Cat Chat Feline Forum

Hi everyone,

2 years ago we adopted four young male cats Frosty, Olaf, Oreo and Kitkat and they are 3-4 years old now. All four are brothers. It wasn't our decision to have FOUR cats. The kittens just left their previous owner who didn't look after them. They were really friendly to each other, they used to sleep together etc.

All our problems started few month ago when we noticed one of them, Oreo, becoming really aggressive and and dominant to the others. He became stronger and more masculine than others. He started chasing Frosty and Olaf as they are fragile, pure white albino cats. Oreo gets along with Kitkat only. To conclude, the situation now is tragic. Olaf looks very stressed, frightened all the time, trying to do everything to avoid Oreo. But the worst thing is that Frosty left our house completely. We think he is in his old house now. Frosty is still visiting us every day, however, he looks all right if he doesn't see Oreo. As soon as they meet each other Frosty stands in a fighting position and makes awful sounds. He makes this moaning sound now even if we try to touch him. We want him to come back as we love all of them so so much.

All the cats are healthy. We took them to the vet. They are fine. They were spayed in very young age. They have an access to the garden whenever they want. Also they have plenty of space in our house. I have tried herbal remedies as catnip, valerian, Feliway. Nothing helps. I am keeping Oreo on Zylkene tablets at the moment. Frosty as well but he still looks very nervous. So I really don't know what to do. Professional cat behaviorist is too expensive for me. Is there anything I could do to keep all of them with us and to have Frosty back? Or would it be better to find a new home for Oreo with no other cats as he wants us just for himself? My heart is braking. If I knew a good person I could trust, I would give him / her Oreo as I have to know how he is doing. However, I am foreign and I don't know many people here. I could accept the fact that Frosty is happier in his old place now. But the thing is that Oreo frightens Olaf, too. So we always have to make sure the cats are separated completely. If we leave the house, we never allow Oreo to stay in one room with the others, we always keep them separated. However, we can't control them when they are outside. And I guess that everything's happening when they are outside and we can't see them. Is here anyone who could advise me please? Thank you in advance.

Ausra

Hi Ausra and welcome

There is a free cat behavioural service on here that you can email for advice - [email protected]

All the best with them, this is a heartbreaking situation. Hopefully other people will be along with more detailed advice but hope this helps for now, good luck!

My first thought is to get Oreo checked by a vet and just make sure everything is alright, I don't know if it is possible to test hormone levels but that might be one thing to look into. While it is very rare it is possible for errors to occur when neutering and some tissue is left behind, which means the animal suffers from higher testosterone levels and hence more masculine build and behaviour than is normal for a neutered tom cat. I don't know what could be done but it would at least be one thing to rule out.

I think you are already coming to the conclusion that it might be best to find Oreo another home is possible as an only cat. I don't know where you are based but is there any charity that runs a direct rehoming scheme, where they just put potential owners in touch after a home check has been done, at least that way you would have a chance to meet the new owners and it might mean you are happier about letting him go and you would know he is being well looked after in the meantime. Unfortunately if the situation is too bad you might be best to try and find a good charity to have him for rehoming. Don't be scared about quizzing the charity people about conditions and visiting them, if they are a good one they will take this as a sign of how much you care about what happens to Oreo, if they are less then good, then you wouldn't want him to go there.

Heartbreaking as it is, if he is causing that type of stress it might be better all round if he did go to another home. I adopted one cat many years ago that caused a lot of problems with the two cats I had at the time. The new cat and the oldest of the two resident cats started to have a dominance struggle marking territory, the younger girl then joined in as the tension was starting to effect her. Stress levels of all members of the household, feline and human, rocketed. In the end I had to contact the charity she came from and ask them to have her back. i was heartbroken and thought i was such a failure as I hadn't been able to make things work. After she was gone, my two settled down almost straight away and I heard afterwards that she had been successfully rehomed as an only cat. It took a lot of reading of cat behaviour books for me to realise just how bad the situation had got and that I had nothing to feel guilty about, letting her go was the best decision I could have made for everyone involved. No matter how much we may want our pets to be friends sometimes they are just incompatible and the best we can do for them is to help find them a home more suited to their temperament. I would like to think it wouldn't come to this with Oreo, but if it does then you can be sure that you have done the best thing for him and for the other three.

I can not help you (I'm new to this cat owner / slave malarkey)...but I just wanted to say, they look beautiful x