Nervous older kitty in noisy home, owner misunderstanding

[MissBlackCat]

I think I may have started a thread summarizing my situation before.
I came to stay with sibling's family. Kitty was hiding a lot and starting to get dangerously thin. We have screaming grandkids under 5 staying here.

Cat adopted me, stays in my room 95% of the time. Now sibling is saying, "I created a monster(needy cat). Is resentful, not compassionate. I ave seen similar issues from family before! Cat is able to be out for a few minutes at a time on my shoulder. Cat went to vet at my urging to be found to have thickened heart muscle/heart failure. I now do meds for her 2x daily. All I can do is keep explaining how kitty was already hiding out and avoiding bedroom of sibling when I arrived. Even the vet check up showed she had improved.

I may have to take owners blame-gup I guess, I don't have another way to explain kitty's situation. I bring her out now once or twice a day, she walked out in the early morning once this week finally with me to see her owner when everyone else was asleep. She stays out less than 5 minutes and returns to my room. Kitty is 12.

[Joe_Danger]

Thank god this cat has you
People don't understand cats, the horror stories of unintentional abuse I hear every time I bring up cats in conversation with others made it so I avoid the subject entirely, it seems people by default abuse cats by not understanding basic things about them and when kindly told that it would be better for the cat if the things that obviously cause it stress and anxiety are eliminated and how to do it, they get defensive, upset and stick to their guns as if you are in the wrong.

The number of times I've been told I'm essentially abusing my cats for getting them neutered or spayed.
The number of times I've been told about people hitting, kicking or yelling at their cats when they "misbehave" even tho most of the time said misbehavior is the cat simply being a cat or doing it due to poor upbringing or lack of communication between the owner and cat.

We met a woman once who has an intact male for over a decade and she appears to love the cat and takes good care of it, but her answer to how she treats him when he gets in a bad mood due to not being fixed? "I just yell at him or kick him"

And don't even get me started on how many people I've talked to and know of who have cats in extremely stressful family environments where the cat is obviously stressed, much like the one you described.

And then there's the people who "give a little chocolate" to their cats and "nothing ever happens", this is insanely common and me explaining chocolate is toxic to cats and even tho nothing happens it's still bad for them only results in me being seen as a weird overly concerned moron.

It's not just the fact that they mistreat the cats, but the fact that they REFUSE to change what makes this all so terrible.
I legit avoid talking cats with people because most people I talk to about cats tell me nothing but abuse stories, especially when it comes to disciplining and punishing their cats, from kicking, hitting, spraying with hoses, locking them up as punishment...it's just insane and these people consider themselves animal lovers.

[booktigger]

I've never thought of it that way Joe, one of my friends thinks I'm too soft with Lucy and thinks if Lucy hits me I should hit her back, but I've found she responds better to love than shouting, plus she hits back! It's not her fault she's had a rubbish home, but I prefer to work with what she is, rather than try to mould her to what I think she should be

[MissBlackCat]

I blow fast and hard at their face right away if they do something wrong. They totally get it immediately.

I now suspect old dog gave kitty too much attention when it's partner was gone for good or maybe bit her.

If it comes into the bedroom, kitty is upset tonight for a long while afraid to go to sleep/rest. It hasnt been in the room before that I know of.....but it answers the reason why the cat won't go back into owners bedroom where dog is 95% 0f the time.

[Sniper1]

Oh my god what horror stories you read your pet is your friend whether its a cat,dog or whatever why would you ever hit, kick, or punish a friend who loves you treat them with kindness and understanding remember they're animals who you chose to place in your environment if you can't or won't adapt to their needs and behaviour as animals simply don't get a pet and then punish it because your too stupid to understand its behaviour