around the house like a lunatic, sitting in front of my computer screen, climbing all over me and generally being a happy hooligan. Elsie is a little wary of visitors, and Zig still buries himself under the bed if people come round, but he very quickly recovers and on occasion will venture down to check them out.

It sounds like you're already a long way down the line, and she's getting there. If she wants to hide, always let her retreat to somewhere she feels safe in the house. It won't do any harm, and will help her grow in confidence.

I hope this helps - the message being give her time to work out that you're safe to be with, then let her take everything at her own pace, and you will help her on the way to becoming as happy, trusting, relaxed and confident as she can be.

[Khawkins0508]

Thanks ever so much for all the advice!

Think we will try leaving our door open tonight and then at least she has the option to come in if she wants to. I'm just glad that she is eating and using her litter tray, as that was my main worry at first.

As you all say, it will take her time but things are looking promising so far!

[Crewella]

As has been said, and said well, just give her time and keep doing what you're doing.

[Khawkins0508]

We left our bedroom door open last night and she started coming in meowing every hour after about 3am. She did jump on the bed and start kneading at one point but she couldn't settle.

We got up with her about 7am and put some fresh food out but she wasn't interested. She keeps wandering round, looking at us and meowing but I really don't know what she wants! She has plenty of food and clean water, we've spent time fussing her but she still keeps doing this pitiful meow.

Any ideas what she may want? Or maybe she's just very vocal!

[Kay]

I'm afraid not knowing what a cat wants is par for the course - it goes with the territory, so to speak

it's great really that she's interacting with you, even though a 3 am cat chat may not be ideal - she obviously sees you as her people and is well on course to owning you completely

[Lilith]

Ah.

Sorry - I feel a bit responsible here as I was the first one to suggest leaving doors open for her to explore. Sorry you had such a disrupted night, but she's clearly into the next stage of socialisation and commenting non-stop on all her new experiences - 'ooo I got on to the bed, ooo isn't THIS interesting!'

I feel she'll quieten down soon; though I too have a vocal one who demands conversations at all hours. I just talk back to her, even if it is a case of 'umm-umm-ummm' lol.

Love it that she got on to your bed and kneaded - I have a feeling she'll be sleeping there tonight (though of course it's the big bonfire Saturday - hard to know whether that will unsettle her or whether she'll take absolutely no notice at all - one of mine GROWLS at rockets; the rest just go 'ho hum' and go back to sleep.)

As Kay says, it IS hard to know what cats want sometimes, but sounds like she's making great progress, bless her - do keep updating, lovely to hear of a rescue like this, settling in so well

[lilynmitz]

Elsie was very vocal when she started finding her feet, but once she settled in she was much quieter. She was really funny when she first went into the garden, she wandered rounding meowing non-stop! It's probably residual behaviour from kittenhood when they call a lot for reassurance from their mum when they feel uncertain. Just give her strokes and comforting talk. It's great that she explored your room and hopped up on the bed with you. If she's coming to you for reassurance like this, it's a sign of the basis of a good bond with you. Enjoy !

[Khawkins0508]

Thanks for the advice! It's good to know others have experienced the same thing and you don't think she is stressed out.

Am on my own tonight so will leave the door open for her again and see if she wants to come in. I think more than anything she just wants to know that we're still about and haven't left her!

[lilynmitz]

"I think more than anything she just wants to know that we're still about and haven't left her!"

Quite right!

[emmab]

Sounds like you are doing great with her and is so nice to hear someone rescuing a timid cat which may not grab someones attention. Most people tend to go with outgoing cats b I am like you on this one. Well done on your efforts and feel sure she will settle in really well.

[Khawkins0508]

Thought I'd give you an update. We have continued leaving our bedroom door open for her and she still comes in but isn't as vocal as before. She came in and jumped on the bed of her own accord last night, she spent the rest of the night in the lounge.

She is eating well and is coming to us for lots of fuss and is playing with us. She tends to charge out of rooms sometimes when you walk in but I think this might just be her playful side more than anything!

[suelily]

My latest addition meows loudly at all times of the day just for the sake of it. She has the whole house to herself so no reason to meow says me. Lily and resident cat Dexy have been in the livingroom at night now for nearly 2 weeks and I never hear them. Although I miss her snuggling in with me at night it had to be done if there was any chance for me to get a sleep. As soon as the door opens and they have their breakfast that's when the carry on fighting begins. Both are mad all day. Sometimes I think Dexy is too rough so I kind of get the shoelaces out to divert him. Got to do what you got to do. They love the laces out of all the toys they have.

[Lilith]

Bless her! She sounds to be settling so well!

Come to think of it, all my three are miaowers! Mousey tends to have the 'mad Mousey moment' or three, galloping about in the middle of the night to tell me that she's used her tray, or simply that she's THERE. Molly stamps all over me in bed, cheerily trilling; Emily comes running and roaring 'WARRRRR!' and needs a BIG fuss every time she catches sight of me.

Lol Suelily, never a dull moment eh? Reminds me of the time one of my Siamese litters took some time out from sailing merrily round their 'nursery' and took advantage of me falling asleep one afternoon and went up to the spare room to do a bit of unofficial wallpaper stripping...

Cats eh?

[suelily]

Lol wallpaper stripping. Lily keeps pulling at the carpet at the door when in living room at night. If I trim it anymore I will have a baldy bit. Any ideas that have been tried, tested and worked Lilith?

[Lilith]

Lol wallpaper stripping. Lily keeps pulling at the carpet at the door when in living room at night. If I trim it anymore I will have a baldy bit. Any ideas that have been tried, tested and worked Lilith?

Oh dear. Sorry. No. And they can be incredibly creative!

I'm afraid I've had to resign myself to the boho shabby chic school of decor; my interior design icons are Hannah Hauxwell and Quentin Crisp and the house motto regarding scratched furniture and chipped and frayed everything: 'Well, it's got character' ...

I only woke to hear those kittens coming downstairs and arguing at the tops of their voices about bits of wallpaper -

'Mewwwww!' (Muffled. Carrying a mouthful of wallpaper.)

'My mouse!' (It was sort of furry wallpaper.)

'NO! MY mouse!'

[Crewella]

I did see someone on here suggest putting down one of those clear plastic 'carpet protector' mats over the problem area by the door, for a while at least, to break the habit.

[Lilith]

Ah. I think that might have been me - only I forgot

I think I recommended that to someone whose cat was making a mess next to the door, but I do confess, although I ought to have tried it myself after Molly (grrrr!) ripped 7 bells out of the front room carpet every time I went up to the supermarket (had to WRESTLE the front door open every time I returned) I never did, having been educated for decades by cats who LIKED to see the threadbare carpet in front of every door and the stuffing gently falling out of every chair (my precious art deco armchair is down to the springs in places - and I've re-upholstered it twice!)

I'm afraid I'm beyond redemption when it comes to cats and being houseproud

[Crewella]

I do believe it WAS you!! That's funny!!

[suelily]

What I have been doing now is putting the shoelaces through the tunnel of the cat scratcher then slide the lace under the door then close door and pull laces which pulls the scratcher over the bit she keeps clawing. Its one of those scratchers from Pets at home that is the shape of a referees whistle(if you know what I mean)? Its doesn't move so far so good. The things you need to do.