Brother & Sister, fighting

[turneras63]

We have two rescue cats, brother and sister, they are just over three years old and have lived with us (my husband and I) since they were kittens. They have not got on particularly well for about 18 months, but more recently the boy (ginger Jeffrey) is making the girl (tortie Judy) really nervous of entering the room where he is and even coming home at times. When they do 'meet' its horrible, the fights are getting worse and Judy, who is smaller, either runs away or hides under a cupboard or sofa. We have to keep them seperate when they are in the house and with summer now here having doors and windows open is a no no. Jeffrey is determined to get to her (unless he is half asleep!!) and I feel that when I go on holiday in a couple of weeks (my friend comes in several times a day to feed and pet them when we are away), that Jeffrey is going to have to go into a cattery to give Judy a break. When Jeffrey is on his own he is delightful, although his play is rougher than Judy's. We have always had two cats and although there were issues from time to time, all my previous cats have lived together happily. Do you have any advice of how I can get J&J to get on better or am I on a hiding to nothing and one of them is going to have to live somewhere else - that would break my heart ...

[Jacks]

I am thinking that something has happened between them and has promoted a very negative dynamic, which is hard to break without separating them for a time.

I think the idea of putting the boy Jeffrey in a cattery whilst you are away is a very good one. Let your girl Judy regain her confidence and keep the boy in for a few days after you get back, if you can, so she re-establishes herself with you there. Then bring him home but to a bonding room and try introductions, following guides on this forum. Many people have found that when relationships get really bad cats need to have a moratorium and be reintroduced carefully. Having him away for a period, even if it's not long, may help facilitate this process.

Don't worry, you are NOWHERE near having to rehome one of them, but you do need to start taking charge. x

[greenkitty]

I agree I think something must have happened to upset Jeffery, as this sounds like redirected aggression. Is there another cat coming into his territory that's upsetting him, has he had a fright, has anything changed in his home, anything like that?

Have you tried playing with them together, giving treats and fusses when he interacts well with Judy? So he sees her as positive not a negative..