New cat integration woes! help!

[Lullakitten]

Hi all cat lovers! Quite new to this forum as a registered user, but have used it loads for advice, help and general cat chat. It certainly showed me that I'm not the only bonkers cat lover.

I am looking for advice.... I have been adopted by a stray Tom cat, who has worked his way in by sha **ing my very friendly resident kitten, getting her pregnant and has now got his beautiful smokey black feet well under the table!!!!

It was a difficult decision about what to do, as I'm looking after my mother's cat after she had to go into a home, and I rescued and adopted the resident kitten to keep her company after my other cats (both 19 years old) had to be put to sleep within a few months of each other due to long standing, age related, health issues)

Have had the kitten neutered (she had to have an abortion ... sigh) and the Tom cat got his Crown Jewels removed so that he could move in and live happily ever after within my happy and peaceful feline home.

Unfortunately, Smokey (AKA Lover Boy) has turned into a proper bully now he's got his confidence back, and seems to think that he's the Top Cat! Despite going through the usual integration plan (keeping them separate, scent swapping etc) he's turned into a terror! My mother's cat now lives exclusively upstairs and is constantly on edge, my female kitten will only tolerate his boisterous behaviour for so long, and I'm constantly having to banish him to his room (dining room) or outside.

I only got him castrated 3 weeks ago, will he calm down soon? Not sure my previously harmonious feline home can cope with the stress for much longer.... In fact, am actively looking to rehome him, as I think he is more suited to an only cat household.

Any advice would be welcome ... Help!!!

[Crewella]

I can't promise, but I've had several tomcats neutered and I believe it can take up to 6 weeks for their hormones to calm down fully. Personally, I'd keep them all apart as much as you can for the next couple of weeks so as to try to stop any habitual behaviours from forming in the way they all behave with each oher whilst he's still 'hormonal'. Then try introductions again. Good luck!

[meriad]

I so feel your pain having been in a very similar position not that long ago....http://www.catchat.org/felineforum/view ... =13&t=4311

What does Smokey do to make you say that he's a bully? In my case with Bobby I just had to admit that he is a much happier cat on his own. But same as with Smokey I don't know if that would be any different had he had more time for his hormones to settle. It certainly didn't help Bobby that I have three other male cats in the house and they were really bugging him.

There are things you can try to enforce to Smokey that you are the top cat and not him.... depending on what he's doing, a firm, clear and fairly loud NO hopefully will stop him. Also hissing at him may work. Years back with my Monty I needed to resort to small 2ml syringes filled with water that I used to squirt in his general direction to stop him from swiping at Harry (I never squirted directly at him, always in his direction and above him) and for me that water squirting actually was the most useful (but I know not everyone agrees with it).

Also things like Feliway or Pet Remedy diffusers may help; both cheaper online but quicker to buy from a vet / Pets at Home
http://www.feliway.com/uk
http://www.petremedy.co.uk/

Bach rescue drops can possibly also help - either about 8 drops in the drinking water, replaced every day or 8 drops in the palm of your hand, press the two palms together and then gently rub your hands over the ears of the cats (and I'd do it to all, it won't harm).
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Bach-Pet-Rescue ... pet+remedy

The pet one is more expensive and in the past I've always used the regular human one which is loads cheaper

But saying all this, if you do think rehoming is the better option and if you haven't already, maybe contact your local rescues and ask them for help with a direct rehoming, ie he stays with you until a home is found but they do a home check and an adoption fee would apply to the new owner.

It's a hard one, it really is - if only we could get them to understand that if they behave they can stay!

Good luck