Oldest Cat Being Pushed Out

[LittlePenBigHeart]

Before we got our kittens, Gizzy was a bit of a spoiled baby. After Bubbles died in February (she didn't even seem to notice), she was our only baby and she lapped up all the attention. That was until we introduced her to our new kittens in July.

Dylan became a mummy's boy almost immediately and he clings to me all the time, deliberately challenging poor Gizzy. If I am spending time with her, he comes over and headbutts her out of the way. She'll bop him, claws out, and he doesn't bat an eyelid! He chases her away, blocks her out and monopolises me completely. Now, obviously I adore my baby boy (I say baby, he's actually nearly 11 months old) but Gizzy is spending almost all her time upstairs. If a bedroom door is open, she'll stay in there. If we close the doors in an attempt to encourage her back down to be with us, she'll stay on the landing. Very occasionally, she'll lie down on the sofa arm next to my husband but that's about it. A minute ago Gizzy tried to come over to see me here on the sofa, Dylan ran over, headbutted her away and then rolled onto his side in front of me, challenging her. When she objected he chased her up the stairs, she chased him back down and she's all puffed up and fluffy and wide-eyed!!!!

Realistically, I know the best thing is to spend more time with her but she's become a lot less affectionate. I could never use the bathroom without her joining me but now she rarely does that. If I sit next to her to give her a fuss, she gets up and walks away. Sometimes when I pick her up now, she growls and snarls and tries to bite me. She never, ever did that before.

Is this all just a case of sibling rivalry/cats being typically territorial? And is there anything I can do to ease the strain on poor Gizzy!?

[Ruth B]

Reading this sounds incredibly familiar.

Tiggy is our golden oldie and Saturn (along with Freyja), the new comer, and like your Dylan he is a real Mummy's boy. He also believes he has the right to be first for everything he wants, and just pushes Tiggy and Freyja out of the way. I think Tiggy has been slightly more gentle with him than your Gizzy was with Dylan, she will give him some really good right hooks, but always with claws in, unfortunately Saturn's attitude is always 'yeah, whatever' he is just so over confident in himself. I don't want to see him injured but I really wish she would give him a good trouncing and let him know she is top cat.

I don't really have any answers except to try and give Gizzy as much time and attention as possible. I tend to have packs of Dreamies hidden away in draws in an attempt to try and give Tiggy the occasional treat, unfortunately I think Saturn can hear a pack of Dreamies being opened about 3 gardens away, he normally turns up after she has had a couple pushing his way in and chasing her off. He normally gets one and then the pack is put away. I have also ended up picking him up when I have fed them something special at meal times so that Tiggy has a chance to enjoy her portion in relative peace. I'm sure Saturn doesn't eat his food he just inhales it.

He also has a habit of lying in doorways or across the top of the stairs preventing Tiggy from going past, again he just gets picked up and tucked under one arm until Tiggy (or Freyja sometimes) has gone past the part he was blocking. It is also a case of sometimes having to back Tiggy up and push Saturn away if he is trying to muscle in and push her out. (We had an incident like that at tea tonight, we were having roast ham and Tiggy got in the hammock near me to try and convince me to giver her some, Saturn came in and kept trying to get in the hammock as well, I had to turf him off half a dozen times during the meal as if I had left alone I know he would have got in and pushed her out. Neither got any of the ham at the time, I'll sort them some out later when they aren't pestering quite as much)

It really is difficult. In my mind Tiggy was here first and is the top cat in the pecking order, however Saturn is like one of those bolshy teenage lads that enjoys antagonising old ladies. It doesn't help that at 2 years old he is now bigger than she is. i can't get rid of him, he is just being a normal young male cat exhibiting laddish behaviour, all I can do is try and keep the peace and give Tiggy as much attention as possible when he isn't around or in places he doesn't normally go (on top of the stereo or china cabinet to name two).

I hope you can work it out, and maybe i can learn some tips if anyone has any other answers. Give Gizzy a good fuss from me.

[Kay]

familiar to me too - my Trigger was forced to retreat when I brought Tosker into the house - I had to resort to making a fuss of Trigger when Tosker was asleep or busy elsewhere

I think it's possible to modify the behaviour a little though - when Trigger only had a few months to live I was determined to give him more attention, and when he was in his favourite place on the top bed of the cat tree I stood guard whenever I could, and forcibly removed Tosker when he tried to climb up the tree and oust Trigger, and after a couple of weeks he stopped trying

and it worked, as Trigger spent 23 hours a day in that bed, and I could access him there whenever I had time - and although Tosker tries to muscle in on Tiffany time, she is bigger and feistier than him, and he knows it

can you create a Gizzy only spot in your house? if you can give it some time she and Dylan will learn that it is her place and that should ease the situation somewhat at least

[Lilith]

Hi and sorry to hear this. That's always the trouble, when another cat joins the household, there's a shift in dynamics and nothing is ever the same. If an older cat deliberately takes, or is made to take, a back seat, it's awful. You feel so guilty. And when they withdraw from you too, that's heartbreaking.

When my youngest, Molly, arrived, this was the case with Mouse, the second eldest, now almost 15. Always a timid cat, she all but disappeared. I had to keep reminding myself that I'd got her. Molly, as I've mentioned before, is a little horror, and time and time again I had to come down on her like a ton of bricks for trying to bully Mouse - but almost 5 years on, Mousey is no longer quite so errm mousy ... incredibly, she's blossomed into a very cheeky and demanding personality and although she may not rule the roost; she certainly rules the upstairs! She'll stare Molly down any day, which is quite an achievement. She even sprawls in MOLLY'S way! And now I have to fuss Moll and say that she's welcome on the bed too! But it's taken a long time.

I agree with the others - special Gizzy for all you're worth and don't allow Dylan to take any liberties; it's a bit rough on Dylan I realise; unfortunately it's feline nature and the law of the jungle to get as far as you can in the pecking order ...oops mixed metaphors there, but although you have to keep letting Dylan realise he's still loved and wanted, something has to be done to make Gizzy feel at home again until she's ready to stand on her own four paws, poor lass.

Aren't cat politics hard work?

All the very very best ; you'll get there

[LittlePenBigHeart]

Thanks so much everyone!

I must admit, it's the weight of the guilt that's hardest to bear. But I gave her some treats earlier and I've been up to give her fussing (worked really well until Dylan realised what was going on. Then he was up the stairs like a shot and Gizzy clammed up the second he came into the room, even though he didn't go anywhere near her). She's still upstairs on the cat tree but she really loved getting the fuss, so that's something. I've also tried getting her to come into the bedroom. She always loved being in there with us overnight but recently Dylan got in as well and now she's lost interest. Maybe we'll try again tonight.

Hopefully, you're all right and lots of extra loving, play and treats away from Dylan will help improve things. Thank you.