Putting my cat to sleep TOMORROW - worried it's not right

[Ruth B]

I think this has affected anyone who has read it, i know that at times i have had tears in my eyes. Knowing you did the right thing doesn't make the pain go away, but at least you know you are suffering the pain not her.

As far as the spiritual side of things goes, i have my own set of believes that really don't belong in any organised religion, I just pick and choose the bits that seem right to me. I believe that animals and people have a spirit, or at least something that makes them them. I have had to have 3 cats pts as an adult (I went with my parents when many of the cats we had during my childhood were pts, I always felt I should be there for them at the end). The first was Katie who had diabetes and at the time we could not manage the timing of insulin injections and after a discussion with the vet decided that we would giver her as good a life as we could for as long as she could go on. The second was her daughter Patch who succommed to a very aggressive cancer in the abdomen. I held them both while the vet did the injection and in both cases I noticed something leave them. Not a mist or anything so substantial, but 'something' went from them. My scientific side tells me I was just subconciously noticing the lack of breathing and heart beat, but I am not convinced.

About 18 months ago we had to have Blue our Ragdoll put to sleep. For him old age had caught up with him, and when I rang in the morning to make the appointment for that evening I somehow knew it was his last trip even though i kept telling my self that a simple course of antibiotics and he would be fine. The vet confirmed what I feared, his body was shutting down. he was breathing and his heart was beating but the light had gone. I didn't notice anything leave him, it was like it had already gone. We got home, cried our eyes out for the evening, and finally went to bed. That was when we discovered that he had been sat in the same place all day on the bed and had developed incontinence, he couldn't be bothered to even move away from the wet patch he had created. For an animal as clean as a cat to sit in their own urine not caring re-inforced what I already knew, we had done the right thing. It didn't stop me crying all the next day and wanting him back.

I will also add another one to this on the spiritual side. The number of times I looked at what Blue would do and thing that Sam, the big black cat we had when I was a kid would have done exactly the same. I am not entirely sure its reincarnation, but it was close enough for me to consider it. May be they both just had the same nature and wanted to be with and please us humans, we can never know but sometimes the possibility can help.

[nanny pamy]

Many years ago I had a poodle. He lived till he was 14 but at the end he went blind , he had lumps on his little head from bumping into things, his back legs went and the vet said hed gone deaf. I used to take him out and carry him in a blanket. When we went to bed hed be crying and whimpering downstairs, obviously frightened so we used to take him up with us. We held on to him as long as we could, he was incontinent but I still wouldn't give in. The vet told me I was being selfish and cruel. But he felt like a little brother to me. In the end we gave in and had him put to sleep. It was heartbreaking. Over the years I've had dreams about him and he's always running and jumping and so happy, like a puppy. I sometimes just suddenly think about him and the fun we had with him but when that happens I don't feel sad now. I get a real happy comforting feeling as though he's behind me telling me he's happy. I truly believe their little spirits live on. They have such pure innocent loving souls that I know they don't just disappear forever. Give yourself time to start to heal. Think of your furry friend as you fall asleep at night. Not the sad part, but of the happy times. Put a picture under your pillow and kiss it each night. Xx

[Grace56]

My late cat, Oscar, who died of kidney failure in 2012, and I had a morning ritual.
He would stand on the top stair and I would go down two steps turn around and kiss him from his head to the tip of his tail. Then I would go down another step or two, so would he and the kissing ritual followed.
This went on all the way down the stairs and every morning.

A few days after he died, I was going down the stairs and I noticed a big, black moth (Oscar wad black) fluttering next to me and every time I stopped the moth would also stop on the wall next to me.

I like to think it was Oscars' spirit in the form of a beautiful moth letting me know that all was well.

[Lilith]

My late cat, Oscar, who died of kidney failure in 2012, and I had a morning ritual.
He would stand on the top stair and I would go down two steps turn around and kiss him from his head to the tip of his tail. Then I would go down another step or two, so would he and the kissing ritual followed.
This went on all the way down the stairs and every morning.

A few days after he died, I was going down the stairs and I noticed a big, black moth (Oscar wad black) fluttering next to me and every time I stopped the moth would also stop on the wall next to me.

I like to think it was Oscars' spirit in the form of a beautiful moth letting me know that all was well.

That is so eerie and beautiful, gives me goosebumps.

I wouldn't put it past him

[Rectangle]

The days have gotten away from me between walking and sleeping. I can’t believe it’s already Wednesday. Sorry to have not replied sooner.

Thanks for sharing that poem, Lilith. I like Yeats. I hope she is in such a place as the one in those lines.
And thank you, RuthB, nanny pamy and Grace56 for sharing your stories of loss and hope.

I was hoping I would dream about my cat, and that I wouldn’t question how she was alive, as has been the case with people from my past who have also died and appeared in my dreams.
But the first time I dreamt of her, she was invisible, and I accepted it like that was how she was going to be now: there but not there.
The second time I dreamt of her, I was on a high bridge and saw her below; I immediately knew that I must be dreaming if she was there, and the dream suddenly became a lucid one where I could control everything. So I flew off the bridge down to her and made her fly up towards me as I descended, but when I got to her, I woke up.

Grace56, I was begging for a sign the other night, and the moment I opened my eyes there was a big moth there on the wall in front of me. It was brownish but with orange, black, and white underwings (my cat’s three colours), which looked almost like cat’s eyes. I searched for it online in the hope it had a name like ‘the cat’s eye moth’ or something, but it didn’t, it’s called an ‘Orange Underwing’. I don’t think it was a sign though, as I get a lot of moths coming in through the window of that room, but I’ve never seen that kind of moth before.

[bobbys girl]

I know I have posted this before, but it seems right to repeat it.

We lost our beautiful lurcher, Katie, to cancer. She was only 10 (no age for a lurcher). Soon after my OH had to go to England on family business. On three occasions I thought I saw something grey out of the corner of my eye. When I turned there was nothing there. At one point I felt I was being watched but my other dog Rosie was outside with the cats.

On his return (feeling a bit daft) I mentioned it to my OH. He said 'Oh that'll be Kate, I asked her to keep an eye on you all'. Neither of us have 'seen' her since, but sometimes Willow will go and sit by Katie's grave and it is not even a cat-friendly perch.

[Mayday21]

Hi Rectangle i've been interstate & on arriving home with a cold which is now an Urti, have just read your post & those of others giving support & comfort. I'm so sorry about Buffy's passing & understand your grief which is individual but still understood. Everyone's thinking of you & will give you heaps of support. Take care & (((Hugs))) Vivian