Obsessive carpet pulling following loss of litter mate

[melisajayne]

Hi all, some of you may have read on the bereavement page I lost one of my young cats nearly a month a go to a car accident. Since then, his brother George has begun ripping up the carpet on our stairs. It is mostly in the middle of the night or when we are out at work. He was very close with his brother and got the nickname 'the crazies' because they were a dynamic duo

I have tried many things to help the situation, we have two other cats in the house which he gets on with and plays with, I have now got a feliway diffuser on the go (had it for nearly 2 weeks) to help ease any stress, I am dedicating time in the evening to interact and play with him outside, I have tried a spray on the carpet which is meant to prevent him from doing it. Nothing seems to be working, i suspect it is a behavioural issue, directly linked to the loss of his brother. It is something they use to do as Kittens but we kerbed it with multiple scratching posts and scratching mats. It is very difficult to assert that this is not the thing he should be doing because at 2/3am when he does it all we can do is pick him up and put him on our bed and close the door, where he settles. I feel however, this is making the situation worse as he is learning he gets attention from it.

We currently have cup coasters all up the stairs as an interim solution to prevent him from doing it. I feel for him as he is clearly stressed or upset by the situation, i have done my best not to rub off my grief on him and ensure he is well loved and fussed over.

The thing is, whilst he is seriously damaging our carpet, his welfare means more to me than the furniture and I just want to make things ok for him <3

I don't know what else to do, has anyone else experienced anything similar to this? any tips and advice would be much appreciated!

Thanks

[bobbys girl]

I'm really sorry to hear that. It does sound like it's George's way of dealing with the loss of his brother.

I took my boys to be neutered yesterday. Fred was easy to put in a carrier but Billy disappeared and wouldn't come when we called. Poor Fred got so distressed he called and cried and Billy came running.
Like your boys they are so close. I am trying to think what I would do in your situation and I can't think of anything beyond what you are doing.

As you say, although George's welfare comes first, a shredded stair carpet can be dangerous for all of you! Is it certain steps or the whole lot? I have heard that cats don't like aluminium foil. Could you try that on the stairs (tacked into place with a bit of sticky tape)?

I'm sure someone will be along soon with a better idea.

[lilynmitz]

With unwanted behaviours addressing the source is much more effective than addressing the behaviour itself. It does sound like his bereavenpment is the start of it, but how does he interact with the rest of the household? Adjustments will happen as they always do as the dynamic changes with the loss or addition of a group member. He needs to find his new role in the new order of things, and that can leave him feeling pretty insecure. As Bobbysgirl says you’re doing the right things already, but you might find it helpful to speak with a behaviourist or animal commmunicator, who can help him through this difficult phase. Meanwhile talk to him a lot about what’s happened, share your feelings of loss with him, and give him plenty of reassurance and affection, and you may find that helps him too. I know that sounds a bit new age, but it really can help. Animals are much more perceptive than we realise.

[melisajayne]

Thank you both! we currently have a dressing gown lying on the stairs, he didn't scratch last night so hopefully we can kerb the habit just by preventing him from accessing the carpet.. although it does look like were slobs with clothes strewn across the stairs , at the weekend ill give the foil a go, its mostly in the corners of the stairs so im hoping we won't have to foil the whole staircase!!

Dynamic within the group is definitely shifting, he has a good relationship with one of the older boys but being nearly 4, he is no way near as playful as Greg was.

Don't worry, I talk to him and the others daily, my neighbours must think im mad when i ask them what they've been doing and when they chirp back i go 'oh thats nice'..

If all else fails I will consider getting a behaviourist in to help him. Sometimes i look at him and he just looks a little lost, when Greg passed away it was late in the evening, we put him in the shed overnight and the following morning when we were sorting the garden to bury him, George could see him through the window panes on the door, when we buried him, he sat by where he was buried for a while, he spent a few days walking round the garden smelling the air. I feel like he knew what happened and is grieving like us but he can't tell me how he feels.

Thank you again. <3

[lilynmitz]

Cats definitely do grieve, I've seen it in mine many times. It often starts with them going to the place where their former friend was last in the house and spending time there, just as your boy did by the graveside, and then they seem to go through a gradual acceptance. Sometimes they seem to adjust quite well, but one of mine was really depressed for several months, until he made friends with a neighbour's new kitten. It was really hard to watch. Luckily science is now accepting that animals do have a range of emotions, including grief, and thank heaven this is now being acknowledged.

The carpet scratching can be an attention grabbing ploy - it could be he's just missing company. It is also a way of scent marking. Hopefully he will start to adjust soon, but meanwhile I hope you don't trip over the clothes on the stairs!

[Alice]

Just a couple of suggestions to consider - you say that the carpet scratching is mostly in corners, so perhaps you could put down wide, double sided sticky tape, if you can keep it away from the area you step on. Cats hate the feel of it under their paws. I've used it in various areas with great success, with various cats.

Another idea would be to email the catchat behaviourist, free of charge, about your problem.... [email protected]