Very nervous rescue kittens

[LivCP]

Hi guys this seems like a great forum and I was wondering if I could have a little advice!
My boyfriend and I recently (about 8 weeks ago) adopted two rescue kittens (sisters), who are now around 6 months old. We think they were stray originally and were at Celia Hammond for a few months before we adopted them. When we first got them they were very scared and hid under the sofa for a while.
They now both come out and play and will happily come into a room we are in it. One of them (Gertie) has recently started to butt her head against your legs and lets you stroke her a little and will sometimes jump up on the sofa next to you, but definitely won't be picked up and is still pretty nervous.
The other one (Ethel) still won't let you anywhere near her - if you go to try and stroke her she flinches away. She also had a bout of cat flu with a sore eye - there was no way we could get her in the carrier so had to get the vert to visit our home!
I am concerned she has been traumatised and will never let us touch her and that they will both always remain nervous of us - has anyone else had an experience like this and has any advice on how to make them less nervous? I am also keen to start letting them out soon but don't want to do this when they still seem so nervous!
Any advice or re-assurance would be very appreciated - thank you so much!

[GillianH]

You will need to be very patient with both kittens and let them come to you. Eventually they will. I adopted a cat who was 18 months old and who hid under the bed in our spare room for 2 weeks when he first got him, only coming out at night when we were in bed. Even now 11 years later I cannot pick him up but he is otherwise loving and affectionate and will come to me if I call him. As for letting them out - I wouldn't do that yet. Let them become more accustomed to you first and then only let them out supervised. Let us know how you get on

[bobster38]

Hi
Like Gillian says, patience is the key. I adopted 2 rescue cats (brother and sister) in 2012, the shelter said the boy would never be a cat to stroke. The girl came around quite quickly and the other took 3 months before I could stroke him. They used to sleep together and I stroked the tamer one and then continued the stroke up on to the wilder one. Don't think he knew what happened the first time around.... now he's still occasionally skittish but will happily plop and sleep on my belly most times... The big thing is not to push it.... she'll come around at some point

Regarding letting them out, I think its advised to keep them in for 5 weeks depending on the cat, all mine have a minimum of 5 weeks before going out. Always a scarey moment when you do but when they plop back in you know you are pretty much doing OK.

The two in question the day after I adopted them https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vvn9C3TwNDY Now he's grown up to be the cat on my profile picture....

[lilynmitz]

Definitely keep them in until they're much better socialised, particularly the nervous one, as she may just run off if she doesn't see you, and your house as her safe place. I've recently taken on two young rescue cats (a few months apart)', who spent the first few weeks hiding under the bed. I spent ages lying on the floor just talking to them quietly, letting them sniff my fingers, offering treats etc, gentle strokes to the face if they would allow it. The main thing was to give them plenty of time to learn that I was not a threat to them and a safe person to be around. One is now a complete tart, although a bit nervous outside, and the other is absolutely fine with us but scared to death of nearly everyone else, unless they're quiet and make no sudden movements, and eventually he'll come out and join us, but otherwise his default setting is under the bed. We're just letting him take it all at his own pace, with some gentle encouragement, and he'll get there eventually. Meanwhile he's now a very happy, cuddly and playful little fella most of the time.

Your scaredy puss may get also some confidence from watching you interact with the other bolder one, ours certainly did. Try gentle playing with the scared puss as well, but keeping your hands away (which she will find a bit scary for a while), eg use feathers in a wand, toys on strings, rolled up bits of paper etc, so she can learn to associate you with good things. The main thing is to be very gentle with them at the moment, be very patient (you can't rush these things, they take as long as they take!), and give them time to learn that you're ok people to be with. You never know what their past experiences were, and for all you know your scaredy puss has good reason not to trust humans. It's up to you to help her heal,

[Mayday21]

Seasoned carers such as Lillynmitz, Crewella, Bobbysgirl & others give great advice. Jezebell's a scaredy cat but does come out from under the bed for me to talk & stroke her. I've also taken on fostering 2 more as Little Paws were full. They were surrendered as people were moving & couldn't take them & had to be gone a sap! A boy who's about 8mths wasn't neutered but was last week. Charcoal/white I've named TC (Top Cat) & the girl was named Snowflake white blue eyes. TC. A sweetie, trying to befriend Jezebel but she & Snow a bit agro with each other. They had a spat this am not too bad more voicing than fighting. Hope settles. Vivian

[Crewella]

In my experience they will probably always be 'scaredy' cats with strangers, but will eventually get used to you and learn to trust you. It's slightly harder with two, as to some degree they will fulfil each other's social needs, but Lilynmitz's suggestion of concentrating on the bolder one is good - the shyer one will learn from that. Paience and time spent with them is the way forward - good luck.

[LivCP]

Thanks so much for your advice everyone!

They are still in but I'm thinking about letting them out briefly before dinner soon as they seem generally happy at home and it's getting a little warmer. Will make sure I let them out before food and will go with them - hopefully they wont want to go far anyway! I feel bad for keeping them in as they look out of the back door quite a bit and Gertie is a bit too interested when I got out the front door now (I don't want to let them out the front of the house so trying to discourage this).

The issue with Ethel still remains though. With Gertie, you can pretty much stroke her whenever you want now and even pick her up for a few seconds to move her etc without her freaking out. She is very affectionate but still a little nervous sometimes. Whilst they both seem happy and will follow us around/sit near us and watch what we're doing, Ethel still wont let us touch her at all! I've read lots of advice columns and none seem to address this issue. She will sit near us and let sniff your hand if you put it out to her but that is the limit to her interaction, so she doesn't seem scared of being near us. If you try to touch her she will flinch and jump away (although not run and hide, just move away from you) and sometimes even hisses, but not very often. Shall I just accept that this is her personality and she is generally happy the rest of the time and she may or may not come round in time? I just don't want her to be afraid of us though and really feel for her! Have tried feliway/rescue remedy etc.

I know she is affectionate with her sister and got two so they would be able to look after each other, so happy if that is the reason she doesn't want us to touch her, but my gut feeling is that this isn't the reason.

I am thinking that the visit we had from the vet (she had cat flu and a sore eye as a result of this) might have really freaked her out as he had to catch her and maybe that is why she is so distrustful?

Any advice on this would be amazing and if you think I should wait longer before letting them out please say.

Thanks,
Olivia

[Lilith]

Hi, I have a little girl snuggled up next to me - who took four years to come to this stage. She was passed on to me as an adolescent from owners who couldn't cope with her aggression, and she can still be aggressive and standoffish, but, when not, how loving and possessive!

I think it is sometimes in cats' characters (and maybe background too; I don't know much about this one's early life) to not relate easily to human contact, but give them time and they do come round. A case of love them and leave them alone.

Ethel's probably centred on Gertie for companionship at the moment but as they grow older this may well change and she'll find time for you. Good luck with them and hope Ethel starts to appreciate you; I'm sure she will

[meriad]

Olivia, I'm about to head off for the day (I'm at work) so can't reply very long... but definitely don't let them out just before dinner for the first time.

Best time is when you have the whole weekend (or two other days) free and then you let them out Saturday morning before breakfast, give them a few minutes; call them back in, give them a small treat, let them go out again, a bit longer, then back in another treat, then out again - you get the idea. After four / five shorter goings out give them their breakfast and then bit by bit just let them explore the outside for longer stretches.

Take your cue from the girls... if they seem very nervy when outside and not sure where to run if something scares them, then back inside for them

I'll try (and remember) to reply longer tomorrow

[Ruth]

Hi there, please don't even think of letting them outside yet.
6 months would be the earliest a confident, good sized kitten should be going outside, a timid kitten wouldn't be able to cope with all the stimuli outside.
Carry on with what you are doing, plenty of play etc.
Have you tried gaining confidence by hand feeding treats like chicken or fish?
From what you say great progress has already been made with them, give them both another couple of months and reassess the situation.
When you do eventually let them out do it when you are home for the day so the door can be left open and don't feed them before they go exploring, a hungry cat will stay much closer to home.
Good luck.