Cat Chat Feline Forum

Hi,
We adopted two cats from a cat shelter two months ago. The cats had not previously been homed together but the shelter thought they would get on okay as they knew their personalities. At home we kept them in separate rooms for a couple of weeks and then did the gradual introductions with them being able so see each other from a distance etc The problem is that one of the cats has been hostile to the other one since the start and this doesn't seem to be getting any better. Ruby spends the majority of her time in our bedroom as this is her safe room while Tilly is gradually taking over the rest of the house, initially her safe room was the kitchen but she is a confident cat and so now has the run of the rest of the house. At the beginning Ruby would come downstairs with confidence but every time she encounters Tilly she is hissed at and Tilly runs towards her in an aggressive manner, but doesn't actually attacker, so Ruby seems to be getting more nervous about coming out of our bedroom. My concern is that Ruby seems to be becoming increasingly confined to our bedroom and I am not sure how to deal with this. The last few nights we have been locking Tilly into the living room and bringing Ruby downstairs so that she can investigate the rest of the house in safety and also go outside. Today I have locked Tilly in our bedroom and left Ruby in the rest of the house so that they are experiencing each others "territories", I'm not sure if this is the right thing to do. Does anyone have any advice on how best to manage this situation? I'm worried that it has been two months and that this behaviour may be starting to be set. They are both females and Ruby is approximately 3 years old and Tilly between 18 months and two years old. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

Sorry to hear your troubles, I know how it feels. I often find after they get over the initial shock of rehoming, their true characters start to come out after a few months, and it seems you're going through that phase!

To be honest you're doing the right thing at the moment. A bit of scent swapping in the way you're doing won't do any harm, but two months for each of them to adjust to their new environment, and get over the trauma they've been through, and also get used to sharing with a new cat, is not long. Get a couple of feliway diffusers going, and you might also like to try Xylkene or Nutracalm from your vet, to help the Ruby calm down and be a bit more relaxed towards Tilly until she gets to the point that she is happy to at least share a room with her. It's good that she's not actually attacking, and just telling Tilly to back off, so this could be an anxiety thing from Ruby, although some female cats cat be territorial madams! Try to stay calm around them all the time, give each plenty of one to one attention, make sure there are high places where Tilly can get away from Ruby, while still in the same room, so they can learn to be in the same area together.

Some cats never do become friends, some cats would really rather be only cats and just don't get on with any other felines, but usually they can learn to tolerate each other and share space, and tbh quite often this is the best we can hope for.