Our cat was a feral kitten - approximately 6 weeks when we adopted him and is now about 3 years old. My husband works from home and the cat 'imprinted' him as his mum from the very beginning. He shows me very little affection, which I can live with (even though I'm the cat lover) but he has bitten me, sometimes seriously - without any prior warning. Obviously, I'm aware of his particular indicators i.e swishing tail, ears back etc. but the last two bites came out of the blue and caught me completely unaware and one was so serious I had to have a course of antibiotics.
He knows he's in the wrong immediately. Our punishment (after lots of cursing and chucking things after him) is not to acknowledge him apart from feeding him.
He know he's been evil and skulks about me trying to get some notice but he really goes into decline when my husband refuses to give him any attention for a day or two after an 'incident'. He mews piteously, collapses in a submissive manner, paws him until I give in and say, go on - pet him. Grrr.
I'm also the one that plays with him, makes new toys, gives him lot of stimulation etc. and also the first to forgive; if it wasn't for me - the cat would have been rehomed after the last bite.
Any suggestions?
Thanks
Biting
Re: Biting
Thank you - everything you say does make sense.
We do try not to 'humanise' his behaviour but he's definitely shamefaced after an incident.
The last two bites (including the really serious one) were both on my left hand and took place at night whilst I was brushing my teeth - I'm right handed.
My husband and I are lucky enough to have separate bathrooms and the cat loves our different routines - one common denominator is he loves playing by (or actually in) the sink when the tap's on; swiping water to drink direct, chasing it down the plughole, stalking around the edge etc.
I didn't notice any indicators of aggressive behaviour the last two times because I was probably distracted. He's no longer allowed in the bathroom with me. However, there have been many other instances in other situations e.g. he was on cage rest after a serious accident (a very long story) and whilst we were changing his litter, rearranging his bedding and basically giving some supervised time out of the cage my husband was giving him some good natured teasing - which he loved until ... he suddenly sank his teeth into my forearm - he was hanging off it by his teeth. I couldn't manhandle him off because of his injury and had to yell until he released. His initial issue was with my husband but he took it out on me!
He was like this before his accident.
Many thanks for your previous insight and will be very grateful for any more!
Kind regards
Mrs B
We do try not to 'humanise' his behaviour but he's definitely shamefaced after an incident.
The last two bites (including the really serious one) were both on my left hand and took place at night whilst I was brushing my teeth - I'm right handed.
My husband and I are lucky enough to have separate bathrooms and the cat loves our different routines - one common denominator is he loves playing by (or actually in) the sink when the tap's on; swiping water to drink direct, chasing it down the plughole, stalking around the edge etc.
I didn't notice any indicators of aggressive behaviour the last two times because I was probably distracted. He's no longer allowed in the bathroom with me. However, there have been many other instances in other situations e.g. he was on cage rest after a serious accident (a very long story) and whilst we were changing his litter, rearranging his bedding and basically giving some supervised time out of the cage my husband was giving him some good natured teasing - which he loved until ... he suddenly sank his teeth into my forearm - he was hanging off it by his teeth. I couldn't manhandle him off because of his injury and had to yell until he released. His initial issue was with my husband but he took it out on me!
He was like this before his accident.
Many thanks for your previous insight and will be very grateful for any more!
Kind regards
Mrs B
Re: Biting
Sorry but you lost my attention on this story when I read you throw things at him! No cat is worthy of that kind of punishment and will not help the matter. Cats are extremely highly strung and nervous creatures. It's like humans, they will retaliate with people they are not comfortable with and is a defense mechanism. Sounds like your behaviour around him needs to change and may not be 100% down to the cat.
Re: Biting
It sounds to me that your cat doesn't understand playing and social interaction. I have adopted a feral cat who has only learned to be petted because he has now watched my domestic cats being petted, and has gotten curious as to what this is all about. I need to be careful around him still, however, because he will try to "pet" me back -- which of course means raking me with a claw.
Maybe you and your husband need to accept that this cat can't be teased or played with like a cat who has learned limits from birth and who has suffered serious accidents while young. He might think biting is something he must do to protect himself. His instincts for pouncing and gripping with his teeth might be more acute than a typical domestic cat, for reasons of survival. You think the cat loves "playing" at the sink with the running water, but in his mind this might be a much more intensely selfish, survival oriented activity. The cat may view you as a rival. Maybe his instincts are to try to get rid of you, drive you out of the territory. It's possible the cat dislikes women. (I have a cat who dislikes men.) Maybe you inadvertantly were part of something long ago that causes him to associate you with a threat.
I disagree with some of the above comments. My experience of cats is that they have very long memories -- too long, actually. If they have a trauma, or discover a way to control you, they will replay that over and over. I actually think it is understandable that your response to being painfully injured by the cat has been anger and immediate retaliation, but I don't think it is going to protect you from further biting, and might make it worse. It is nice in one way that your husband and the cat have bonded, and that you are so sympathetic to the cat, but I think you need real protection from the unpredictable assaults of a strong animal. Antibiotics are not something you should be taking regularly. The vet and local cat organizations might have some answers for you short of finding the cat another home, but I would not live with a cat who repeatedly gave me serious injuries.
Maybe you and your husband need to accept that this cat can't be teased or played with like a cat who has learned limits from birth and who has suffered serious accidents while young. He might think biting is something he must do to protect himself. His instincts for pouncing and gripping with his teeth might be more acute than a typical domestic cat, for reasons of survival. You think the cat loves "playing" at the sink with the running water, but in his mind this might be a much more intensely selfish, survival oriented activity. The cat may view you as a rival. Maybe his instincts are to try to get rid of you, drive you out of the territory. It's possible the cat dislikes women. (I have a cat who dislikes men.) Maybe you inadvertantly were part of something long ago that causes him to associate you with a threat.
I disagree with some of the above comments. My experience of cats is that they have very long memories -- too long, actually. If they have a trauma, or discover a way to control you, they will replay that over and over. I actually think it is understandable that your response to being painfully injured by the cat has been anger and immediate retaliation, but I don't think it is going to protect you from further biting, and might make it worse. It is nice in one way that your husband and the cat have bonded, and that you are so sympathetic to the cat, but I think you need real protection from the unpredictable assaults of a strong animal. Antibiotics are not something you should be taking regularly. The vet and local cat organizations might have some answers for you short of finding the cat another home, but I would not live with a cat who repeatedly gave me serious injuries.
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Crewella
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Re: Biting
I agree that, in order to work, any attempt at training a cat has to be done almost at the moment of the behaviour. You might feel that the cat is 'shame-faced' but actually all that is happening is that the cat knows you are angry and is unhappy about it. The poor cat will have no idea WHY you are angry as it isn't capable of working out the cause and effect in the long term, and it's probable that all you are doing is making the cat feel more stressed and less at ease in the household, and actually making things worse. Cats do have very long memories, but they need to be shown a DIRECT cause and effect by reacting instantly.
You see this with dogs all the time - the dog refuses to come when called, the owner keeps calling ....... and eventually when the dog finally does come up to the owner it gets shouted at and told off, so all it's learning is that it will get told off when it comes! It would, obviously, work much better to reward the dog when it finally does come so that it remembers that it will get a reward for responding to a call. In the same way, I think you need to rethink your whole way of dealing with this cat and reward desirable behaviour with fuss and attention and immediately withdraw when it behaves badly. There is absolutely no point in continuing to ignore the cat after a couple of minutes ..... especially if the cat is then behaving well.
Remember, this is not a 'naughty' cat, it's a cat that was taken away from it's mother too early and before it had properly learned to socialise, and is now stressed and unsure of itself. It needs your help and sympathy.
Having said all that, I know a cat bite is no joke, and bless you for sticking with it. Please don't think I'm not sympathetic, I am. I just think you've not properly understood how to deal with this ..... which you probably knew and is why you came here for help.
You see this with dogs all the time - the dog refuses to come when called, the owner keeps calling ....... and eventually when the dog finally does come up to the owner it gets shouted at and told off, so all it's learning is that it will get told off when it comes! It would, obviously, work much better to reward the dog when it finally does come so that it remembers that it will get a reward for responding to a call. In the same way, I think you need to rethink your whole way of dealing with this cat and reward desirable behaviour with fuss and attention and immediately withdraw when it behaves badly. There is absolutely no point in continuing to ignore the cat after a couple of minutes ..... especially if the cat is then behaving well.
Remember, this is not a 'naughty' cat, it's a cat that was taken away from it's mother too early and before it had properly learned to socialise, and is now stressed and unsure of itself. It needs your help and sympathy.
Having said all that, I know a cat bite is no joke, and bless you for sticking with it. Please don't think I'm not sympathetic, I am. I just think you've not properly understood how to deal with this ..... which you probably knew and is why you came here for help.
Re: Biting
Hi OHWS,
Sorry to have misinterpreted your post. I am quite far from having any authoritative insight in to cat behavior. I have cared for a couple of cats, and that's it, so I certainly should emphasize I put my remarks in that context.
What is troubling me about this story is relying on the hope that the cat's behavior can be changed. The owner has already modified some of her behavior. For the sake of the cat, some of the other human behavior in the house needs yet more modification, and the owner seems perfectly open to hearing this and trying out new instructions and ideas. Hopefully the husband is too.
But it does appear to me that this cat is very territorial and has developed some kind of idea that one of the owners is some kind of threat. The cat allows provocative and intrusive behavior from the husband, even when the cat is injured and caged. Yet the cat attacked the partner merely when the partner was in the same area. Likewise the cat is reported to be no problem when sharing a sink with the husband -- but seriously attacked the partner while sharing a sink with her.
Possibly a cat expert can guide the owners to influencing the cat to different behavior. But I see a good deal at stake here for one of the owners, and there is sometimes a limit to how much animals -- including people -- can change. My mother was an avid horse rider, and she tried to teach me not to show any fear to horses, for my own safety. I finally told her I was afraid of them, didn't know how to hide it, and if my safety depended on looking brave, I felt even more scared. Fortunately, I didn't really like horse riding anyway, so I felt little regret about giving up horse lessons. Obviously a self-described cat lover is going to go the extra mile to avoid giving up a cat, but it is equally important that she be safe in her own home.
Sorry to have misinterpreted your post. I am quite far from having any authoritative insight in to cat behavior. I have cared for a couple of cats, and that's it, so I certainly should emphasize I put my remarks in that context.
What is troubling me about this story is relying on the hope that the cat's behavior can be changed. The owner has already modified some of her behavior. For the sake of the cat, some of the other human behavior in the house needs yet more modification, and the owner seems perfectly open to hearing this and trying out new instructions and ideas. Hopefully the husband is too.
But it does appear to me that this cat is very territorial and has developed some kind of idea that one of the owners is some kind of threat. The cat allows provocative and intrusive behavior from the husband, even when the cat is injured and caged. Yet the cat attacked the partner merely when the partner was in the same area. Likewise the cat is reported to be no problem when sharing a sink with the husband -- but seriously attacked the partner while sharing a sink with her.
Possibly a cat expert can guide the owners to influencing the cat to different behavior. But I see a good deal at stake here for one of the owners, and there is sometimes a limit to how much animals -- including people -- can change. My mother was an avid horse rider, and she tried to teach me not to show any fear to horses, for my own safety. I finally told her I was afraid of them, didn't know how to hide it, and if my safety depended on looking brave, I felt even more scared. Fortunately, I didn't really like horse riding anyway, so I felt little regret about giving up horse lessons. Obviously a self-described cat lover is going to go the extra mile to avoid giving up a cat, but it is equally important that she be safe in her own home.
Re: Biting
emma b- really?? Have you had a sense of humour bypass?
I hope that if you ever have a 6 kg, fully grown cat hanging off your arm by his teeth that you have the grace not to retaliate apart from yelling at him. I still have livid scars from that incident. I came on this forum for advice; not to be admonished in a mumsnet style or made to feel I should be reported the RSPCA. I love my cat and have spend considerable time and money to ensure he's as happy as I can make him. Therefore, I am deleting my profile and logging out of this forum.
OHWS - many thanks for your insight - what I came on this forum for. As you realised, we've learnt to recognise indicators and form distraction techniques.
randall - our cat is a woman hater. He has a definite preference for men (particularly their feet) and I don't think it's because of a previous bad experience with a woman. His mother was feral cat who was persuaded indoors (when heavily pregnant) by a kind neighbour and gave birth in a shoe cupboard. I assume the cat associates the smell of boy feet with comfort and security. He went completely doolally when a male friend with 'challenging' feet came to visit. I can change my behaviour but I can't change my fragrant feet or sex.
Thanks
I hope that if you ever have a 6 kg, fully grown cat hanging off your arm by his teeth that you have the grace not to retaliate apart from yelling at him. I still have livid scars from that incident. I came on this forum for advice; not to be admonished in a mumsnet style or made to feel I should be reported the RSPCA. I love my cat and have spend considerable time and money to ensure he's as happy as I can make him. Therefore, I am deleting my profile and logging out of this forum.
OHWS - many thanks for your insight - what I came on this forum for. As you realised, we've learnt to recognise indicators and form distraction techniques.
randall - our cat is a woman hater. He has a definite preference for men (particularly their feet) and I don't think it's because of a previous bad experience with a woman. His mother was feral cat who was persuaded indoors (when heavily pregnant) by a kind neighbour and gave birth in a shoe cupboard. I assume the cat associates the smell of boy feet with comfort and security. He went completely doolally when a male friend with 'challenging' feet came to visit. I can change my behaviour but I can't change my fragrant feet or sex.
Thanks