Cat Chat Feline Forum

Hi.
I have a female cat, Aya, she is about 9 months now. She is MCOx NFC, both parents pedegree, but I don't bother about papers.She is indoor cat.

So, it will be a long story, I'm sorry. I just don't know what is relevant in this situation and what is not. This is my first cat (I had plenty of dogs previously). I'm also sorry for my English, I'm not native, still learning.

So, I got Aya from lovely home whet she was kitten. It was a hard time for me, as my beloved gran died in suffering and I was spending plenty of time on my own, in empty house. The plan was, to have some company and stumulation, as I was very upset. It was working great! She was always making me smile.Transition was easy, she get in love with me and my boyfriend straight away. Extremely cuddly, loving, quick learner. I manage to convert her from her dry only food, to wet (jelly cheap one) and then for quality no-grain food in few months. She was eating like a horse and growing fast. Now she is about 5,5kg. I spend hours and hours playing with her, creatng new toys, teaching her to not scratch me in play, I've builded her hudge scraching post. She loves it. She was sleeping on my neck, doing bisquits on my chest, purring and cuddling most of the time whe she was not playing or eating. She was in love with my boyfriend as well, sharing her attention equaly between us. She was even more cuddly, when I was in pain, heating up y belly with her body and constantly licking me. It was heaven.

Her inteligence is amazing. She is always coming when her name is mentioned, she loves to do anything me or my man are doing, trying to copy anything we are up to (even crafts, chasing brush, cleaning house...whatever, she still loves it all). She have learned to open cupboards and is very close to running taps on her own. I've teached her to communicate. When she want something, she is using her paw to show me what is it what she want (most of the time, it's something on my plate... but sometimes is f.e. ceiling lamp... . When I'm doing my crafts and she is getting to excited and causung me probems, I'm gently tapping her forehead, when what she is doing is not acceptable. She is stopping it, as she now that few more taps, and I'll put her down on the floor. I've teached her to play fetch, and she is great with it.

After my gran died, I had to do few 5-6 days trips to sort out some family problems. When I was back, she was always greeting me and becoming herself in few hours. Two months ago, I had to go away again, for a week. During this time, she refused to eat for my boyfriend for two days. Through phone I asked my boyfriend to copy exactly my morning routine with her and feeding, and it worked. She started to eat again, but only dry food. When I was back, she was a bit aloof, but still cuddling me time to time. Then she get her first heat. She is not spayed, I was considering breeding her, once or twice, as i wanted another cat, and she is very unique personality and colour.

Heat was not so bad as Ive expected. She was singing lots, and she got really obsessed with my boyfriend (I assume because he is male...). I started reading, and we decided to try akupressure to relive her. It worked. In two days heat was finished, she calmed down. We were doing akupressure first-me, next time-my boyfriend, as I was worrying about her obsession for my boyfriend. I will be honest, she wanted to make a love to him...all the time. Never with me. During acupressure sessions she was very obidient, and after, she was licking my hands and rolling around. But, when my man was performing it, she was becoming a bit agressive after it, scraching him and biting, but still seems really enjoying it. I've read, that cat are having a bit agressive behaviours during inrercurse, so we didn't worry about it to much.

So heat finished, she is calm and eating normally her wet food and her cooked meat. She start to playing again, bringing he her toys and chasing me, when she is in a mood for playing. I'm feeding her again and during feeding she accept my touch and petting. She still enjoy doing crafts with me, or walking around a house, observing. She still loves my boyfriend, cuddling him, sleeping with him, on his side of bed. But I can't touch her! She is not interested in any form of petting or cuddling with me. If I will start touching her, she will just walk away. She is not greeting me anymore. When I'm home, on my own, most of the time she is waiting for my boyfriend, in the door. When she is getting bored, she is coming to sit with me, but always in distance. She will come to me to ask for food or for cleaning litter trays or for play, but that's it. We can play for hours, then I will feed her and she will go into grooming herself, but she will not come to me. Before heat, if I've started to blink to her (J.Galaxy "I love u") she will do this sweet birdy noise and she will run to cuddle my face. Now, its not working at all. She is not even blinking back to me. Just starring in my eyes. She will just sit and observe me.

This situation is like this for longer that month now. I really miss her. I miss her purring and my heart is broken, while looking at how she enjoy cuddles with my boyfriend. I'm still thinking what have I done wrong. But when I touch her, she is not scared. She looks disquasted. Her body language is exacty the same, like when long time ago she smell rotten meat. I'm not using any new perfumes of toiletries, if u interested.

I'm worry that I've lost her forever.

I'm trying to act, like nothing happened. I still pick her up from the floor and cuddle her, and she is accepting it. She will come and sit on my lap, if I'm giving her her favourite snacks. But as soon as its finished, she will run away. I don't know what else I cat do...

Anyone every seem something like this? What I can do?

Cats are independent. Mayby your overpowering her. It all sounds a bit intense to me. To the point of being obsessive. Just leave her be and let her come to you when she wants.

Thank u for a reply, but I'm not sure if your advice is relevant. My behaviour didn't change, since I have her. I didn't get more or less "obsessed". If I'm thinking about it, I actually need to say, that I'm not having so much time for her, like when she was a kitten. So rather less "obsessed" than more.

I'm looking for people, who, like me, are actually trying to undersnand their pet behaviour and emotions. Not the one who like to judge accroding to their mood.

Oh I'm by no means judging you. Just giving my opinion which can be ignored if you wish. The good thing about this forum is you will get different opinions which is what its all about. Relevant or not. I'm sure you,l find some advice that your happy with. When I've asked advice I get all different opinions which I find helpful and I value all advice. I just feel that you may be focusing too much instead of letting her just be a cat. Give her space. But feel free to ignore my opinion if it doesn't suit.

The first question I always ask everyone is.... why not neuter your cat? That usually calms them down a lot and makes them a lot happier.

What country are you in?

You will probably find it is her hormones and neutering her may help - not just her behaviour, but there are health benefits to neutering.

Hi.
Thank u all.
As Ive mentioned above, I was considering breeding her, for a simple reason that I want to keep one or two kittens. I will be worry to traumatise her with stranger-kitten coming to her home... But it all depends if I will find apprpriate partner for her. She is still too young to breed, anyway.
In meantime, I'm trying to uderstand, what really happened in here, with such a change of behaviour. If I will decide to breed her, I will have to cope with this rejection for a while and I would like to modify it if possible.

There is no guarantee that she will get on with her own kittens as they grow older. I've come across many mother/offspring relationships that simply didn't work. And for the one or two kittens that you keep, there will be 5 or more seeking homes in an already difficult situation with rescues overflowing with unwanted cats, so please reconsider this. There are so many health and behaviour reasons for getting them spayed, and not one for not doing so. A well chosen cat or kitten from a rescue is just as likely to be a good companion for her.

Why her attitude towards you has changed recently is harder to gauge. The fact that she's still behaving like her old self with your boyfriend suggests there's no underlying health issues, but you may have unwittingly done (or still be doing) something that makes her anxious about your presence, which is why she's steering clear. It could be something as simple as the way you smell, ie have you been using new perfume, hand cream, face cream, washing powder, shampoo, hair treatments etc? Their sense of smell is extremely sensitive, and my two hate one or two of my handcreams and avoid me till the smell has worn off.

Alternatively, are you more tense or upset than usual at the moment? Cats can also pick up on that, and steer clear, as in their mind it might mean you are going to behave in a way which, to them, is unpredictable and therefore slightly threatening.

I would just step back a little, give her space, but gradually work on rebuilding your relationship with her from scratch (excuse the pun!). Spend time talking very gently to her, with your head at her level (but not right next to her!), turning your eyes away from time to time, and also doing the blinky-eyes routine as you were before. Offer her treats on an extended hand, and let her head rub your hand, and gently stroke her cheeks. Play with her gently with toys that keep your hands away from her, ie with feathers on a wand, toys on string etc, so that she gradually associates you with nice things again.

Basically, just work on building her trust again the way you would with a feral kitten. And give it plenty of time - don't expect things to work out in your timescale - you can't dictate how long this will take, as we never really know what's going on in their heads. But really, don't take this personally. Relax and enjoy having her around and enjoy what contact she feels comfortable giving you. I'm sure things will get better with time and patience. Cats are complicated little creatures, and we just have to feel grateful that they're prepared to spend their lives with us great big noisy smelly galumphing idiotic humans!

Thank u, Lilynmitz. That is very helpful.
As I've mentioned above, I'm not using any diffeent toiletries.
Your suggestions are very helpful, and since I have this problem I was doing most of it. In play she dont mind my hands at all. She will bring a toys and put them on my feets and if I will pretend to ingone it, she will grab my hand and put on a toy. I did what u said about looking to her eyes and blinking, and then looking somwhere else... and she run to me to lick my face. I think she thinks I've ignored her... but it works. Thank u.
She is slowly becoming herself. Yesterday she cuddled me and demanded kisses and gave me her funny face hugs. And in nighttime she cuddled me as well, purring and grabbing my hands to stroke her belly.

About spying, I totally agree with your point of view and I feel really sorry for all left over animals. Most of my (one now) dogs I took from the street. They were best dogs in the world. I've never had a pure breed animal at home before.

But with Aya is different. I'm allergic to cats (very strong reaction...unberable) and I never consider one, until my friend took me to her house. She is having two cats: Norvegian Foest and Maine Coon. That's Aya parents. They are both pure breed, registered and so on. I've neve even sneez around them. Thats why I have her. And don't worry, if I will suddenly start sneezing (impossible...she was sleeping on my face most of her life) I will never get rid of her anyway. That is main reason I want her to have kittens.
Nothing to worry also about finding good families for a babies. She is very unusuall and pedegree, so I will demand good price for them, to make sure that people who want a babie will have a money for quality food and vet bills. The most important is for me to make sure they will not go to breeders, for somebody to make a money on them (they will have a ponential...sadly), so I will not give them away, untill I will make sure they are not money-making breeders. I have few families who are asking for her babies already. Aya's mum hav 4 litters, now she is spayed. Every time she had 3-4 kittens. As genetics is genetics, I don't think Aya will have 7 kittens as her first litter... May happen, I know. But it will be highly unexpected.

In my opinion animals should be expensive to buy, so people who cant't afford them... will not afford them. I assume also, If u have a cat who cost u a lot, u will not let him run on the street and be hit by a car, u will not let him eat rubbish food so he will die for deseases and u will not let him breed with ferals and moggies. It's money orientated wolrd. To win with it and end up cruelty with animals, we should use a money as weapon.

I feel really sorry for animals who are already on this world and in shelter. What is worrying me, that taking animal from a shelter is very easy and plenty of them (thanks god they are spayed) are still not looked after at ther new home because lack of money and commitement. Knowing that shelters are available is also not good. People are taking kitties and puppies home, and when they get bored or something... they are putting them to shelter without feeling like they are doing something wrong. Easy way. That is animal abuse and it should be punished as a crime.

lilly wrote:She is having two cats: Norvegian Foest and Maine Coon. That's Aya parents. They are both pure breed, registered and so on. I've neve even sneez around them. Thats why I have her. Nothing to worry also about finding good families for a babies. She is very unusuall and pedegree,

Lilly - I hate to say this but your Aya being a cross Maine Coon and Norwegian Forest makes her a mog - a classy and no doubt stunning mog, but.... she is NOT a pedigree and you will not be able to sell the kittens as pedigrees.

You very obviously love your girl a lot - the way you talk about her etc she really does mean a lot to you and it's lovely that you've been able to adopt a cat and not have an allergic reaction; so pleased for you. But from the bottom of my heart I will say please do what is right by your girl and have her spayed before she comes back into heat. This is about Aya's needs

As Lillynmitz has already said - there is no guarantee that a mother cat will bond with her kittens, it happens very often that come a certain age she will start pushing the kittens away and want nothing to do with them - it's natural. Also, unless you're willing to hold on to all those kittens until about 4 months of age when you can have them spayed you have no control over the fact that they may be used for breeding.

I have 2 NFC's (Ava, the girl in my avatar is one of them) and 4 other mogs and all are spayed and have just the most amazing loving personalities. One of my neighbours has 6 show Maine Coon's and another has one ex show Maine Coon - I can totally appreciate you loving the breeds and would suspect that Aya -as a mix of those two - is absolutely stunning. Why not get your girl spayed, and when the time comes contact the MC and NFC rescues and see if they have kittens that you could adopt instead. As a breed both are very friendly and I would think that if you get a male kitten you won't have much problem introducing him to Aya when the time comes.

But for now - every season Aya comes into hugely increases the risk of possible pyometria, ovarian cancer and breast cancer.

I know you're not going to like this answer, but I just can't not say something

Fusses to your girl - she sounds absolutely adorable

I'm pleased to hear things seem to be improving between you and Aya, so keep up he good work. She sounds an absolute darling.

I agree with you, too many cats and dogs taken from rescue centres don't end up with the capable, loving homes they deserve. This is your chance to give one of those little animals a really good home. Every kitten bred at home denies one of those recue animals a chance of a happy life. You're obviously great with your animals, so please be one of the rescuing angels rather than someone who adds to the number of kittens needing homes in the world. As Meriad says, you may be able to find a NFC or Maine coon who needs a loving home in a specialist recue who will be a loving companion to Aya, and having her spayed soon will deal with some of her behavioural issues and give her a better chance of a longer and healthier life.

Sadly, paying a lot of money doesn't mean they will get a good home - I contacted a pedigree rescue once for help with a stray Manx cat who we were struggling to home, they dealt with 250 cats a year - at the time the moggie rescue I was fostering for dealt with 80! Sadly long haired breeds end up in rescue most, because people go off their looks and don't keep up with the grooming.

As Ria says, your cat is a moggy, despite having two pedigree parents, so no reputable breeder will let you use their male as a stud, and there are no guarantees that you won't be allergic to the kittens, and just because her mum had a certain amount of kittens doesn't guarantee how many she will have, that is nothing to do with genetics. It's also not common for rescue cats to not be looked after, we are quite strict as to where our animals go, as they have already been let down once.