Unsocialable puss

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Daburts
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Unsocialable puss

Post by Daburts »

Greetings

I have recently rehomed a 4 Year Old Black F called Floss from a family friend

Sadly she seemed to be kept for the most part in a conservatory with previous person

Although outwardly seeming very confident ,Is very uninterested in human interaction & for most part stays on her own

She also displays a fair bit of aggression during play & petting

The strange thing is at night she sleeps on my bed with me n is very cuddly & appreciates petting

Any tips or suggestions
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Kay
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Re: Unsocialable puss

Post by Kay »

I wonder if her confidence on the bed is because you are lying down - she may in the past have had cause to mistrust people in the vertical

Have you tried lying down on the floor and encouraging her to come to you?
Daburts
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Re: Unsocialable puss

Post by Daburts »

Do you know she did come to me when sat on floor once

As far as I knew never been mistreated
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Kay
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Re: Unsocialable puss

Post by Kay »

Perhaps she was accidentally trodden on? Some cats take a long time to lose their wariness after such an episode

It doesn't sound as if she is actually frightened of you, so I expect she'll come round in her own time and meanwhile duvet cat snuggles can be quality time
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lilynmitz
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Re: Unsocialable puss

Post by lilynmitz »

I suspect she was not so much as mistreated as never properly socialised, and doesn't know how to form a close relationship with humans. Her "aggression" during play and petting is more defensive - she's just not used to it and doesn't know how to react, so she's asking you in the only way she knows how to back off a bit.

Give her a bit more time and encouragement to come round at her own pace. The suggestion to meet her at her own level, ie on the floor, is a very good one. I recently took on two very nervous cats and over a few weeks spent hours lying on the floor talking to them. They're soft as grease with me now, and love cuddles, play and laps, but to be honest when I first got them I never thought I'd ever get them to that stage and was happy just to let them do their own thing, so long as they were happy.

So, watch her body language and give her space if she's looking a bit stressed, talk to her gently, A LOT(!), and get down to her level and offer her your hand to sniff, then let her come to you, rather than you forcing yourself on her. When she's getting more used to you, pick her up gently and put her on your lap, but do let her off straight away if she's not comfy. She'll soon learn that way that being handled isn't threatening. Meanwhile, play with her gently with throw toys, things on string, feathers on sticks, anything that keeps your hands away from her (which seems to worry her at the moment) while giving her some positive experiences with you. Give her time, and with patience, she'll get there.
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Jan
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Re: Unsocialable puss

Post by Jan »

Wholeheartedly agree with lilymitz because when we adopted Blackie from my mother, he too was a spiteful, hissy-fit cat who wouldn't interact with anyone, except my mother when she had food on her plate. I believe Mum used to fall over him - and I know she used to tread on him because she was so unsteady on her feet.

Mum was in/out of hospital 3+ years ago due to falls and while it was decided whether Mum could manage at home with a care package, Blackie spent a lot of time in a cattery. During that time we took him back to her house for a week. He behaved so badly the first night that I intended to take him straight back the next day but come the morning, didn't have the heart to do it. In the end, being told that Mum needed to go into a care home, I felt I owed it to her to take him. I did it with a lot of trepidation knowing how he behaved and how he'd shredded Mum's sofa + chairs.

Any cat has to decide for itself when the time is right to trust and plenty of patience may be needed because my own experience is that all's well that has ended well as far as our Blackie is concerned. He can be 'moody' at times, but I've learnt to 'read' his expressions when its time to back off. He'll never be a lap cat (never was), can still be skittish with strangers - but runs away from them now rather than try and scratch them. He has learnt that we don't fall over him, we give him plenty of space, he comes + goes as he likes etc.

Perhaps holding some hand-fed treats will help Floss learn to trust you. We've now got to the point where Blackie will collapse on his side when he sees me and allow me to run my hand lightly over his back - but the tum is definitely out of bounds! He's his own cat and I've learnt to respect that.
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