What do do with this naughty boy?

[BabyBerlioz]

I have my baby boy Berlioz who is almost 1 and really is the apple of my eye. I went to look at cat boarding in July for our October holiday and I met this wee older lady who the owner of the cattery was trying to re-home, her owner having become terribly ill and hospitalised. She was desperately trying to make friends with me but I was adamant I didn't want another cat.

Well, we went back with B in October and Misty was still there and I just couldn't leave her so I brought her home with us when we returned from holiday, which was a week ago today. She is a wee sweetie. really doesn't ask for much. Plods around, comes to see you for a wee cuddle and off she goes again, has a wee play here and there and is super well behaved. First few days she couldn't abide Berlioz though, hissed at him every time she saw him and he was a nervous wreck. She chased him away from food and wouldn't let him on the cat tree. We've established separate feeding areas and once she seemed to realise there was enough food / love / hidey holes and perches on the act tree for everyone she mellowed out.

Cue Mr Berlioz starting to harass her. No hissing or biting but he stalks her and loves to chase her up and down the stairs. He gets her in a tight spot then won't let her out. If she does into one of the rooms he lies across the threshold and she won't pass him. He swats at her every opportunity he gets and leaps over her at very close range (he is twice her size). Seems to be making her life as miserable as he can.

I have Feliway plugged in and we've tried showing him all the love so he knows he doesn't have to compete for it but that seemed to embolden him, made it worse. I am now trying spraying him with water every time he harasses her. Does anyone have any advice? My mum's friend would love to take her but I am not ready to give up yet. We are already very emotionally attached to her, my daughters and I are all cat daft here, they have every luxury a cat could want and she could live a very happy life if we can get past this nonsense.

[Kay]

Does Berlioz have outdoor access? If not I wonder if harassing your newcomer is a bit of light entertainment for him

Time may help - she might start to fight back, or he might get bored, and if he doesn't actually hurt her she may start to ignore his games.

You can relax a bit knowing there is a back up available, and meanwhile she must be a ton happier with you than stuck in a cattery 24/7

[BabyBerlioz]

Thanks Kay,

They are both indoor cats. This is not a safe are for them to be outdoors. I dream of being able to move somewhere more rural and they can run free. I try and distract him with a toy if I see him fixing to go after her but it doesn't always work. I keep telling myself she must be happier here, that's over 3 months she was stuck in there.

[Sniper1]

I would say just give them more time its a massive change for both of them what I would do though is give your newbie safe time where you separate the two for a few hours a day preferably when your home so she can bond with you and her new environment without harassment then hopefully gain more confidence to stick up for herself

[Marybell]

I would say just give them more time its a massive change for both of them what I would do though is give your newbie safe time where you separate the two for a few hours a day preferably when your home so she can bond with you and her new environment without harassment then hopefully gain more confidence to stick up for herself

Exactly my point

[BabyBerlioz]

I am getting quite demented.

Berlioz's bad behaviour was only escalating and on Thursday he had wee Misty pinned to the floor and was biting her 3 times before 9am.

Since yesterday morning I am trying a new tactic of putting him out in the hall every time he makes an aggressive move towards her. I keep letting him back in after 20 minutes or so and he looks like he is trying, like he wants to go after her but sits back when he sees I am watching but eventually it looks like he just can't help himself and will go after her. Yesterday I had put him out in the hall about 25 times. I say nothing, I don't shout or scold I just pick him up, put him out and shot the door. He HATES it. Sits and cries. Yesterday at about 4pm he came in and think he was utterly exhausted he finally went to sleep, quite nearby Misty on the couch. At one point he woke up walked over to her and gave her a lazy head bunt before going back to where was was and going back to sleep. Wake up this morning and he's just as bad as he was. At night time I am leaving the living room door closed with Misty inside and Berlioz has the hall. 1 litter tray in each space.

Running out of ideas here and am wondering how long to go on with this strategy before I decide it's not working?

[Lilith]

Oh no ...I bet you're pretty exhausted too!

I had meant to say - so glad you were able to bring Misty home, but perhaps this isn't quite the right time to say it ...

I've had experience of cat bullying, but nothing like this, where Misty started out as the bully - but then the worm turned and Berlioz got the upper hand. So, reading this thread, I expected that Misty would give him what for in return and all would calm down. I'm so sorry you're having this trouble with them.

From my own experience I can only say that time and vigilance are the remedies, and that the 'naughty step' strategy is excellent. I'd also use a low hissing 'no!' and the dreaded 'squirty bottle' - a plant mister which I'd squirt under the offender's tail, forcing a bully to back down and literally 'lose face' during a confrontation as they'd naturally whip round to see what the cold wet thing up their backside was. (There are differing opinions about this; it's said that too strong a jet can injure sensitive bits, so don't adjust the jet to a forceful one - a cheap mister isn't that powerful anyway.) Eventually I'd find that just shaking the bottle and growling would stop a naughty cat in its tracks.

I do hope you manage to endure this and that Misty comes to her senses and whops him one back! That was hopeful though, with the head-butt.

Sorry if I've repeated any advice already given and that I can't really add much, but just want to say all the very best and do hope things improve

[BabyBerlioz]

Thanks Lillith,

I had been using a water bottle but was spraying him in the face (on a fine mist) but after a few squirts it didn't bother him any more! I think I will persevere with this exclusion strategy and try the water bottle on the bum if I need to separate them. When he comes back in he does his Maine Coon chirping in what sounds like a grumbling mumbling tone that is absolutely too funny.

I think Berlioz quickly realised that the worst Misty was ever going to do was hiss. She still stops and hisses and spits but he's not at all bothered by that now.

[MarySkater]

I've not been in this situation myself, but I was trying to think of how to create a safe place for Misty. I wondered about getting a pet crate and fitting it with a microchip cat flap so it would let Misty in, but not Berlioz. Maybe cover the crate with blankets to make it a home-cave. However, the only weakness about using coded cat flaps is that if the chasing cat is very close behind the victim, they might get through the flap before it has time to swing closed.

I once had a pair of cats where Shadow was a picky eater who liked to graze intermittently. Robin would hoover up Shadow's food as soon as she wandered away from it. I fitted a crate with a coded flap and made that Shadow's dining room. Robin never figured out how to get into it, so Shadow could take her time over her food.

[Kay]

it could actually be worse, believe it or not, because from what you say Misty isn't really scared of him - if she were she would be off the minute he entered the room rather than staying put even when he comes over to her for a head butt

it could be she is not so bothered by his behaviour as you are - cat dynamics can be more complicated than they appear to us, and these two may have the beginnings of an understanding going on - here's hoping anyway

[BabyBerlioz]

it could actually be worse, believe it or not, because from what you say Misty isn't really scared of him - if she were she would be off the minute he entered the room rather than staying put even when he comes over to her for a head butt

it could be she is not so bothered by his behaviour as you are - cat dynamics can be more complicated than they appear to us, and these two may have the beginnings of an understanding going on - here's hoping anyway

Actually you could be quite right here. I am for sure led by my emotions when it comes to children and animals. I am the most level headed person at all other times but I have been swallowing Tums like there is no tomorrow over this!

Overall actually Misty is thriving, when she came to me her coat was dull and shedding like crazy and now it is starting to come through nice and glossy and she's getting plenty of exercise with playing and running for the hills several times a day!

And also a great idea about making a safe space but not sure where it could actually go as with all the current paraphernalia (two feeding stations, two litter trays as well as a 2 metre high cat tree and all manor of other hidey holes, scratching posts and toys).