Cat Chat Feline Forum

Hello everyone!

I am really someone can give me some much needed advice. I love my kitten Arya so much but she's driving me crazy with sleep deprivation! I've tried so many things but I'm starting to feel at a loss as to what to do ;(

I rescued her from an adoption centre at 8 weeks and now she's 4 months. She was a dream to settle in - was very affectionate, loving and happy right from the start. When we first got her, she slept with us in our bed without any trouble. My husband normally wakes up around 3:30am to go to work, and Arya and I would enjoy a sleep in until about 6am or so.

This all changed when I got a new job which required me to wake up at 4:30 three mornings a week. To my dismay, Arya's body clock set to that time almost immediately, so on the days I had off or on the weekend when my husband and I would normally sleep in, she'd be up at around 4, purring loudly, licking our faces, jumping on our chests, doing anything to wake us up.

We then decided to train her to sleep in the lounge room which is right next to our bedroom and it's where she spends most of her time. The first two nights were tough as she would miaow pretty much the whole time, but after that she settled quite well BUT continued to wake up around 4am and start miaowing very loudly. I thought it was a case of being hungry and expecting food around that time (as we normally feed her when we wake up to go to work), so we bought a timed feeder to go off at around 4am. But after she eats, she's at it again with the incessant miaowing.

I've tried incorporating more play time especially before bed but that doesn't seem to be working as well. We're also trying to ignore her when she miaows during the day in hope that she understands that being quiet will get her more positive attention but she's really not getting it I am at my wits end and have no idea what to do anymore.

I initially got her because I am recovering from an illness and she has been such a beautiful companion in my healing journey, but sleep is really important to me and I feel like my health is declining again due to the severe sleep derivation. I cannot imagine parting with her so I am determined to make this work somehow, I just don't know what to do anymore so I am really hoping someone on here can give me the advice that I need.

Thank you so much for listening in on a new mother. I really appreciate it.

Cecilia

What you are doing is the right thing and the hardest part is that you must be strong and ignore her cries, every time you give in and go and see her when she is calling you, you reinforce the behaviour. She has got used to the idea of you getting up at 3.30 - 4.00 and that is what she now expects. Giving her an extra feed with the timed feeder is a good idea as she is still a growing kitten and needs to eat more frequently than an adult cat would. I think part of the problem is that your routine is so variable, maybe using two automatic feeders one set for 4.00 and one set for say 10.00 in the morning (or what ever time she would normally get fed when you have a lie in. That might help stop her associating you getting up with food but might not help with the boredom issue. Make sure she has plenty of balls she can chase around, a windowsill she can access and look out of and she will learn to amuse herself until you get up.

The only other suggestion is the most extreme and might just exacerbate the problem, and that is to get her a companion to play with when you aren't around. If you could afford a second cat then maybe discuss it with your rescue centre and see if they have any suitable youngsters available for fostering. That would at least give you a chance to see if it helped, if it did and you could afford it you could then talk about adopting the second cat permanently, if it didn't then the cat could be returned to the shelter for rehoming elsewhere.

Stay strong and let her know that you are in charge and you decide on what happens when. They are wonderful, loving little animals but they are also incredibly manipulative, with a purr and big eyes that make you forgive anything.

Cecilia - I agree with Ruth; would you consider maybe getting a 2nd kitten to keep Arya company? 4 months is very young and her meowing is her just looking for attention; she won't understand why you're ignoring her. Think about it - yes it may only be the three days that you're working, but on those three days she's on her own for a very long time if you're out at work for a good few hours and then she's locked out the bedroom at night as well - she's just craving and needing company.

Hello Ruth and Meriad!

Thank you so so much for taking the time to read through my post and get back to me with your advice. I can't tell you how much I appreciate you reaching out. It does break my heart to hear her miaowing all the time because I know she just wants to be with me. Every time I'm home, she's immediately on my lap and rubbing her nose against mine. I didn't think I could love a cat this much (she's my very first)!

I wouldn't mind getting a second cat, however, my partner isn't very keen on the idea. To be honest, we have our heart set on a dog (I know that could also pose a tricky situation), but we can't really get another pet till we move to a bigger apartment...

Thank you again for writing to me. You've both been so kind and I'm very grateful. Hopefully I'll navigate through this and continue to be a good mummy to Arya.

Hi Arya does she have any toys to play/cuddle with. when Harper was at the clinic she took to soft cow to sleep with. It was even offered to me when I bought her home but she replaced the cow with TC .. And I know a work colleague's cat has a favourite toy to cuddle when she's at work. Just an idea. AAlso remember she's only a baby & like human babies looking for attention & affection. I've found when mine have woken up early in the past, if you cuddle & chat they settle & ive dropped off again.Vivian

It might just be that she is still a baby. But I'm really sorry to tell you that you may be stuck with this!

Willow is 13, she still has nights when she can't decide if she wants in or out. She has learnt that if she gets her claws under the bedroom door she can literally shake the door off its catch. If that row doesn't wake us then Bob's flying leap onto me and Purdy sitting on OH's head certainly does wake us. Then Bob stands on Gracie who is sleeping between us and world war 3 kicks off.

I hope she does settle down - but you might need to get some ear plugs, just in case.