Major move and marriage to dog owner. Very worried.

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janewton2
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Major move and marriage to dog owner. Very worried.

Post by janewton2 »

I currently live with my mother and my 14 year old, male cat, Tigger. We adopted Tigger when he was 8 weeks old and we are the only people he has had sustained contact with. Tigger is not usually comfortable around house guests. I can tell when he is anxious and interpret his verbal communication well enough, but extended family and friends are clueless with this and generally provoke his fowl mood. He has had brief exposure to small breed dogs during which he gained confidence, but not comfort, in interacting. In approximately one year I will be marrying and moving to a different state for work. My partner is a dog owner. I am not terribly worried about socializing the dog to my cat, but I am deeply worried about my cat making the physical relocation, becoming comfortable and social with my partner and his medium/small breed dog, and potentially grieving the absence of my mother.
Is it humane and feasible to bring my cat along for the move, or should I plead with my mother to keep him?
How might I prepare him for this big transition?
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Jacks
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Re: Major move and marriage to dog owner. Very worried.

Post by Jacks »

I'm not sure what others will say but I would think at 14 years it would be maybe too many shocks at once for Tigger to adjust well, and he would be happier staying in the home he knows, with your mother, if you could arrange it.

Is there no possibility that he can get used to your fiance by carefully managed exposure over the next year? Treats, gentle play, etc? I can see that being in a different state creates difficulty for this. But the thought of a male stranger (generally harder for a cat to cope with than another female, especially if he's used to females), a new environment and a dog all at once... Not saying you couldn't do it, but it will need a lot of careful management and time, and this may be difficult when you've got other things on your mind as well - quite rightly when you're marrying, but Tigger won't understand that.
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lilynmitz
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Re: Major move and marriage to dog owner. Very worried.

Post by lilynmitz »

I'm inclined to agree with Jacks, at his age it's kinder to leave him with your mother, if she can be persuaded.
janewton2
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Re: Major move and marriage to dog owner. Very worried.

Post by janewton2 »

Thank you, both. This is what I needed to hear. I am pretty sure my mother can be persuaded over time. And, Jacks brought up the point of my being in a period of adjustment myself that I hadn't really considered. Thank you, again!
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Hazel
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Re: Major move and marriage to dog owner. Very worried.

Post by Hazel »

Oh I agree, plead with your mother! I left my pug behind 10 years ago when I moved out of home because my mum was retired and owned his brother! It broke my heart to leave my best friend but it was the best thing to do for him and I made do with visiting them often.
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